nesw4314 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) Hello everyone, I need your help very much. I'm a 23 year old married guy with a baby on the way very soon. I've been offered a job as a research scientist at a company in very low cost area of California. They are offering me $85,000 base salary plus guaranteed 5 to 15% bonus each year ($90,000 - $97,000/year) and a $10,000 moving allowance check (I keep whatever I don't use for moving expenses). I have been admitted to the PhD program in Ecology and Evolutionary Biology at UCLA. They are offering me several fellowships amounting to $27,000/year for five years. UCLA is only 1 hr and 45 minutes away from job. My wife is in the hospitality industry and LA would be a great place for her to work. However, I am not sure what I would do with this degree outside of academia, and I'm not sure that I want to be in academia. I would have to TA in later years as well. I've been admitted to the PhD program in Environmental Science, Policy, and Management at UC Berkeley. They are offering me a $28,000/year fellowship for four years (or $36,000/year with the parent grant if I receive it). I'd be able to choose whatever project I want here and the degree is much more applied, meaning I can go into academia if I want, but I can also work in industry upon completing it. Actually, the job I'd be taking is related to the type of research I'd be doing for my PhD and I wouldn't be adverse to staying at the job after completing my PhD. However, the four hour distance from the job would mean I'd have to make strategic once or twice per week visits to Berkeley to take classes/attend meetings. I'd see my wife and daughter less with this option. Because I am having a hard time choosing either of the three singly, I want to choose the full-time job and one of the schools and try to do both simultaneously. I will have a Master's degree from an Ivy League school this summer. Should I just not go to either school and focus on the job exclusively at this point? I really want a PhD and I will regret it for the rest of my life if I don't pursue it but I don't have it in me to turn down this job, which is a dream job of mine. PLEASE HELP ME! Edited March 25, 2013 by nesw4314
compiler_guy Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I think it is very hard to raise a family while going thru graduate school. Graduate school is time consuming, even more than a full time job. However, if your final goal is a research or academic position, a PhD is the best option. You won't be able to work at an external job while doing your PhD. If you insist on working, completing a PhD could take you 11 years or so and most departments won't fund you. Best of luck with your decision.
tarrman Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 Why do you want a Ph.D.? If you have no interest in academia, and you say that's all the degree from UCLA will be good for, it doesn't make sense to even be considering that offer. I met someone who was going to work full-time and do his Ph.D., but he didn't have to travel. I think the distance from your job will make this nearly impossible, but if you're serious about doing both, try to work something out with the program at Berkeley.
nesw4314 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) Hello, Thanks for the responses thus far. I want a PhD because I want to do research; academia is not the only place one can do research. I guess I'm still considering UCLA because it's much closer to the job and maybe there are jobs I don't know about that can be obtained with a degree in EEB outside of academia. For me, obtaining the PhD is a lifelong goal, but I'd find it nearly impossible to turn down this job paying this kinda money, not to mention this is a job I'd love to have coming out of a PhD program and yet I got the job with just a Master's. But the PhD isn't just about getting a dream job. I really want it and would regret it for the rest of my life if I don't pursue it. Not to mention I'd also find it impossible to turn down fellowship offers from either of these schools, let alone both schools. I guess I didn't assume I'd get into either. Edited March 25, 2013 by nesw4314
ProfLorax Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 At least in the humanities, students on fellowship are not allowed to have outside employment. You may want to first check to see if PhD program + job is even an option. nesw4314 1
nesw4314 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) There is nowhere on the websites of either school that mention anything about outside employment. Edited March 25, 2013 by nesw4314 nesw4314 1
jmu Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 There is nowhere on the websites of either school that mention anything about outside employment. There is nothing on the grad school website where I accepted about it either, but it is stipulated in my contract. I would contact the department(s) and grad school(s) to find out for sure. nesw4314 1
callista Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 You're only 23! You can always go back to school. The job sounds terrific. Sheesh, I'd love to make that much, lol What does your spouse think? You may wish to spend as much time as you can with your family in the first few years... and you'll be able to save money as a cushion for studies later. IMHO. nesw4314 1
