Someone is reading my application right now

[DBear]

It just dawned on me today that at least one of my applications (or maybe more) is being scrutinized already and may have already ended up in the trash!

I finished all my applications relatively early and all my friends keep saying "oh, you must feel so relieved!"

On the contrary, my brain keeps coming up with new things to freak out about. Honestly, I never knew how creative I was until now  

Just needed to get that off my chest.

Anyone else developing extreme paranoia? 

[stereopticons]

I'm with you. I felt better when I had applications to submit. At least something was in my control. Yesterday, I spent an hour checking all my application status pages to make sure everything was received even though I've already done that and knew it was. Today, I'm worrying that my SOP wasn't good enough. At least you're not alone?

[DBear]

19 minutes ago, stereopticons said:

I'm with you. I felt better when I had applications to submit. At least something was in my control. Yesterday, I spent an hour checking all my application status pages to make sure everything was received even though I've already done that and knew it was. Today, I'm worrying that my SOP wasn't good enough. At least you're not alone?

It makes me feel much better knowing that I'm not the only one going slightly bonkers. 

I totally agree with you that it was better actually working on the applications. At least then I could update my spreadsheet and feel productive. Now all I do is "keep a word, drop a word", check all application status pages even though I know for a fact they are exactly the same, stalk my tardy lor professor, read random posts here and then go back to "keep a word"........ 

I've decided that my writing sample is trash. I think once I get myself to snap out of that, I'll go back to thinking that my SOP is trash and imagine ad comms scoffing at it......GAH! 

 

[syazanazura]

Was like that on Monday. The department I applied for sent me an email last week saying "the faculty will be meeting on December 12th to discuss all applications, and we will let you know of your decision by December 19th."

Well, naturally, the whole day on Dec 12th I was restless as hell, knowing that they might be talking about me and my SOP and my recommendations at that precise moment and I was just, "F**********".

Though, I did get an email later that day (~4pm-ish) saying that they recommended me for admissions to the program, and need my official transcripts to finalize the offer, so yeah, good news

Just hang in there people <3 We'll get through this!

[DBear]

@syazanazura that's awesome!!!! Congratulations! Can I ask when you submitted the application? Sounds like a really fast turnaround if you've already gotten a decision.

If I got an email like that, I'd be muttering expletives all day!

[stereopticons]

Turns out someone WAS reading my application when I replied to this. I left for lunch and came back and had a email asking for a phone interview! Now I have something concrete to focus on. 

Also, word games may be the only way I'm maintaining sanity. 

[DBear]

@stereopticons I'm so doing a happy dance for my word game buddy! Best of luck, break a leg and all that good stuff! 

Now you've given me something new to worry about: what if I get an interview and I completely bomb it

 

[stereopticons]

11 minutes ago, DBear said:

@stereopticons I'm so doing a happy dance for my word game buddy! Best of luck, break a leg and all that good stuff! 

Now you've given me something new to worry about: what if I get an interview and I completely bomb it

 

You'll do awesome, I'm sure! But yeah, now that's what I'm worried about!

[syazanazura]

1 hour ago, DBear said:

@syazanazura that's awesome!!!! Congratulations! Can I ask when you submitted the application? Sounds like a really fast turnaround if you've already gotten a decision.

If I got an email like that, I'd be muttering expletives all day!

Thank you! I submitted the application sometime mid-November, though the deadline was December 1st. On their website, they said that applications submitted by December 1st will be reviewed in January (they have multiple deadlines), but somehow I got mine sooner so I was stoked! 

(The school is also where I'm currently doing my undergrad, but a different department since I'm switching to Education for my graduate school as compared to doing a Business major for my undergrad, so wasn't sure if that helped)

[LadyScientist]

I'm definitely riding the anxiety roller-coaster right now myself. And as much as I love this forum, hearing that everyone else is getting interviews and offers already makes me feel incredibly overwhelmed-- yet I still keep checking the forum to see how everyone else is doing? I'm a mess. I didn't apply to any schools on the East coast (and it seems like they tend to send their letters out earlier), but knowing people are already hearing back about their applications has me second-guessing every application I submitted... Especially since I have not heard anything from any of the schools I applied to yet. It just gives me a sinking feeling.

I want to hear back about my applications because I am anxious... But at the same time... Do I really want to know? I am struggling to keep myself occupied-- now that my semester is over, applications are submitted, and my conferences are over, I feel like I am just sitting here in a holding pattern. Here's hoping we all start hearing things soon... The wait has been brutal! 

[Sanshui]

with you. Don't worry. I know how to comfort others, but I am not able to comfort myself.

[dpowe003]

Definitely feeling the anxiety! I submitted my end of my application in November, but one of my recommenders was taking a while. The program coordinator for the one PhD I applied to sent me an e-mail (before their deadilne) saying they were still waiting on that last letter for my application to be complete. When my last recommender was finally done, the program coordinator sent me another email saying they received everything. Still before the deadline. I've been doing the "is that significant?!" game in my head.

The deadline has since passed and I'm super nervous because I need this application to go well. I'm from the Sacramento CA area, and I've been out of state in Texas for the past 2 years working on my masters in forensic science. I really want to return home and stay there, thus the only PhD program I applied to was the PhD in Pharmacology/Toxicology at UC Davis. I really want to do more in depth toxicology research that's beyond the scope of my current program, and UC Davis would really work well for me because not only am I local, but the program is awesome and it has so many amazing resources & faculty for the kind of research I want to do. My masters program has still given me some good experiences and I feel prepared for the work involved in a PhD. I just want to study my interests more in depth.

