Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[shadowclaw]

20 hours ago, hippyscientist said:

Last night my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me, because he can't cope with the distance any more. In 6 months, I'll be moving to the same state as him. Apparently I'm not worth waiting 6 months for.

Screw having this on top of admissions stress and current masters work. I just want to curl up under a blanket and not come out for days.

That sucks! I would say he's not worth it if he can't support your pursuit of an education by making small sacrifices like being apart for a little while, but that really doesn't make anyone feel better anyway. Just take solace in the thought that in a range of several weeks to a few months, you'll be feeling better and you'll probably look back at this and be grateful that you found out now that the relationship wasn't built to last. I mean, what if you got married and were offered an amazing 2 year post-doc somewhere and he wanted a divorce after a year apart? That's way stickier and would almost certainly be harder after 5+ more years together.

[hippyscientist]

2 hours ago, shadowclaw said:

That sucks! I would say he's not worth it if he can't support your pursuit of an education by making small sacrifices like being apart for a little while, but that really doesn't make anyone feel better anyway. Just take solace in the thought that in a range of several weeks to a few months, you'll be feeling better and you'll probably look back at this and be grateful that you found out now that the relationship wasn't built to last. I mean, what if you got married and were offered an amazing 2 year post-doc somewhere and he wanted a divorce after a year apart? That's way stickier and would almost certainly be harder after 5+ more years together.

Very very true. Thank you for your kind words. I guess the bit that really gets me is we've been long distance (separate continents) for 4 of those 5 years and the distance was coming to an end!!! Oh well. You live and learn. Guess I dodged a bullet, although right now it doesn't feel it!

[Cheshire_Cat]

Grr!  I'm tired, and I have regression homework tonight.  I had a test last week, and I'm pretty sure I bombed it.  On top of that, I bought a car yesterday (yay!) And I had planned on using a specific account for the down payment. But the card they gave me for that account wouldn’t work.  So I used my other account and transferred money from the other one.   Unfortunately it is the first of the month and the money hasn't arrived yet.   I didn't think that one through well enough.  So all my bills are going to be paid late.  Hopefully the money will come tomorrow or I'm screwed. 

[MangoSmoothie]

Having to work with someone in a group who lets personal feelings get in the way of academic requirements. The boy (yes, boy, since he calls the women in my program "the girls" despite our objection to the term) has developed an issue with me because I have the gall to disagree with any of his ideas. He thinks if I don't like an idea of his, it means I think he's stupid, and he takes it so personally that now he won't even make eye-contact with me in the hallways. He even told me to "stop being so huffy" because I didn't agree enthusiastically enough with an idea of his (I had said "Yeah, I think that will work."). Discussing our group work is impossible in person since I can't get his attention, but then he went off and sent in a small assignment for submission, without copying me in on the email or even letting me know he was going to complete and submit it. After I addressed this situation by email (pretty professionally and diplomatically, which was impressive because I was pretty pissed), he whined to my friends and peers that I sent him a "hate email" and bitched about me to them. And then he didn't even acknowledge the email to me.

We're adults. Even if I've somehow wound up on your bad side, we can still treat each other professionally and work together, not against each other.

Edited March 2, 2016 by MangoSmoothie

[Cat_Robutt]

@MangoSmoothie ARGH THAT'S THE WORST. Especially as you're in a communication-based field! So sorry that brobaby is being such a brobaby, and I hope you're able to get out of that situation.

I also would like to vent a bit.... one of my classes (out of 5) is just so.....apathetic. They don't engage with course material, or each other, and it's super annoying! My other class with the same content is super into it; they talk to each other, ask questions, show up on time. It's interpersonal comm, so we do things like play card games to figure out who is lying, go outside and see who can tell the worst jokes, watch clips from SNL, John Oliver, the Oscars, and sit around and talk about our friends/families/jobs...the class is supposed to be enjoyable and fun. It's super frustrating, then, to see the apathy, and I can tell some of my students are blowing my class off to sleep in because it starts at 7:00am. It's like they don't even care if they pass or fail, or learn. I'm thinking I know this is community college, but damn it isn't high school, y'all! Get your act together and act professionally! *sigh* Any advice?

[kingslayer]

1 hour ago, Cat_Robutt said:

I'm thinking I know this is community college, but damn it isn't high school, y'all! Get your act together and act professionally! *sigh* Any advice?

Hahahah this made me laugh out loud! I went to 5 schools in the LA area, and CC was basically a giant continuation of high school for the majority of the classes I was in. A lot of people already knew each other so there were cliques, and many people still had the high school mentality. It was mainly a fashion show; like who could wear the shortest shorts and show off the most cleavage. My professor held study sessions for his courses; five courses, each with 50 people. Only around 30 people showed up all together for the sessions. I think most people in a 7 AM class do not actually want to be there; they probably are pissed because all of the other "good" courses (i.e. after 10 AM) were taken. The only thing that really helped when I was in CC is if a professor did attendance and dinged them for that.

