Dal PhDer

My eyes have been opened! I love this idea! I must try it! An afternoon glass of wine while working sounds perfect!!

If you are not sure or are not ready for the commitment, then take a year off. With that said, I would use that year to do activities that will boost your application- like RA work, getting your thesis out for publication , and/or atending a conference. I might also spend this time researching into your dissertation topic, so that you can come in with a solid idea of what you want to do. ...but maybe doing all that isn't technically a 'year off'...

What an awesome thread! I have to say, I don't really put in the effort to dress appropriately for school....on a typical lab/library day, I will either be in flats or boots, black leggings and a tank/cartigan combo. If I have a presentation or a class to teach, I normally wear a black knee length skirt, black belt and a jazzy/colourful silk top, and flats. I recently bought a fake leather jacket and that's my default outterwear for most days. I have a nice knee length black coat I wear if I am going to a conference or dinner. I typically wear the same jewelery...but that's because I have some special pieces (necklace my mom gave me, my grandmother's wedding rings, and a family braclet). They are casual but nice pieces. I need a good bag. I find a backpack ruins my whole look I do have a black messenger bag, but it's not practical for a computer and books. I think I will just have to stop packing like I will never return home.....

From my experience, grad school is filled with many situations where you have to bite your tounge, put aside your pride, and plead ignorance. Remember- you want to make sure you're making the higher ups happy! It's a hard situation, and not often the healthiest, but I think it's fairly common in grad school...(and in the workplace!)

BARS!?!! You're my hero! This is a brilliant idea! why haven't I thought of that!?

I agree with ZeChocMoose- your cohort won't care. One month into my PhD I moved back home with my mom. No one cared, in fact- most people were jealous! I owned that move like nothing else, and really enjoyed my time back home...but I have to admit, I enjoy my time in my apartment alone much more! You will find that in graduate school, you will meet a wide range of people from various backgrounds. You are at a place and stage in your life where people's opinions of you are going to be based on your work and academic interactions- not on the presence of your mother during the first week of a major life step!!

hmm...dunno...never heard of being able to pick your method of evaluation. Perhaps the credit/no credit is for auditing a course? You can audit the course and it can be on your transcripts that you took it, but you won't receive a grade for it.

I would go and chat with her face to face. I think miscommunications happen a lot via email, so I wouldn't worry. As others have said, I would go in being apologetic and non-combative. Even if you are frustrated by her advice, it's always best to stay on people's good sides. You might want to also stress to her (very politely) that you're confused, worried and stressed out about which courses to take. It sounds like you're taking a course that might not be related to your thesis topic, is this a required course for your department? I remember during my MA I had to take a course on program evaluation...I hated it. HATED it. Hate is not a strong enough word. The entire time I did it I was like "..this is the stupidiest class ever! I am never going to use it! Wah wah wah!!" ...turns out, it was probably the most valuable class I have ever taken. I use a lot of the theories and readings from it still! So, even if it's not a class you may think you need and/or will enjoy, it could still have value. Do you have the meeting notes from your communications with her? Or emails? If you do, and they show she is giving conflicting advice, maybe present them to her in a way that's polite and gentle. In all fairness, perhaps she got confused or just made a mistake with what she told you! Edit: On another note, do you have an advisor? For both my MA and PhD my advisor (and committee) guided me through my course selection.

There's lots of great advice here. Just to add my opinion/experience. I would take the minimum number of courses that you need. For my program, you had to take between 6-8 courses (3-4/semester) during your first year to be able to defend your thesis proposal. Taking the minimum courses allowed me to (1) take on an RA position to get great research skills and publications, presentations, and CV additions, (2) take on a TA position, which gave me valuable skills for working successfully in a classroom, (3) apply to various grants and scholarships, and (4) [most importantly] gave me extra time to being to work on my thesis proposal and thesis project. I found this time so helpful and allowed me to get ahead of a lot of the class. I think it's great to take extra courses or courses outside your department- but only if they are directly related to your thesis/dissertation. There's lots of interesting classes out there that are fun and exciting, but you want to make sure you're spending the time and energy on content that will be useful to your dissertation. Also, I found that for me, it was better to audit additional classes. This allowed me to get the content I needed but I didn't have the extra pressures of the actual class assignments.

