What are you going to do immediately after you read that rejection letter?

[everygirl]

I am posting while drinking, as I just got back from a six hour bitch session with other grad school hopefuls, and of course cheap wine was involved. I came back home and checked the results page, as I am wont to do every free second I have.

I just saw the thread "What were you doing when you got your acceptance?" so I thought I'd start a complimentary thread.... What do you plan to do immediately after you get rejection letter?" IF you get that rejection letter from that incredibly competitive, top school in your dream city and superstar professors? Thereby crushing all your girlish dreams?

Because I'm unoriginal and staring at a bottle of wine, if I see that email on my Blackberry, I think I'll DRINK! No matter what time of day it is. Maybe I'll go with something horrible and dry tasting, because I'll never want to drink that wine again after that moment.

What about you? What will you do if you see that email/snail mail sitting in your mailbox?

I say... drink! Rounds for everyone!

[Neuronista]

I got rejected last week from then-most-wanted-school. I was sitting in the living room with my family when I was checking my e-mail on my laptop. I said: OK, bad news everyone (...) school rejected me. They went: awwwwwwwwwwww. Mom: are you upset, honey? Me (lying): no.

Then I read the e-mail to them out loud.

I really felt bad for 2 days. The depression came gradually. I spent the next 2 days crying. I went to Facebook and "unliked" all the pages related to that school, but I keep reading the rejection letter over and over again.

To be honest, I felt that the rejection was well reasoned. I'm really not a good fit for the program because only very few faculty members have interests similar, or even close to mine. But I liked the school (prestige), and I wanted to live in that city.

I'm still waiting for decisions from 3 more schools, 2 of which are more highly ranked. I had was interviewed by one of them, felt good about it, but no reply yet.

The funny thing is that I still check the status page of the school that rejected me, thinking that the decision might change somehow. Stupid I know.

I'm worried, I want to be admitted this fall so badly. Let's just hope for the best and that I'll get admitted to all 3 left schools. Good luck to you all!

[yrallih]

So far, I've only gotten one rejection from a top five school (and I'm still anxiously waiting on the other two schools). I read the letter two or three times before it really sank in. Then I told my husband that I didn't get in and read it out loud to him. I was proud of myself for keeping it together. Then I angrily threw away my printed-out application to that school and started googling "getting rejected from grad school" (and other related topics) for about an hour. Then I started reasoning that getting rejected from one school meant getting rejected from all schools. Then I took a long, angry run with my dog. I never run that fast! It was kind of cool. Then I got home and drank a few beers and started feeling sorry for myself. Then my husband and I went to a bar, and I cried in public while he patiently and sweetly talked me down from my freak-outs. Then I came home and cried some more and numbly played a video game. I convinced myself that my character kept dying because I'm "too stupid for grad school". It was a pretty spectacularly bad evening full of feeling bad about and for myself.

I felt better the next day, and even a bit better the day after, but I still can't help but to think that I'm not getting into my number one choice (a number 25 school), no matter how irrational it is to be convinced of this. I am now obsessively checking my email and the grad cafe for any information. I'm trying to stay positive and focus on my school work (which is proving difficult).... Bleh. I wish a rejection hadn't been the first reply to come! It was a real blow to my confidence. I would have taken it a lot better if I had KNOWN I was already in somewhere else.

Edited March 7, 2011 by yrallih

[JTJ2011]

I applied to 2 programs, and geography weighed heavily in my decision. I applied to Georgia State's MA program in Political Science, and I recently applied to the University of Nebraska-Omaha's MA program in Political Science as well. Yeah, I know the assumption is that you should make certain that your potential department is strong before you make any decision on where to apply. But I have to live in the city that I study and conduct research, and the thought of living another 2-4 years in Iowa was too much to bear. Yes, Omaha is right across the river from Iowa (LOL), but it is 6-7 hours west of my current locale, and it seems to be a fairly stable metro area that's not the biggest, but not the smallest metropolitan area as well (800,000 residents vs. 375,000 residents in my current locale). On the other hand, Atlanta is a great international city that dwarfs Omaha by comparison, as far as socioeconomic diversity's concerned, with a wonderful transportation network to get me to and from various areas for research, and has a great climate and cost-of-living for an area of its size (5.0-5.5 mil.) to boot.

In any event, you asked what would I do once I received my rejection letter. I can imagine myself opening my mailbox soon, pulling out an admissions package, and running into the house and tearing open the package like a kid on Christmas Day. Then I imagine receiving a letter in the package stating "Thank you for applying to Georgia State's/Nebraska-Omaha's Master in Political Science!! Your application was strong. Unfortunately...", by which time a huge smirk will start to come across my face, and my heart will absolutely sink. Then I'll fool myself into believing that I didn't want to study and live in Atlanta to begin with, and that Omaha's just a larger version of my home metropolitan area. I'll knock down a bottle of Mountain Dew, and begin laughing to myself about the entire process. Then reality will sink in: I am a 33 year old man that has been living at home with his parents since graduating with my BA in 2007, and that my dreams of moving away and studying in a field that I love will have been vanquished. Then I will just move on with life, and try again next year.

