Live by yourself or find a roommate in the program?? sugestions?

[Dammke1118]

I am moving about 5 hours away for grad school, anyone have prior experience living on their own in a strange town? is it a good idea?

 

Any input would be appreciated!

 

Thanks!

[moosemoose]

I'm going to be living by myself. I really value having my own space where I don't have to worry about someone's dirty dishes in the sink, can lounge around in my pajamas all weekend if desired, etc. I know some people like having roommates for the financial benefits or to prevent feeling too isolated. Have you lived on your own before?

[CBG321]

I'm curious as well!  I'd love to hear people's thoughts on it.  I would want one just to have someone to potentially hang out with/talk to.  I'm very social so living alone and doing school 24/7 might make me depressed ahha.

[neucool]

I'm so torn. I love having housemates like I do now, but just because I know them and know their living habits, we're honest with each other about what's working and what's not, we respect each other's space, etc. But I don't know if having someone around is worth rolling the dice on someone I might not get along with, might stress me out with their dishes in the sink or having lots of people over, things like that. 

 

So, I might try living by myself, and if I find myself very isolated I can always live somewhere else after a year. Plus, by then maybe I'll know someone that I feel like I could live with.

[SLPosteriorCricoarytenoid]

I'm also in the same boat. I don't know anyone going to the program I will likely be going to. I did four years of my undergraduate with roommates. I loved my roommates, but man, 5 girls in a house got to be a little much...Especially with some that had never cleaned a day in their life. I felt like I was their surrogate mother at times picking up after them and cleaning their messes. I think I am going to go the route of living alone in graduate school unless I find some like-minded people who are fairly clean, respectful, and trustworthy to pay rent on time. I don't think I could take the gamble of moving in with a stranger. You never know what you could get stuck with if you sign a lease with someone you don't know.

 

I have a feeling I would get bored living alone though too  . I also think I may get a little creeped out at night being alone in an apartment/house. But then again, there's also the financial benefit of roommates too...

[rising_star]

This thread might help you: 

[Dammke1118]

I have not lived by myself  before. My first year of undergrad I got paired with a random roommate, we were total opposites and she was awful to me. So I requested to be switched to another dorm room. I got three new roommate and got bullied. the next year I found 2 girls to live with one of them in my classes and we got along but there was always those petty things like dishes or cleaning and then they held little grudges. After that year I moved home and commuted to campus because I was just done, and wanted to save money. I have been living at home since. But now that I am moving 5 hours away I am just thinking I might be better off living alone. I have heard that you spend most of your time at school anyways. I did when I was in undergrad (especially when I had clinic). Most of the time after school I would get home late and just go to my room because I was stressed an exhausted. So it might be really nice to live alone, have quiet time and not have to worry about if my room mate thinks I am a slob because I haven't got to the dishes yet. 

 

But yet, I am moving to West Virginia and the city the school is in is pretty run down. I will be living in a part of the town that is safer and nicer about ten minutes away, but the fact of driving and entering my apartment alone and being alone that far away from home tends to scare me. 

 

I plan on only doing this for the first year. I am hoping to meet someone in the department that I get along with well and get a two bedroom apartment to save some money on rent. 

[Holly44]

I second everyone's comments about living alone the first year and then potentially finding a roommate in the program for the following year. That will give you more than enough time to feel everybody out and give you a sense of who they are. I've never lived alone either, but I tend to value my quiet time and would probably be annoyed if someone were being loud while I was trying to study. 

[4343432434]

I've had some pretty bad roommates and some awesome ones, it's hard to know until you really know someone! Then again I live in NYC where you have to have roommate through your 20s in most cases! I'm probably moving to California for grad school so with such a drastic change and the scary idea of not knowing anyone I think a roommate may be good ! I'm torn myself.. 

[esny811]

I have not lived by myself before. My first year of undergrad I got paired with a random roommate, we were total opposites and she was awful to me. So I requested to be switched to another dorm room. I got three new roommate and got bullied. the next year I found 2 girls to live with one of them in my classes and we got along but there was always those petty things like dishes or cleaning and then they held little grudges. After that year I moved home and commuted to campus because I was just done, and wanted to save money. I have been living at home since. But now that I am moving 5 hours away I am just thinking I might be better off living alone. I have heard that you spend most of your time at school anyways. I did when I was in undergrad (especially when I had clinic). Most of the time after school I would get home late and just go to my room because I was stressed an exhausted. So it might be really nice to live alone, have quiet time and not have to worry about if my room mate thinks I am a slob because I haven't got to the dishes yet.