Hmm...this is an interesting discussion. I think it depends a lot on your relationship with your parent. What I might do is suggest she comes down towards the end of the week so that you're all settled in but she can help you do the 'putting together' of the place. I think your mom just wants to feel needed. While this is a stressful time for you, I think it might be nice of you to also consider that this is a hard time for her. The other thing is, if you tell her not to come, and she gets upset, that might be more stressful for you. If you suggest she comes, but more on your terms - like to help you pick out some fun moving in stuff and decorating (and groceries!), that will probably make her feel really needed. I would try and look at it in a way that it's nice your mom wants to help you out and settle you in! She might be a bit overwhelming, but that's what parents do!

So...getting a PhD just so you can say "You can call me, the Doctor", isn't a good idea? Will I not get a tardis when I graduate?

I think it's really hard to compare UG to grad work...for me, and this could be my social science discipline, I found the type and quality of work between the two completely different. In UG I certainly had a heavy load, but it was mostly because midterms and finals were all lined together. My honours thesis certainly look a heavy loaded semester to complete, but looking back, I don't feel the same weight of work as I have through graduate school. In grad school you will probably have less formal assignments (like 1 final paper, and no tests), but your weekly work and contributions to the class is heavy loaded. You will find you have to do so much more weekly reading for your courses (and you can't skip it like UG, because you'll have discuss it during lectures - at least for my classes)...you'll also have to teach yourself or find additional readings if you're not familiar with a topic. I've taken a few courses where I've had to do a lot of additional reading just to be able to understand and critically participate. Also, the quality and content of the assignments are a lot different. You will have to do A LOT of additional reading in your area and topic for those assignments, and will be expected to use a critical eye on them and it will be about you're synthesis of the literature, not simply a summation (that's the major different for me between ug and grad...you are not just summarizing what you read, you are synthsizing it). I think every student works differently. I change my patterns from working 9-5, Mon - Sat and working strictly at the office...to working for 15hrs a couple days at home, and then do nothing for a few. I have learn that when there is time where there is not much going on, take advantage of it to recharge your batteries, because you will really be required to burn your candle at both ends.

I completely agree with Juillet. I think grad school has changed me a lot and made me see what I value in friends and more confident in myself.

Do you know what I miss most about being in grad school...the 'back to school' shopping...I have no excuse to buy fresh new things

What I look like when I think about dating an undergrad: hehehe...I kid! In all honesty, and I said it on another recent thread on here, my personal life is none of my department's/supervisor's business..UNLESS...it puts me, my work, and/or my school/department/advisor in a compromising situation (e.g., TAing my partner).

You have waited a lot longer than I would have! Like fuzzy said, I would check their website as they might have changed the announcment date. It's not uncommon for dates to be pushed back. Goodluck! Hope it works out for you

I don't have experience with this, but I do want to say that you shouldn't put the weight of this on your shoulders. As the student in that situation, I think a lot of the responsibility is on your mentor/PI/collaborators to check through the work and notice mistakes like this. So, don't be hard on yourself. If the seasoned professonals and peer-reviewers at the journal didn't notice it, then really a student - who is new at writing/publishing/research/etc - shouldn't have this placed on their shoulders. I imagine that there are many papers that are not "correct" that are published...these errors are most likely due to a variety of things (1) human error, (2) purposeful manipulation, (3) lack of knowledge, and (4) time - new methods, theories, programs, etc. I think you're handling it with integrity and maturity. I think a lot of people (not just students, but professionals who have been at this a long time), would just brush their mistake under the table and avoid dealing with it or telling anyone. The fact that you went back, checked it, saw it, and then reported it shows that you have are really great appreciation for academic responsibility. Taking that step, and then going to your professor is the best thing you could do. Lastly, I want to point out that I think a lot of students who take on the weight of publications stress over not making mistakes. I stress over writing and whether I have the best possible citations, the right editing, the right wording, the proper analysis- the proper DATA!! ahh- everything!!! I think we all do our best to make sure the product we submitted is done to our best abilities- but mistakes are going to happen...and I am sure they happen more than we think. So try not to stress about put a lot of thought right now into what could happen...think more about this as a learning experience. Good luck!

This literally made me laugh out loud!!

completely agree!!

