dating mathematicians?

[Quantum Buckyball]

So, long story short, I've been talking to two mathematicians recently (within 3 days, it just happened) and realized I was having a difficult time finding their research interesting...like......very little... like the whole measure theory stuff (pure math theorist)    

 

Anyways, do you guys have any pointers for dating mathematicians? like, what are the stuff they like to do in general? or just avoid talk about research at all..  

Edited April 16, 2014 by Quantum Buckyball

[Eigen]

I don't even know where to start. 

 

First off, why are you assuming that because someone is a mathematician, they have "stuff they like to do in general"?

 

The friends I have in Math couldn't really be more different. They're as diverse as any other set of graduate students, in my experience. 

[the_sheath]

Wait... You mean, I, an aspiring mathematician, have individuality and agency?! Well, who knew.

No seriously though, we probably, for the most part, like math. So you can go off of that?

I guess my best advice would be too treat us like human beings instead of some kind of monolithic hive mind, I.e. Treat us like we have individuality and don't have "stuff we like to do in general". Get to know us, basically.

[dasgut]

We are the Math. We will add your biological and intellectual distinctiveness to our own. Your research will adapt to service us. Resistance is futile.

[Quantum Buckyball]

Let me make it very clear to you. 

 

The first person (person A) was a pure mathematician and the second one (person B was a bio-mathematician. I was not able to hold a decent conversation with person A mainly because there was no common ground, whereas for person B, it was much easier because there was a common ground. 

 

I supposed I should have made it more clear at the beginning. How should I approach person A more efficiently knowing that there is no common ground between each others? 

Edited April 16, 2014 by Quantum Buckyball

[mf161]

It seems like you and person A will never converge

[ParanoidAndroid]

I supposed I should have made it more clear at the beginning. How should I approach person A more efficiently knowing that there is no common ground between each others? 

 

It seems like you're only approaching this matter in terms of academic interests. How do you know there is no common ground? Did you discuss anything other than research? 

 

Approach this individual as a person, not mathematician. 

 

The reason for the downvote was this part:

 

 

difficult time finding their research interesting...like......very little... like the whole measure theory stuff (pure math theorist)    

 

A little judgmental, don't you think?  

[ParanoidAndroid]

It seems like you and person A will never converge

 

+1 for the math puns. 

[reinhard]

What's their research? Tell me and I can give you some pointers.

[the_sheath]

It seems like you and person A will never converge

We can't know that if OP is only looking at some epsilon-neighborhood of the domain. Unless the domain is actually that narrowly defined. In which case, OP is screwed.

[TakeruK]

The last time I remember being this confused about math related stuff was when all those upside A's and backwards E's started showing up in my math classes!

 

But seriously--can't you find common ground outside of research/academic interests? I'm not saying you have to, but you also don't have to limit your common ground topics to only research related things! The things that various math grad students I know like are: cooking, making beer, playing softball, celebrating pi day, running marathons, playing board games, etc. Basically, pretty similar interests to many other graduate students and non graduate students too!

Edited April 17, 2014 by TakeruK

[Quantum Buckyball]

What's their research? Tell me and I can give you some pointers.

 

It felt like I was giving a counseling session and being a life coach  .

 

person A gave me a short course on measure theory which was a bit, different, not a typical topic you would discuss at a restaurant 

 

It was just so awkward.  

Edited April 17, 2014 by Quantum Buckyball

[Quantum Buckyball]

The last time I remember being this confused about math related stuff was when all those upside A's and backwards E's started showing up in my math classes!

 

But seriously--can't you find common ground outside of research/academic interests? I'm not saying you have to, but you also don't have to limit your common ground topics to only research related things! The things that various math grad students I know like are: cooking, making beer, playing softball, celebrating pi day, running marathons, playing board games, etc. Basically, pretty similar interests to many other graduate students and non graduate students too!

 

person A and I are going to see a horror film this weekend >.> I'm just not gonna talk about research related stuff with person A ~ 

[CauchyProcess]

It felt like I was giving a counseling session and being a life coach  .

