Doubting if I can do this...

[ERR_Alpha]

So I'm already struggling in my first semester. Everyone keeps saying it only gets worse from here on out... if so, I know there's no way I can make it through without having serious mental health issues.

 

Is anyone else feeling the same way? Any advice from people who have been here before? I know my health problems probably aren't helping matters... but I can't help but feel helpless/terrified that I'm already having a harder time than my peers.

[peachypie]

Its interesting, because in my program everyone says first semester is the hardest though it doesn't seem that way considering quals are next year!

Anyway, I think if you are really struggling in coursework then I would talk to an adviser ASAP since at least for my program a grade under a B is a failure and you won't be able to proceed.  I assume you are under a similar situation, but not sure.  Anyway talk to them first, see if you can figure out what may work better.  It takes a bit of time to get used to the whole thing and figure out what you can and can't handle and how you can best proceed in day to day life as well as school.  Talk to other students if you can to see if they have the similar feelings as you (a lot of times they do!) and also it is a good opportunity to see if they have tips or tricks to relieving stress and anxiety over the difficult obstacles of graduate school!

Best of luck.

[GeoDUDE!]

Do not compare yourself to your peers.

[ERR_Alpha]

Do not compare yourself to your peers.

Unfortunately, I have to. In my five credit class, the average is the border between an A- and B+, and anyone within one standard deviation is guaranteed a B. So I know since I'm below, everyone is doing better than me essentially. I'm basically being graded on how well I can "hang"- or not hang in my case. I'm not failing with flying colors, but I will be lucky to sneak out with a B. I'm just concerned because all of the older grads talk about how easy this class was.I'm also concerned about my committee asking me about the bad grade (anything lower than an A- in this class is considered questionable) or it affecting future grant apps.

[iphi]

So I'm already struggling in my first semester. Everyone keeps saying it only gets worse from here on out... if so, I know there's no way I can make it through without having serious mental health issues.

 

Is anyone else feeling the same way? Any advice from people who have been here before? I know my health problems probably aren't helping matters... but I can't help but feel helpless/terrified that I'm already having a harder time than my peers.

 

Is there someone you can talk to? Most universities have counseling services available. Honestly, grades are not worth killing yourselves over. As long as you meet the minimum average... who will look at your transcript when you're done? Our profs always tell us grades don't really matter once we graduate. Which doesn't stop us from trying out best, but it helps relieve the pressure a little!

[Eigen]

In general, how difficult classes are depends a lot on your background, and isn't necessarily indicative of future success. 

 

People with strong coursework backgrounds from undergrad will breeze through, people without rigorous backgrounds may not- but honestly, past classes, you're so much in a specific area of work that how you do in your general classes doesn't matter a lot. 

 

How much you can "hang" with people during coursework is pretty much meaningless for your future. You need to do "well", but no one's going to be comparing. How well you hang in terms of research productivity in later years? That's the comparison that matters when it comes to getting letters from your committee. 

 

I've never heard anyone talk about the first year being easiest- it's almost always the most difficult. The material may be easy, but you're having to balance more things at once then you will for quite some time afterwards. 

[starofdawn]

ERR_Alpha, I'm in the same boat. I think I did poorly on a midterm, even though I feel like I understand the material. I know this happens all the time, but when you're in the thick of it, everyone seems to be doing much better! And it's hard not to compare yourself to others, since professors compare us to each other (in terms of averaging the grade).

 

Eigen, your thoughts are comforting. Thank you.

[St Andrews Lynx]

I've seen people who got straight As in their coursework (undergraduate/graduate) do poorly when it comes to handling their own research program or "academic scholar"-type exercises.

 

And there are people like me who consistently sit just above the failing grade limit in their classes...but who do well in their research and (occasionally) kick ass at it.

 

Then there are some people who get 98% scores in all their classes and kick ass at their research without breaking a sweat; or who just aren't cut out for grad school in any sense. 

 

...But anyway, my point is (i) there isn't an overwhelmingly strong correlation between success in grad school classes & success in research, nor does a poor performance in one mean that you can't succeed in the other (ii) you can compensate for any weakness in grad school by playing to your strengths, whatever they are (maybe you are great at searching through the literature for new research ideas, maybe you are the only person in your group who understands how to run computational calculations/analyze Western blots).

 

The mental pressures in grad school change as you progress through the program from coursework to full-time research. I think that people can find research more mentally challenging because there are no grades given for your independent studies, you really are on your own. It takes a lot of stamina to cope with shifting goal posts and a constant stream of setbacks. Your mental health is important, and you should think about how it will be affected by different sorts of pressures. Personally, I don't believe grad school is worth ruining your mental health over - but it is up to you to decide what you can cope with.

[ERR_Alpha]

Thanks for the reassuring words everyone. I got another exam back I didn't do so hot on and it's nice to have this to calm my fraying nerves.

At this point I just have my fingers crossed for a B so I can move on from this horrible class as much as possible.

[ss2player]

Thanks for the reassuring words everyone. I got another exam back I didn't do so hot on and it's nice to have this to calm my fraying nerves.

At this point I just have my fingers crossed for a B so I can move on from this horrible class as much as possible.

 

ERR, you're one smart cookie and I wouldn't let this discourage you. Some tales from my current first semester may bring solidarity:

 

My school put in a new curriculum this year that has one massive, 7 credit, 20 hour a week class that covers all our grad school class requirements. We still have to take some classes for whatever specific program we join, but overall it's much condensed from the convoluted system they had before. Anyway, we have 40+ folks in here and they all come from different skill backgrounds, which has been reflected in our grade distribution: the people with computational backgrounds are particularly struggling. I'm doing well (A average), however I'm also taking immunology at the same time and it's kicking my ASS...just squeaking out a B right now. It makes me feel overwhelmed and dumb that I can't ace a class I've aced before AND have 4 years research experience in that field. Part of it is the big class takes SO MUCH time, plus we're doing rotations.

 

Anyway, this is my mindset too: "At this point I just have my fingers crossed for a B so I can move on from this horrible class as much as possible." People will not remember you getting a B in some class your first year, but they WILL remember what research accomplishments you've made as well as your scientific thought process. Publish well, network well, and leave this class in the dust. You'll be continually learning through your PhD, believe in yourself just like we do!

[Eigen]

I only have one B throughout undergrad and grad, and it's one of the grades I'm most happy with. Some classes are just really freakin' hard!