But yet, I am moving to West Virginia and the city the school is in is pretty run down. I will be living in a part of the town that is safer and nicer about ten minutes away, but the fact of driving and entering my apartment alone and being alone that far away from home tends to scare me.

I plan on only doing this for the first year. I am hoping to meet someone in the department that I get along with well and get a two bedroom apartment to save some money on rent.

I'm an undergrad at WVU! I have yet to hear if I got into the program but if you want any suggestions with where to live or the program at all feel free to private message me.

[Holly44]

I've had some pretty bad roommates and some awesome ones, it's hard to know until you really know someone! Then again I live in NYC where you have to have roommate through your 20s in most cases! I'm probably moving to California for grad school so with such a drastic change and the scary idea of not knowing anyone I think a roommate may be good ! I'm torn myself.. 

Where in California are you looking to go? I've lived in Southern California my whole life so let me know if I can offer you any advice regarding where to live. It isn't as expensive as NYC, but california apartments are still pretty pricey, especially if you're in orange county or los angeles. 

[S_Colorado]

I know that I don't like living alone. I can get really isolated if I don't have other people to talk to. I decided to try to find roommates but wanted to find roommates in other graduate programs so that I would have a larger network in the area. I found one roommate through the university housing website, where you could find people, and then I found another and a place to live by visiting the area. My other roommate works full time and so it is great because our schedules end up complementing each other. I like to work at home and have it be quiet, and my other graduate student roommate likes to work on campus so it works out for us all.

 

I think if you are going to try to find roommates, I think the key is being really upfront about everything in the beginning. Be honest about how clean you want things, be honest about noise level in the house, be honest about guests, be honest about alcohol/drug usage.

 

If you want to live alone, that's awesome too, but in a new town, if you want to make friends, you might have to work a little harder if you are living alone.

Edited March 19, 2015 by S_Colorado

[cmy33]

I honestly hate living with roommates especially when they do not respect boundaries and have people over all the time. Yes I have had nightmare room mates. My last year of college, I lived on my own and loved it. I don't think I could ever have room mates again.

[jpiccolo]

I definitely want my own place. I've been burned lately with roommates - people never doing dishes, eating my food, etc. I'd be nervous about moving in with strangers again. I spend most of my time at home alone anyway; I'm ready to just be able to clean and organize things the way I want it. There's a chance I'd consider one roommate if I got to know them well enough for second year or if the rent would be pretty cheap. I'm mostly concerned about avoiding undergrads who are partying all the time or dangerous/run down neighborhoods. 

[dc2bslp]

Maybe it's just luck but random craigslist roommates have not only saved me tens of thousands over my lifetime, but I've become best friends with nearly all of them!! Lifelong friends. I would hate to live alone, even if I could afford it haha. But that's just me.

[MangoSmoothie]

It really is going to depend on the person. I'm a type of person that doesn't do well with roommates, because I have my own bad habits I'm not really willing to give up, but I'd feel bad if I did something to make them mad, and they'll have theirs that will annoy me as well. I've lived on my own for 6 years now, and I haven't had a problem. It's not terrible lonely, since because you live alone, you're a bit more likely to seek out social activities and plan events with other people. There's been some surveys done about that, actually. With roommates, socializing is across the hall, but when you live alone you need to make a little bit more effort. It doesn't require much effort, though, and I've never felt lonely, other than maybe the first week in a new place when I don't know anyone.

 

I'd also be tempted not to live with someone in the program, since I don't have a high tolerance for how long I can be around people. This was proven to me when I travelled abroad with a friend I'd never spent more than a day with, and on the 3rd day of our trip, I just wanted to be done with her. We're still good friends, but I don't know if I can spend that much time with my friends, let alone with a stranger, and I'm not going to commit to a year without knowing. If I'm seeing a person every day in class, then at home, no matter who you are, I'm going to start getting irritated with you, and that's no fun for either of us.

 

Maybe that makes me sound unfriendly, but I'm really not. I just prefer not to live with my friends and be able to go home and be alone. Not all people are okay being alone though, so if you're not, don't live alone. I do get scared sometimes when I hear bumps in the night, but that's one reason I want to get a cat; if I have a cat, I can blame spooky or suspicious noises on the cat. Generally though, I've rarely been scared, and I've lived alone in new towns, and new towns in new countries. Once you do it once, you get over the apprehension of living alone, I think.

