Things to Do While You Wait for Decisions

[Dr. Old Bill]

This almost deserves its own topic: How to Talk to Non-academics about the Application Process.

Neither of my parents went to college. My father put together a solid blue collar career, and was reasonably successful, but trying to explain anything remotely academic to him is like talking to a toddler. When I was telling him about my OSU acceptance, he was happy and proud, of course, but the follow-up dialogue went something like this:

Him: So...you still have to finish your master's, right?
Me: Yes...
Him: So, what would happen if you failed your last semester?
Me: Um, that would never happen
Him: Okay, but what would happen? Would they still let you in?
Me: Dad, I don't think you understand...that just wouldn't happen
Him: But say you got like a C- in your last courses...would they take away the offer?
Me: Probably, but you have to understand that when you've worked this hard for this long, that just doesn't happen
Him: But what if you just decided you wanted to party for your last semester and didn't work hard...what then?
Me: ##$&@ @#*@*( #*#(!!

[Lovegood]

5 minutes ago, Wyatt's Terps said:

 

This almost deserves its own topic: How to Talk to Non-academics about the Application Process.

 

My parents are very supportive and they paid for the costs of applications and GRE, TOEFL tests. That's why I feel upset when they say: You applied to 15 programs, at least one will accept you, right?---I hate to disappoint them. 

[crugs]

24 minutes ago, Lovegood said:

 

I don't tell other family members about my applications, and they keep asking me: "Do you get a job?", "Have you met some guys?" 

hahahahah by the end of the summer both my sisters will have gotten married within a year of each other and have jobs they're passionate about and love so being single and in limbo for where I'll be next year makes keeping up at family gatherings a chore! 

[Lovegood]

50 minutes ago, loganondorf said:

My best technique has been to remind people that it's in my best interests to assume all rejections,

People who are courageous enough, acknowledging that life is rife with pain and conflict, just as it's filled with compassion and joy.

But people like me, just take the acceptances as the most indispensable achievements at this point. Fear to lose, or go through a second time. 

Edited February 3, 2017 by Lovegood

[crugs]

27 minutes ago, Wyatt's Terps said:

This almost deserves its own topic: How to Talk to Non-academics about the Application Process.

Neither of my parents went to college. My father put together a solid blue collar career, and was reasonably successful, but trying to explain anything remotely academic to him is like talking to a toddler. When I was telling him about my OSU acceptance, he was happy and proud, of course, but the follow-up dialogue went something like this:

Him: So...you still have to finish your master's, right?
Me: Yes...
Him: So, what would happen if you failed your last semester?
Me: Um, that would never happen
Him: Okay, but what would happen? Would they still let you in?
Me: Dad, I don't think you understand...that just wouldn't happen
Him: But say you got like a C- in your last courses...would they take away the offer?
Me: Probably, but you have to understand that when you've worked this hard for this long, that just doesn't happen
Him: But what if you just decided you wanted to party for your last semester and didn't work hard...what then?
Me: ##$&@ @#*@*( #*#(!!

ahahahah this conversation is amazing.....just *decide* to party for the last whole semester. 

[Lovegood]

@crugs

 All my college friends admire me for taking a MA postion in the top university in China. So I am not looking forward to finding a job at this time. Because in China, when you start working, parents will ask you to date someone, to marry someone, and then have a baby. 

So this year is very important for me. If I get any acceptance, I can away from these pressure for at least 5 years!!! I can go to parties, travel to foreign countries...do anything I interested in but never experience before.  I feel optimistic when I think about these, but turndown so quickly after checking the result page.

Edited February 3, 2017 by Lovegood

[LouPlease]

The two most annoying questions for me are:

What's your top choice?

-I hate this because I am trying not to put too much energy into something so out of my control. I don't want to tell everyone I'm set on a school and then have to admit I was rejected.

Have you heard anything?

-If I had good news don't you think I would have hired a blimp to broadcast it across the city???? Any news I've gotten that I haven't shared is probably not good news!!

 

In the end I know everyone means well but jeeeeez this waiting process has made me such a crotchety hermit. 

[tvethiopia]

1 hour ago, LouisePlease said:

Have you heard anything?