[Ahab]

I haven't heard from any of my schools yet. My birthday is later this week and I'm expecting rejections/acceptances to flow in any second. Last year I struck out on Ph.D applications. This year I've only applied for terminal M.A. programs.

How this all turns out is anyone's guess...

Alcohol will definitely be purchased in advance.

[xactly]

i'll shed one dramatic tear that sparkles across half the room as it longingly reaches for the ground as if tear and ground had once been lovers. death be the tear in a suicidal yet beautiful splatter.

no, seriously, i'll drink myself into a stupor for a couple of days and life will move on! power to us for reaching for the sky.

[The Man Who Is Thursday]

Definitely had a few beers after getting rejected from the dream school. Ah well. Only a few more rejections to go! We're breaking out the brooms!

[benafflicted]

having a bit of makers mark right now because i'm late on the recieving end of a notification from the school i am currently attending. i'm doing full research with two seminal faculty members and have three letters or rec. from the department & still haven't heard back with an admissions decision. sob indeed. if you don't admit your own students i fear you've done something wrong in the training. or perhaps it's me. sigh.

Edited March 13, 2011 by benafflicted

[eco_env]

having a bit of makers mark right now because i'm late on the recieving end of a notification from the school i am currently attending. i'm doing full research with two seminal faculty members and have three letters or rec. from the department & still haven't heard back with an admissions decision. sob indeed. if you don't admit your own students i fear you've done something wrong in the training. or perhaps it's me. sigh.

for some reason many schools don't like to accept students from their own school.

[HP33]

I so appreciate this board and have enjoyed reading everyone's comments on this topic.

First I'll curse myself for not studying longer for the GRE, then bitterly blame my university for not helping me "grow" to the satisfaction of adcoms, then I'll remind myself that I transferred from a smaller school that was probably better for such a growth experience, and I'll be sad/mad that I transferred.

After some rationalizing about how it's for the best, I'll start fantasizing about the high-paying job I will surely get for being such a rockstar student with several internships, despite the fact that such jobs are scarce and many of the best favor strong quantitative backgrounds.

Then: Jack Daniels, pathetic/desperate life planning, dramatic looks in the mirror, and at some point I'll go to sleep.

I think getting in and having to turn it down because of 0 funding might be worse. That would entail certain economic/parents-not-paying-for-college resentment in addition to the above.

It's my spring break this week so I've taken off work as well, hoping to avoid a public breakdown as I hear from each university. Waiting is making it a lot harder to work on these two 25-page essays that I've hardly started.

[closetgeek]

I planned on making a paper mache' version of the rejecting school's mascot -- and then burning it. But I've only gotten email/website rejections, so theres nothing to mache'. Plus, the logical, reasonable, more sane me knows that once I made that paper mache' mascot, I would likely become fond of it, even start to love it, making my rejection worser still since I would never get to meet the real thing.

[everygirl]

When I started this thread, I thought I'd bump it up by writing what I did after I got a rejection letter. Well, today it happened -- unofficially rejected from my second choice school, my first notification. What did I do? I went out to a really expensive dinner -- most expensive place in the city, on top of a tower at sunset-- had even more expensive wine, and then gorged on Mcdonalds, canceling out whatever class I acquired. I am now having cheap wine that cost less than the milk in my fridge...

Oh well, it happened, most of us have to live with at least one rejection. I'm hoping it's the last, but I'm bracing myself. Good luck out there, all.

[surprisecake]

Dream school rejected me. Wasn't prepared for it at all. I didn't know it was physically possible to cry so much.

BTW PIZZA DIDNT HELP.

[theflyingmufin]

My first rejection wasn't too bad. It was a long-shot school and I knew my chances were slim, so when I received the notice in the mail I opened it, read the 'we don't want you' part, and threw it in the recycling bin. No fuss.

I did have a moment of silence for my lost application fee (may its travels far from the safety of my bank account be varied and fulfilling).

I had an interview last weekend at my dream school. If I end up receiving a rejection letter after coming so close, I might come apart. I'll start by sending my mom a text message, and then getting pissed about whatever platitude she sends in reply, regardless of the fact that she's being genuine. I never cry, but I can imagine a long sobbing session, complete with alternating irate, cursing bits and desperate self-pitying bits. I will curse the world for its unfairness and wonder why I have to be so tormented, with the universe just dangling my dream tantalizingly close in front of me, luring me into dreams of success and happiness, and then snatching it away with a cruel "HAHA!" to leave me rotting in despair and wondering why I even tired in the first place. Then I'll try and move on to positive thoughts about other schools, but I'll keep coming back to the fact that none of them will even compare to my dream school, and that I'll end up living like a vagrant and hating whatever grad school I end up in because it's just not the same.

