Queen of Kale

(the following is in no way meant to disparage any previous posters) While I'm sure that on occasion reverse academic snobbery exists, I think more often than not it's a phenomenon much like "reverse racism" - in that the very people who feel they are being wronged are in fact simply worried they will not get the advantage they feel they are owed. I'm not an anti-intellectual, and there is certainly a strange cultural undertow which sometimes makes me feel as if I'm swimming upstream when I strive to be well informed, articulate, and logical. For example, the constant need for politicians in America to make a big show of being "plain spoken" and folksy. So in a broad sense, yes, I think culturally there is an annoying smart vs. "real" perception problem. But, on an individual basis, I have to assume everyone is trying their best. I just assume an intentional posture of niavete in order to not become an ass-hat myself. Because for me it is better to assume if someone boasts to me that they would never be bothered to read a book that perhaps they have an undiagnosed learning disability, or an incredible strength in art, or simply a strong preference for auditory learning but they listen to pod casts religiously - whatever, than to assume they are just a big stupid idiot who hates smart people. I barely graduated high school, I'm the only one of my friends from that period of my life who did finish high school, I married a high school drop out, and I spent much of a decade working in a hair salon. Many of my clients were college students, graduate students, law students, or scientists from the nearby national lab. The most articulate, interesting, and accomplished people also tended to be the people who just spoke to me like I was a person and were completely unconcerned with impressing me or impressing upon me the importance of education. Occasionally I had a jackass in my chair, and it's 50/50 that person thought I was an elitist high brow snob or an uneducated idiot rube. I have strong feelings about this, because I've been on both sides, and have been perceived as being on both sides the entire time depending on who I was with and what I was doing. In the end I found that as with anything, you won't change anyone who isn't interested, who has their guard up, and the more you push the more they will build up a defense against you and what you represent. If you have a jackass in your salon chair, or in your life, treat them well until you get get them out the door and don't let them back. And if you're dealing with a non-jackass, don't push an agenda or a belief system, and if someone is interested in your views, your beliefs, or your value system (including placing a high value on education) they will see that in your actions and ask you directly if they want to know more. (All this is, of course, just one blue collar lady's opinion)

snack pack

I agree with Tupamaros, but wanted to add that it never hurts to give yourself an extra week or two beyond what you expect to take. I made a plan based on 6 weeks of studying and booked a test 8 weeks out just in case at the end of the 6 weeks I didn't feel ready. But, everyone has a style and mine is just happens to be anal retentive.

camel pack

I joined Phi Kappa Phi a few years ago and only kept it on my resume for under a year. I can't help but feel like it doesn't mean much more than the $75 or whatever I paid because I didn't gain any meaningful experience from my membership. In the end I only kept things on my CV which, if asked about, I would be able to honestly discuss learning or growing from those experiences or accomplishments. That's just my personal experience and I don't want to rain on any one else's parade. I paid my dues, I have my assortment of honor cord graduation swag from all my various affiliations, but in the end it wasn't worth much more to me.

My nerves are only starting to fray now that I'm waiting for my last reimbursement check but I already paid a deposit on an apartment in my new state. I no longer have wriggle room financially, mentally, or emotionally. Hello Miss Crazy Kale

political action

I think the feedback anyone gets tends to emphasize what they did really well or really poorly. For example, most POIs I met mentioned my LORs as a major strength, it was something that was brought up so consistently that by the end of my visits it felt like a running joke. But I know other successful applicants who feel like the letters weren't a strength or a hurdle, just a placeholder in their application. My GREs were solid but pretty meh, yet I feel like they don't matter that much because it didn't end up negatively influencing my applications. Overall I could rank these elements for you based on my experience but all I know is my one data point and I'd kinda feel like a crappy scientist trying to see a trend.

