Let's commiserate about things

[agatheringrose]

I have the same kind of problem but it's not only my family but mentors as well. They all seem so overly confident about my prospects. My family naively thinks I'm going to get into all the programs, but my mentors tell me that I will get into multiple choices. When it comes to my family, I keep trying to explain to them the reality of graduate admissions and that I would be happy just to get into one program. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate their blind confidence in me. I've managed to keep my expectations somewhat tied to reality, but I fear they (especially my mentors) will be disappointed when reality smacks me in the face and the actual results come in.

And, FWIW, I am definitely using the GC as support. Reading about other people's worries, concerns, and, in some cases, neuroses not only makes me feel better but also distracts me from my own.

Mine are kind of mixed like that. Originally, when I discussed the chances with my mom she was horrified. On the other hand, my recommenders/references have all been fairly positive. My friends, meanwhile, are all on the positive 'I'll somehow get into all my top choices brigade'--which is highly appreciated but unlikely. I really love the blind confidence...but I'm expecting that reality smack and have already braced for it for the next few months.

[katerific]

I find that I oscillate between feeling pretty confident about my chances to feeling ridiculously insecure. A lot.

[paigeski]

I find that I oscillate between feeling pretty confident about my chances to feeling ridiculously insecure. A lot.

Agreed!! I either feel super confident or feel I will not get accepted at all...It changes frequently.

[natsteel]

I find that I oscillate between feeling pretty confident about my chances to feeling ridiculously insecure. A lot.

Same here. It's like living one day in the positives thread and another day in the rest of the fora.

The subjective nature of the whole process makes it so that what most of us are experiencing in terms of alternating between self-doubt and self-confidence, constantly speculating about uncertainties, etc... has become nothing less than a rite of passage on the way to doctoral studies.

Edited January 6, 2011 by natsteel

[Zouzax]

Agreed!! I either feel super confident or feel I will not get accepted at all...It changes frequently.

same here! glad to hear we're all in the same boat.

[eklavya]

Agreed!! I either feel super confident or feel I will not get accepted at all...It changes frequently.

same here! glad to hear we're all in the same boat.

i had the EXACT feeling till i got my two offers in last week of December. as unbearable and distressing the waiting period is, the sweeter the good news will be!! just wait it out, you all will get in. it's all karma man

[Tiglath-Pileser III]

My greatest fear is being admitted into a PhD program and not having the financial resources to relocate to the school. 2010 was a very hard year for me.

[natsteel]

My greatest fear is being admitted into a PhD program and not having the financial resources to relocate to the school. 2010 was a very hard year for me.

I think about this all the time especially considering I will be moving myself, my wife, and 2 young boys.

[lechatgris]

I think about this all the time especially considering I will be moving myself, my wife, and 2 young boys.

This is a very real problem. When I started my MA, I just grabbed a bag of stuff, shoved it in my car, put everything else in storage, and drove to my new apartment 3 states away. It was 2 months before I'd saved up enough for a moving truck and plane ticket to go back for my furniture, clothes, books, etc.. I still shudder every time I see an air mattress.

This would be immeasurably more difficult with children. My friend moved just in time for school and her husband and daughter followed after about a month. She accepted the full loan amount offered to her and, once the school payed her, used most of it to move her stuff and family across the country.

This time around, I have my husband with me. He is already researching where to start job searches in all the places to which I've applied so that he can send in resumes as soon as I get an accaptance.

[tls]

me too. i struggled financially transitioning into and during my ms program. this time around i am planning to save a chunk of money before i move. i'm going to move in with a friend next month, cutting my rent in half. i'll save all of the money i would have spent on rent and have that go towards moving expenses and the first semester of school.

it feels great to do this, but i realized that moving out of my apartment with the purpose of saving for grad school was a huge leap. this means that i am committed to going to a program even before i get in anywhere. it's exhilarating and nerve-wracking at the same time!

My greatest fear is being admitted into a PhD program and not having the financial resources to relocate to the school. 2010 was a very hard year for me.

[NadaJ]

This time around, I have my husband with me. He is already researching where to start job searches in all the places to which I've applied so that he can send in resumes as soon as I get an acceptance.

My husband has as well. We've even looked at preschools for our daughter. It helps that my family is in the same city as the program I've applied to, but, we have to figure out what to do with our house. We bought it almost three years ago, and the value has depreciated so much...but that's another thread. I am excited to live in a real city again, if not in 2011, than 2012.

[coffeecoffeebuzzbuzz]

I had a horror of horrors moment today... I just figured out that I had put the wrong name of the school in the TITLE of my Academic Statement of Purpose. There is was in giant letters... "Graduate goal for University of XYZ" when it should have said "XYZ State University"... oooh bad bad smack my forehead moment. Two schools exist with this name and they are rivals with each other. I notice this over a MONTH after the deadline. Ugh. Doom Doom Doom. This school was my first choice... Am I SOL?

[Tiglath-Pileser III]

I had a horror of horrors moment today... I just figured out that I had put the wrong name of the school in the TITLE of my Academic Statement of Purpose. There is was in giant letters... "Graduate goal for University of XYZ" when it should have said "XYZ State University"... oooh bad bad smack my forehead moment. Two schools exist with this name and they are rivals with each other. I notice this over a MONTH after the deadline. Ugh. Doom Doom Doom. This school was my first choice... Am I SOL?

Not necessarily. It depends upon how acute the readers are to that rivalry. Mistakes like this certainly don't help. But they also won't usually sink an otherwise stellar application. So, relax. What is ordained will be.