And then chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. Or cake. Or donuts. Or possibly chocolate cake donuts.

Later on I'll get over it and move on. But it might be a long, hard road to get there.

I gotta agree w/ cocohlik, you really capture it wonderfully.

I also had an interview at my dream school and am wait-listed. If I don't get it I'll try to forget about it, and it could take a whiiiiile. So..... Close....

[theatrehippie]

I had interviews at all of my top choices, though I haven't heard from them yet. These programs are also the most difficult to get into, and I'm kind of shocked that I managed to get an interview for each of them. But that said, I'm terrified that it won't work out (my first choice will accept 7, interviewed 19, and had over 60 applications). I will become a zombie until I get home, at which point I will lie on the futon watching TLC with my dogs, and then send my boyfriend on a quest for coffee cake that resembles the kind I used to get in LA when I was up all night working on papers. Since I'm in Texas, and Ralphs (where I got the coffee cake) doesn't exist here, it will be a formidable challenge.

[eco_env]

Dream school rejected me. Wasn't prepared for it at all. I didn't know it was physically possible to cry so much.

BTW PIZZA DIDNT HELP.

Be happy- You got into IU! I'm jealous.

[pinot noir]

Just got my first rejection... I'm a goin' drinkin'... and I'm irish... kiss me

[Owlie]

I got the first one last week, the same day I had an interview. I was expecting it, because I'd heard nothing from them (and I knew what the interview dates were). I got back from the interview, read it, sighed, and then clicked "delete." Then I called my parents to let them know that they'd be getting a hard copy of that e-mail. I've been dealing with bouts of feeling completely inadequate since then, because while I knew it was a stretch to begin with (and then I knew I wasn't getting in when I'd heard nothing by February), getting that e-mail made it real.

If I don't get into one of my top choices...I'm probably going to feel like a miserable failure of a human being, then be extremely bitter, then try to figure out what I do for another year. There will be Bailey's and chocolate in there somewhere.

[shmuey]

Found out both while at work. The first made me angry for the reasons I was given (this was via email from a counselor...I have yet to receive an official letter) and the second actually made me cry (fortunately I'm the first into work, and I really was confident I'd get into this part time program.) This made me feel less like a man, and made me even more upset lol. Oh well, still waiting for rejection #3.

Edited March 24, 2011 by shmuey

[gradmau5]

The first rejection letter I received...I felt meh. It didn't quite hit me. When the 2ND one came, then it hit me pretty hard. I had JUST gotten home from a long shift on a Saturday. What a crappy weekend that ended up being.

Still waiting for one more admission decision......let's hope it has good news.

If it is another rejection letter, I might lose it....for a lil bit. :/

Then try again. <3

[Sheepi]

I got rejected by 5 schools in a row, lol. The first one wasn't so bad, but by the fifth one, I was ready to die. I have a 4.0, and I'm terrible with rejection because of it. I felt like all of my work as an undergrad meant nothing and that I had completely wasted my time. To feel better, I came here and was kinda glad to see the other rejections (sorry guys; misery loves company, lol).

Granted, my GRE scores were poop and I pretty much applied only to top schools in my field, lol.

Then the last letter was an acceptance and it was like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. No decisions to make now.. I just have to go. I feel much better. X_x

[luvedance21]

I received my rejection letter from my top school the night before my birthday. Good timing right? I called my mom who didn't answer (while holding back tears) and then called my boyfriend sobbing and begging that he come over immediately. I cried on my bed curled up in a ball....which was very helpful. Let it all go. And then when my mom called back she tried to make me feel better.

However, the one thing that did finally make me feel better was shredding the letter. I took the letter and then envelope and ran it through the shredder before I went to bed so it wouldn't be in my house on my birthday.

Very therapeutic.

That was really the only rejection that bothered me. I got 2 others, one kinda sucked cause it was the first school I had heard from but I didn't cry or anything, and the second one I knew I wasn't going to get in anyway. But the good news was, 3 days after my rejection, I got my first acceptance. And I've gotten 2 more since then and a wait-list.

Oh...and I forgot to mention...because of the rejection I forgot to eat dinner and didn't realize it until I woke up super hungry the next morning.

Edited March 25, 2011 by luvedance21

[MoJingly]

I'm not sure if I will cry. I seem to lack the ability to cry. But I will probably immediately send an acceptance email to the school that wants me. Then, I will get drunk on wine and have an impromptu dance party in my living room, whether or not I am alone.

[farnsworth]

Most of my rejections are in now and they do not bother me as much as they did at first. If/when the rejections from the schools I am on the wait list come, then I will have a bad couple of days.

[brassgod]

I received all of my rejections while at work. My reaction can be summed up as: Meh.

I was accepted to my bottom choice with no funding too.

Rejections: 5/8

Acceptances: 1/8

[Veta]

After my first three right in a row (and during spring break, of course), I bought a cake and wrote on it exactly where those universities can shove it... After the first few, however, I've just been shrugging it off.