moralresearcher Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 This is fantastic! This is hilarious. If you had sent this as an addendum to your SOP and I was a professor, I would have admitted you on the spot lol George 1
hubris Posted January 25, 2010 Posted January 25, 2010 Dear School. I know you've told me not to write or call, that you needed time to think things over... (snip) Yours. m Nice one. melusine 1
moralresearcher Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Dear Schools, (Desperate, whiney Meredith Grey voice) Pick Me. Choose Me. Love Me! Hopelessly devoted to you, moralresearcher
psychdork Posted January 26, 2010 Posted January 26, 2010 Dear Schools, (Desperate, whiney Meredith Grey voice) Pick Me. Choose Me. Love Me! Hopelessly devoted to you, moralresearcher I was going to post that! It completely fits the way I am feeling right now (that is, desperate)!
Timothy Vallier Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Dear All Schools, Rescue me from the midwest. -TV DeWinter 1
TMP Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Dear All Schools, Rescue me from the midwest. -TV Let me revise that for this particular school in the South: Dear School in the South: I've lived in the North, under all the snow, ice, and bitterly cold wind, ever since I was born. When I had a choice of two MA programs, I thought if I moved to the Midwest, I would get a change of scenery. Boy, I was wrong. Yes, it was nice to leave the Northeast but I realized that what I really wanted was a change of climate. So please, you are my ONLY hope for constant sunshine and relative warmth. And I mean it literally, not just figuratively. After all, don't the Southerners have a nice reputation for their charming manners? From, *shivers* M-m-m-m-m-e-e-e-e *coughs* NEPA 1
piccgeek Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Dear School, Do you like me? Check yes or no. Yes No -your not-so-secret admirer
ecg1810 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 (edited) Dear Grad Schools, Please DO NOT send me e-mails that begin with "Thank you for applying. . ." during feedback season if you're not sending me a rejection letter. I can only handle so much adrenaline. Love, Your Absurdly Anxious (Alliterative) Applicant Edited January 27, 2010 by ecg1810
jmb04 Posted January 27, 2010 Posted January 27, 2010 Dear School, In the immortal words of Academy Award winner Jennifer Hudson in Dreamgirls: And you, and you, and you... YOU'RE GONNA LOVE MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! Seriously. Please send my acceptance notification STAT, so I can move on with my life. Thanks. Sincerely, jmb04
IggAb Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Dear School. I know you've told me not to write or call, that you needed time to think things over... What happened? School.. Where did we go wrong?? Even before I met you, you wooed me with your promises of happy futures together. Do you remember, school? Do you? I do. You used to make it sound so easy. You even set up an online system for me to apply, so you could receive my letters faster. Like you couldn't wait to read them! Was it all a lie? And then... Then, you started making demands. Asking me for more transcripts, more test scores. Money even!! I spent all I had on you. School. ... I LIVE IN A VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER!!! But did I ever blame you? Did I ever say anything hurt you? Yes. Yes, I might have written other schools. But at least I was honest. I told you! I told you as soon as you asked if there was someone else! I gave you a list, School. And now, this silence. Where are you now, School? What are you doing? Are you reading someone else's SOPs? Letting yourself be charmed by their heavily revised writing style, their overblown rec letters, their stellar scores? Can't you see that none of it matters?!?? Because I'm THE ONE. I'm the one, School. And you know it. And I know it too. That's why I sit here, night after night, waiting for you to call and tell me you want me, like I know you do. You have cost me my rent, my friends and my dignity, School. While you are out ogling other applicants, I could be doing the same with other schools, but I don't! I don't because I WANT YOU! And you may think I'm needy, and weird, and obsessed.. And you might even call me a creep if you knew that I spend most of my time on your website, looking at pictures of your exes, and trying to picture my head on their bodies, mentally photoshopping myself into pictures of us together... But that's just because I know we're meant to be, School. So please. Pick up the phone and call. I'll be waiting. Yours. m Aha, as I suspected... from a lit student!
shai Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Dear Schools, Haven't heard from you in a long time. Is it something I said(or wrote in my SOP)? Me johndiligent 1
profound_g Posted January 28, 2010 Posted January 28, 2010 Dear schools, Go ahead, you know you want to. Yours truly *************************** Dear schools, You've got to ask yourselves one question: Do I feel lucky? The not yet yours
whereiscarmen Posted January 29, 2010 Posted January 29, 2010 Dear all schools applied to, Cat got your tongue? -Prospective applicant.
TMP Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 It's February! Dear Other Schools, Someone, please be my Valentine. *holds a rose* TMP
ecg1810 Posted January 31, 2010 Posted January 31, 2010 Dear Grad Schools, I thought you should hear something my friend posted on my Facebook wall the other day: "Ecg1810, you have checked The Grad Cafe website on my computer so often that it is now one of the first things to come up when I start typing in a URL. It's up there with Google and Wikipedia." Please tell me something before the damage to my psyche (and my friend's computer) becomes irreparable. Love, Ecg1810, a Desperate Grad School Hopeful
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