Datatape

"You know, I cried when I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet. And then I laughed really hard." - Jerri Blank, Strangers With Candy All right, all right, for reals. "The best way out is always through." - Robert Frost "Man cannot discover new oceans until he has the courage to lose sight of the shore." - Andre Gide "I see my path, but I don't know where it leads. Not knowing where I'm going is what inspires me to travel it." - Rosalia de Castro

I've not heard of too many programs doing them, but I did know Emory did and they were the last hurdle you had to scale before getting in. And, assuming that the post is genuine, they said only 18 students were invited to interview, so I'm assuming they all went out. It's not a huge deal; Emory was always a Hail Mary pass for me, so I wasn't expecting too much.

I did not get one of those. Looks like that'll be my first implicit rejection.

I am doing my best to remain calm, and I think I'm at least doing a good job of projecting it. Everybody who's seen me go through both cycles now has commented about how much less stressed I seem than last year. What they don't know is that while this is me on the outside: This is me on the inside:

Texas Tech said they expect to have their decisions made by the 24th.

Wishbone. Oh, my God. NOW I know what was missing from my Statement of Purpose.

"A Rose for Emily" is sublime.

I applied to Maryland last year and I don't recall there being any problems with them receiving official transcripts. :/

I shall give myself over entirely to the drink. Oh, wait, I was going to do that anyway.

"Are you going to be as cranky this year as you were last year?" Well, hopefully not.

This reminds me of a page from my all-time favorite webcomic.

Lately, nearly everybody has been asking me if I'm feeling okay. I know what they mean, but it makes me feel like I have begun to resemble a Victorian consumptive: pale and wan and not long for the world.

Well, I hadn't had any weird dreams, but I dreamt last night that all of my POIs (yes, every single one, including those I never heard back from) were all sitting around a circular table with me, looking at me in a very displeased manor. Then they got up and started dancing a conga line out of the room. I may need therapy.

As a second-timer, I can say that this is true, but it doesn't make the feelings less valid. To even consider applying for a Ph.D. in any discipline, you have to be very dedicated and determined; these are the kind of students who have done very well in at least one level of their college careers. Many have probably been encouraged and supported by their professors or their peers, who recognize potential and want to see that potential realized. Now with a vacuum of response and literally no way to predict how and where responses will come (except for DontHate's psychic abilities, natch), it's absolutely natural for these very talented, determined, and dedicated people to be overwhelmed with feelings of uncertainty and anxiety. But I can tell you from experience that all those people who are rooting for you, the ones who you don't want to let down, will be the first ones to encourage you to try again. They'll be the ones helping ensure you have a successful year to bolster your CV and fine-tune your writing sample and SOP. They'll be the ones giving you pep talks when you're dreading facing another year of applications. And they'll be the ones who make you believe in yourselves yet again. Yes, getting in nowhere absolutely sucks, and I'm not going to lie to you that it doesn't. But it's not the end of the world and it's hardly uncommon in such a hyper-competitive environment. You have done everything you can, this year. Don't feel like you've let everybody down if you have to give it another try.

What waiting it out feels like.

I had a well-meaning co-worker give me the "Oh, you're going to get in everywhere!" routine the other day and I had to sit there, smiling, while inside I was all:

Hee. No, just a reference to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ladykillers_(2004_film)'>the worst Coen brothers film of all time.

Well, I suppose it is just a penny off everybody's policy...

Thin, thin crust bianca. Mmmmm, bianca.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAXgscqhlg0'>Florida, Patty Griffin

Nine days is not a very long period of time, especially around the holidays. I wrote to POIs at every school I applied to and while some of them got back to me right away, one in particular didn't email me back for almost three weeks. He was very apologetic when he did so (it had been a particularly busy semester for him and he was working his way out from under a mountain of emails) and gave me a lot of good information and encouragement when he did. So I wouldn't mark this one off just yet - give her at least a couple of weeks to get back to you and if you don't hear from her by then, start asking around for other professors in the department.

The first school I'm expecting to hear back from told me they'd have decisions made by January 24. Around the latter half of the month, this is how I will be looking: