what would you do if you found out your colleague attempted suicide?

[Quantum Buckyball]

Just found out Person A attempted suicide recently, and Person A is currently on antidepressant.

 

Here is the catch, 

 

Person A is very unreasonable, argumentative, rude and like making unnecessary, hostile comments for no reasons. 

 

9/10 of people from Person A's cohort class, and on my floor dislikes Person A, I found out a very good first year student did not apply my research group because he did not want to deal with Person A. 

 

Person A is very intellectual and knowledgeable, however, Person A likes to "lecture" people, including upper-level PhD students and my PI. 

 

I had gotten into many arguments with Person A before and have considered legal action against Person A because I have evidence to prove that Person A purposely contaminated my sample, but my PI stopped me. My PI recommends me to avoid any confrontations.

[bsharpe269]

Do you think that Person A is in danger of committing suicide again?

[Lifesaver]

Color me harsh, but this isn't any of your business. Especially because you weren't friends to begin with. Do you even know whether your source is reliable? Would hate for everyone to act super awkward and ask really out-of-line- questions over a speculative rumor. Are there red flags, warning signs? Does he walk into the room saying he's got plans to kill himself again tonight? Until he displays a cry for help literally in front of you, there isn't much for you to do. If he's on medication, he is already being monitored by a professional. And if your PI is already aware of his funky behavior, what more is there to do?

[Quantum Buckyball]

Color me harsh, but this isn't any of your business. Especially because you weren't friends to begin with. Do you even know whether your source is reliable? Would hate for everyone to act super awkward and ask really out-of-line- questions over a speculative rumor. Are there red flags, warning signs? Does he walk into the room saying he's got plans to kill himself again tonight? Until he displays a cry for help literally in front of you, there isn't much for you to do. If he's on medication, he is already being monitored by a professional. And if your PI is already aware of his funky behavior, what more is there to do?

 

Person A told one of the people in my lab two days ago so I don't think it's just rumor, stuff like this is pretty serious. I do not know if my PI knows about Person A's mental health. All I know is that Person A often to "snap" for no reasons and make it very uncomfortable, intense for everyone in the lab. 

[Quantum Buckyball]

Do you think that Person A is in danger of committing suicide again?

 

I do not know, but I have let my PI know that I didn't feel safe to be alone with Person A because Person A has made many gesture that symbolize choking someone and stabbing. 

[fuzzylogician]

Depending on the situation I'd either contact my PI or stay away. This is not someone who you are close with or that it sounds like you can get to if you'd try approaching them. You feel unsafe as it is--I wouldn't put myself in any more danger. But on the other hand, if you're not sure whether or not your PI (or other faculty, for that matter) are aware of the situation, I think it's worth making sure. This person could be a danger to themselves or others. There may be attempts behind the scenes to get this person help and this kind of report could help the department finally be able to take some necessary action. (It's actually not easy dealing with a student like you describe, once they've been admitted, even if the department is aware of issues. So, more reports and more details could really help them, if they are interested in taking action. I hope that it shouldn't have a negative impact on anyone who reports the behavior, as long as it's done discreetly in a way that shouldn't otherwise harm the person being reported.)

 

ETA: in a very different situation, I've had experience reporting someone who used similar language and (I believe) save them from a suicide attempt. I think it's really important to help if someone actually reaches out to you. I'm less sure about how to deal with rumors, though.

Edited June 14, 2014 by fuzzylogician

[Lifesaver]

If you've already notified your PI about his strange behavior, your PI is aware. Notify them of any new odd behavior/comments, but I would draw the line there. Most people who try to kill themselves and fail don't come bouncing into the lab and announce it to people. Especially those who are serious about it.

Edited June 14, 2014 by Lifesaver

[TakeruK]

I think this is a tough situation and it's hard to determine what to do on your own. I suggest that you get help from on-campus experts. 

 

At my school, our health/counseling center has resources on what to do in various situations related to suicide. For this case, which my school considers as "not in immediate danger", the recommendation is to contact the counseling center and talk to a psychologist yourself and they can help you determine what the next course of action should be. As others said here, this person may be a danger to themselves and/or others, and I think it's important to do something. If I was in this situation I would go to the experts first and as soon as possible. 

 

Rumours are tricky because spreading false information can end up hurting the person you are trying to help. So I am not sure how I would feel going to the PI about rumours, but I agree that it might be a good idea to bring up the strange behaviour. However, I would still go the the counseling center first for confidential help. They can even talk to other people on your behalf if you are afraid that Person A finding out about you telling your PI/department can hurt you.

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

A lot of nuts out there. And most of them seem to be in college. Go figure. 

 

I just got an email from UW that someone started jerking off in the food court. It wasn't even Taco Tuesday.

Edited June 14, 2014 by Gnome Chomsky

[spectastic]

if you try to help that person by recommending counseling or something, he/she might turn around and not be such an entitled misanthrope. if it were anything smaller like depression or something, i wouldn't give a shit, but suicide is serious. I know if that were to happen to someone I know, I would be left wondering if I could have done something.

[spunky]

A lot of nuts out there. And most of them seem to be in college. Go figure. 

 

that's because we're EDUCATED nuts... not just your puerile, run-of-the-mill nuts.

[spectastic]

some nutjob nutted in the cafeteria? that's nuts

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

some nutjob nutted in the cafeteria? that's nuts

I never said he finished. 

 

Apparently, according to the email, he said, "I'm sorry," and pulled his pants back up. I was expecting more of a "my bad." 

Edited June 15, 2014 by Gnome Chomsky

[spectastic]

wait.. who sent you this???

 

and why didn't he finish?

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

wait.. who sent you this???

 

and why didn't he finish?

I'm a student. I get alerts whenever a crime (even of passion) is committed on campus. He stopped when the girl looked up at him. I guess he's a little stage fright. 

[spectastic]

maybe he lost a bet

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

maybe he lost a bet

Too early for rush week. 

[reinhard]

I think getting help for this person might damage his pride and could cause further problems.

[St Andrews Lynx]

I think that the "right thing" to do would be to tell somebody about the attempted suicide. TakeruK's suggestion of the counselling center/mental health support sounds like a good bet. Personally I'm not sure if you should tell your PI or not - if you trust them and they appear capable of handling sensitive information discreetly then it would be a good idea. In this instance I would avoid broaching the matter with the person in question, and would be careful about gossiping with your fellow group members (in case word spreads/get distorted/accidentally reaches the wrong ears).

 

This person doesn't sound like the most stable individual, even if suicidal thoughts aren't their main problem. That's why I would want to create a paper trail. 

[Quantum Buckyball]

I think that the "right thing" to do would be to tell somebody about the attempted suicide. TakeruK's suggestion of the counselling center/mental health support sounds like a good bet. Personally I'm not sure if you should tell your PI or not - if you trust them and they appear capable of handling sensitive information discreetly then it would be a good idea. In this instance I would avoid broaching the matter with the person in question, and would be careful about gossiping with your fellow group members (in case word spreads/get distorted/accidentally reaches the wrong ears).

 

This person doesn't sound like the most stable individual, even if suicidal thoughts aren't their main problem. That's why I would want to create a paper trail. 

 

Person A has been using school's mental health support and that is where Person A got the antidepressant prescription from. It has reached to the point that everyone in the lab started ignoring Person A's existence  . 

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

Person A has been using school's mental health support and that is where Person A got the antidepressant prescription from. It has reached to the point that everyone in the lab started ignoring Person A's existence  . 

Because that's the best way to treat someone who's on the verge of suicide. 

[bhr]

It strikes me that you (OP) seem to want to use this against "Person A", in which case you are an awful person and not looking out for them at all.

[Lisa44201]

Person A has been using school's mental health support and that is where Person A got the antidepressant prescription from. It has reached to the point that everyone in the lab started ignoring Person A's existence  . 

Then there's nothing for you to do. The person is actively under the care of mental health personnel. Unless there is a direct threat to you or someone else, there's no one for you to report it to. 

[TakeruK]

Person A has been using school's mental health support and that is where Person A got the antidepressant prescription from. It has reached to the point that everyone in the lab started ignoring Person A's existence  . 

 

The school's counseling center / mental health support system is not just for people directly suffering from depression, anxiety and other mental health disorders. At least at my school, they also are there to support those who work with and/or may be affected by people such as Person A as well.

 

In my opinion, I think if you want to do anything further to help Person A, you should definitely go talk to the counseling center and seek their expert advice. Even if you two are not friends and given your history, it's not realistic that you will be this person's support system, it still sounds like you are not sure what to do next and also you might be in a unsafe or uncomfortable situation. Since you are asking for help/advice, I would recommend that you talk to the experts at your school who are probably much better equipped to help you determine what to do next than us random people on the internet!

 

Edit: To clarify, I am saying that if you want to talk to anyone at all about this, either because you are concerned for Person A or because you are concerned for yourself, I think the best people to talk to are your campus counseling center / mental health support center. If you want to stay out of it completely, that is probably fine too since it sounds like they have already started talking to the mental health center. My suggestion to go to the health center is not to "report" Person A, but to get help for yourself if you are concerned about what to do next. Their answer might be nothing at all, but my point is that if anyone knows, it would be them!

Edited June 16, 2014 by TakeruK

[Quantum Buckyball]

It strikes me that you (OP) seem to want to use this against "Person A", in which case you are an awful person and not looking out for them at all.

 

This is completely uncalled for. I was simply asking advice on how to handle stuff like this because I have never experienced it before.

 

If I was truly an awful person and want to use this against Person A I would have complained to the departmental chair already or filed a legal case against Person A.