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Something to think about


phdinmistakes

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I found this list online. I think its worth thinking about while deciding what to do:

http://spinnergal.bl...rad-school.html

Hmm, well. I'm not a fan. I guess it's good to hear negatives so you can be prepared, but I propose this.

1. Back Trouble - You will develop back trouble. But then, you will take five minute breaks from hunching and you will start stretching and you will be fine.

2. Weight gain - this might not even happen. You will be stressed, but you will find that exercise will counteract that.

3, Mental Health Problems - you will have moments where you are depressed and anxious. But that will happen no matter what you do with your life. You'll exercise (see #2) and you will be fine.

4. Relationship trouble - maybe. But if it's meant to be, then it will work out. And, again, you will be fine.

5. No more hobbies - ok, yeah, that's just insane. Of course you will still have hobbies.

6. Acute bitterness - if this happens and persists, then you have more things to worry about than grad school. It's not going to happen to most of us.

I know this might have been posted as a devils-advocate situation, but I'm not eager to entertain things that are unrealistically negative. Sure, there will be negative things, but I'm pretty certain that grad school isn't the hell that this blog made it seem. If it was, nobody would do it and it would have disappeared a long time ago.

I'm also sure that a LARGE majority of the people on this site know what they are getting into. And guess what? They are still doing it.

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Yeah, honestly, people who write this about their college experience probably aren't going to enjoy graduate school that much:

Did we learn anything?

Absolutely not.

But I still remember it as some of the most fun I have ever had in my life.

(http://spinnergal.blogspot.com/2011/04/life-lessons.html)

Everybody has different expectations, but I really don't think grad school is for the type of person who doesn't believe they learned anything in undergrad. Just sayin'.

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Not to mention that a lot of those side effects can be attributed to *any* time consuming career, the first two to any type of desk job for sure.

Edited by Eigen
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Yeah, honestly, people who write this about their college experience probably aren't going to enjoy graduate school that much:

Did we learn anything?

Absolutely not.

But I still remember it as some of the most fun I have ever had in my life.

(http://spinnergal.bl...fe-lessons.html)

Everybody has different expectations, but I really don't think grad school is for the type of person who doesn't believe they learned anything in undergrad. Just sayin'.

I wouldn't put too much weight on any one person's opinions about graduate school. But I would put even less value on the opinion of a student who admitted not learning anything during their undergrad and partying a majority of the time.

Doesn't sound like the typical grad student at all so why would we care about their overly negative opinion?

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I agree with MoJingly. Grad school is not nearly as dire as this. Ive never had back problems, because I make sure to work out 4 days a week. Ive had some weight gain, but that was because I was drinking too much wine & eating chocolate like it was a 6th food group.

Any mental health issues were surely not triggered by grad school. They were due to the fact that I'm crazy. My therapist in the States was making some headway with me, but I came to Europe & Ive been crazy as ever. I blame it on my therapist.

Well, if I had any hobbies I surely would have time to do them. Sadly, I spend my free time playing mindless games such as Diner Dash & Sally's Salon on my iPad. Once, I decided to take a language class at a private school. I had plenty of time to do that. So, I think if I weren't playing so many video games I would have time for an extracurricular.

The only thing I will agree with is the relationship trouble. Between classes, working full time, writing my thesis, and the things mentioned above, I barely have time for a relationship. I have a boyfriend but he's been away for a few months, he'll be back in 3 weeks and Im actually worried about him coming BACK. I really don't see myself having time for him. It's difficult to split time between a relationship & grad school. 

Edited by Zouzax
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The relationship aspect can be difficult, but I think it's a matter of setting priorities. My wife's just finishing the first semester of her PhD and I'm just finishing my second year. There are plenty of times where it's hard to make time for doing something together- either I have an experiment running late, or she does, or she has a test coming up, or I'm in the middle of drafting a paper... Or when we do have time, we're both tired and don't really feel like *doing* anything. But I think it's well possible, and I'd say our relationship is stronger than it was when I started.

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Just to throw in a comment.

Since being laid off in 2008, I've had a lot of time to think about the whole cubicle existence. And let's be honest here, for the majority, it's the cubicle or graduate school. After 20 years of working in various cubicles, I was let go. I was simply discarded. The ugly truth is that no one cares if you live or die aside from a small number of people called friends and family.

Stress eating? I've got news for you, people. Every office I ever worked in with one exception had a vending machine. And people would go up to it at all times during the day. Why? Because they really, really, really needed a Snickers bar at 10:05 a.m.? No. Because it was a surrogate mommy. It would kiss the boo-boo and make everything feel less awful for a few minutes.

Bad back? Most cubicles are so poorly designed that the physiologists can go in and point out exactly what will cause what problem. "Oh, that keyboard? You'll have carpal tunnel syndrome eventually. That chair? Can you still walk? Amazing. You should be in agony by now."

Who had a window? Again, with two exceptions, I was always in a cubicle with no windows.

Yes, we'd all like to have ideal lives. I would love to live somewhere charming and relaxing in a beautiful house that I refinished myself, which I was able to do because of my staggeringly successful career as a writer. But that's not reality. You don't go to graduate school because of what it will do to you. You go to graduate school because you want to get more out of it than it will take out of you. Hiding out on-campus for five or six years in this economy? Absolutely. I'll take that in a second. Why? Because by the time I'm approaching the end of my Ph.D., I will be able to get ready for going back into the water.

I have realized that I have no interest in striving to achieve corporate success any more. It took a long time to figure out a very simple thing: Look at the people who are at the top of corporations. Look at the managers. How many of them, honestly, would you want to spend any time with? Most of my managers were either venal pigs or grunting oafs. The few decent, humane, intelligent ones were always forced out.

