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Post-Acceptance Stress & Misc. Banter


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I just got my second acceptance (at BU).

I just want to say: after the second one it feels more real. After getting in at Amherst, my reaction was more like, "Oh man, no matter what else happens, at least I know I'm not working in a grocery store next year!" But after getting in at BU, my reaction is more like, "Holy shit I got in to a fuckin literature PhD program!"

I guess after having one, it was easy to write it off as a fluke. Now I feel like my work is worth something and it's exciting to know that more than one department wants me there B) (<-- sunglasses because I'm excited)

That's exactly how I felt when I got into CUNY Grad Center. I honestly thought the Buffalo had made a mistake or something.

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I just want to say: after the second one it feels more real. After getting in at Amherst, my reaction was more like, "Oh man, no matter what else happens, at least I know I'm not working in a grocery store next year!" But after getting in at BU, my reaction is more like, "Holy shit I got in to a fuckin literature PhD program!"

I completely agree. The first acceptance was more relief than excitement. For the second, I was so excited I couldn't come up with anything intelligent to say to the DGS. And, having been accepted now to two of my top four choices (rejected from one other, still waiting for the last), I'm much less concerned about the remaining offers than I was between the first two. Now, my biggest stress is how the hell I'm going to afford moving cross country, and whether I can find roommates that don't listen to dance music all day and night.

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I have had a lot of post-acceptance stresses. I got three rejections (two implicit) after getting three acceptances which killed some of my confidence a bit. But mostly I'm just so thrilled I got in anywhere after thinking I'd be rejected everywhere. The phone conversations with professors are the worst, though. I have social anxiety issues that are particularly exacerbated over the phone so it's always a struggle. I think I've gotten most of them out of the way, though, and they've gone pretty well.

And visiting weekends! I have my first one coming up next week and I get nauseous every time I think about it. I'm so terrified of messing up somehow and having my acceptance revoked, even though I'm pretty sure that could never happen.

There is also some anxiety about the decision I'll ultimately have to make, but I figure I'll wait until I see the schools and speak more personally with faculty and grad students before thinking about that too much.

Sskdjfnkeysmash.

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For the second, I was so excited I couldn't come up with anything intelligent to say to the DGS. [...] Now, my biggest stress is how the hell I'm going to afford moving cross country, and whether I can find roommates that don't listen to dance music all day and night.

I definitely sounded like a baboon on the phone. The DGS was like, "We're really impressed with your work and excited to work with you." I completely shit the bed and my response was something like, " :wacko: It feels really good to hear you say that :huh: ." I couldn't come up with, "Thanks, that means a lot." Nope. Feels good to hear you say that. :mellow:

And maybe we'll both be in the Boston area! Would love to get to know some you folks on here.

Edited by Stately Plump
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I'll jump on board and agree with TripWillis and StatelyPlump and athousandlemmings (and others, if I've missed 'em) with the immense relief of getting a second acceptance. Granted, the financial package offered with the second acceptance wasn't nearly as awesome as the first (Stony Brook offered me an additional fellowship in addition to the stipend package), but it feels great to know that two programs think I'm at least somewhat capable of doing the adult scholarly thing.

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Marlowe, we are going to be very, very good friends should we ever meet. I have choice words for all the things Duke-related.

The fact that you are still capitalizing the name means that you still have some work to do. Agreed, we'd probably be best buds. What year did you graduate?

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That's good. The ad-comm chair said he would be keeping in touch via phone. Thanks for letting me know. Did you get in? Where did you end up going?

I did end up getting in but chose to go to another school for various reasons that I can outline in a PM if you're really interested. If your avatar is any indication, we probably have very similar research interests.
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I just got my second acceptance (at BU).

I just want to say: after the second one it feels more real. After getting in at Amherst, my reaction was more like, "Oh man, no matter what else happens, at least I know I'm not working in a grocery store next year!" But after getting in at BU, my reaction is more like, "Holy shit I got in to a fuckin literature PhD program!"