 

person A gave me a short course on measure theory which was a bit, different, not a typical topic you would discuss at a restaurant 

 

It was just so awkward.  

 

One of the difficulties with mathematical research is that it can be unbelievably hard to explain to others. I've spent a bit of time studying measure theory, and I'm sure your friend's research is interesting - but probably way over everyone's head, and certainly not explainable in a few days worth of time.

 

Something about math also seems to attract people that can be awkward at times. Being very social myself, I've never understood it.

 

edit: typo

Edited April 18, 2014 by CauchyProcess

[reinhard]

It felt like I was giving a counseling session and being a life coach  .

 

person A gave me a short course on measure theory which was a bit, different, not a typical topic you would discuss at a restaurant 

 

It was just so awkward.  

You can study measure theory, but you can't really research in it as far as I know (you can use it to research other things).

 

Ask him/her about the Banach-Tarasky paradox, talk how is it that by cutting up the ball and putting it back together you get something different. Start there

[reinhard]

The last time I remember being this confused about math related stuff was when all those upside A's and backwards E's started showing up in my math classes!

 

But seriously--can't you find common ground outside of research/academic interests? I'm not saying you have to, but you also don't have to limit your common ground topics to only research related things! The things that various math grad students I know like are: cooking, making beer, playing softball, celebrating pi day, running marathons, playing board games, etc. Basically, pretty similar interests to many other graduate students and non graduate students too!

Wait, people in math or science DRINK?? I am not aware of this...have I been hanging out with the wrong group?

[TakeruK]

Wait, people in math or science DRINK?? I am not aware of this...have I been hanging out with the wrong group?

 

lol, are you being sarcastic or serious? Sure there are a few people that don't drink at all for personal reasons, but most scientists I meet do drink! I know scientists that make their own wine, beer, and mead. My grad school has a club specifically for making beer and they requested a bunch of funding to make and serve their beer at a school event next month. At conferences, poster sessions often have a cash bar (sometimes you get drink tickets to get a first drink free or something). 

 

I don't think the math/science people I know drink any more/less than the people I know outside of these fields! 

[Quantum Buckyball]

So, person A and I hung out last night and it was fun, we did not talk about anything school/research related stuff 

[reinhard]

lol, are you being sarcastic or serious? Sure there are a few people that don't drink at all for personal reasons, but most scientists I meet do drink! I know scientists that make their own wine, beer, and mead. My grad school has a club specifically for making beer and they requested a bunch of funding to make and serve their beer at a school event next month. At conferences, poster sessions often have a cash bar (sometimes you get drink tickets to get a first drink free or something). 

 

I don't think the math/science people I know drink any more/less than the people I know outside of these fields! 

I am actually being serious...

[CauchyProcess]

Wait, people in math or science DRINK?? I am not aware of this...have I been hanging out with the wrong group?

 

Heavily.

[Eigen]

I've never met a group of people that drink as hard as scientists. We make frats look tame.

I knew a conference that drank a town out of alcohol, and had to have more shipped in by special delivery.

Heck, we serve beer at all of our seminars.....

[the_sheath]

Well, people do drink away their suffering.

 

I'm personally not fond of alcohol, and I do not think it is an "acquired taste"--I do like being buzzed, though.

 

Never seen scientists go hard, though. That's actually a thing?

[Eigen]

There are some legendary stories of multi-million dollar damages following a chemistry talk at Harvard, when there was an open bar.

I don't drink much- I like the taste, I don't like being buzzed.

So I am typically the designated responsible adult, as well as the story keeper.

[the_sheath]

Huh. Story keeper? Never heard of that before. I figured the drunk people keep those stories

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

Why would somebody want to talk about academic research on a date? I'd do everything in my power to not talk/think about those things when I don't need to. I didn't know people lived like that. What's worse than asking him/her about his/her research is that you actually sat there and tried to understand it.