 

I am jealous of the financial benefit of having a roommate, and for some people that's huge. I think it's worth a little more to live alone though, in my case.

[DeWi]

I agree with you MangoSmoothie, I'm a very friendly person but I am also one of those people who needs ample alone time to recharge. I used to have roommates and I felt so guilty staying in my room with the door closed and not hanging out with them all the time, or I would get irritated when I needed to get something done and everyone else was partying. I've been on my own with my cat for 2 years now and I couldn't be happier. My apartment is my own personal space that I can run and organize how I want, but I still have a good social life! I'll definitely be living alone

[Holly44]

I agree with you MangoSmoothie, I'm a very friendly person but I am also one of those people who needs ample alone time to recharge. I used to have roommates and I felt so guilty staying in my room with the door closed and not hanging out with them all the time, or I would get irritated when I needed to get something done and everyone else was partying. I've been on my own with my cat for 2 years now and I couldn't be happier. My apartment is my own personal space that I can run and organize how I want, but I still have a good social life! I'll definitely be living alone

Ditto to everything you said. I can be very outgoing and social, but I also need time alone to recharge and a lot of people just don't get that. For those of you that are scared of living alone because of the social aspect, it could always be a possibility to get an apartment in the same building as a friend or fellow student. Living down the hall or a floor up is convenient enough to hang out, but you'd avoid all of the normal roommate drama like cleanliness, noise, etc. 

[CBG321]

I enjoy living with people but i've lived with that person that needs their alone time.  If you are aware you are that kind of person definitely live alone!  It is just as hard for the person that doesn't need the alone time to be around someone who does.   It is like walking on eggshells 24/7 when you live with the better off alone types.

 

I say write down things that you know bug you and that you know might bug others about yourself (dishes in the sink) (shower for 2 hours haha) and just have an honest conversation and see what kind of person they are and if you are compatible roomies.  If I go out of state I'm going to do my best to find someone to save me some money!  But being older i'm less scared about letting people know my bad habits b/c it's easier to be up front!  

[slplivin]

How does everyone feel about finding a roommate within the program vs finding a roommate who is not SLP? I know that we will be spending a lot of time with our classmates throughout the day so would it be too much to have your home life be SLP filled as well? What are everyones thoughts?

[j_rae]

How does everyone feel about finding a roommate within the program vs finding a roommate who is not SLP? I know that we will be spending a lot of time with our classmates throughout the day so would it be too much to have your home life be SLP filled as well? What are everyones thoughts?

Granted I haven't even gotten into a program yet, but that's actually something I thought of. I'm the type of person that gets tired of people VERY quickly, and I feel that if I live with a person AND have to spend every day with them in classes as well, there is a very good chance I will end up hating them for some petty reason. Living with someone in another program also increases the chance of having different schedules (so you're not home at all the same times) and broadens your horizons for social interaction, since their friends will most likely be in their program... so you get to meet/hang out with their friends also (if you guys get along, of course). Those are just my thoughts though

[rising_star]

I lived with people in my department and people not in my department in grad school. They each had their pros and cons but my preference was not living with people in my program.

[SLPosteriorCricoarytenoid]

How does everyone feel about finding a roommate within the program vs finding a roommate who is not SLP? I know that we will be spending a lot of time with our classmates throughout the day so would it be too much to have your home life be SLP filled as well? What are everyones thoughts?

 

That's a great question. I can definitely see how it could get a little annoying living with someone you are with all day, every day. I think I would personally maybe avoid roommates from class unless I meet someone who I really click with. I would hate to jeopardize a school friendship by moving in with someone from class and potentially ending up hating them (not to mention then you'd be stuck seeing them every day at class). Awkward. I think that would be the worst scenario. 

 

I hope I can just make ends meet by having a small studio apartment for myself. Having my own place will eliminate the stress that comes along with roommates. I have had my fair share of being a "house mom" for roommates. 

[Holly44]

Is anyone familiar with getting apartments with less than stellar credit? Do grad students typically need a cosigner? I likely won't be working while in school so I'm not sure how desirable of a tenant I would be

[Please_try_again]

Is anyone familiar with getting apartments with less than stellar credit? Do grad students typically need a cosigner? I likely won't be working while in school so I'm not sure how desirable of a tenant I would be

Thank you for asking this! I'm wondering the same thing. I'm sure I have okay credit, but it's definitely not amazing. I'll also be paying for everything with loans, and I don't know how landlords will look at that...