Feeling like an imposteur in graduate school

[Adelaide9216]

Hello everyone,

I am a 24 year old black woman living in Canada. Both of my parents do not have a university degree.

I want to pursue a MSW, and even possibily a PhD in my field. But I have feelings of doubt and imposture. I'm afraid that I won't be good enough despite the fact that I've been doing community work since a very early age, and have won multiple awards and scholarships

Anyone feeling like this too? How do you overcome this feeling? 

 

[RurikNjalsson]

I actually met with my therapist yesterday and discussed this very topic. His advice was essentially: "look at where you've been, and use that to judge your potential." For instance, he asked me how it went when I applied to bachelor's, with me stating that I got in everywhere I applied and even made it into the honors program where I am finishing my bachelor's. I think instead of doubting yourself, you should think about all that you have achieved and that it's probably pretty likely you'll make it into grad school, and even if you don't, that doesn't make all the things you've done and accomplished any less valid and important. You're still successful at the end of the day. I hope this helps.

[dormcat]

Imposter syndrome is very common among women, particularly in academia. I looked up imposter syndrome as it relates to black women and found this article, which you might or might not find resonates with how you're feeling. 

If you think it might be imposter syndrome, it can just be helpful to know that soooo many other academics (and I'm sure people in industry) feel the same way. I got into a great university after excelling at a small liberal arts university and I feel like I'm going to fail within the first month. There are countless mentions of imposter syndrome on TGC, search for it and I'm sure there are many threads with great advice. For me, knowing most, if not all, of the folks I know in grad school feel the same way helps in some small way. I also plan on getting into therapy once I start grad school to help deal with what the feelings of inadequacy and stress I'll be sure to experience. 

In general, I think people who want to pursue to "next step" have doubt, but you can't know if you'll succeed if you don't try. Which is cliche, but there's truth in there because you do usually have to push outside your comfort zone to achieve your goals. 

[iDance]

If it helps, I've felt like that at times. Although this article doesn't really apply in my situation and it's slightly different than yours, it's nice to hear someone else talking about their experiences as well. http://www.apta.org/Blogs/Pulse/2017/01/ImposterSyndrome/

Sometimes it doesn't feel real. The things you put on paper just seem like words that don't apply to you, even when you're writing them about yourself and your experiences. When you're in classes, you can feel like everyone there is better than you, even if you know logically they're not. That's when I like to go dance or workout. It kicks my butt and reminds me that progress happens, even if it doesn't feel real. You can't fake achieving that new move or setting a new PR. You saw it happen. You felt your body doing it. You can feel the work it took in every blister and other frustrating moment. That's usually enough to get my mind out of the self-doubt/impostor feelings I get scholastically. Talking it out can help too.

You got this. Keep your head up and believe in yourself. 

[olayak]

I've always felt like that and I have three masters degrees.  Look up "impostor syndrome".  Some schools even have support groups that deal with this.  Don't worry, you totally deserve to be there. You can do it!

 

[Dwr]

Everybody I know seems to suffer from this.

Edited February 12, 2017 by Dwr

[Adelaide9216]

I'm both happy and sad to see that I am not the only one!

[victoriaaa]

I know how you feel. I finished my undergrad in 2011, and have been working for the last 5 years. Now that I'm preparing to go into a Master's program, I can't help but feel like I'm not going to belong. I'm 29 and have to wonder how much I'm going to be behind the others in my program. Looking forward to the challenge, though!

[patient0]

I've definitely felt this, despite many accomplishments (like you). There are supports for this - I've been involved in many organizations devoted to women in computing/women in engineering (my field). I tend to bounce between confident and self-advocating, to impostor and self-doubt. I try to remind myself that there are different paths that will take me where I want to go. I try to enjoy the journey. I think learning how to deal with impostor syndrome makes me more valuable and wiser in the workplace. For example, learning about this at an early age means that by the time I was 30, I had developed coping mechanisms and also a worthwhile safety net. And by safety net I do not necessarily mean tons of friends (or "friends") who admire me, or 5000 facebook friends - no I mean a handful of people in my career area that are deeply devoted to my success and career goals, who want me to succeed and can provide advice for getting there.