crazygirl2012

My advisor talked me out of it, mostly because I didn't have a solid plan. (Well, I had a "plan" that I still love, but it would not have furthered my career at all.) I would say to examine your reasons for wanting a gap year vs. your reasons for wanting to go straight to grad school. Look into your options, and in the end just go with what feels right. I've asked grad students, professors, and other undergrads this question. From what I've been told, there's no right or wrong answer. I think it does depend on your field too, and the program in which you're interested. For the most part, my field (social psychology) likes to take students right out of undergrad, but a master's degree can really help your chances of getting in (although they'll make you basically repeat those two years anyway in their Ph.D. program), and some programs would prefer that students take a gap year to make sure that academia is really what they want.

Just for fun! My answer: writing a paper on benevolent sexism. Interesting topic, but my senioritis is acting up.

That might be my favorite.

I love everyone's insights! I struggle with confidence a lot too. I rely so much on external validation, and when I don't get it, I decide I'm worthless. I think it will be an ongoing struggle for many of us in grad school.

Thank you!!! I'm actually good at stats, so it's really frustrating to be tested on algebra and geometry when the relevant math comes so naturally to me. I did go from 36th percentile to 61st in Quant, so I consider it an accomplishment. I'll never be good at math, but I did learn how to persist when I'm terrible at something and how to take pride in personal achievement.

I somehow knew what the question was before I clicked the link. Timeless, indeed. Sh*t College Freshmen Don't Say is pretty good: This one is about undergrads in dorms. It's like watching my freshman year unfold in front of my eyes again, in the best possible way...

When I began the application process, I realized that second semester could easily spend me into a tailspin of self-loathing if things didn't turn out the way I wanted them to. (I'm happy to report that I'm getting interviews and things are actually great so far!) So I started a list of various lessons I had learned from the process of applying to grad school. I wanted reassurance that it hadn't been a waste of time, money, and energy. Here's part of the list. Maybe you can relate. 4. When you do something wrong, just do the next thing right. 5. Ask for help, openly and sincerely. People like to know that they're needed. 8. You can't control your past, but it can't control you either, so you two might as well come to some sort of agreement. 10. Absurd, difficult, infuriating things happen. They are always going to happen. Whenever possible, laugh it off. Laughing it off is possible more often than you think it is. 12. When you get an email from your advisor entitled "we're all morons", just remember that "all" means you're not the only one. 14. For the first time in my life, I'm trying-- really, honestly, deeply trying-- to do something at which I might fail, and that scares the hell out of me. 15. If you're staring at your computer and crying in your lab in the middle of the night... just go home. No, really. That's just not okay. Go home. 16. Getting a paper with a ton of corrections everywhere is actually a really good sign. If your paper is horrible, your professor won't tell you what you did wrong because it's all wrong anyway. 17. "Enough" is a myth. You can never give it and you can never get it. Give the world all you've got, and don't hope it's enough. Know that it's not, accept that it never will be, and stop apologizing for not doing what you could not possibly have done. 23. If you work all the time, you will get nothing done. 24. Stay organized. 25. Things aren't easy for other people. They just bother to hide struggles that I don't.

Thank you! I hope that making the list is as rewarding for you as it has been for me. I think I will go ahead and start a new topic on this! Edit: Posted. It's in the Waiting it Out forum and the topic is called, "What has the application process taught you about life?".

break down

Thank you. I'm not worried about my personality being an issue, really-- I just need to stop being so stressed about interview weekends in general! And it is really, really nice that students offer to let us prospectives stay with them. I hope to return that favor someday.

Here are my strategies: 1. Wash dishes. You can't check your email while washing dishes without damaging your laptop or smartphone, and you can't check your application statuses and Grad Cafe from ALL THE PLACES at ALL THE TIMES without your technology. 2. Sit on your bedroom floor and eat cereal straight from the box. A lot of cereal. 3. Call a fellow applicant and tell them to get off Grad Cafe because it's unhealthy, but oh, if you're already on it, can you check this one school of mine and tell me if anything has changed in the past 3 minutes? 4. Stare at a wall and think about all the horrible things that could go wrong in your interviews. When you've thought of everything, think again. You'll come up with something else. 5. If you're in college, remember that second semester seniors are technically still students. Consider doing something for one of your classes. Laugh at the mere thought. 6. Watch YouTube videos of ostriches. 7. Read Twilight. Yes, the waiting game has broken me.