I let each of my letter writers know either in person (when feasible) or by e-mail. Each professor wrote back an enthusiastic reply and I think they were glad that I kept them in the loop. Several mentioned that they would save the letter on file in case I need another letter at some point in the future. So, all in all, it turned out to not only be a nice thing to do but to also have some sort of practical incentive tied to it as well. Best of both worlds!

lash out

deadly game

I agree that visits were very important and I ended up committing to a school which was not my original first choice because of how immediately I felt at home. Also, despite feeling torn between my top schools I was surprised how NOT talking about grad school and taking a few days to try to forget the process before making a decision allowed me to suddenly have an epiphany about what school I wanted to choose. At a certain point all of my complex spreadsheets and logic fell by the wayside and I had to go with my gut. Afterwards I thought through it logically again, but taking that time and trusting my instincts was critical.

well, since it's public anyway... GO SELF FULFILLMENT!

Well, my husband and I have found an apartment for our new city but scouting out a reputable moving company to truck our stuff across the country has been a pain in my rump. We've had estimates from like 7 companies, most of which have an eerie mix of 5 star reviews and fraud warnings on the internet. It's just been tiresome. I completely forgot how much I hated this part of moving 3 years ago when we did the same thing. And worse, all the big companies just contract out to local guys but they don't want to tell you the local business name and so you can't even be 100% sure what you're gonna get. ahhhhhhhh I hate this! (end vent) On the other hand, every time I get stressed out I put on my new school hoodie and do some deep breathing exercises.

Well, I made my decision a few weeks ago, I'm not a particularly emotional person, but I still teared up when I wrote my last letter to the last POI I was turning down. As has been said, you're stressed, you're run down, you've been forging a relationship with these people (and I mean a working relationship, not a romantic one, I don't think anyone has that confused), and you've been trying each place on for size by really imagining a life in each place. I didn't cry over every email sent by any means, but when I had to choose between my last two schools and I knew that both would be incredible but very different roads for me (and my husband) - sending that last letter was a little strange. It's rare that I've imagined a road not taken so completely and for so long and it becomes like saying goodbye to something real, something that's already happened.

back scratch

<-- this girl is the love of my life, Wendy. She's bigger and bossier now, but this was when she was 6 mo old. She's a catahoula.

magic charm

This is totally me. I'd rather wake up early, eat a huge breakfast, and get down to business vs. try to stay up all night and get progressively more grumpy/sloppy/strange. But I know people who feel strongly that they work best at the last minute or at night. Part of me feels perhaps it's a bit like self-professed great multi-taskers who actually tend to be worse at multi-tasking. I'm a skeptic when it comes to all-nighters.

I got an HM but was not as bummed as I expected. All my reviews were super nice. I think the most telling reviewer was the second who wrote both "other applicants have had more compelling references in terms of demonstrating the potential of the applicant." and "the applicant is strongly encouraged to apply again if not successful this round." Congrats to all the awardees and HMers and hugs to everyone else. Funding is a crap shoot but everyone deserves a round of applause for applying, especially second and third year applicants. VG/VG VG/E VG/E

If you are in a science field you can get reports of your potential POIs that show number of publications, average citation per publication, and impact factor or "h-index". That might be what you're looking for. But be aware if your POIs are in different fields it can be a bit like comparing apples and oranges. For instance one of my professors has published twice as many papers as another but each paper has been cited on average about a third as much. You could read a great deal into this but one field has shorter papers on average, which can mean both more papers and fewer citations. So try to keep that in mind.

I deliberately didn't look at any of my application materials (for the NSF GRFP or my grad school apps) after they were turned in. I'm a queen of typos but if it's too late to fix it I just don't want to know.

So I'm married and I never changed my last name but I have thought about it many times for the same reason. My name is also super common but my husband's name is quite unique. To this point my "publications" are limited to a few posters and a conference abstract. I've been thinking about it in particular lately as I have to decide what name to put on my diploma from my undergraduate institution. I doubt I will ever hang it in my office, and it seems like a small gesture, but I know using my husband's name would make him happy. Plus, it would be the first of what I think might be many instances of my using his name professionally while not legally changing it. But, I sort of go back and forth on it, not because I care a bit about my name but because my mother (of all people) pitched like a 6 month fit when I got married and wanted to change my name. She actually stopped speaking to me for awhile, it was insane. So there's an added "activation energy" barrier for me but its something I think about quite often and I'm thinking of taking the plunge also.

Agreed. Option A doesn't seem viable if you want to have a small child. Because, you will have to come home suddenly many times for small emergencies with a baby, an 2 hours will seem like an eternity.

shot down