[Cat_Robutt]

@kingslayer I know....and the class is required for transfer, so yep lots of unhappy faces! I do mark and ding for attendance, but no dice for some of them!

Also, today I had to give my first verbal warning for a student who was taking a selfie....and I was sitting a few rows behind said student. Because there was a presentation going on. WHAT.

[kjc]

Agh I don't know if there is anything in this world that frustrates me more than people getting pissy about having to do their jobs. The support staff in my department act like everything they do is a favor. NEWSFLASH: this is what you are paid to do. I have been nothing but kind to the office staff in my department but if I need help with one thing (that is within their job description to help me with) they act like I am a huge burden. I know it's likely because they have a lot on their plates, but jeesh, don't we all? If I acted like that to my advisor every time he asked me to do something it would not be okay. 

[Cheshire_Cat]

 

8 hours ago, kjc said:

Agh I don't know if there is anything in this world that frustrates me more than people getting pissy about having to do their jobs. The support staff in my department act like everything they do is a favor. NEWSFLASH: this is what you are paid to do. I have been nothing but kind to the office staff in my department but if I need help with one thing (that is within their job description to help me with) they act like I am a huge burden. I know it's likely because they have a lot on their plates, but jeesh, don't we all? If I acted like that to my advisor every time he asked me to do something it would not be okay. 

Omg, I know!  My office staff is wonderful,  but there are some many people who act like that.  I mean, we do it too, occasionally complaining about students or professors and stuff, but the Internet has made an art out of it.  Some people even seem like they think they are being righteous by complaining about actually having to do their job, especially in the service industry.  What a world we live in. 

[shadowclaw]

On 3/8/2016 at 6:44 PM, Cheshire_Cat said:

Some people even seem like they think they are being righteous by complaining about actually having to do their job, especially in the service industry.  What a world we live in. 

Hey, any kind of service job can be a real pain in the rear when the people getting served are complete jerkwads. I used to be a waitress, and while I was happy to run around for my customers, give them free dessert on their birthday out of my own pocket, deliver their usual drinks without them having to order, and chat about life when it was slow, some people were just complete buttholes. I had no qualms complaining about doing extra work for them.

[thepinkdragon76]

Life has been a series of craziness since this time last year. Health issues, job issues for my husband, moves, etc. When will it stop? And why would a university's financial aid department send me emails like I am already a student when I haven't even gotten an acceptance or denial letter? Stop playing with my emotions world! LOL

[Cat1029]

I got rejected from all the grad schools I applied to. Again. It feels like when you get stitches, and start to heal, and decide to get on the skateboard again, only to rip them all out again. 

I've lost any confidence I once had in my abilities as an academically inclined person and I don't know how to get them back, or if I even want to. It hurts so badly and I don't even understand why. Its not personal. 

I have a great job traveling around the world, living in other countries, learning about other people, and experiencing amazing things, and I want to...I dunno... contribute to the world using my experiences, but it doesn't seem possible at this point. 

I want to give up, but I feel like I'm letting down every professor who ever encouraged me to go to grad school and my own, enthusiastic naive undergraduate self. I don't want to give up on my dreams... I dunno what to do... 

[kjc]

UGH. Gave a presentation yesterday where I talked about an idea for a paper. Prof wants me to refine idea, sends me a "new" paper to read... I talked about that very paper explicitly in my presentation. To top it off, from the synopsis the prof gave they clearly don't understand the paper/didn't actually read it... I'm not sure how to respond to that. "Ummm dear xxxx, I suggest you actually look at the methods of that paper." or maybe I should just respond with "LOL" 

I'm just kidding, of course. I will respond in a mature and professional manner. But I will be a little snarky in my head. 

[CBclone]

Even after an interview (for a summer job) the other day left me with a feeling that the position wasn't going to be a great fit and I'd be understimulated/not challenged enough, the rejection still hurts :-/ 

[Apogeee]

I am missing my family very much. I came here to do a job, and I am doing it. But I miss them.

[Apogeee]

On 3/10/2016 at 10:42 AM, Cat1029 said:

I want to give up, but I feel like I'm letting down every professor who ever encouraged me to go to grad school and my own, enthusiastic naive undergraduate self. I don't want to give up on my dreams... I dunno what to do... 

Are you applying to the right major? What are happiest doing? What makes you feel like you're home?

[Cat1029]

On 3/12/2016 at 0:41 PM, Agrippina said:

Are you applying to the right major? What are happiest doing? What makes you feel like you're home?

It's not the major that I'm focused on, it's the program and the alignment of their ideas. I was looking for a good fit for my intended research.

As I said before, I didn't get in the first time, and this is my second round of rejections. Studying and sharing ideas is what makes me happy, It's what I love to do, and if it wasn't, there is no way that I would have been able to pick myself up from the first time and try again.

I'm in a better place now than I was when I made that last post, but it's still so difficult to figure out where I'm going to go from here. I love academia; researching, sharing, and expanding your ideas. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to love what I have to contribute.