I would move to Seattle, work at a lesbian bar, rekindle my love for creative writing, drink entirely too much coffee, and wear pretty dresses in the rain.

That's really nice! Thank you!

Oh, believe me, I don't. I have all sorts of rationalizations about how I'm actually less crazy with Grad Cafe than I would be without it. Sometimes, I even believe my own arguments!

Everyone around here hates me now too! I put a "read at your own risk" disclaimer on it when I posted it on Facebook.

These are such good suggestions! I'll add "Vienna" by Billy Joel.

I talked to my POI on the phone without fully understanding all of the biology behind her work. She definitely didn't grill me on it! It's very important that you are familiar with the person's work, but not that you understand every detail. As my mentor keeps reminding me, they know we're not grad students yet.

I'll be staying with a grad student for 2 nights for at least 2 of my interview weekends, and probably the 3rd as well. I'm nervous about it! I'm not a particularly awkward person or a difficult houseguest, so I don't anticipate any real problems. It just adds another layer of anxiety to the whole experience. I know that when you go for an interview, everyone is evaluating you constantly. I wish I could just go back to a hotel room at the end of the day, process everything that happened, and sleep. But I'm already spending so much money on plane tickets. It wouldn't make sense to turn down offers of free lodging. Thoughts? Reassurance? Lie to me and tell me everything is going to be okay?

Agreed. I make a point of being patient in explaining how it works, but it isn't always easy when we hear it so often! It's fine when people are just unaware of how grad school works, but when they imply that I'm freeloading or avoiding a career, I get irritated. Here's another gem, from my well-intentioned mother: "I knew someone who got his Ph.D. online when he was in his fifties, so maybe you could do that if you don't get in this year!" Annoying at the time. Hilarious now.

All of the above! I recently had a dream that I drove all the way to one interview (6 hours) and realized I hadn't brought a suitcase and didn't have any clothes appropriate for an interview. Last night, the dream was that I forgot how to comprehend language during a phone interview. In September, I started keeping a list of things I learned throughout the application process, so that no matter how it turned out, I would remember that it was worthwhile. I am happy to say that it's working out well for me, and I'm so glad I made that list. I swear this process is some sort of hazing ritual for grad school, but it has taught me a lot.

I hear I spend way too much time on Grad Cafe, but I freak out about everything regardless of what I do, so I just go with it.

How about Toledo, OH and Norfolk, VA? It sounds like the general area of Norfolk has gotten some great reviews, as it's fairly close to Durham, Raleigh, and Greensboro. I doubt I would run into serious problems anywhere, because people are always surprised to hear that I'm a lesbian, but I do want to date women while I'm in grad school.

The quant GRE was the bane of my existence. My verbal and writing scores are quite good, but I have always struggled with math. I raised my score a lot, mostly because I had so much pressure from my advisor and friends. For about two weeks before the test, I was reprimanded for sleeping more than a few hours a night, because that was time that could be spent studying. If you're hardcore about studying, you will get better. Use the Kaplan review CD. You can start with un-timed practice tests and move on to timed tests when you're ready. Using the computer is totally different from pencil and paper, even when they're the same problems. Make sure you get some computerized experience.

I spoke with my POI on the phone, and it was much more of an interview than I thought it would be! I think I handled it well, but some of the questions were more difficult to answer than I had anticipated. I was invited to interview weekend, and I still am. She said that interview day is hectic so she wanted a chance to really have a conversation with me. It was around 30 minutes long. Overall, it was a positive experience-- just stressful! So my advice is to treat any phone conversation as if it is your interview. Prepare thoroughly and be confident!

From other college seniors: "Grad school? Oh, that's nice. I'm applying for JOBS." Generally from older people: "Grad school? Haha, must be nice! Are your parents paying for that?" I'll be fully funded and constantly working, thankyouverymuch.