-If I had good news don't you think I would have hired a blimp to broadcast it across the city???? Any news I've gotten that I haven't shared is probably not good news!!

haha THIS. every time someone is like "oh, have you heard from schools yet?" i just blank out for a second because i cannot even process the question. it's like someone coming up to you and saying, "oh, has your house burned to the ground recently?"

[HumanCylinder]

3 hours ago, Lovegood said:

Hi, since you two applied last cycle, I want to ask that...Can you remember one year ago when other applicants put their offers on the result page while you didn't hear anything from that same program? Some people say we can consider this situation as implied rejection, but if this is the case, I seem to be rejected by 1/3 of the programs I applied to.

Please keep in mind the reality that it is very difficult to get into English PhD programs.  I have seen/heard of good people who applied to 15+ schools only to be rejected.  The odds are long in many cases, and very smart people do get shut out. I myself got into programs on my third attempt.  In my first two years, I only applied to 4-6 school on the west coast, all with similar rankings (so, I wasn't really casting a wide net).  When I decided to apply more broadly and to a wider range of schools, I did have success.  But I also did not apply to any top-20 programs based on my experience of being rejected from schools in the first two rounds.  The application process is extremely grueling and really forces a lot of long hard looks, both inward and outward, and a lot of grit.  I'm not sure why I started writing all this, but I suppose I'm just extremely empathetic to people who don't get admitted right away or in a first attempt at applications.  It is so much a numbers game that doesn't necessarily reflect one's ability or capacity to do graduate level work.  And I think I also say this because, in my experience, my results mainly lined up with what was being reported on the results page.  That is, if I didn't hear within a few days of acceptances being posted here, I was not accepted. Now, this obviously is only one person's experience with a select number of programs, and I do think that waitlists are definitely possible. I remember the waiting period during my third and last attempt at applying being especially brutal (as in moment-to-moment existence felt hard), so I really do send out all my support and good vibes to those still waiting to hear.  I recommend trying to keep busy in ways that prevent you from looking at your phone or computer, if possible.         

[loganondorf]

2 hours ago, Lovegood said:

People who are courageous enough, acknowledging that life is rife with pain and conflict, just as it's filled with compassion and joy.

But people like me, just take the acceptances as the most indispensable achievements at this point. Fear to lose, or go through a second time. 

 

14 minutes ago, HumanCylinder said:

Please keep in mind the reality that it is very difficult to get into English PhD programs.  I have seen/heard of good people who applied to 15+ schools only to be rejected.  The odds are long in many cases, and very smart people do get shut out. I myself got into programs on my third attempt.  In my first two years, I only applied to 4-6 school on the west coast, all with similar rankings (so, I wasn't really casting a wide net).  When I decided to apply more broadly and to a wider range of schools, I did have success.  But I also did not apply to any top-20 programs based on my experience of being rejected from schools in the first two rounds.  The application process is extremely grueling and really forces a lot of long hard looks, both inward and outward, and a lot of grit.  I'm not sure why I started writing all this, but I suppose I'm just extremely empathetic to people who don't get admitted right away or in a first attempt at applications.  It is so much a numbers game that doesn't necessarily reflect one's ability or capacity to do graduate level work.  And I think I also say this because, in my experience, my results mainly lined up with what was being reported on the results page.  That is, if I didn't hear within a few days of acceptances being posted here, I was not accepted. Now, this obviously is only one person's experience with a select number of programs, and I do think that waitlists are definitely possible. I remember the waiting period during my third and last attempt at applying being especially brutal (as in moment-to-moment existence felt hard), so I really do send out all my support and good vibes to those still waiting to hear.  I recommend trying to keep busy in ways that prevent you from looking at your phone or computer, if possible.         

This, HumanCylinder. This.

I'm also on my third attempt (one resulted in my M.A., which was great, but I still consider it part of the three tries). My best friend is one of the smartest and most motivated people I've met, and it took her three tries as well. On her third (and what would have probably been her final) try, she got accepted to almost every program and is now doing her PhD at a Top 5 program. This is just to say that not getting in doesn't need to be the end of your journey, nor does it even need to be a bad thing in the long run. It'll sting quite a bit at first, and the pain will last for awhile, but every application season makes you that much stronger as an applicant. Rejections help you to revise your statements, reconsider your research interests, make better connections with rising academics, etc.

