crazygirl2012

I appreciate your kind words too! And I'm glad to hear that your interview went well.

I'm starting in August, and I'm nervous too. Doing anything new can be both exciting and nerve-wracking. Of course we don't know if we can do it-- we haven't done it yet! But confidence takes time to build. It sounds like you love what you do and you're very willing to work hard and to find new ways to get things done. You'll be fine.

You're in trouble because you called him late? That must be a very tense work atmosphere if something that minor could trigger anything beyond annoyance! Unless it was like a 2 a.m. drunk dial (which it was not), I don't see why they're making such a big deal out of it. I think the best you can do is just apologize, say that you were eager to return his emails and phone call promptly, and you thought it was his office phone where you could leave a voicemail. That's perfectly reasonable. If you want to be extra cautious about sounding defensive, just go with a simple "I'm sorry, I should have known better, and it won't happen again."

A master's degree qualifies you to teach at a community college, right? Maybe you could look into that. Lab assistant positions are also good.

- What should I tell him about how things ended in the old department? How much detail should I share and how do I not badmouth anybody but also not sound like I am just saying “what you would expect.” If I just say it was a bad fit he will no doubt wonder why it wasn’t and whether there is anything about me that might make me difficult to work with. You have some very valid reasons for it not being a good fit. For one, research interests were not matched after your first advisor moved away. That's a very legitimate and common problem. Just try to keep things as impersonal as possible. You can say that with the change in circumstances, you and your professors formed a working relationship that was fine, but your interests have taken you in a different direction (gerontology). - What kind of questions should I ask him? I want to ask him about how many classes I many need to take and how long it may take, but I’m not sure if I should ask about mentorship, the dissertation, and other topics. You can definitely ask about the dissertation. Quals. Funding. How many current students are in the program. I'd advise asking the students about your potential advisor's mentorship style, rather than asking the professor himself. - Should I ask if I may be able to get my Field Placement requirement for the Gerontology department waived because of my extensive client contact with geriatric patients in my Field Placement in the Counseling Psych program, or is it too early? I don't see why not. On my interview days, students with master's degrees asked about getting some requirements waived. It wasn't weird. As long as your request isn't too much of a stretch, it should be fine. - Should I say I have some dissertation ideas or leave it open for now? I am coming in rather late in the game and I do not know if it would make them feel more reassured to take a chance on me if I have some dissertation ideas or whether it will make them more apprehensive. On one hand they may fear I will never find a good topic and on the other they may fear I am going to stubbornly insist on a topic they are not interested in. I know I can just say these ideas are open to revision or even replacement but I have difficulty approaching this with confidence because this kind of negotiation has been a nightmare in the Counseling Psychology department. I am compromised and I cannot tell what’s reasonable. I was directly asked for my ideas in interviews. It's good to have some prepared, but be vague. It is indeed a hard balance to strike. If they ask the question, of course you'll have to answer it. It might be uncomfortable. I struggle a lot with confidence and hate sharing my ideas, but it's important. - Should I ask him about research assistantships? My scholarship has ended after four years here and as of next semester I would be charged full out-of-state tuition if I don’t have an RA position. Yes. - How much should I share about my medical issues that have made my previous years difficult? The situation has been resolved but it was a rather personal situation and I am not very comfortable talking about it, especially with a younger guy, even if he is a professor. On one hand it may help him understand my difficulties in the past (prior incompletes and the class I took over), on the other it may make him feel uncomfortable too, and on the third, it may not be as consistent with the whole "not a good fit" component which I may want to emphasize. There's no need to share anything personal, especially if it will make you both uncomfortable. The amount of detail you shared with us-- not much-- is perfect. You got the point across without compromising your privacy. I would do the same. - I am currently the president of a Psychology of gender student organization, a position I will hold for another year possibly until another president is voted in. This organization has primarily been housed in the Counseling Psychology department but the faculty mentor for this organization said it should be no problem if I continued to be president while in the Gero department. In a recent meeting, I mentioned my interest in a topic related to gender and senior housing, and several members of the organization expressed interest in potentially doing some research related to the topic over the next year. Should I say anything about this in the meeting and how should I go about talking about it? This professor and I had discussed how we would both like to see the two departments come closer together and collaborate more given the need for mental health services in the aging field and especially given that the new Graduate Certificate program would provide a way for more Counseling Psychology students to specialize in Aging. Coming in while president of an organization primarily made up of students in the Counseling department can be a way through which the departments establish more solid ties. Sure! From what you wrote, it sounds like you already know what you'd like to say. I think that bringing it up is a good idea. It shouldn't be too difficult to work this topic into the conversation. - Finally, I could use any tips for departing well with the previous department. It is sad what happened but it has not all been bad. I appreciate the opportunity they gave me and would like to keep good ties with the department as a whole. A brief, individualized, sincere "thank you" to everyone would probably go a long way. When you're saying goodbye, try not to harp on how things didn't work out. Just thank them for their help in your career, recommendations, and support.

Got it. If I could start a charity that would help others avoid the GRE, I would. It took such a toll on my well-being.

I'm one of four in my cohort, and that sounds large to me now! I think having a tiny cohort could be good. You'll still have the more senior students for company, and you probably won't have to worry quite as much about competition as people with larger cohorts will.