So maybe grad school is terrible. Maybe relationships suffer for it. Why do I end up thinking that's more of a case of "the relationship was going to hell already, and -- thank God -- grad school came along as something that could be pointed to as an excuse"?

Sorry for a rambling kind of post. But I think most of us have realized that all the rules are gone. Many of us, no matter how careful we are, are going to end up arriving at old age in poverty. I for one would like to arrive there at least able to say, "Well, I didn't sacrifice my ENTIRE life to making other people wealthy."

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I agree with MoJingly. Grad school is not nearly as dire as this. Ive never had back problems, because I make sure to work out 4 days a week. Ive had some weight gain, but that was because I was drinking too much wine & eating chocolate like it was a 6th food group.

Any mental health issues were surely not triggered by grad school. They were due to the fact that I'm crazy. My therapist in the States was making some headway with me, but I came to Europe & Ive been crazy as ever. I blame it on my therapist.

Zouzax, I have a feeling that if we met, we would quickly become very good friends. biggrin.gif

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Just to throw in a comment.

Since being laid off in 2008, I've had a lot of time to think about the whole cubicle existence. And let's be honest here, for the majority, it's the cubicle or graduate school. After 20 years of working in various cubicles, I was let go. I was simply discarded. The ugly truth is that no one cares if you live or die aside from a small number of people called friends and family.

Stress eating? I've got news for you, people. Every office I ever worked in with one exception had a vending machine. And people would go up to it at all times during the day. Why? Because they really, really, really needed a Snickers bar at 10:05 a.m.? No. Because it was a surrogate mommy. It would kiss the boo-boo and make everything feel less awful for a few minutes.

Bad back? Most cubicles are so poorly designed that the physiologists can go in and point out exactly what will cause what problem. "Oh, that keyboard? You'll have carpal tunnel syndrome eventually. That chair? Can you still walk? Amazing. You should be in agony by now."

Who had a window? Again, with two exceptions, I was always in a cubicle with no windows.

Yes, we'd all like to have ideal lives. I would love to live somewhere charming and relaxing in a beautiful house that I refinished myself, which I was able to do because of my staggeringly successful career as a writer. But that's not reality. You don't go to graduate school because of what it will do to you. You go to graduate school because you want to get more out of it than it will take out of you. Hiding out on-campus for five or six years in this economy? Absolutely. I'll take that in a second. Why? Because by the time I'm approaching the end of my Ph.D., I will be able to get ready for going back into the water.

I have realized that I have no interest in striving to achieve corporate success any more. It took a long time to figure out a very simple thing: Look at the people who are at the top of corporations. Look at the managers. How many of them, honestly, would you want to spend any time with? Most of my managers were either venal pigs or grunting oafs. The few decent, humane, intelligent ones were always forced out.

So maybe grad school is terrible. Maybe relationships suffer for it. Why do I end up thinking that's more of a case of "the relationship was going to hell already, and -- thank God -- grad school came along as something that could be pointed to as an excuse"?

Sorry for a rambling kind of post. But I think most of us have realized that all the rules are gone. Many of us, no matter how careful we are, are going to end up arriving at old age in poverty. I for one would like to arrive there at least able to say, "Well, I didn't sacrifice my ENTIRE life to making other people wealthy."

Oh cripes, I've been laid off more times than I can count, and nothing is more stressful (well short of getting a terminal disease or a death in the family,) than navigating the job market, staying employed, and constantly worrying about the next round of layoffs. If you work freelance, you have to worry about getting stiffed by clients. I think one of my low points was being in China, working 70 hours a week, while my employer went bankrupt back in the US. I didn't know if they were even going to be able to pay for my plane ticket back, and as soon as I got back, I was laid off. Back trouble from sitting too much as a grad student? Try getting electrocuted on the job.

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I find it amusing that the title is "7 Worst Parts of Grad School..." but she only lists 6. I wonder how she scored on the GRE Q? :P

Anyway here's my feeling about the whole thing:

(1) As MoJingly said, I have learned to start stretching out frequently, not to mention exercise on a regular basis. My back has given me less trouble in the last 6 months than it ever has.

(2) Yeah, I gained 10 lbs. my first year in grad school. But if you consider that I gained 50 over the 7 years preceding grad school, that's really not too unusual. (I've lost 7 of those 10 pounds since I started exercising.)

(3) Mental Health Problems? I've had those all of my life. I learned to cope with them pretty well on my own before grad school, and in grad school I also have access to !FREE! counseling which has helped even more.

(4) I filed for divorce while in grad school. But my marriage had been on the rocks for 5+ YEARS prior to my filing the paperwork. The reason it finally happened while I was in grad school? For the first time, I could see that I was a worthwhile person, not the grumpy bitch my ex made me out to be. I finally realized that the problems in my relationship were not all my fault, and that I had done everything a reasonable human being could have done to fix them. Grad school helped my self-esteem.

(5) No more hobbies? As Zouzax said, it's a time management thing. I still have hobbies. I hike. I dabble in photography. I do woodworking. I do charity work. I am an officer in a campus club. I read. I do jigsaw puzzles. Who doesn't have hobbies? I feel sorry for that person. All work and no play make Jack a dull boy--and I think "dull" here means not only boring, but not bright in regards to thinking. My hobbies help my mind attack research problems from a new angle.

(6) Bitterness is a choice. I have met people who have suffered incredible amounts of tragedy and injustice in their life and are not at all bitter. But my soon-to-be ex-mother-in-law, who has had a lot of stuff handed to her on a silver platter for most of her life, is very bitter. You can choose the attitude with which you face tough situations. If you are still bitter, it's your fault.

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