Even if this season doesn't pan out for you the way you'd like, Lovegood, don't let it discourage you from applying again in the future. Take the pain, give yourself space to wallow, be upset, etc. (it's a rare moment when you can really indulge in self-pity, but PhD rejections are as good an opportunity as any), and then use what you've learned to craft an even better set of applications for the next season. I've learned so much about myself and my research interests through this process -- I can firmly say that had I gotten accepted after my first round, I wouldn't be half the scholar I am today.

[HumanCylinder]

29 minutes ago, loganondorf said:

I've learned so much about myself and my research interests through this process -- I can firmly say that had I gotten accepted after my first round, I wouldn't be half the scholar I am today.

Yes, I also second this.  There was one paragraph in SoP I kept re-writing, and I think by my third try I finally was able to articulate a much more innovative and specific theoretical undergirding for my topic/authors of interest.  And in doing so encountered some really great critical and philosophical work that had not been addressed in courses I took (and probably would not ever have been).  Also, by applying three times, I got a pretty good feel for a lot of different programs (through googling and talking to grad students) and that contributed to my ability to think really strategically about which programs I applied to, which is also key.  

Edited February 3, 2017 by HumanCylinder

[Caien]

Loving the family frustration here guys. The only question my father has ever asked about my life/school/career is 'How much do you expect to be earning in 10 years time?'

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY KNOW THAT!!??!!

[tvethiopia]

- start imagining worst case scenarios

- bake cookies to distract yourself 

- consider how to tell friends and family if you don't get accepted to ANY programs

- eat all cookies

[loganondorf]

67. Finally start putting 100% back into your job, because you no longer have to spend every waking minute revising and rewriting your statements.

68. Re-realize the reason you applied to a Ph.D. program is for the chance at a job you want to put 100% into.

69. Stop putting in 100% because now you have to go back to reading academic articles and books on your research topics, just in case you get in.

[LouPlease]

25 minutes ago, tvethiopia said:

- bake cookies to distract yourself 

- consider how to tell friends and family if you don't get accepted to ANY programs

- eat all cookies

2/6/2017

Woke up.

Got rejected from Duke whilst still in bed.

Stared into the dark and wondered what was to become of me and if perhaps I have secret, yet untapped talents so that I could say to friends and family, "I didn't get in anywhere but I'm happy because now I know i want to be a _________." 

Ate brownies.

Posted on GC.

Ate more brownies.

 

It is now 7:40am. Gonna be a long week. 

[crugs]

Last night I got an email from UT Austin saying a decision has been made and to check the portal...I already got a rejection email on Friday so I knew I wasn't in...but somehow the Patriots' win made me believe for a moment in the power of the comeback, and changing tides, and miracles and magic...so I checked the portal *just in case*.

Unfortunately Tom Brady does not have power over PhD acceptances. 

[tvethiopia]

9 minutes ago, LouisePlease said:

It is now 7:40am. Gonna be a long week. 

i am so there with you. only gradcafe understands.

[Abyss21]

9 minutes ago, LouisePlease said:

2/6/2017

Woke up.

Got rejected from Duke whilst still in bed.

Stared into the dark and wondered what was to become of me and if perhaps I have secret, yet untapped talents so that I could say to friends and family, "I didn't get in anywhere but I'm happy because now I know i want to be a _________." 

Ate brownies.

Posted on GC.

Ate more brownies.

 

It is now 7:40am. Gonna be a long week. 

Literally same thing happened to me. Woke up, checked my phone. Rejection from Duke. Great start to a Monday.

[othersamantha]

@LouisePlease @ThePomoHipster Ugh so sorry you guys. There should be a rule against posting decisions in the morning and ESPECIALLY on Mondays.   Hang in there!!

[anxiousphd]

49 minutes ago, LouisePlease said:

2/6/2017

Woke up.

Got rejected from Duke whilst still in bed.

