1Q84

Hello! I know this thread is pretty specific... I hope that's okay. I heard from OSAP that they disburse $213 a week to students who are studying outside Canada. Is it worth getting? It seems like it might be good to cover some incidental costs and not so burdensome as to be completely overwhelming to repay by the end of the year. Not too bad for interest-free money, right? Any current Ontario grad students studying abroad have experience with this? Yea/nay?

I read this with some curiosity. Is being an endurance athlete part of your program? No snark, genuinely asking. Because if not, then I can understand why you would have difficult trying to live on a stipend that is probably designed for non-endurance athlete students. The question that you ask becomes more interesting then when you think about priorities. Again, location aside, $1300 a month sounds really not that bad. I'm assuming of course that your school has adjusted for cost of living... it just sounds, from this one post, that you're loading on a lot of costs that aren't a guarantee to be compatible with graduate school living... I'm having a really hard time coming to terms with doing an unfunded MA as an international student. I'm not even sure if it's possible without being super independently wealthy.

Always, always just ask the Grad Secretary.

I'll echo rems here, don't feel ignorant at all... you actually did the smart thing by making a thread and asking all your questions at once! I panicked and tried to do all my apps by myself and had a lot of highs and lows, finding out information half way through and being really, really disappointed or really excited by the news. As a fellow MA applicant to English Lit programs, what I can recommend is research as much as possible. For the first half of your app ordeal, it's going to be information gathering. It's never too early to start!

Indeed, they may have even thought that they were doing you a kind service! And as for smiling and thanking them, I agree 100%. I've gotten some very rude replies from professors and when I sincerely apologised for what they perceived was an egregious error, they became immediately much nicer afterwards. I guess professors, like the rest of us, have things that make their eyebrows twitch too.

From what I've observed, the AWA section can be really important for programs that are really heavy with writing (creative writing, literature) but some of the same programs barely even look at it. I think all in all, the verbal will always be worth more and it'd be rare for the AWA to compensate. If I were you, I'd just retake it!

If you have the time and money, why not? It's doubtful you'd shoot below 83rd percentile on the retake... right?

What's Prop 13? Sorry, I'm quite ignorant of CA politics! Also, who in the legislature and congress are the ones passing these asinine laws? Republicans, in general?

All right, it's quite obvious that when discussions of minority come in to play, things and feelings get heated. So I apologize if I said anything to you that was offensive. I wasn't trying to force my "approval" on you, I was trying to say I appreciate your experience and find that mine and many people that I know have it different. I got heated, so I spoke more passionately than I normally do. The last thing I want to do is take part in a minority vs. minority thing. So I'll leave my piece at that and hope we can leave that as water under the bridge. We are all in it together, for sure!

I wasn't being condescending to you. This was, however: And I didn't dismiss your accomplishments. You did. You glossed over it like it was a breeze! It's so utterly insulting to say people who graduate college haven't or will not experience oppression. My God! I'm just flabbergasted. A little world perspective? Please. We had to flee China when Tiananmen Square happened. What's that you were saying about generations of intellectuals being killed? I never advocated stressing yourself out before something happens. I'm saying that some people are born and bred in this society with those insecurities and limitations and handicaps internalized. I'm saying that some people couldn't see past it like you, who made it seem so easy. I really don't understand the vitriol I'm getting for insisting that race and minority are really important and impact people in really serious ways. I'm not trying to be down on people and tell them their life is hell because they're minorities; some people know and live that already and we shouldn't be minimizing that. If you succeeded and live your life to the fullest because you're able to look past those limitations that are set upon you by society, then, like I said, bravo and you should be proud. But don't blame those you left behind for being weaker than you. Again, that's blaming the victim.

It's just so backwards to say that anyone who doesn't have the strength of will to see past the limitations that society places upon them are the ones at fault. This is the textbook definition of internalized oppression. The fault lies with those with prejudice, not for those of us who have to suffer it. I repeat we are at fault for being victims. I applaud your ability to succeed in the face of prejudice, I really do. And I like your message of positivity and am in no way trying to delegitimize your personal story of success. But to pretend that it's just as easy as pulling yourself up by your boot straps and everyone who doesn't is just "setting themselves up for additional stress" is frankly just naive. It's good that you see yourself as it should be: an American. But you know as well as I do that there's probably a majority of people in the country who will see not you, but a host of stereotypes. I'm not into total victimization, I'm being a realist. Unfortunately, the way that society works is that these peoples' perceptions of you will often have a direct and salient effect on your life. These real, tangible issues of power that daily keep some people of minority status from rising up need to be addressed, not de-emphasized. There are millions of people out there that are living the "hurdles" that you speak of and it's not due to any lack of determination on their part... some simply cannot face those odds like you have for a multitude of reasons. To whitewash over all those complexities by saying "Just ignore peoples' perceptions of you and be you! It's easy!" is doing a disservice to the real issues of oppression that people of minority status face. We (a general 'we', not that I'm saying all people of minority status are accountable) need to talk about these limitations and what leads to them instead of just ignoring it and letting people in power do what they will with no consequence.

Apologies, I wasn't being clear. What I mean is this school has a specific international tuition waiver program and the grad director said he would support me for it after I'm accepted and the grad secretary said I wouldn't find out if I received it until after I accepted the admissions offer. That seems a little off right? Oh really? I didn't know you could withdraw. I guess if you can't fulfill the SEVIS form, then that's an automatic rejection anyway. I'm not sure if that would look good on my record though.... if there's a record of that kind of thing?

