Is anyone else worried that they won't be cut out for grad school?

[spider-man]

After reading more about grad student experiences, I'm getting worried that I won't be cut out for it. It doesn't help that I'm procrastinating on an essay right now when I have two other ones due in the next few days. I'm worried that I'm just not cut out for such an intense workload, and I'll end up failing. Kind of hoping I'm not alone in this. I applied for a bunch of PhD programs and now I'm having doubts.

Edited December 3, 2019 by spider-man
clarification

[JoePianist]

Yes

[justacigar]

Ah, @JoePianist, always short and sweet and to the point. 

To expand, I think it's a natural part of the process to feel inadequate, nervous, or doubtful. I tend to be an anxious person in general and this whole process can certainly amp up those feelings. However, underneath all my anxieties and uncertainties, I know why I'm doing this and what my scientific values are, so I push through and persevere. It's important to keep checking in with yourself to make sure this is what you want, and remind yourself as much as possible why you are applying in the first place. Just remember, you don't have to go to grad school, or pursue this career. You might get interviews and decide it's not the right path for you, and thats okay. But don't let your dream die just because you are afraid or nervous!

[imemine]

I had MASSIVE imposter syndrome early in this application cycle, and it still rears its ugly head from time to time. In my case, I kept comparing myself to other people and doubted whether my qualifications were impressive enough given the competition. Ultimately, though, it's important to remember that most people also feel like they're just BSing their way through life and trying to look like they know what they're doing! The people who you think are "cut out" for grad school also doubt their abilities, but they follow their passions anyways and don't let their fears stop them. Everybody else is scared too! Besides, if you are admitted to a program, your PI believes that you are absolutely capable of handling a graduate workload; if they're the experts, might as well believe them

[CowpokeMT]

It's totally normal to worried about whether we can actually succeed in a PhD program. I would like to share with you the four stages of competence, and how I made sense of where we are and how we should proceed. This is copied and pasted from wikipedia.

1. Unconscious incompetence

   The individual does not understand or know how to do something and does not necessarily recognize the deficit. They may deny the usefulness of the skill. The individual must recognize their own incompetence, and the value of the new skill, before moving on to the next stage. The length of time an individual spends in this stage depends on the strength of the stimulus to learn.^[5]

2. Conscious incompetence

   Though the individual does not understand or know how to do something, they recognize the deficit, as well as the value of a new skill in addressing the deficit. The making of mistakes can be integral to the learning process at this stage.

3. Conscious competence

   The individual understands or knows how to do something. However, demonstrating the skill or knowledge requires concentration. It may be broken down into steps, and there is heavy conscious involvement in executing the new skill.^[5]

4. Unconscious competence

   The individual has had so much practice with a skill that it has become "second nature" and can be performed easily. As a result, the skill can be performed while executing another task. The individual may be able to teach it to others, depending upon how and when it was learned.

As applicants or new graduate students, it is likely that we are transitioning from unconscious incompetence stage to conscious incompetence stage. We consistently reflect on our own abilities and characteristics during the contemplation and application processes for a new career, and this is when we start to become more cognizant of our shortcomings and what might prevent us from succeeding. The process of self-reflection can cause a wide range of responses such as self-doubt, anxiety, self-denial, etc. Our natural negative bias also lead us to focus more on what we cannot do than what we are capable of, which makes this process even scarier. Also, currently we can only have a vague sense of what we should accomplish in grad school because detailed expectations differ between programs and faculty members, we cannot pinpoint what exactly needs to be done to improve our competence. 

However, I believe that graduate programs are expecting the applicants to be incompetent to function as independent scholars or there is no need for people to attend graduate studies. I think the goal of PhD education is to help us realize what to improve and assist us in making these improvements and becoming competent. I agree with @justacigar and @imemine's point that the most important thing for us is to understand what fuels our passion and what we want to achieve in our lives and careers. I guess this is why "goodness of fit" is valued so much in the admission process, because we can benefit the most from the program only when our goals and ideas of competence align with the training goals of the program. Insight and clarity are key components to our careers and lives in general. When you are in doubt, try to remind yourself what got you this far, and what helped you to decide making this leap.