Since you said that she also discussed this opportunity with your advisor, I might go to them as well and tell them about your situation. For me, I would not want to burn bridges by over emailing her (a reminder email is harmless, but if you send her another email and she doesn't respond, I might not send her one) so I would ask my advisor, who might generate a bit more spur in her to respond, to email/call her about this opportunity for you to go over there and work for her. There are a number of reasons why she isn't responding- the most likely is she's taken time off like you suggest...however, there could be issues around the funding/placement for you that she is trying to figure out. Before you act, I would talk to your advisor and get their opinion. Best of luck! Sounds like a fantastic opportunity- I am green with envy

The biggest amount of my budget goes towards alcohol...I need it to cope with the money stress! Rent, +1 month rent, plus 1/2 month's rent for damage deposit, hookup fees, gas for moving, food for the friends who move you, books/clothes/school supplies, first grocery run to stock the place, 1st, 2nd and 3rd run to Walmart....then it's the money for the first week of social events and post-social events! You stay up late which means you need more coffee to get through the day (that costs more money, because you end up also buying food on the coffee run) .... I found some unknown seeds in one of the drawers to my kijiji desk find...I am hoping they grow into a money tree!!

It's funny...when I was on my last semester of courses I couldn't wait to be done...I remember the feeling of handing in my last paper and being like "NO MORE COURSE WORK EVER!! YAY!!!!!!" ....now, after a year with no courses and being left to my own timelines, objectives, and goals...I am kind of wishing I had courses! ..*sigh*...the grass is always greener on the other side, right?

Anxieties or nerves? I agree, I don't dread public speaking as much as I use to (I use to pick my classes based on if I knew there were class presentations or not), but I think the nervousness will never go away - at least not for me. I still get a racing heart, sweats and speech the speed of light, it's not as bad as it use to be- but I think I'll always be like that. I think what the professor was saying to me was that even the people who do it all the time still get nervous, and the nervous feelings help them stay on the ball with preparing and being well versed in whatever they are presenting. If you become lax about presenting, I think you would most likely not take as much effort in making sure you practised and prepared. I agree with Fuzzy as well- this is a skill you need to learn, and it's a skill that only gets better the more you do it.

Thank you fuzzy!! Both for the thread and the suggestion!! My desktop is filled are so filled with post-its that the program has become useless! WorkFlowy looks amazing...i like how it can be both a simple list program, but also a great mindmapping tool! I will have to check it out!

THe above post has such great advice! I wouldn't recommend co-TAing. The logistics of it would be hard, and most of all - this is an experience you will want to have for the future, especially if you want to teach. I don't think anyone has warm and fuzzies when they TA and think about having to go into the class to teach. As others have said, the discomfort of speaking in public will probably not go away. I have talked to many people about it. I remember right before I went into my MA defense, I was talking to the chair and she asked if I was nervous, and I said "very! I'm terrified! I can't wait until the day when that goes away!"...her response "I have been doing this for over 30 years. I still get nervous before I go infront of people and when I am up there. When you don't, that's when you have to worry. Nerves keep you on your feet and good at what you do! So embrace it, because it won't ever go away!" ....This is a common feeling that EVERYONE gets- seasoned pros get it! It won't be so bad once you do it a few times, but the buterflies will always be there! I enjoy teaching much more than presenting. In a class of students, you have to think of yourself as the person who is in command- you are there to teach them! You have a handle on the content/knowledge, and are the ruling force!!! (I like to pretend I am the ruler of the classroom and can cut down anyone at any time with a "NO! You are wrong!" kind of attitude...I don't...but in my head I am a fierce lord in the classroom!" anyways....... Go into the classroom prepared and knowing the content. The students will respect you and you'll be surprised at their response- they will think you're some kind of flashy graduate student! Try and create discussion rather than just lecture. Getting people to discuss and talk will help you ease your nerves- but make sure you do it in small groups first, and then convene into a larger group. My experience with large group discussions right off is that you ask the question and no one response...then you're left standing there saying "anyone? No one wants to say anything? ... anyone?" ...then you look like an awkward grad student. Also, add humour and admit if you don't know anything. Student appreciate if you're like "oh, I don't know that...but I'll check it out and get back to you"...they also like it if you can make them laugh- as you appear approachable! I would often start off my classes with a joke or a funny youtube video. It eased my nerves, got the classes attention, and prepared them to discuss. I would take this opportunity as something exciting and fun! Jump right in and take control! And you might find you really enjoy it! Good luck!