[coffeecoffeebuzzbuzz]

Not necessarily. It depends upon how acute the readers are to that rivalry. Mistakes like this certainly don't help. But they also won't usually sink an otherwise stellar application. So, relax. What is ordained will be.

Thanks, I am trying not to freak out too much. To add to my snafu sort of day I also figured out that all but two of my applications had the wrong department name in the heading (not nearly as bad as the wrong school!). Ugh... All though I now feel better about applying to nine schools this time around.

Out of curiosity what was your "consolation prize" for in terms of grad applications?

[Tiglath-Pileser III]

Out of curiosity what was your "consolation prize" for in terms of grad applications?

My consolation prize was a MA at a very prestigious university. Not quite what I wanted since I was applying for the PhD, but it wasn't a complete rejection either. Basically, I would consider a consolation prize any offer that's less than the brass ring. A "qualifying year" before admittance into the PhD where you'd have to reapply the following year might also be a consolation prize--you didn't get in, but you weren't left out in the cold either. Another example might be being admitted to a program other than what you applied for. My sister applied for a graduate fine arts program in the field of ceramics but was admitted into a "textiles and integrative decorative arts" program instead. Consolation prizes are a in-between state between accepted and rejected where some strange things can happen.

[Zouzax]

does anyone else watch the clock and email the entire day, then breathe a sign of relief once the clock hits 5 pm? Like ahh -- now I can be free from excessive email watching and nail biting ... until tomorrow, that is .... maybe its just me

[Bison_PhD]

does anyone else watch the clock and email the entire day, then breathe a sign of relief once the clock hits 5 pm? Like ahh -- now I can be free from excessive email watching and nail biting ... until tomorrow, that is .... maybe its just me

No, it is not just you. My wife keeps telling me that I need to turn off the email alerts on my phone b/c it is stressing me out. But what she doesn't understand is that NOT knowing immediately when an email comes in would be much worse.

Also, this is my second time through this hellish process. I have recieved one interview and this makes me confident. But, everytime I get confident I get this wave of anxiety b/c I remember how overconfident I was last time around. I know that my application is much better than last round and that I didn't miss it by much last time around. But, the anxiety is still there, and it will be until I hear form a few more schools.

Ahhh... I feel better.

Edited January 10, 2011 by Bison

[lab ratta-tat-tat]

Bison-

This is also my second time through this hellish procedure, and my Significant other tells me to turn off the alerts on my email and to stop checking my email constantly.

What's your story- in regards to re-applying and what research areas are you interested in within neuroscience? Also, where are you applying?

Good luck, being a 2nd time applicant does suck, but it seems much more realistic that an acceptance letter will come from the re-applying process, for various reasons.

[katerific]

I've found that I've become a bit jumpy with the email alerts on my phone. I know it's still a bit too early for me to be hearing anything, but who knows! (Well, they COULD email me about something missing.... )

[A. sesquipedale]

Ditto.

Same here. The positives thread will be my demise.

[lexicana]

In my worst moments, I have this image in my head of the adcomm reading my application and laughing. "Ha, ha, how did she ever think she could get into this program" they say. It's awful, I know!!!

[Bison_PhD]

Lab Rat-

Well, since the last application season I have been working as a RA in an lab at Vanderbilt. This is to correct a relative weakness in research experience from last time around. It SHOULD help tremendously, but I've been confident before. I am applying to mostly cog neuro programs @ Vanderbilt, WashU, Emory, U of Chicago, Maryland, Virginia and MIT. I've got an interview at Virginia and that help ease some of the anxiety since they didn't even call me last year, but we'll see what the next few weeks hold.

What about you?

[lab ratta-tat-tat]

Bison-

I also did the same thing. I had a lot of research experience in cog neuro but wanted to go into neuroscience, so I have been an RA for 2 years now in a molecular biology/neuroscience lab to alleviate that deficit. I also feel it should help but then again, I was confident before. I applied to U. of Utah, U. Montana, UCSF, UC irvine, etc. but I really want to get into Utah, it is the last one i am waiting to hear back from and it has the last/latest deadline which means they haven't even begun to look at apps.

Congrats on the interview, is that your top choice??? A colleague of mine applied to Emory last year. She has 1 year research experience and was a physiology major and got in no problem at Emory, from what I have been told, it is all about fit- or mostly.

[Bison_PhD]

Lab Rat-

It is hard to say what my top choice is, they all have different strengths. last year I got 2 interviews and even got accepted to one, but during the interview process I learned that it was not a good fit. It is just so hard to get a good feel for a program just from their website. I've tried to make sure that if I get accepted to any of the programs that I applied to I will be happy. Good luck on your apps.

BTW, what lab is you're colleague in? Or, what is her research focus?

[lab ratta-tat-tat]

Bison-

her focus is on cancer biology. I am not sure what lab specifically, she went off the radar after she moved there this summer (which is of course acceptable). She is currently doing rotations but that is all I know, I wish I could be more help.

Also, your statement about not knowing if it is a good fit until you get there is very true. 2 years ago I applied to what I thought was the program of my dreams, when I was extended an interview, I hated the program, not so much the state but the program was awful, the students seemed so depressed and all they did was complain about the politics within the program. When the school offered me admission I turned it down and sadly, that year it was my only invite!!!

Although the waiting game sucks, it is better to wait for a better position in a better program versus taking the first offer that comes along, even when it is transparent that it is not a great choice.

Good Luck!