I have a few job applications in otherwise for plan B, but nothing too promising right now after my May 2017 MS graduation. I'm hoping I don't need a plan C! I really want my plan A PhD application to work out. I'm so excited about it but I'm super nervous at the same time.

[Yanaka]

I'm trying not to think about it too much...

[stereopticons]

@dpowe003 I'm with you wanting to leave Texas ? I've been here 2.5 years and I'm sooo ready to go, well, anywhere else. Preferably East Coast. Best of luck to you!!

[GeorgeC07]

I submitted my applications about ten days ago, and till now nothing, only emails that told me they had received the applications. =。=They simply don't give out any information or feedbacks. Others are getting interviews while I have to wait without knowing anything, and this adds to my anxiety, which is supposed to be alleviating after the submission. But, I guess I have nothing to do anyway. Bah, this is depressing.

[avflinsch]

The anxiety only increases after submission - there is nothing you can do but wait. I think that this is one of the reasons that my LOR writers all said something along the lines of there is no reason to submit too early, nothing is even going to be looked at until after the submission deadline, and that procrastination is a good thing in this case.

That said, I ended up submitting a month early for several reasons
Deadline is Jan 15, I submitted Dec 13, because I knew that I would get absolutely nothing accomplished during the winter break -- too many other things going on then.
My LOR writers are not all that busy during the break, so I figured that they would have time to write the letters, they all mentioned that they would probably not even start to write them until after the last classes in December.
I do tend to do school related things early, family, full time job and other things always get in the way if I wait too long...

 

[stereopticons]

I was expecting this week to be somewhat quiet on the results front given that it's winter break in most places, but so much has been posted the last two days! Nowhere I've applied to, of course, but still many posts. 

[CoffeeFueledAnxiety]

From last years records the programs I am applying to start sending out invites mid January. Knowing this does not help much with my anxiety what with so many people keep getting invites from so many other programs with the same deadline. I am thankful that I have a job keeping me busy during the day, otherwise I would totally be an anxiety-ridden mess by the time January comes. 

[GeorgeC07]

@stereopticonsOkay, so my friend who's already a phd candidate in the US told me that he got his first offer in mid Jan and an interview from that same school two days before the offer. He also told me not to expect anything before January since the staff members and the faculties are all on Christmas vacation. So, it seems that I've got more time to be anxious……

[PhDorBUST]

Thank GOD there's somewhere to talk about this because none of my friends are applying to doctoral programs, and I'm pretty sure they're tired of hearing about it. I submitted everything before December 1st; I think one program's priority deadline was 12/1 so I just made that my deadline for all of them. And now I'm waiting. And obsessively checking my applications statuses to see if anything has changed. And constantly checking my email just in case. 

It doesn't help that I am also waiting to hear about scholarships and a graduate assistantship I applied for...And I'm sick, and I'm bored as hell. 

Can someone just anesthetize me until I have a response from every program?

[stereopticons]

@PhDorBUST bam bam bam bam I wanna be sedated  

@GeorgeC07 yeah, it just seems like there's so much variation by school. I figure I'm just going to be extremely anxious for the next several months. 

[Yanaka]

@PhDorBUST I'm not bored because I have finals to study for, and so far my grades are far from what I want them to be... However, I'm sick too and literally can't speak since yesterday. I have laryngitis and have only been able to whisper since yesterday--right when my mom arrived for her stay! It's pretty fun, because she can't help but whisper as well  

She and I spent some time over-analyzing a thank you + informative email I received from Berkeley's Grad Office--there was nothing behind it of course, however: 1-I received it three times; 2-I received it 14 days after submission; 3-she used a strange (really, it was not) term that we deemed ambiguous. We thought they might have already weeded out some of the received applications, and then sent the email to the first selection of candidates... And since I received the same email three times, my mom thought they had already made three categories... Funny and desperate we are... It was probably an innocent mistake, and Ms Richmond was just being nice and sweet as usual!!

Edited December 21, 2016 by Yanaka

[DBear]

I feel like starting this thread was my good deed for the week -

Another weird habit I've developed is trying to rack up good karma which I hope the universe will put toward my applications... Haha... So I've been trying to be super helpful.. doing pro bono work etc. Just to get some good karma.

A couple of nights ago, a taxi rear ended me (was only a fender scratcher, not even a fender bender) and I was so annoyed because 1)dude was driving dangerously 2) it was snowing and I was anxious to get home before the roads started freezing and 3) it was 1 in the morning. So he offered me 20 bucks to get it buffed and I demanded double (my car's got a rear view dashcam thingy) and he gave it to me. 

Immediately I felt bad, poor dude's just trying to make a living, it wasn't even that bad, I shoulda honked etc and I started worrying that me being mean was gonna come and bite me in the @ss, so I gave the money to my mom and asked her to donate it to her church...

When you're GPA ain't so hot, can't hurt trying to build up some good karma :/ I'm a loser, I know.

[stereopticons]

You're not a loser! Nothing wrong with good karma. Probably more productive than obsessing over one tiny thing I said in a phone interview two days ago. 

[DBear]

2 minutes ago, stereopticons said:

You're not a loser! Nothing wrong with good karma. Probably more productive than obsessing over one tiny thing I said in a phone interview two days ago. 

The interview already happened?! I'm not even going to do the whole "Im sure you did great, don't worry" thing (though my gut tells me this is true) because Oh gawd, I'd be replaying it over and over in my head..!!