I guess after having one, it was easy to write it off as a fluke. Now I feel like my work is worth something and it's exciting to know that more than one department wants me there B) (<-- sunglasses because I'm excited)

This. My first one was like, "OMG guys, I have a future!" The second was, "Wow, someone thinks I'm good enough to come straight from undergrad and do this shit for realz." And the third was like, "Whoa. You like me? You really, really like me? I guess I did do something right, after all. Huh."

Such a weird process. Such weird emotions.

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it feels great to know that two programs think I'm at least somewhat capable of doing the adult scholarly thing.

Ditto ... now to convince myself that I'm capable of that.

I definitely sounded like a baboon on the phone. The DGS was like, "We're really impressed with your work and excited to work with you." I completely shit the bed and my response was something like, " :wacko: It feels really good to hear you say that :huh: ." I couldn't come up with, "Thanks, that means a lot." Nope. Feels good to hear you say that. :mellow:

And maybe we'll both be in the Boston area! Would love to get to know some you folks on here.

Yea, I think I thanked her about 50 times in 20 mins :o but she was really cool, talked to me about doing her PhD at Berkeley (about an hour from where I'm from) and the weather adjustment from CA to Boston. I also found it really encouraging that she talked about my personal statement in detail, mentioning what different professors liked about what I had to say, and invited me to specific classes (giving me times and everything) for my visit. Vindication, thy name is Tufts.

And ya, it's looking like a bunch of people on here will end up in the Boston area, so when it's all said and done it'd be nice to have a GC Boston takeover :ph34r:

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Here's a way to really drive yourself crazy: many/most PhD programs have a "current grad students" section where you can read about the people who are currently studying. After you make your choices, you may find yourself looking at the departments you turned down or didn't get into and thinking about what life would have been like.

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Because I can't stop dwelling on this. <_< I wonder if this is what everyone refers to when they say "department politics" at Columbia? I know the (non-GC) source from whom I directly heard this, something a friend said her adviser said (because said adviser had a friend whose been teaching at Columbia for a very long time), was also to referring to something a few years back. I wonder if this might be it? http://www.nytimes.com/2002/03/17/nyregion/columbia-soothes-the-dogs-of-war-in-its-english-dept.html?pagewanted=all&src=pm

It sounds utterly, utterly nasty and something that would stick to Columbia for a while. But it's also about a decade-old dispute, and since then Columbia has attracted alot of really awesome already-established profs from other schools. Most of my POIs at Columbia are fairly recent hires. (No, I'm not talking about Judy.) I wouldn't think that they'd all come to Columbia if it were a hostile environment. Plus, they are all those god-forsaken "feminists" and people interested in such esoteric, nonsensical issues like gender and sexuality.

How do I get to the bottom of this? Where is my sleuthing hat? :ph34r:

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Because I can't stop dwelling on this. <_< I wonder if this is what everyone refers to when they say "department politics" at Columbia? I know the (non-GC) source from whom I directly heard this, something a friend said her adviser said (because said adviser had a friend whose been teaching at Columbia for a very long time), was also to referring to something a few years back. I wonder if this might be it? http://www.nytimes.c...nted=all&src=pm

It sounds utterly, utterly nasty and something that would stick to Columbia for a while. But it's also about a decade-old dispute, and since then Columbia has attracted alot of really awesome already-established profs from other schools. Most of my POIs at Columbia are fairly recent hires. (No, I'm not talking about Judy.) I wouldn't think that they'd all come to Columbia if it were a hostile environment. Plus, they are all those god-forsaken "feminists" and people interested in such esoteric, nonsensical issues like gender and sexuality.

How do I get to the bottom of this? Where is my sleuthing hat? :ph34r:

I'm curious about this too -- not an English student, if issues are interdepartmental, it would be good to know. This thread seems to be mostly applicants, but maybe there are some lurkers who are at Columbia, or know something more concrete?

Edited by coffeeplease
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There seem to be a lot of rumours flying around about Columbia, that's for sure! My ex was almost lured into their English PhD program three years ago when he went through this process, but ultimately ended up in a different program-- one much better suited to his interests and personality. He heard after that the vibe in the Columbia English department was pretty cut throat. But, I think he might have heard this while attending a conference at the CUNY Grad Center, so perhaps it should be taken with a grain of salt. Seemed like there could have been a slight rivalry going on there.

