overflowing gratitude

[YA_RLY]

I have experienced the good fortune of being admitted to a program that I'm very excited about. My "dilemma" is that I'm not sure how to thank everyone! I have seen some posts on thanking LOR writers before, and I have already given thank you cards to my letter writers. Now, having been admitted, I want to say thanks again and let them know of my final decisions... but I have a few different circumstances, so please hear me out!

Here are the groups of people I want to thank.

my parents: I'm not sure how I could ever repay them for all of their support. They say it will be repayment enough when I get my PhD, but I wish I could do at least a little something special for them in the meantime!other family and friends: I've had a lot of extended family and close friends cheering me on, and I'd like them to know what they meant to me (~15 people)grad students: I worked with several through different research labs & projects, and they gave me good advice, read over applications, and in some cases were the ones who wrote LORs on behalf of instructors (~5 students)professors: for giving me opportunities to research with them, giving good advice, writing LORs, etc. (4 professors)
One concern is that a professor I want to thank (an LOR writer) is now most likely my graduate advisor. If I give him a gift, I don't want to look like a brown-noser. I also don't know this professor well enough to get a (small) gift that's sure to be liked. In fact, the not knowing well enough is an issue with all of the professors.

Also, some professors and graduate students were exceedingly more helpful, gracious, etc. than others, and I'd like to feel that I was somehow giving greater thanks to people who helped more/gave more of their time, etc.

I'm so humbled by and grateful for these experiences during the application process. I know I have ~5 more years to PhD, but I feel that simply being accepted is off to a good start, and I'd like to thank the core people who helped it happen. I appreciate your suggestions.

[rsldonk]

When I finished my MA, I gave each of my committee members a six pack of their favorite beer. They were more than cool with it and it didn't break the bank.

[natsteel]

I am in early American history. I think am going to get a fountain/dip pen, ink, and some parchment and write each of my referees (all in my field) a letter thanking them for all they've done (much more than just writing my LORs). Then I'm going to seal them in a parchment envelope with an old time stamp in wax just like they did in the 18th century.

[wtncffts]

Well, I haven't been accepted anywhere yet, but I kind of feel bad that I'm much less expressive than you guys. When I got accepted for an MA three years ago, I simply sent e-mails expressing my gratitude, nothing more. I will probably do the same this time. Maybe it's because I wasn't close in a personal way to any of my recommenders, but I would frankly feel silly doing anything more. Plus, this time I'm across the country.

[Moxie42]

You know what I love? Edible Arrangements! I once gave it to a grad student who helped me out a lot. It might be kind of cheesy, but I secretly think they're really cool.

[qbtacoma]

Handwritten cards which you have made yourself.

[rsldonk]

You know what I love? Edible Arrangements! I once gave it to a grad student who helped me out a lot. It might be kind of cheesy, but I secretly think they're really cool.

and really damned expensive.

[Moxie42]

and really damned expensive.

Yes, so only get them for the people you really want to thank.

[YA_RLY]

Handwritten cards which you have made yourself.

I like this idea, but how can I do it so that it looks sophisticated? I don't want my cards to turn out looking like they were made by little kids.

[the once and future grad]

Or nice (store-bought, handwritten) thank you notes with a homemade gift (like cookies you baked)? That can't really be seen as brown-nosing, can it?

[qbtacoma]

I like this idea, but how can I do it so that it looks sophisticated? I don't want my cards to turn out looking like they were made by little kids.

It can be relatively simple. Go to an art store or stationary store and buy a few sheets of nice patterned paper and premade blank cards. Paste the patterned paper in the card and a smaller blank piece of paper on top of it for you to write a short note on. You can also get ribbons, etc if you want to get really fancy. Here is a site that might give you some ideas.

[YA_RLY]

It can be relatively simple. Go to an art store or stationary store and buy a few sheets of nice patterned paper and premade blank cards. Paste the patterned paper in the card and a smaller blank piece of paper on top of it for you to write a short note on. You can also get ribbons, etc if you want to get really fancy. Here is a site that might give you some ideas.

Thanks! Those are good card examples!

[Medievalmaniac]

Thanks! Those are good card examples!

You can certainly make your own Edible Arrangements, it's not so hard to do - just a PITA.

This is really a personal thing - it's all dependent upon your degree of interpersonal connection with the people you want to thank, your resources/ how much you have to spend, your comfort level in giving gifts, etc. etc.

I think with professors, if you are unsure as to what to get for them but are set on giving, a $20.00 - $25.00 gift card to Amazon is always appropriate.

With other people - honestly, who does NOT love home-baked cookies, or pie, or whatever? What's your specialty? I have presented my (guy) friends who helped me out with a giant platter of homemade nachos on a Friday night, my girl friends with pies/cookies, and my professors with homemade mead. They were all more than appreciative.

[YA_RLY]

Thanks Medievalmaniac, I like these ideas!

Anyone have an idea on thanking parents?

You can certainly make your own Edible Arrangements, it's not so hard to do - just a PITA.

This is really a personal thing - it's all dependent upon your degree of interpersonal connection with the people you want to thank, your resources/ how much you have to spend, your comfort level in giving gifts, etc. etc.

I think with professors, if you are unsure as to what to get for them but are set on giving, a $20.00 - $25.00 gift card to Amazon is always appropriate.

With other people - honestly, who does NOT love home-baked cookies, or pie, or whatever? What's your specialty? I have presented my (guy) friends who helped me out with a giant platter of homemade nachos on a Friday night, my girl friends with pies/cookies, and my professors with homemade mead. They were all more than appreciative.

[firefly luciferase]

Thanks Medievalmaniac, I like these ideas!

Anyone have an idea on thanking parents?

How about treating them to a nice dinner at their favorite restaurant?

Edited February 10, 2011 by firefly luciferase

[communications13]

Thanks Medievalmaniac, I like these ideas!

Anyone have an idea on thanking parents?

I plan on thanking my parents by moving out of thier house (again)

I think parents might appreciate:

if you cleaned thier house as a surprise, made them a really nice dinner, a nice bottle of wine/liquor if that's their thing, get thier car(s) washed, if your mom is anything like mine...one christmas I backed up her computer for her, or send them out to a community play or concert.

[jergensultrahealing]

I think my parents would be really pleased if I told them that we're expecting... That would make a really good gift for them. Alas, we aren't quite there yet.

[YA_RLY]

I think my parents would be really pleased if I told them that we're expecting... That would make a really good gift for them. Alas, we aren't quite there yet.

Aww. Yeah, I'm most definitely not there yet!

[everygirl]

When you think of a gift for your professors, do you feel weird about it? You want to do something nice, but do you have to convince yourself that it's normal, nice and not inappropriate?

Go with your gut feeling. You want to do something nice, but keep within the boundaries. This gift might be the last thing they associate with you, and you don't want to give something inappropriate that might shadow your years of work with them. The next time you see them, you could be at a conference as a colleague! I wouldn't want my former professors thinking..."That was the kid who gave me the lingerie." Extreme example.

That being said, I want to do something nice for my professors too. Something a little beyond the norm, because they went beyond the norm for me.

One of them is a serious runner and I used to see her frequently on campus in workout clothes. (She actually owned workout clothes with the school logos, entire suits, and I used to poke fun at her for it.) So I thought maybe I'd get her another school T-shirt and silk screen one of the fundamental questions of our discipline. I'm comfortable with that, it's not too expensive, and thoughtful, i think.

For the other professor, I thought maybe a nice book. He doesn't have much of a sense of humor. I would feel uncomfortable doing anything more.