Yeah, unfortunately this is motivated geographically by being closer to my partner. That may cause some people to look down on me from an academic standpoint, but that's just how the cards fell for me. One of the public schools that has funding for international students is interesting because the results of the tuition waiver will only be made known after one accepts the offer of admission. That seems a little unfair, doesn't it? How can one accept an offer without being sure of funding?

I still disagree. And I don't think you're consciously trying to reduce the issue, but in some ways you are. Anyway, I could go on for paragraphs, but I won't because I don't want to hijack the thread any further. We'll have to agree to disagree, I guess, and I certainly respect your intentions.

What's the fun in diffusing blame?! Sigh. Sad state of affairs that in a state like California, there's no money for schools.

Yes, you should write a new statement detailing why you're suitable for the assistantship. Why would they want to read a pared down copy of your other personal statement? It just reflects poorly on your motivation. I'm confused. Why would you include the school that you're attending in a resume for the school that you're attending? I mean it wouldn't do any harm I don't think but one would hope that you would have better things to fill up that space.

Okay, so I have some pretty crappy circumstances in that professors have very much encouraged me to apply to their programs ("Top 10" schools in California), which has been galvanising, however they have also been very forthcoming about the fact that absolutely no funding is available for international students. Should I still apply? I do plan on trying for some (unlikely) scholarship funding but if on the off-chance I get accepted to those schools, I wouldn't be able to go anyway for lack of money. I think the only reason I still want to apply is to prove something to myself, like okay, I am still in this game if I got an acceptance from the school. It may be a waste of time and money for me, though. Also, how likely is it that a school might suddenly and magically have funding later on in the year? Do budgets change that drastically? Maybe the professors say that they couldn't fund me now but who knows how things will look in April 2013? I'm really torn here.

Oh wow... okay if you can do that, I should be able to live on a shoe string in LA I don't know, it's a little harder for me as me and my partner are no where near marriage so I would feel bad "utilising" his income for 3 years haha. Thanks... this made me feel better That's guts! I really mean that. I already feel terrified going back to school at my age...

Yeah, I'm going to give it some time. I'm told this (and most of summer) is the dead period when you're not supposed to email profs. I'll give it one more shot in the middle of September and then let it go!

Right and I disagree. I'm only speaking for myself, of course, not for the OP. I know you said you weren't making a comparison and that you don't know the minority experience, but stating that "but I think you should feel a bit comforted that these feelings you have might be due to the fact that you're just a grad student, and we all have those feelings." is reductive and is making a comparison. I'm not trying to be confrontational or start a fight. I merely find it borderline insulting to bring up some universal student insecurity as a "comfort" for the vastly different experiences of ethnic/racial minorities in predominantly white environments. Yes, absolutely, every student will have some feeling of insecurity and having to prove themselves when in grad school. Is that relevant to the scrutiny that many, if not all, ethnic minorities must face in those institutions? Not really. It's strange that you start off by making the requisite statements about not knowing minority experience but then by the end, your rhetoric starts sounding somewhat "colour blind". Statements like: "grad students are prone to feeling they need to prove themselves- regardless of the 'stereotypes [that] have been foisted' on them." really, really rub me the wrong way. It's here that you're, again, making comparisons, and I vigorously disagree with that.

With all due respect, I don't think that's an accurate comparison. The weight of an entire society's (negative) perception of your race and the pressure that one would feel to supersede that negative stereotype is not equivalent to the normal pressure of performing and achieving in academia. ETA: To the OP, I hope that you find a good balance between your own expectations and goals for yourself and what may be forced upon you by your environment. Although I'm not in the exact same position, I also often catch myself strictly regulating my actions because of whatever stereotypes have been foisted on my race... and it SUCKS when you realise you're regulating yourself in that manner.

I don't know. You said that the prof. has done this sort of thing to other people too. In my experience, people who are that scatterbrained and irresponsible with advice in the first place tend not to take kindly to being called out on it, no matter how polite or firm. I think her email to you bears that out. I would apologize for what she perceived as "not trusting her" or going behind her back or whatever nonsense, and then whenever you need to deal with her in the future, seek clarification from others ONLY over the phone or in person so that there's no paper trail that can be forwarded or used to your disadvantage. Seriously, the politics of academia and, by extension, any office is messed up and highly hierarchical. Attempts to talk sense into people in high positions of power when you have little to no leverage is almost always going to end badly for you and it's not worth the risk.

Grrr... the article is only for subscribers. But the photo caption says enough, I guess. I hope all works out well for your brother! Is he already in the system or he's applying now? My dream job is in California too... well, once I get my doctorate, that is. Should we be blaming the feds or is this Jerry Brown's fault? I need someone to blame, damnit! But yeah, this election seems particularly fraught with really nasty political rhetoric. I get the feeling that it's coming from both sides. I'm gonna have to do my best to keep up with it, however.

So, opinions on the November elections? I'm no expert on contemporary American politics (or any, for that matter) but most CSU schools say that their enrolment will depend on the results of those elections, so it affects me in a big way!

I should add, however, that pretty much everything that I've read has recommended that you don't mention any mental health issues. Universities like to know they're taking someone aboard who is stable and won't cause trouble, as terrible as this is. So in explaining your low GPA in your SOP, just leave it as brief and to the point as possible without mentioning the depression. Sucks, I know.