Jump to content

DrPepper-olic

Members
  • Posts

    190
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    the dirty south
  • Interests
    being admitted
  • Program
    Economics - Ph.D.

DrPepper-olic's Achievements

Latte

Latte (6/10)

22

Reputation

  1. First off, thank you all so much for the advice! I'm female and probably do feel some undue gender-related pressure in addition to the impostor syndrome. I am glad to know that I'm not alone in the feelings. I actually spent two days trying to make sure I didn't accidentally mark the wrong ethnicity on my form because I got an email with "Presidential or Diversity Fellowship" in the title. (I would HATE to show up on admit day only to reveal a glaring error I had made in checking selection boxes.) I have since concluded that these people know what they're doing. In fact, I'm they have a reputation for being highly rational, if nothing else. (Like robots.) I'm sure they checked up on me. (Especially considering one LOR writer tracked me down and told me off for being so lazy as an undergrad/made me swear I'd be better next year.) Second, I guess I should be grateful that, last year during my MA, classmates and professors thought I didn't have it in me to succeed. I had to get scrappy. I even learned how to slowly build a study group, by tutoring the weakest person in the class, who then invited a friend, etc. until all but 3 of the whole cohort were studying together. (I drew a circle that drew them in.) I'm building my artillery now to fight off all the internal and external doubts that are inevitably on their way. First step: learn computer programming. qbtacoma, I also withdrew during adolescence (6th grade). I feel like American youth culture is increasingly philistine. (Don't know if you're from the US so maybe it's more than a domestic phenomenon?) I must have been in my own little bubble by the time everyone started caring about grades because I never developed that opinion that "knowledge" is a zero sum game.* While I was going through the "all rejection" phase of this application period, it finally occurred to me that what I truly crave is intellectual stimulation and camaraderie. I hope that I find it, either in grad school or because of grad school. *And law/business schools who still function that way can suck it. Intellectual mercantilism is an obsolete idea.
  2. Awesome. I don't know much about Chicago geography, but I'll post my neighborhood as soon as I know where I'll be living. I'm going up on April 1 to scout things out.
  3. They called my bluff. I applied so I could tell my kids I applied. Then I put it out of my mind. I've been crushing on much more realistic programs, trying to convince myself they "fit" even better than Top School. I never even imagined myself getting on the wait list. Fast-forward three months to a slew of rejections from those schools I've been dreaming about. I spent most of last week trying not to get tears in my booze. (No hyperbole.) I even initiated Plan B (and was admitted to an MS program in Math at this school in my town). Yesterday, I had just finished saying how I had decided to be happy with my circumstances and make the most of my situation when I got an email. A fellowship from Top School. WTF?! I called family and friends. I emailed LOR writers. It took a 2 mile run to burn off the nervous energy. Now that the elation has burned off, my nerves have taken over. This school has a reputation for high attrition and cut-throat competition among first- and second-year students. Um...I'm just little ol' me. I'm not a world leader. I'm not trying to change the world. I really just want to go to a school where I can (1) have intelligent, engaging academic conversations with my classmates and (2) have a mentor who knows something about my special interests in the field. I'm not a rock star. I'm a nerd. I'm scared the cut-throat students will smell fear and go in for the kill. (It doesn't help that one LOR writer already responded with "you better brush up on your basics". Ack!! I don't even think he expected this.) I want to be clear: I am not complaining; I am honored and HUMBLED by the opportunity. A small part of me takes the fellowship as a huge vote of confidence in my potential. A larger part of me has a pathological inability to accept happiness. All those rejection emails (and the implicit rejections from many other schools who already sent out acceptances and wait lists) killed enough of my confidence that I'm hesitating at all. I would be a fool to pass up this offer. I will formally accept it as soon as I get my other two Top School rejections. (Hey, not all my hope is gone. ) I noticed a few weeks ago that many other GradCafeers were receiving wonderful offers. Does anyone else feel the magnitude of his/her generous offer?
  4. Hi! I'm about 95% sure I'm going to U of Chicago.
  5. I was at home for lunch, and my husband brought me my phone before heading out the door. (You know, so I could check for a rejection email before heading back to work. They feel less hurtful when you have to squint to read them.) I saw that one of the 3 new messages in my inbox was from "admissions" and had a file attachment. Honestly, it looked like an ad. I've been receiving a large number of spams since I put my email on the GRE search list when I took the test. I opened the email anyway, and saw it was from Top Ranked U. (This school wasn't even my top choice because I thought I had no chance.) I was sure it was going to be a rejection so I asked my husband to stay for a minute. Then I started reading. "...I am pleased to offer you admission..." WTF?! I told him I thought it was spam because below it there was information about downloading Adobe Acrobat Reader. A little further down I found a link to a PDF, and, to be sure, it really was an admission letter, with financial aid papers. It took a minute or so for the news to soak in because I've been so melancholy lately. I noticed my husband's eyes watering. I read the letter again. I read the financial offer. I jumped up off the couch and onto my husband. We jumped up and down squealing. I did a happy dance. Then I called my folks. That conversation was so anticlimactic. At least I'm glad I could express to them how grateful I am that they loaned me cost-of-living money for grad school. (I'm probably to blame because I figured this school was such a reach that I should've worn a harness when I applied. I didn't talk up the school at all because I didn't want to get my hopes up either. They have no idea about the school's reputation or how I could only dream of studying under the same great minds whose theories I've toyed with in my own research.) I called my friend and called my brother, both of whom know more about my field. That turned out much better. And I could finally offer a sincere, sane apology for being so crazy for the last six months. And now I'm posting the good news here. Yay!
  6. got first admit!! with a 5 year fellowship offer!! from Chicago!!! Praise God!

    1. Show previous comments  6 more
    2. DrPepper-olic

      DrPepper-olic

      Thanks y'all! This community rocks! I hope my future classmates are as encouraging as you guys. :)

    3. Bumblebee
    4. Neuronista
  7. made it to 5PM CST with no more news. It's been almost 7 days since hearing anything. Will the floodgates open tomorrow?

    1. Langoustine

      Langoustine

      I'm thinking my gates have a structural fault built in...

    2. eklavya

      eklavya

      seriously you guys, i don't think i will be hearing back from rest of my schools till next fall. sucks!

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

This website uses cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website. See our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use