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freak out moments


mylstisr

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today after talking with an advisor at one of the schools i am currently waiting to hear from i totally had a freak out moment.

i came home with the certainty that i was going to be rejected based on the things the advisor said and her expressions and what not, and literally cried for about 40 minutes.

what has been your biggest freak out moment so far during this whole process?

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I had a meeting with a potential advisor like that before I even sent my application - I decided to apply anyway because it's a great program, but referred to the meeting as "the disaster" and assumed I'd get rejected. And I got in, with a nice email from that very professor to let me know! So don't lose hope, we can be way too critical of ourselves sometimes.

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When I discovered Grad Cafe, read the posts, and realized how badly I screwed up my application.

Or how abysmal my GRE scores were in comparison to EVERYONE else :D

Or what a NICHE I'm studying LoL...and how hard it is to fund a niche!! hehe

My biggest freakout though probably came when I started getting rejections and for two seconds thought that they were ALL going to be that way.

Sigh.

I'm still down for joining ye olde traveling circus if it doesn't work out. :wink:

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Mailing my applications was like birthing a child. I was so weak in the legs that the Demon Postal Lady was concerned when she took my application packages from me. She was so super sweet - and really she's an evil-evil creature who has always been slightly stand offish until I came in there like a wounded animal. I must have looked too rough and tumble to even eat...

I had a moment of absolute panic in the car assuming said demonic postal lady ate the envelopes. I then proceeded to chain smoked until I thought I was going to crumble into ashes (I smoked a whole pack in the parking lot) and decided to go get cocked with one of my professors (who, to be honest, is a depressing lump of human skin but the best dude to take to the bar when one needs to feel that their own life is not as bad/depressing/in-need-of-a-blues-theme-song as his).

In the end, it is true:

Booze soothes.

8)

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Mailing my applications was like birthing a child. I was so weak in the legs that the Demon Postal Lady was concerned when she took my application packages from me. She was so super sweet - and really she's an evil-evil creature who has always been slightly stand offish until I came in there like a wounded animal. I must have looked too rough and tumble to even eat...

I had a moment of absolute panic in the car assuming said demonic postal lady ate the envelopes. I then proceeded to chain smoked until I thought I was going to crumble into ashes (I smoked a whole pack in the parking lot) and decided to go get cocked with one of my professors (who, to be honest, is a depressing lump of human skin but the best dude to take to the bar when one needs to feel that their own life is not as bad/depressing/in-need-of-a-blues-theme-song as his).

In the end, it is true:

Booze soothes.

8)

That's how I felt too! I was begging the postal employees to assure me that the packets would all arrive safely...I don't know anything about birthing children, but I do know that the process was a frightening and difficult one. I was so scared that I was praying over the packages before they went out. And I got all of the insurance available and signature confirmations...

Booze soothes...but in the end it has only been my thesis and the stress of writing it that has kept my mind occupied. :wink:

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If you are still at some school and have friends who have applied along with you, you might relate to this.

It was one fine spring afternoon a few weeks ago, I was having lunch with my friends, and suddenly one of them coolly quips that he has just gotten three admits, one fellowship, one RA ship and also one with a TA ship. I was frozen. Literally. Though at that point of time, I did a little more than put up a smile to keep my distraught hidden, all that afternoon and evening I was frantic and freaked out. I was happy for him, but hell, I applied to the same departments and the same schools... :(

And then that night, I found TGC. See the result. Its appalling, I can't stop myself from visiting this site.. :? :oops: :oops: :?

p s: The actual story is not as dramatic as it is depicted here, but then, I am just trying my hand at creative writing... :wink: it is true though :?

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Mine came just before a phone-interview. Professor X and I had originally settled on 4:00 as the time, but he emailed me partway through the afternoon, mentioning that he was busy and needed to wait until 4:40. That was fine with me, so I wrote back saying as such. Then, around, 4:25, he emailed me again, saying, 'Actually, I'm done a bit early. Are you available now?' I wrote back, 'Sure, anytime is fine from now on.' Pressed 'send'. The phone rang.

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Mine came just before a phone-interview. Professor X and I had originally settled on 4:00 as the time, but he emailed me partway through the afternoon, mentioning that he was busy and needed to wait until 4:40. That was fine with me, so I wrote back saying as such. Then, around, 4:25, he emailed me again, saying, 'Actually, I'm done a bit early. Are you available now?' I wrote back, 'Sure, anytime is fine from now on.' Pressed 'send'. The phone rang.

You're joining the X-MEN?!

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Trying to. They're not convinced that merely being a bright person with a fairly good vocabulary and some interesting muscial abilities amounts to being a mutant, but I'm working on persuading them. Though the fact that the guy is a mind-reader isn't helping very much.

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I had my worst freak out moments during the week or two right after I submitted my apps and it seemed like everything was going wrong and being turned on its head due to my own oversights; and I seemed to have a way going in and making things worse than they already were. In fact, I began going berzerk and threadjacked someone else's freak-out thread right here on the gradcafe to accommodate my own mania.

http://forum.thegradcafe.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=14663

It is really embarrassing both to re-read that thread and also to reflect on the asinine things I do while I am freaking out.

I'll probably resume freaking out again this coming week, as I'm expecting to receive decisions from a number of schools in the mail soon.

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So a couple days ago i had a dream that I was rejected and I asked why, and they told me that one of my letter writers had written some really bad things about me in his LoR...then i woke up and didn't realize right away that it was a dream and i started really panicking in the not able to move sort of way...and then i realized i was being very, very silly.

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I'm starting to have dreams about making a huge mess of future campus-visits. Weird, especially since the first one I did was very much a success and since I'm not feeling at all anxious about later ones.

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My freakout moment came when I got three rejections in two days which was rough enough, and then was told by Friend A that she was accepted by UC Berkeley and told by Friend B that he had an interview with Leeds. Now I love both Friend A and B, but I know for a fact that I have the better GPA, GRE, extracurriculars, you name it. They both told me the "oh don't worry you'll get in, if I got this then you're sure to!" line, but as it stands I'm still holding four rejections and not even a waitlist. Argh.

I think the hardest part about the grad school application process is the jealousy that it breeds.

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When my top choice started sending out interview invites and I didn't get one, I had to take a day off of work to get myself together.

Thankfully I got over it and now feel oddly detached from the whole process. I'm in waitlist limbo but I am almost reassured that I was considered somewhere, and that I'm not rejected anywhere, and at least I still have a job in this economy.

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My freakout moment came when I got three rejections in two days which was rough enough, and then was told by Friend A that she was accepted by UC Berkeley and told by Friend B that he had an interview with Leeds. Now I love both Friend A and B, but I know for a fact that I have the better GPA, GRE, extracurriculars, you name it. They both told me the "oh don't worry you'll get in, if I got this then you're sure to!" line, but as it stands I'm still holding four rejections and not even a waitlist. Argh.

I think the hardest part about the grad school application process is the jealousy that it breeds.

ugh i hate that crap!

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Wait...I think I have a super freak out moment right now. I was invited to attend visiting weekend at a university I've been amditted to. They have not yet mentioned anything about funding. Anyway, the advisor that I want to work with lives in the same city as me and will be commuting to the weekend and has asked if I would like to ride along. Though my first mind tells me this is a good opportunity, I am verrrrry freaked out right now at the prospect of a 2 hour commute each way. What in the world will I talk about? I keep thinking I would say some absolutely stupid things that will affect my funding chances. Arrrrrghh! :?

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