Dal PhDer

29??!!! Geez...youz so old, you've moved past "crazy cat guy" onto "British Muesum Artifact"! *sigh*...I'll be there in less than a year!

When I go into my department, it's a ghost town....I wouldn't be surprised if you don't hear back from your advisor until mid-Aug! it's not uncommon for people to be away at conferences and/or on vacation and totally unplug!

It would be really hard to make that shift! And really hard to balance the "this is my degree I want to have a say in what I do" and "this is my advisor I have to respect and follow their opinion" ... I think a lot of students have this issue and find it difficult to deal with it. I know there have been several instances where it took a lot of thinking and consideration about whether or not I follow what I want to do, or follow what my advisors wants. I think it's good to second guess their opinion, because they won't always be right- but it's hard to do that in a respectful way without hurting their ego or coming across as not valuing their opinion. You seem really mindful of how you come across to her and your responses to her...which is great. If you know that you're coming across a bit distant/cold/unresponsive, at least it will make it easier to change that....I recently had an old-time prof tell me "The most important thing for a student in grad school is to always make sure they are making their advisor happy" ...I have to disagree with that a bit, but I do think it sums up the student/teacher relationship perfectly!

Hi there, I think there are many things you need to think about when choosing your courses, and some of them you have brought up: * Is the content of the class directly related (and usable) for your theis/research * Is there an experience/lab/technique that would be good for you to learn/know/experience/understand * Is the professor a potential contact for you for future work * Is the class an early morning class * What is the work load to relevance factor? Personally, i would hate to take a course from my supervisor. I would find it VERY stressful and always feel like I was being graded extra hard (because I had to prove to my supervisor I was an A++ student). But this is just me, I wouldn't like always feeling like I am under a microscope...and I found graduate level courses hard and stressful enough without that added pressure. I might chat to your professor...as he might expect you to take the course if it's directly related to your studies.

Hi TCL, (I am currently drinking a soy chai latte myself!) I am sorry to hear about your problems. it is very frustrating how others can road block us with our work. grad school is filled with these bumps and frustrations. I am in no way informed about your field or really have experience with this kind of situation, but I just wanted to lend you a bit of support with some warm fuzzy "!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!* and comment on your above statement in a general sense. I can remember when I was doing my MA my advisor was constantly complaining that the tasks that his students were doing shouldn't take as long as they were. I think it is common for supervisors who have been out of the nitty gritty hands on componenets of research, to be unaware of how things work, and the time that it takes (the realistic time!) I think this feeling that your advisor doesn't have a realistic timeline for some of your tasks is a feeling that a lot of us have. good luck! I hope things work out!

It is a crappy imbalance of power...and it's also a tiring game of egos!

TakeruK has a great point- if you are funded, you should check with your department and/or the funding agency about your ability to work...it's also a good thing to run it by your supervisor first. It's really interesting the attitudes/views you get on funded students seeking out additional work- it's kind of a hot topic. I also think the 'type' of work you do comes into play, e.g., RA work vs. waiting tables.

a.w.e.s.o.m.e. seriously- best tattoo ever! I am debating another tattoo. The one I would like to get would be visable, whereas my current one isn't. I am really enjoyed reading the perspectives of people on here...I think it's important not only to consider the 'meaning' of a tatoo when you get it, but also the implications/impact that if might have for job opportunitites... i also feel the same way with piercings. I took out one when i started grad school, but still have my nose pierced. I think certain ones are a bit more acceptable...but I do wonder if one day I will have to take out my nose ring or risk being taken seriously. Since I have this thought, i am on the fence about getting the tattoo I want...desire over impact....Ahh!! How would you guys feel if your professor had tattoos and piercings? would you look at them differently?

Throughout my MA and PhD I have held several jobs to supplement my income...however, these jobs have been REALLY flexible and have always been RA work. This RA work has allowed me to determine when I want to put my hours in (and where) as long as the work gets done. I think it is possible to work fulltime on your school duties, TA, and hold a flexible job. But I would be prepared to be honest with yourself and make sure the duties and time commitments are something that you can handle...while money is important, school does need to come first, and you don't want to sacriface that for work.

*sigh*...this time last year I was ending a 3 week vacation in the UK that was added onto a conference I was attending...I was in London at some pub, drinking some lovely ale, eating the most delicious chips, awaiting to see a phenomenal play, and browsing lovely shops...*sigh* ...I was completly oblivious to work and school- not a care in the world.....time to invent my time machine to take me back there!!!!!

I echo this....mind you, i wish this advice was given to me earlier! But as a student, you should really talk to a variety of professors and contact their graduate students. The advice given by the previous posters is excellent, they have nailed it.