eaboo316 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) Wow, you got yourself a tough situation here but that's because you're choosing between some wonderful offers! Congratulations!! If I were in your position, I think I would take the job without accepting either of the graduate school offers. Graduate school itself (from what I hear) is like a full time job, and if you want to get the best out of the program, I don't think having a full-time job is advisable. On a side note, that would be so much commuting! Your gas expenses would skyrocket, plus that much time spent in the car could be well-spent somewhere else. Also, since you and your wife have a baby on the way, consider how much time you would be able to spend with your family. Full-time job + graduate school does not equal enough quality time with mommy and baby, in my opinion. The job sounds like it would provide the best support for you and your family as well. I read above that the reason you would like to pursue a PhD is to do research. How about the research you would be doing at the full-time job? I think you should consider all these factors when making your decision, especially your family. You are young, and you can always pursue a PhD later if the urge is still there, but that is such an incredible job offer and I think you should accept it! You may find out that you enjoy the job so much that the desire to apply to a PhD program will be gone. Hope that helped a little! Edited March 25, 2013 by eaboo316 compiler_guy, nesw4314 and callista 3
nesw4314 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 (edited) But if I don't get the PhD I won't be able to say I'm Dr. so and so. My friends will have MDs, PharmDs, PhDs, DDs, and JDs. I would just have a Masters . I know this sounds superficial of me....However, my wife's side of the family is really uppity and I feel the only way they and others would continue to think of me as the smart person I am is if I pursue the PhD, though my wife wants me to stop school completely and take the job singly. However, I wouldn't be able to cope mentally if I don't do this degree, regardless of how idiotic it sounds. Not to mention, I want it for myself, for the self-fullfillment. I only applied to the job as a backup plan in case I didn't get into these top schools but now that I have the offer and the fact that I loved the company when I visited, I can't turn it down. I'm stressing out 110% right now! Edited March 25, 2013 by nesw4314
callista Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 But if I don't get the PhD I won't be able to say I'm Dr. so and so. My friends will have MDs, PharmDs, PhDs, DDs, and JDs. I would just have a Masters Listen. It's clear that you have a bright future ahead of you, based on the information you've given us. If they are really your friends, they won't care what kind of degree you have!!!!
eaboo316 Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 When making a decision like this, I think it's best to think as practically as you can. It's great that you can admit that the reasoning you gave is superficial, but please think about which situation would be best for your family, not your pride or bragging rights. I'm impressed that you were able to get such an amazing job offer with a masters! A research scientist position sounds like a position for a PhD, especially with that salary, but you were able to get such a position without going through 5-7 more years of education, that's really great and you should be proud of yourself! If you did not have others who depended on you, then I would say go for the PhD, however that is not your case. I understand you are stressed out, especially since you have a high priority for your self-fulfillment, but think ahead of the situation and decide what would be best for your family and quality of life with your family. Don't worry about what others are thinking of your position, know that you worked hard for this position and would be doing what's best for you and your family (and like mentioned before, you can always pursue a PhD later if the urge is still there).
callista Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 The most important thing is that you take care of your wife and child. Wouldn't her family think that is the most important thing? Couldn't you do that so much better with the job than with a PhD during the first few years? Are you being a bit of a perfectionist? (I say this as one, myself.)
nesw4314 Posted March 25, 2013 Author Posted March 25, 2013 I suppose you all are kinda right. I chose to have a family and now I have to live with it. We'd still be able to get by exclusively on a PhD stipend because she would also get a job, but sure, we'd struggle. And yes, I am a perfectionist and that's what I'm battling with. I never wanted to be one of those people who come back to school in their 30s, or even late 20s. I wanted to do everything in consecutive order: B.S. ---> M.S. ---> Ph.D. ---> Job. Thanks for all of the input.....
Lulubelle Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I don't have much to add to what everyone else said, but the idea that you'll regret it for the rest of your life if you CHOOSE to regret it. It's all about attitude. And I'd say that having your dream job and a happy life with your family is not anything to regret. Not to mention that you have plenty of time to go back to school later, even if it doesn't fit your initial plan.
callista Posted March 25, 2013 Posted March 25, 2013 I do understand a little about how you feel; I was disappointed in myself when I didn't continue on for the PhD (I was 25). I also had a similar friend situation. As you progress in life, you'll have new experiences and make new accomplishments, and those will fulfill you more than you can imagine right now. I've spent 15 years doing research with a master's. I supervise 2 PhDs and one PhD candidate.
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