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Here's a way to really drive yourself crazy: many/most PhD programs have a "current grad students" section where you can read about the people who are currently studying. After you make your choices, you may find yourself looking at the departments you turned down or didn't get into and thinking about what life would have been like.

I can see this happening to me. I tend to get caught up in "what-if" "research" situations, where I "research" (i.e., read gc fora and departmental webpages) endlessly and try to imagine life at various school. I imagine most of us have fallen into that trap...

Though then again, that may explain the multi-acceptances many of us have :D

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I spent a long night last night re-reading Tufts webpage and looking up housing and part-time jobs on Craigslist after my call with Dr. Haber. Hope is a really amazing thing and I wish I had appreciated it more instead of tamping down on it so violently to keep it from hurting so much.

Choices, possibilities - I hereby will appreciate it more now that I'm in the moment of not having to worry about staying at my dead end job.

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I spent a long night last night re-reading Tufts webpage and looking up housing and part-time jobs on Craigslist after my call with Dr. Haber. Hope is a really amazing thing and I wish I had appreciated it more instead of tamping down on it so violently to keep it from hurting so much.

Choices, possibilities - I hereby will appreciate it more now that I'm in the moment of not having to worry about staying at my dead end job.

Oh man, I have so many Somerville recommendations to make for you. I used to live in Ball Sq. Really REALLY miss it.

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Oh man, I have so many Somerville recommendations to make for you. I used to live in Ball Sq. Really REALLY miss it.

I spent a week in Boston about six years ago and I fell in love with it. The Tufts call was so amazing just because of my love for the city. Even if I do wind up with other offers, I'm going to have a really difficult time turning down Tufts. Recommendations would definitely be welcomed.

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Wow. :blink:

Reading through a thread full of people talking about how shitty and evil the atmosphere and environment at both my accepted programs is can really make a gal feel swell.

Can't wait for September, when I can get started on the six years of abject misery and intellectual brutality that seem to be my fate. :)

Thanks for the honesty, dudes. Sleeping and/or eating were not things I really needed to be doing for the next 6 months anyway. Fretting about having my throat cut seems like a much better way to spend my time. ;)

On a more serious note, I'm trying REALLY hard not to let the opinions and experiences (either positive or negative) expressed on this board influence my perception of the schools/programs too much before I have a chance to visit and do some sleuthing among the current students. I want to go in with an open mind, and really be proactive about ensuring that I have enough information (both factual and experiential) to make a good decision.

But fuck me. This thread has caused my anxiety to absolutely skyrocket.

Quick! Somebody post something about all the cute puppies that roam free on the Chicago campus, or how I can get dirt cheap tickets to the Hurricanes if I live in North Carolina!

(On second thought, the idea of actually sitting through a Carolina Hurricanes game is even more depressing than this thread.... :mellow: )

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Your instincts are right, Dorinda-- you shouldn't listen too much to the innuendo. It's not that people are trying to do harm, of course. But the simple fact of the matter is that you can't possibly know what your individual experience is going to be like. And it's not like it can or should influence your behavior in the long run. You've worked hard for acceptances at great schools, and you got them. Beyond that you can't control, and it's no use fretting about it now.

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Quick! Somebody post something about how I can get dirt cheap tickets to the Hurricanes if I live in North Carolina!

(On second thought, the idea of actually sitting through a Carolina Hurricanes game is even more depressing than this thread.... :mellow: )

You can get dirt cheap tickets to the Canes if you live in North Carolina. And hey, we've won the cup!

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Dorinda, feel free to PM me if you want. I did my MA at Chicago, lived in Hyde Park, and moved there from Montana. . .about as big of a shock to the system as one can get. I still whole heartedly endorse the school, am jealous you get to do a Ph.D. there (if you choose) ;), and know all the faculty you would be working with. If not, no worries. . .but seriously, don't worry too much. Either option really is pretty great. Talk to your profs :)

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