Doing a PhD with a 2 year-old and a newborn...

[juilletmercredi]

Keep in mind also that most PhD classes are in the evening...so you scheduling will be tight and you will need to invest in extra help with the kids or daycare after school.

 

This is certainly not true everywhere.  In both of my departments, the vast majority of doctoral classes.  In my 3 years of coursework, I only had one class after 6 (I think it was 6-8 pm), and that's because it was an overflow section after a required course unexpectedly filled up.  I actually suspect that at the majority of PhD programs, most classes are during the day between 9-6.

 

That's not the negate the advice that scheduling might be tight, though, or that you may need to hire extra help after school.  If you are in the sciences you may be expected to be in the lab after school hours.  In other fields it's easier to work from home or anywhere there's a computer.

 

Whether or not you will make enough to live fully funded on a grad student stipend really depends on your needs and where you end up.  Some places in the U.S. have a lower cost of living than others.  For example, a lot of universities are in small college towns (like State College, PA; West Lafayette or Bloomington, IN; or Ann Arbor, MI) or rural/suburban areas where the cost of living is relatively low.  A family of four with reasonable stipends (like say, 2 x $25,000) could probably reasonably get by in those areas if they lived frugally, especially since your children are old enough to go to school and won't need full-time daycare.  Even some larger cities in the South and Midwest, like Columbia, MO or Atlanta, GA, can be relatively low in cost of living.

 

But if you got into grad school in New York, San Francisco, Seattle, D.C., or Boston, for example, you may find it harder to live on two doctoral stipends.  This is especially true if your stipends are lower than $25,000 and definitely true if they are below $20,000.  It's not impossible, but it will be difficult.

[Francophile1]

wanted to reply back. I have heard that in humanities definitely most classes are after 4pm however this really depends on the program as the previous poster mentioned.

 

And I would also agree that your PhD money would go a longer way in a smaller town/where things cost less. I am in NY..and it is definitely tight!

[Meanyus]

Our Communication Studies program has a few classes that meet for 1 hour 3 days a week but a vast majority are 5-8 or 6-9 PM. Good thing my wife is the one who does the schedules at her work!

[J. R., MPPA]

I'm moving my family to Dallas so I can start a PhD program in Public Policy and Political Economy.  I have an 8 year old type 1 diabetic and a 7 month old baby.  My wife is a stay at home mom. 

 

It's not going to be easy, but it's good to see that other people in the same boat are achieving success in their respective programs.

[Lisa44201]

I've got a 6 year old and a 3 year old. It really can work!

[ProfLorax]

I'm so happy this thread exists! My partner and I are hoping to get pregnant this summer. However, because these things are inherently uncertain (who knows if it will happen right when we want it to happen?), I have still been submitting proposals to conferences for next year. Many of these conferences will be when (I hope) I'll be pregnant or right after I have had the baby. 

 

Anyone have stories about attending conferences while pregnant? Or having to back out of a conference because of pregnancy? Or going to a conference within a few months after the baby is born? 

 

For the last question, I'm especially curious how new mothers balance the demands of nursing with travel to conferences.

 

Thanks, all! 

[crazyhappy]

Proflorax, I have attended two conferences with a baby.  I brought the baby as well as someone to help me.  I would attend sessions while my helper watched the baby, and my helper would meet me after each session so that I could feed the baby.  It worked out well for me, and no one seemed to mind.  Good luck!

[ProfLorax]

Thanks for responding, crazyhappy! It's brilliant to bring a helper, and I imagine my mom or my partner would be happy to do the job. Glad to know it's possible! 

[reinhard]

16k is not enough, it barely supports yourself.

[olekaygee]

I started my PhD when my son was 4 months old. In retrospect I would have liked to have waited until he was about 9 months old. I'm part-time and in the UK, so it's all research based except for professional development courses, so that aspect is fairly flexible. Also, there's not the attached teaching so no worries about that schedule but. Think if there had been it would have been more difficult as a mom. My partner was able to work his schedule such that I could get in the study hours needed. My son also does a lot of hours at nursery now at 3 years old. It does get rather stressful for us at times, but it is totally doable.

[ed2122]

This is an encouraging thread. I just (as in yesterday!) got accepted to my top choice PhD program. I am older than the average applicant and will be 29 when I start the program. Meaning I will be 35 or older when I finish (most finish the program in about 5.5-6 years). I don't want to wait until then, or even until my dissertation year, to have children, but I'm very nervous about the prospect of balancing a baby and grad work. The program I will attend requires a 1st year and 2nd year project with different faculty, and you TA all semesters except your first and your last two. But my partner is not in graduate school/academia, and will be able to contribute more financially towards child care and everything. I was thinking maybe I could swing having a baby in the summer after my second or third year (assuming I can actually manage to time it that wel!). It sounds like it's definitely do-able even if no one in my program has done it before!

[PsyDGirl]

Any moms here? I'll be considering starting a family while doing a PhD--how do these things fare for mothers?

[PsyDGirl]

Hello HappyCat

I am a mom of an almost-2-year old and a 4 year old. I just finished my MA and will be starting my PsyD soon. Life as a student/mom has been challenging to say the least. I haven't slept a full night in the past two years and although my husband is "supportive" all household, and children activities fall in my lap. That being said, I love school and feel like it's way easier than my job as a mom. The point is that if you want something bad enough- you will make it happen

[crazyhappy]

I second, PsyD Girl.  I'm a mom to 5 young children, and I find school vastly easier than being a mom.  While my sleep has suffered, I almost feel like it was easier working on my MA as a mom than it was working on my BA before kids because I was forced to use every spare minute so I could never procrastinate.  I was still able to be on school boards, the PTO, and be room mother, so it is completely doable if you want it.  I actually enjoy school as an opportunity to get some adult conversation .