In Dire Need of Reality Check

[random_grad]

Although I am not exactly eating caviar on my stipend, there are certainly perks the university itself offers which I realize I have quickly started taking for granted, e.g. politeness of staff, high-tech capabilities of facilities, healthcare benefits and the general well-kept environment on campus. It's all so nice that whenever I encounter reality it's a shock for me. Reality in the shape of an arrogant plumber, grumpy bureaucrat, cold basement, dirt-ridden side-walk. Living off-campus certainly helps getting that reality check, but sometimes I wonder if I shouldn't just let it go and enjoy the privilege of an academic environment. Have you experienced any of that? A disconnect with reality? Do you seek out ways to keep a foot on the ground or do you indulge in the delights of the ivory tower? What is your reality check?

 

[ExponentialDecay]

Graduating and realizing you're so far behind the arrogant plumber and grumpy bureaucrat in salary, retirement savings, relationships, and work-life balance that you may never catch up.

[fuzzylogician]

6 hours ago, random_grad said:

Have you experienced any of that? A disconnect with reality? Do you seek out ways to keep a foot on the ground or do you indulge in the delights of the ivory tower? What is your reality check?

Yeah, my school was a lot like that. Cherish it while you can. Eventually you will graduate and move to an institution where the secretaries aren't as knowledgeable or helpful, the buildings aren't as pretty, the heating doesn't work as well, etc. Grad school is a special time. You're also in many ways sheltered from the "real world," and that too won't last. To me knowing that is all the reality check I needed, I don't know what else you'd want to do. You always want to do your best to get ahead and be prepared for when you graduate, but I don't see why you can't take advantage of all the wonderful things your school has to offer and enjoy it while you can. In fact, being there, I feel like you own it to yourself to make the most of the resources, because chances are you won't have access to them again later in your life. 

[KappaRoss]

You put in a lot of work to be there, though.

Edited March 5, 2016 by mikeck

[random_grad]

20 hours ago, ExponentialDecay said:

Graduating and realizing you're so far behind the arrogant plumber and grumpy bureaucrat in salary, retirement savings, relationships, and work-life balance that you may never catch up.

exactly! that' why I think the plumber was arrogant, as I bet his home is fancier than mine. he must think I'm some kind of useless low-life who deserves no respect.

16 hours ago, fuzzylogician said:

Cherish it while you can.

I don't want the transition to be too much of a shock either, because then I won't have free mental health and whatnot. That's why I'm thinking that perhaps it would be wise to have some way of reminding myself of how things really are. On the other hand, it's nice to have a sort of 2nd childhood if you will.

10 hours ago, mikeck said:

You put in a lot of work to be there, though.

it evens out due to pleasure, as compared to say when I worked in an office and didn't put as much work but didn't enjoy it as much either.

[AP]

Absolutely! 

As an international student, my reality was completely different. Some people in the community of fellow countrymen have accused me of living in a bubble (they were two people who didn't work and were on facebook all the time so I was puzzled). Anyway, one thing I like to do is trying hard to get non-academic friendships. My city is vibrant and so it is very easy to meet new people, especially through meet ups. This semester I wanted to learn something new so I am taking up a new hobby off campus as well. Finally, having a church group also helps me be "down to earth". 

On the other hand, at some point, we have to navigate the other realities. For example, I had to go three times to the DMV to get my driver's license. I had to go several times to do chores with my consulate. And so on and so forth. I tried dating someone who was not a student but it didn't work out (not because they were not in academia, simply because it didn't work out). 

Cheers!

AP

[Cheshire_Cat]

Well, I walk past homeless people every day on my way to school, so that is a reality check.   Academia really is a socialist utopia. (Unfortunately funded by rising student debt)  I didn't realize how many resources were at my disposal until I went back to school.  But public transit, bad coffee, and the occasional armed robberies that occur on our campus sure bring me back to the real world.  

OTOH, the other day an aquaintence randomly gave me money to treat myself to dinner, and I was shopping at Walmart yesterday and a nice older lady helped me with my groceries, and today there was a cute kid and her dad eating lunch at the table beside me, and it was adorable.  These things remind me that sometimes reality isn’t that bad.

Edited March 8, 2016 by Cheshire_Cat

[juilletmercredi]

A second childhood? A socialist utopia? Everyone else's graduate school experiences must be really different from mine.

Graduate school (and academia) is the real world. It's not some respite from it or an imaginary place; it's just a subset of the "real world" that functions in a space of privilege in many senses. It's no less or more real than being a hedge fund manager or a CEO or a corporate lawyer or a marketing manager. Those people also experience extraordinary privilege by virtue of the money and status that they have, but they still have "real" experiences. Reality comes in many different forms, and it's not all cold basements and dirty sidewalks.

I didn't feel like I was sheltered from "the real world" in graduate school; I existed in it. I had to pay my rent and feed myself like everyone else; I saved and worried about emergencies; I took public transit; I dealt with grumpy administrators and not getting paid on time and issues of being the only woman of color in my department. There are certainly privileges to working in academia, but there are downsides, too, and it doesn't remove you from living in reality. I think you should just enjoy whatever privileges you have, while remembering that there are downsides to everything and that you don't live in some made-up fantasy land but actual real life.

As far as academia being a socialist utopia...no, it's totally not. First of all, many universities get a lot of their funding from private interests, charitable donations, and contracts with corporations. A lot of the medical research going on on your campuses, for example, may be funded by drug companies (or overseen by drug companies, or bought out by drug companies). Many private foundations give grants to researchers to investigate issues of interest to them. And especially as you ascend up the research ladder, gaining the money and resources to conduct your research looks more and more capitalist. And it's definitely not a utopia - academics are no less likely to be grumpy and disagreeable than any other employees out there. They're just people. People who generally have a job they like and are passionate about, which is great, but people nonetheless.

[spunky]

I've always kinda secretly perceived grad school like random_grad. Like this is my extended stay in some nerdy, Disneyland for grown-ups where the work is interesting, the people are smart and (at least in my case) I think I get paid a lot more than what I deserve

But borrowing a quote from a favourite movie of mine, Silent Hill 1:

I think that applies to a lot of graduate students out there.... ESPECIALLY the 30 years part

Edited March 18, 2016 by spunky