Stared into the dark and wondered what was to become of me and if perhaps I have secret, yet untapped talents so that I could say to friends and family, "I didn't get in anywhere but I'm happy because now I know i want to be a _________." 

Ate brownies.

Posted on GC.

Ate more brownies.

 

It is now 7:40am. Gonna be a long week. 

This process has made me so delusional that I'm considering trying out screenwriting, stand up comedy, or mimicing Obama's career and seeing if I can become president (since apparently that's much easier than getting into a PhD program).

[imogenshakes]

On 2/3/2017 at 10:44 AM, Wyatt's Terps said:

This almost deserves its own topic: How to Talk to Non-academics about the Application Process.

Neither of my parents went to college. My father put together a solid blue collar career, and was reasonably successful, but trying to explain anything remotely academic to him is like talking to a toddler. When I was telling him about my OSU acceptance, he was happy and proud, of course, but the follow-up dialogue went something like this:

Exact situation happening over here. When I told my parents I was going to apply to non-regional schools (which was not my initial plan), they were like "Well, it's only two years and then you can come back here and get a job at [current uni] here!"

I mean, didn't I already explain a million times that academia means a nomadic life? How tenure works? How the job market sucks and you go where the jobs are? Also...idk where they got that PhD programs are 2 years long. I wish. haha 

I still don't think my mom understands how rankings work. They don't know why I'd elect to choose a cross-country move over a 1.5 hour commute when the result (another diploma, some letters after my name) is the "same."

1 hour ago, othersamantha said:

@LouisePlease @ThePomoHipster Ugh so sorry you guys. There should be a rule against posting decisions in the morning and ESPECIALLY on Mondays.   Hang in there!!

I'm sorry too. Mondays are already the worst. Take care of yourselves today, and remember there's still time!

[LouPlease]

3 hours ago, tvethiopia said:

i am so there with you. only gradcafe understands.

So true. I wish I was the kind of person who wanted to workout in situations like this.... then I would have a headstart on my new career as a body builder. 

 

Edited February 6, 2017 by LouisePlease

[LouPlease]

3 hours ago, ThePomoHipster said:

Literally same thing happened to me. Woke up, checked my phone. Rejection from Duke. Great start to a Monday.

Whole new meaning to a case of the mondays, eh? Solidarity ?

[rheya19]

On 2/3/2017 at 9:44 AM, Wyatt's Terps said:

This almost deserves its own topic: How to Talk to Non-academics about the Application Process.

Neither of my parents went to college. My father put together a solid blue collar career, and was reasonably successful, but trying to explain anything remotely academic to him is like talking to a toddler. When I was telling him about my OSU acceptance, he was happy and proud, of course, but the follow-up dialogue went something like this:

Him: So...you still have to finish your master's, right?
Me: Yes...
Him: So, what would happen if you failed your last semester?
Me: Um, that would never happen
Him: Okay, but what would happen? Would they still let you in?
Me: Dad, I don't think you understand...that just wouldn't happen
Him: But say you got like a C- in your last courses...would they take away the offer?
Me: Probably, but you have to understand that when you've worked this hard for this long, that just doesn't happen
Him: But what if you just decided you wanted to party for your last semester and didn't work hard...what then?
Me: ##$&@ @#*@*( #*#(!!

My dad always gives me the old, "Why aren't you applying to any schools here in Minnesota? Are you applying to the U of M? I heard Such-and-Such University is good..." 

And for the umpteenth time I have to explain that I'm not applying to schools as much as I'm applying to work with specific people who do the specific work that I want to do, and I don't get to choose where they are. 

He still doesn't get it.

[rheya19]

70. Go over to another field's forum (obviously English today, maybe a STEM tomorrow?) and see how they're faring.

71. Judge Judy on Youtube.

72. Ask my husband for the 100th time, "What if I don't get in at all this year....?" and for the 100th time have him say, "Oh, baby, you're going to be fine either way..." but not feel better.

73. 3 year-old movie trailers on Youtube.

74. Get into a fight with a family member on Facebook over politics.

By the way, has anyone made a comprehensive list of these? I don't want to repeat anyone.

Edited February 6, 2017 by rheya19
Trying to improve my jokes