Hi There, Thank you for the advice. I guess it's not that he doesn't think I am serious enough for it, I just believe that he might think this. Why I get this feeling is because when his post-doc was applying for an academic position in the department, he told her she didn't have the skin to be an academic and should pursue it. It might just be me, but I get the feeling he feels this way for most of his "woman" students! How should I go about discussing this issue with him? For me, I think the most professional thing to do is let it slide, realize the situation, and in the future if he asks me to engage in writing with him, make it clear (in writing) the authorship. I am fortunate enough to have my fingers in enough pots that by the time scholarship season comes around, I will have 3 additional articles in press (mind you, I am not first author on any of them). As of now, I feel it's best for my career and future to remain on his good side and take a publication hit, then get the publication but burn some 'ego' bridges. As I am not a confrontational person, how might I approach the topic, rising_star? I would greatly appreciate the advice, because I know in the future, if things continue to travel down the path that they are, I am probably going to have to have a few hard conversations with him.

Thank you TakeruK and lewin! I actually feel a bit better that both of you think I did a respectable job! Because I am so non-confrontational, I sometimes find it hard to evaluate a situation and be like "did I do the right thing? Was I too much of a push over?" So it's nice to have the opinions! I do agree with you lewin that the authorship for scholarship comment is completely BS. I know for a fact that authorship matters for the national scholarship that I will be applying to next year. And the worst part was, is their comments this year were that I needed more publications...ahh! BUT- I can only do what I can do. This is all a learning experience, for me and for him. I am glad I brought it up and talked to him. I think it might have shown him (just a tiny little bit) that I am not what he calls "too soft for academics"!

These are natural feelings that all students have throughout their grad school journey. You will have them before you start, and right until the end when you walk up on that stage and collect your diploma. I think these feelings and doubts are what make us successful at what we do. We always feel we are not equipped enough to make it, so we try extra hard to be successful, which really pays off. Graduate school is an exciting experience where you will be met with happy, sad, challenging, inspiring, and exciting times. If you were not prepared and equipped for graduate school, you would not have received an acceptance!

http://ramblingsofaphdstudent.wordpress.com/ Well...I finally did it! I had extra time tonight and thought it would be fun...hopefully I will make it past 1 post...

It's a cruel world..dangling such nerdy material in front of me like that! Some day I will give them props..but today I shake my fist and curse them! If there was some kind of PhD Student Curse you could invoke, I would do that right now.

Personal PhD meme- Finds important textbook online for $0.02 and does euphoric dance in livingroom. Orders it and receives a $75 shipping bill.

I am 100% sure I wouldn't have made it this far if it weren't for swearing, drinking, and the occasional inappropriate behaviour! HOWEVER (there's always a however!): I keep these behaviours to my personal life, and not let it shift into my school life. Graduate school is much different than ungrad and HS....grad school is a job. A full blown, this is your career, you are paving your path, job..JOB. You would not act irresponsible, disrespectful or immature at a job that you valued, wanted longterm success in, and wanted to be viewed as at a serious contributor. I don't think keeping this in mind and acting towards these goals should make you a stiff, boring, and conservative individual- you can still be yourself, just maybe check your filter and ask yourself "is this appropriate"? I noticed that you mentioned that you want to get laid...a lot. My advice- don't poo where you eat. If you're going to be macking on the ladies in your department, be prepared for this persona to get around and follow you for a long time...not to mention that if it goes bad, you will probably feel the heat in a bad bad way. If your main goal is just booty, I would stick to women outside of your department, degree, lab, classes...etc. I think the biggest thing for you to remember is grad school is the time when you start to pave your own path and make a name for yourself. If you want to have your name be a party man that wears his pants on his head- go ahead! That's your choice and your name will take you where you want it too...grad school is what you make it, and at this point, you are really responsible for how you let your community, peers, advisors see you!

OP: All the universities I have been at have had public libraries where there are computer terminals open for use. These computers are almost always connected to some database/server that can allow you to search and read articles. I might start there! I don't dare dip my toe into this conversation because I am highly uninformed and ignorant on this issue ... BUT I WILL!...I truly believe that all government and public funded research should be made accessible to anyone. I have come across dozens of articles in my time that are funded through tax payers' money and are not accessible to the public. In essence, if the project was conducted using funds from the public, then the public should also 'own' the data and have equal access to the information generated from it. That's just my opinion...but what do I know? I would also like to make a law that pets can be taken to your place of employment.....

Glad it helped!

Hi there, Are you looking just strictly to learn how to operate the programs, or also how to do statistics....these are very different things. SPSS is very straight forward with most functions being point and click. I would recommend starting out with SPSS point and click, then move into SPSS syntax writing- I found SPSS very easy to learn and made working in other statistics programs easier as most of them are command/syntax base. You can also find most (if not all) syntax commands on the internet through a google search. I know there are lots of great reference sites for SPSS, STATA and R...I am assuming there would be a lot out there for SAS. I always found that the best way to learn how to use the programs was to sit down with a dataset and ask my own questions. Guided labs never really helped me and often didn't cover important first steps- database generation or data cleaning.

