TripWillis Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 I'm not really sure if this is just for ranting and stress relief, if it's for posting great student lines, or if it's for posting positive and inspiring stories. Maybe all three? But let me kick this off. Funny student paper line: "That part of the book really irradiated me." Intolerable student question (from today): "How late is tardy?" R Deckard 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rubyrunner Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Oh, man. I have so many, but my personal favorite from a student paper: "He put his wife on a petalstool." (pedestal) Thankfully, this is distracting me from the fact that I have not heard anything from Davis yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bdon19 Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Not from my own experience, but a friend of mine who's a writing tutor told me this one yesterday: "right from the gecko" (i.e. "from the get-go," which should probably not be used in an academic paper, anyway...) eriksmegs and R Deckard 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fredngeorge Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 (edited) I had a student who wrote an entire paper on how he wanted to be a "raper" when he grew up (translation: "rapper"). Memorable moments: "I really enjoy raping." Edited February 16, 2012 by fredngeorge Two Espressos, R Deckard, transcendental and 2 others 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
troutbum Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 I recently graded a paper arguing for the legalization of municipal, rather than medicinal, marijuana. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TripWillis Posted February 16, 2012 Author Share Posted February 16, 2012 I had a student who wrote an entire paper on how he wanted to be a "raper" when he grew up (translation: "rapper"). Memorable moments: "I really enjoy raping." Oh man. So much potential for great material in that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jywayne Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 I recently graded a paper arguing for the legalization of municipal, rather than medicinal, marijuana. I had a student once write a paper like that and put his works cited page in green color. I gave him a point or two just for having the gumption to do that. and...and...and... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hermia11 Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 Love this thread. My favorite is a student's unfortunate misquote from Mrs. Dalloway in an essay - "What a lark! What a plunger!" Still laughing, and this was a year ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transcendental Posted February 16, 2012 Share Posted February 16, 2012 One of my favorite lines from a student paper was from my friend and office mate's class. The student wrote: "When human beings landed on this planet, they encountered such tragedies as the potato famine." I have no idea what the paper was about (this was a RhetComp paper...), but I will cherish that line forever. When we got papers in, I'd always get excited to hear what this student had written. I've also had a student write that some countries experienced "nutritional shits," and something about "t-shits." Also had a student use the word "boobs" in a paper describing the appearance of a model in an ad. Germaine123 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TripWillis Posted February 16, 2012 Author Share Posted February 16, 2012 Most common truism in student papers: "America is the greatest country on Earth." BUT, to go further, let me quote a wonderful variation on that truism that made me smile: "America is the greatest country in the universe." Wow. A bold, original thesis if I ever heard one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeremiahParadise Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Via email, I agreed to meet a student for a paper conference on short notice. Her response? "Thnx boo." Awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
koolherc Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I'm dying over some of these :lol: . Ahh... the gap between native language use and normative writing. Please add more. I can't get over "Thnx boo." I was raised in the Bronx so that one really hits home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surefire Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Excellent! A few from some Law and Society courses (note: Canadian court system context). - "Juries act as fact-fighters" (I think that the student meant "fact-finders") - "This illustrates the redundancy of preliminary herrings" - "...and anyway, the only reason that lawyers like plea bargaining is because it speeds up their day so they can leave early and go golfing with the judges". And, the example that I continuously cite for new TAs, when they wonder if they are getting through to the students. This one is a "laugh to keep from crying" type of response... - "Personally, I think the 6% wrongful conviction rate is an acceptable statistic. If 100 people are convicted, and 94 of them actually do it, then in the grand scheme of things, the other 6 have to take one for the team, so to speak. Yes, I do realize I would be singing a different tune if it were myself or a family member in that 6%, but let's hope it never happens, right?" Take one for the team...