shortstack51 Posted February 27, 2014 Share Posted February 27, 2014 I thought I'd open up a thread so maybe we could start talking about and asking for advice about moving forward towards making a decision. I thought maybe this could be a smaller English version of the "Decisions, decisions..." forum. It's still early, but I know at least for me personally I'm only waiting on one more school and I've seen other people deliberating over different programs. There are so many factors to consider--fit, environment, living situations, placement, etc--that I figured we should have a place to hash out our lives. My situation: I got into two programs (well, sort of--accepted to 1, top of the wait list at 2 but told I was basically guaranteed admittance), waitlisted at a third. One of the programs I got into has been very welcoming and has been e-mailing me and doing kind of a reverse of the application process; rather than me trying to prove my "fit," they are trying to prove their fit to me. It's quite nice! Anyway, this school is mid-level and has an 80% placement rate out of their PhD program with a majority being TT positions. Their stipend is $21k with a 1-1 teaching schedule, medical and dental included. The other is a less-well ranked (below 70), $14k stipend (in a very cheap area), teaching 1-2 or 2-1 and with a pretty large course load on top of it, and a decent-to-okay placement record. Doesn't seem to be as good of a fit, so I am leaning towards program 1. The problem: I have a fiancee who is also applying to programs, but her applications have very late deadlines. We talked about how if places we got into didn't line up, my program would take priority and she would take the year off and try to find a job. Especially because she's applying to MA programs. However, she's applying to a program she has a good shot at that is not far from program 2 and ones she has a good shot near the program I've been wait listed at (program 3), which is ranked pretty highly. I like program 3, also a decent enough fit, but it's in NYC and I really don't feel like living here anymore (a realization I came to after spending an extra few months here after applying and getting into programs in much more "nature-y" areas). Also, the stipend would be $25k, which will be enough to sustain us, but at programs 1 and 2 we could literally rent an entire house for less rent than an apartment in the city. Program 3's placement is very good within the city, so-so outside of it. Basically, I am leaning towards program 1, but I feel really awful because I'm boxing my fiancee out of her education. Also, once she gets her MA, she'll actually be making a good amount of money, so we need her to enter the workforce so we can start preparing for student loan repayments, having a family, etc (of course, we have enough time where she can definitely afford to take a year off). She said she's fine with working for a year and is kind of excited about it, but she went through so much angst to apply and has been so disappointed by not getting into certain programs that I feel bad denying her possible admission and prioritizing my wants when I have multiple options. Program 1 also wants me to get back to them sooner rather than later. I still have a campus visit to complete to 1, so that may change things, who knows. I am also hoping to make a visit to program 3 once it gets further into "decision season." But sometimes I just feel like throwing myself at program 1 immediately. There is very little chance I'll be able to make it out to program 2 for a visit because it's so far. They've said they might be able to help with the cost, but there may just not be enough time in my schedule to do it. If all goes well, I may even have a program 4 to considering in the next week or two. So stressful! Anyone else already experiencing decision angst? Have to worry about an SO? Or is it way too early to be stressing out about decisions? Thanks for reading my drivel! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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