[Apogeee]

1 hour ago, Cat1029 said:

It's not the major that I'm focused on, it's the program and the alignment of their ideas. I was looking for a good fit for my intended research.

As I said before, I didn't get in the first time, and this is my second round of rejections. Studying and sharing ideas is what makes me happy, It's what I love to do, and if it wasn't, there is no way that I would have been able to pick myself up from the first time and try again.

I should have asked more clearly. Studying what, specifically, and sharing which ideas, specifically, makes you happy? I wonder if your rejections are more a symptom of the fact that you are not applying for the programs you really are the most suited for. How do you like to share your ideas? As a teacher? But again, which ideas are you the happiest sharing? I don't think it's a good idea to skip this question, or minimize it. I think you are missing something vital here that could make all the difference to your personal success.

[neashd]

I have not heard from 3/4 schools yet, I am getting worried that I may not get in anywhere!
Checking the portals daily for an update .... I have checked the feed on the acceptances so far and some have heard back!
I have confirmation emails to state my applications were received in January. 
Ahhhhh what are everyones thoughts on this?! 

So Far:
March 14 I was rejected from Concordia For Masters in Art History
Waiting to hear back from:
Ryerson University for Film and photography Preservation and Collections Management, Masters
York University Art History Masters 
University of Toronto For MVS Curatorial 

 

Edited March 16, 2016 by Rachellem

[lovekilledinos]

My portal still says my application is incomplete. GDI, anxiety, knock it off. 

[fernandes]

Come onnnnnnnn UIUC!! That's all.

[shadowclaw]

Devoted a significant amount of my time this past term to a side project one of my professors was working on. Between doing things for my own dissertation, my TA position, my 12 credits of coursework, and this project, I had no life and I was very cranky. My advisor was ok with it and it consisted mostly of analyzing data and attending weekly meetings. Even though I felt like I was drowning all term, I was fine because I was supposed to get two publications out of it. Now, the lab group has decided to make it into a report published by a state agency the professor is affiliated with and then after it's published, we'll see about submitting something to a journal if there is additional analysis we can do. I wouldn't have agreed to take on the extra work if I knew there was a good chance of not getting a peer-reviewed publication out of it. Plus, in January we were shooting for having a draft of the first manuscript finished by the end of this month. Now we're shooting for having the report drafted by June. If we ever get to the journal manuscript, it probably won't be until the next academic year.

[fernandes]

I miss my girlfriend so much! We've last seen each other in January when she came to visit me in my country and I'm going back to the US for a PhD in August... so much time away from each other! 

[Cheshire_Cat]

My regression class is driving me nuts.  I have to learn the programming language and the regression concepts at the same time, and I'm not doing well at that.  I'm usually good at programming languages, but we are using SAS and their "help" is bad and confusing.  And I can listen and try to pay attention to my professor, and still not get it because I have a hard time with his accent and these other people keep asking stupid questions that throw me off.  I get the concepts when I read them and when I listen to a different professor talk about them, but I can't do the SAS programming well enough to do anything.

 I am having a really hard time making the leap from the concept to what I'm supposed to be doing in SAS.  And he just points to the SAS help website, which is no help at all.  I want to do my best at everything, but I feel like I'm just wasting my time here.  And I feel stupid that everyone is getting it except for me.  I want to quit this class.  From what my classmates have told me, I'm doing better in our theory development class than them, but this regression class sucks.

[shadowclaw]

7 hours ago, Cheshire_Cat said:

My regression class is driving me nuts.  I have to learn the programming language and the regression concepts at the same time, and I'm not doing well at that.  I'm usually good at programming languages, but we are using SAS and their "help" is bad and confusing.  And I can listen and try to pay attention to my professor, and still not get it because I have a hard time with his accent and these other people keep asking stupid questions that throw me off.  I get the concepts when I read them and when I listen to a different professor talk about them, but I can't do the SAS programming well enough to do anything.

 I am having a really hard time making the leap from the concept to what I'm supposed to be doing in SAS.  And he just points to the SAS help website, which is no help at all.  I want to do my best at everything, but I feel like I'm just wasting my time here.  And I feel stupid that everyone is getting it except for me.  I want to quit this class.  From what my classmates have told me, I'm doing better in our theory development class than them, but this regression class sucks.

SAS can be a huge pain in the rear. I took a stats class that used SAS and while I didn't have too many issues with the language, I was extremely annoyed because I will never use it ever again and it would have been far more useful to learn how to do everything in R, which I actually use and people in my field actually use. The worst part is that the professor normally teaches the class in R, but for some weird reason he thought it would be more beneficial to teach us SAS (even though the majority of us were ecologists). I feel like I was able to grasp SAS so easily because 1) I have taken a lot of computer science courses, and 2) even though it was a graduate course, we learned extremely simple statistics (t-test and its different variations, ANOVA, and linear regression - nothing else). Since I already knew how to use all of the statistics, I could really just focus on learning SAS. The good news is that there is some help out there on the web. You just need to google it.