*shudders* It wouldn't be so bad if the majority of these students weren't going on to BECOME LAWYERS! Anyway, I try to keep that example in mind when I'm trying to cultivate critical thinking with the undergraduates. transcendental and Historiogaffe 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TripWillis Posted February 17, 2012 Author Share Posted February 17, 2012 It wouldn't be so bad if the majority of these students weren't going on to BECOME LAWYERS! Thankfully (as with English professors) the majority of them won't be able to get jobs. At least the ones that are that flippant about things. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anxious_aspirant Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I teach high school junior/seniors. Glad to see these ridiculous comments/errors persist across the board - I sometimes wonder how they'll make it (or how their essays got past undergrad admissions standards). I had at least 5 students, on a recent final exam, attribute an excerpt of John Winthtrop's "City on a Hill" to Winston Churchill. One said Churchill gave the speech during the "British Revolution." Also: "Roman sculptures showed many similarities to Greek sculptures, such as arms and legs." "Individual struggle against society because there are forces acting against you, in Bartleby's case they so happened to be supernatural." eriksmegs 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aubergine Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I had a student who wrote an entire paper on how he wanted to be a "raper" when he grew up (translation: "rapper"). Memorable moments: "I really enjoy raping." Oh man. This reminds me of my all-time favourite false friend moment. Slightly off topic, as this wasn't a student, but rather, my francophone boyfriend on his best behaviour as he meets my mom for the first time. While all cooking dinner together, he turns to me and very sweetly asks, "would you like me to rape the carrots?" I almost died laughing. One of those instances where substituting the French verb really doesn't work. (râper = to grate) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabz Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 These are great! I once had a student write, "I had to hold my composer." I laughed so hard picturing her carrying around this musician... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perrykm2 Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I thought this thread was going to be serious, and now I am dying with laughter, especially at "I want to be a raper." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabz Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I've taken to quoting Princess Bride on my student's papers. "I don't think this word means what you think it means." coffeeplease and transcendental 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
anxious_aspirant Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 Sometimes it's worse...it's not a cute malapropism, but a terrifying opinion. A class of mine, studying fantasy & childhood, was watching the tail end of Pan's Labyrinth today, and a kid told me, "I think the Captain isn't bad at all. He's just doing what he has to do." *Ahem.* The fascist captain who kills children? The merciless torturer? One of the most remorseless characters in recent film? Half the point is that he's entirely gratuitous with violence...That's right, folks. I might be educating a future dictator. To lighten up a bit, though, I had a teacher who used to share the anecdote of a student who wrote: "This author won the Poet's Surprise." As in, Pulitzer Prize. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
darjeelingtea16 Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 One of my students was writing about Julius Caesar and wrote: "Then Brutus got all up in Caesar's face and shanked him. Caesar was all like 'et tu, Brute?' which pretty much means PARTY FOUL." Might be one of the best things I've read, ever. haha Also, I hope you all know about this lovely site: http://shitmystudentswrite.tumblr.com/ surefire and R Deckard 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tabz Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 One of my students was writing about Julius Caesar and wrote: "Then Brutus got all up in Caesar's face and shanked him. Caesar was all like 'et tu, Brute?' which pretty much means PARTY FOUL." Might be one of the best things I've read, ever. haha Also, I hope you all know about this lovely site: http://shitmystudentswrite.tumblr.com/ Okay that one got me laughing out loud. I love it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JElliott Posted February 17, 2012 Share Posted February 17, 2012 I actually keep a file of student quotes from my students' essays and those that my friends send me. I read them to my mother over the phone. A few favourites: "Eating breakfast can change the way an individual functions throughout the day. It enhances how they speak, how they act, and most importantly how think." "Life consists of us as humans to do things and to complete tasks." "In war, not anybody can be perfect. But love does." "When I think of my dream house I think of what everybody thinks of when it comes to dream houses. I think of a house that is unique to me and does not look like any other house around." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
koolherc Posted February 18, 2012 Share Posted February 18, 2012 This thread walks a fine line, and somewhat unsuccessfully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TripWillis Posted February 18, 2012 Author Share Posted February 18, 2012 Yeah, I know what you mean. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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