The others have given really great advice. I am sorry you are in this position. A friend of mine was in a similar situation and she kind of let her advisor push her over...she ended up having to dish out two extra semesters worth of tuition...so my advice might be a bit bias, as I saw her go through so much grief. Ok....I think you have an interesting road here. My first question is this: Could your intern supervisor be brought on as a co-supervisor? You mention a committee member, but it seems like you are also really lacking a supervisors role to push things along. During my MA, my committee members really didn't have a say in when I defended, and you want your supervisor to have read and provided feedback prior to your defense- so you are going to want to have someone in your court giving you excellent feedback. As your intern supervisor is really interested in your project and wanting to help you out, perhaps this could be an easy transition for them to move into this position. Do they know you are having as much issues with your current supervisor? As the others have said, you can also try CC'ing your intern supervisor when you email your current supervisor your draft. Maybe say something like "Hello, here is an updated draft of my methods section. Please notice the revision on x, y, and z. I would really appreciate feedback by (I would give them a few weeks), as my goal is to defend in _____". I think you really need to be upfront and clear about what YOU want your timeline to be. You said you have had a lot of support from others in your department...is it possible to ask these individuals to be on your committee? It's always great to have people who are on your side during this process. If you stress to them that you need to graduate at this time, they will respect it. It really sounds like your current supervisor is holding you back, and that's wrong. It certainly happens, but I think you can kindly remind her that you have a timeline and are finished. Most schools have certain dates that you have to defend by in order to graduate. I would tell her the date that you want to defend by so that you don't have to pay for extra tuition fees- and maybe that will light the fire under her. Good luck! Keep us posted!

If you're a spinster at 23, I don't even want to begin to think about what that must make me.....crazy cat lady?

Hmm...this is a really interesting situation. I began thinking that you went from a totally distant uninvolved supervisor, to a very in your face micro manager...and that you're having trouble dealing with the constant reporting back...but maybe that's not it. It kind of seems that you're overwhelmed with the emotional support that she's giving you. I think it's natural to not really know how to act or be a bit put off by it, as most academic environments don't really support the nurturing and 'pep talk' kind of vibe. I have recently begun working with a different group of people that largely focus on providing feedback to medical students and working with encouraging them through tough situations. I've found that these individuals really practice what they preach and are kind of like your new supervisor. It was kind of a shock at first when I started to receive compliments like "great jobs", "we're so lucky to have you", "oh you're going to be amazing at your work when you graduate"...I don't think it's normal for students to really hear those things. I think your attitude towards the 'problem' is good....in my eyes, a good supervisor recognizes that every student is different with their own needs, personalities and work style...for myself, I try and think that a good graduate student recognizes that these same things exist within supervisors. It's nice to see a supervisor be there for their student and have their back! On another note: if you find the constant emails and asking for updates are overwhelming...maybe keep your emails strictly to your work progress (void of personal details and stuff), and maybe don't respond instantly. I think a lot of people can curb some of their social interactions by the cues they receive. These are little cues that are not offensive or rude that might let her know that you're use to a more distant and independent relationship.

**Ahh!! I ran out of votes before I finished!!** Thank you for all the great advice. I have done a lot of what you guys have mentioned. I have asked some of the other students in the lab, and they felt it was out of character and not how they have experienced writing with other professors. The only student that has published with him was his post-doc, but he co-supervises her, so it might be that the other prof pushed for her to be first, or he didn't challenge it at all. Having mulled what I wanted to do over and over in my head, I felt that it was best to approach the topic (only once) and in a very casual and non-abrasive way. During our last meeting we were discussing the edits on the paper and I approached the topic is probably the most awkward and embarrassing way, but I simply said (something to this effect): Me: I hate to bring up this type of conversation and I don't mean to be confrontational, but the authorship on the paper seems to have changed. Based on our original conversation about me gaining more publications, I had thought we agreed that I would be first author (insert a variety of faces where I smile, squint, bite my lip, and turn red) Prof: Oh, what happened to the authorship? Me: Well on my draft it went me, you, prof x, prof y, lab associate. Prof: what is it now? Me: you, prof x, prof y, lab associate, me Prof: Oh, well....someone else must have changed it ***NOTE: this is to my knowledge impossible, as both the track changes edits from the other prof had the authorship this way with no edits*** Me: Oh...okay. Well do you- Prof: (interrupting me) In some fields it's an honor to be last author it denotes being the main contributor to the project. Me: Oh...like a PI being the boss over the lab he supervises? Prof: Yeah. So it can actually be a compliment. Me: Oh, well...I was hoping I would be able to put this in as a first author pubble, for scholarships- to increase my publication record and competitiveness. Prof: They don't look at authorship- they just look at research work. They won't care that you're not first author. Me: Oh. Okay... And so I left it. I got the feeling that he wasn't going to change, nor actually admit that he changed it. I didn't want to push it forward and will just remember in the future tobe really clear about this sort of thing. I learned a lot in this...but I do feel this must happen to a lot of students. I kind of feel he knows I am a bit of a push over (he called one of the other girls in his lab not tough enough to be an academic)...and I get the feeling he gets the same vibe from me.....oy! Thanks for the support! I wish it went better! Hopefully this doesn't happen to anyone else!