I can definitely sympathize. I was respected and liked in undergrad, but also known for being a bit inconsistent and highly anxious. You're not being too sensitive-- the things they've said about you are hurtful. Your doubt about the program and your place in it is understandable. I believe that if you really, really wanted this, you could turn things around and prove yourself, but it would take a lot of patience and diligence. I would suggest being really honest with yourself about how willing you are to devote yourself to changing your reputation. Maybe the place is just toxic for you and staying there wouldn't be healthy. Maybe it would be a character-building experience that, overall, would be positive. Likely, it would be a mix of both. Look into other options, preferably ones outside of Arizona, before you make your decision. This is a tough question that none of us can really answer for you. You just have to be as honest with yourself as possible.

I studied for about 6-8 hours the day before the test and got a 760 (94th percentile). I didn't intend to cram like that-- just got way too busy with other stuff and it snuck up on me! I believe I just worked through practice tests and used my review book to review the parts that gave me trouble. I counted how many I got wrong in each area of psychology after the practice tests so I could identify my weak spots. I always recommend Princeton Review.

Really? University of Toronto required my GRE scores when I applied last Fall.

There are pros and cons to both. The points you mentioned are really important ones. Because the pros and cons in this decision really balance each other, I didn't worry too much about whether or not my potential advisor had tenure. It was not a factor in my decision. The advisor I chose does not have tenure, and I'm actually pretty happy about that. My undergrad advisor is the same age as my PhD advisor (30). I'm happy that I can continue to work with someone young. Other students might prefer an older, more experienced advisor who already has tenure. I think that compatibility (in personality, research interests, expectations, etc.) is most important.

Agreed. I felt guilty when I was filling out applications and answered that I had never been on disciplinary probation, because I was given a similar sanction for underage drinking as a freshman. When I talked to the dean who gave me the sanction, she said that I could honestly answer "no", so I did. If they only ask about felonies, there's no need to disclose the DUI.

Maybe you can be vague about it and say that you did talk to other students (which you did) and you're still lost.

Yes, I think all of what we're experiencing is normal-- doubt, feeling overwhelmed, impostor syndrome, the whole deal. I'm just trying to stay realistic. I'm a natural pessimist, so being realistic is hard enough-- being positive would be a stretch!

It really depends on the school. PhD students in my program make 1/4 of what we would usually make during the other 9 months. We're technically allowed to have outside summer jobs (but none during the school year), but most advisors look down on that. We're expected to take out loans or rely on savings so that we can focus entirely on research every summer. I really hope I can take a quick vacation, but we're not supposed to leave for long periods of time. Some programs have opportunities for summer TAships. Mine does not. It's not ideal, but I've heard worse. I'm grateful to have full funding during the other 9 months.

It sounds like you're doing great! I'd echo what everyone else has said. Also, is your advisor the type to snap at people when she gets stressed? I don't know the situations in which she freaked out on you, but they were probably not entirely a reflection on you.

That is crazy! Wow. I went to a liberal arts college with no grad students, so this is all new to me. I wouldn't feel uncomfortable if an undergrad had a crush on me if s/he was subtle about it, but anything like that would be pretty awkward. I'm guessing it doesn't usually go quite that far, and could get the undergrad in trouble if the TA chose to pursue it as sexual harassment.

I've actually heard of undergrads leaving their name and phone number on their teaching evaluations at the end of the semester if they wanted to ask their TA out. Once the semester is over, it's totally fine! The degree to which people gossip about it (if at all) probably depends on the the university and the department. Personally, I see nothing wrong with it.

I'll do it. Message me and I'll give you my email address. I've done a lot of editing. Much of it was for a friend whose third language is English. I don't mind.

I felt the same way, and it really hindered my progress in all aspects of application. I was so embarrassed to give my rough draft to my advisor, because even though it was a professional essay, I let the "personal" in "personal statement" get to me. I was protective of it and thought it was awful and that I was awful. My personal life in college was honestly pretty hellish. It was hard to form a cohesive "story" of my experience up to that point, of what I had done and of how I developed my research interests. I would hate to read it again, because I know it doesn't sound like "my story" at all. It's sterilized to the point that it hardly even sounds like me, and that's just fine. Like you, I've accomplished so much that either doesn't sound like a big deal if you don't know me or is far too personal for an application. I like to think our achievements somehow shine through, even when they don't seem all that great (or, in my case, existent) on paper. Applying to grad school is all about showing the potential to be successful, especially for those of us coming straight out of undergrad. Without seeing your essay, I can't give you specific advice on wording. But play around with it until it sounds right. If you believe in the magnitude of your accomplishments, that will come across in your writing. If you can't convince yourself that you deserve to be in grad school, you'll have a hard time convincing the admissions committees that you deserve it. I did this the hard way. I hope you can find some peace and confidence. That will make all the difference in your writing.

I'll play! A girl messaged me who didn't really seem like my type for multiple reasons, but I didn't want to discount anyone right away, so I agreed to meet her for a date. I gave her my number, and she started texting me all. day. every. day. When I began to ignore some of her texts (like the ones that just said "what are you doing?"), she got upset. I hadn't even met her yet, and I'm the type of person who would be completely turned off and downright terrified by anyone being clingy. I was very nice when I called off the date, and she seemed okay with it. A month later, she messaged me to say hello and ask if we could still talk online occasionally. A couple messages later, she casually mentioned that she had been arrested that week for assaulting someone (not in self-defense), but that it was okay and she just had a bad temper. Yeah, I didn't reply to that message. The story would have been way better had I actually gone through with the date... but I can't say I regret canceling!

Mine sounded pretty mandatory, but mine is the week before school starts. I'd suggest letting your program know ASAP that you're supposed to be at your current job at that time but you're trying to work something out. May seems awfully early to have a mandatory orientation.