Living far(ish) from campus

[gdala]

So long story short, I'm starting a master's program in the fall, and it's looking like I'm going to have to move to a city about an hour's drive away from campus.  I originally thought it wouldn't be the worst thing, but other grad students are essentially telling me it's an unreasonable option, and I'm getting increasingly nervous about it. Does anybody have any experiences with this situation? Did it affect you, your academic work, or your social life at all?

[fuzzylogician]

It'll be limiting and tiring. Not impossible, but not something I would recommend to anyone. Spending two hours on the road every day is a lot! If you have to drive, you have to concentrate and it's time when you're not getting work done. In the winter the drive might take longer, or you might not want to drive in the dark and you'll end up leaving earlier. There are costs to do with parking, insurance, gas, maintenance, etc. And it'll limit your ability to interact with others -- you won't be able to join outings in the evening, you won't want to stay late and study, or even just hang out. Which means you'll be less connected to your cohort. Eventually you might start skipping events such as reading groups or other talks, or you might not show up if you don't have classes/meetings a certain day, again limiting your interaction with the program and limiting what you'll get out of it. Part of what the program will give you is exposure to faculty and the departmental culture, and those are things you might (partly) miss out on, if you're commuting from far away. 

[shadowclaw]

For a masters degree, no, I don't think it's that unreasonable since you'll only be there about 2 years. For a PhD program, I think you'd get real tired of that drive after a while - but then again, there are people who commute to New York City daily who have over an hour of travel time.

I personally stayed at home with my parents while doing my masters about an hour and fifteen minutes away. It was way cheaper to pay for gas than to pay for rent in my school's city. The first year I felt went really well. I was on campus two or three days per week for classes and meetings and worked part time near home on the other days. My research was done off-campus over the summer. The second year I got a graduate assistantship and had to be there five days a week. That got old very fast, but at least it was only two semesters. In terms of social life, my program at the time was pretty small (under 20 students) and students didn't really interact with each other all that much outside of the classroom aside from our monthly get-togethers. So lack of socialization wasn't really an issue, since it wouldn't have happened if I lived closer anyway. I personally don't see socialization as a big issue in graduate school anyway - even now in my PhD program, I rarely see anyone in my program or friends from other programs on a daily basis (unless I have a class with them) because we're all much too busy with class, research, studying, etc. We do like to go out on Friday nights for dinner or some other activity (we went bowling last week), and that isn't something that would be hindered by living far away. However, I think this would ultimately depend on your program and the people in it. I'm sure some graduate students spend more time together than others.

I will say that having an excessive commute can affect your academic life depending on what your workload is. In that second year, it was at times a struggle to get everything done. My assistantship took up around 20-25 hours of my time each week and driving ate up 15 hours per week (plus any additional driving besides commuting to school). I then added one or two classes per term on top of that along with working on my thesis and it could get rough. But I did it, and I also finished my masters on time, unlike the rest of my cohort who took an extra term or two, despite living right down the road from school. 

So to sum up, living an hour away might not be a problem, but there are multiple factors at play and you will ultimately have less time available to you each day to get things done.

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

That sounds pretty terrible, but it depends on how demanding your program is. I have about a half hour commute into campus each day, and I've been forced to spend the night more than I would really appreciate because if it's 2am and I'm still in lab and have to be back at 7, it's much more reasonable to just crash on a couch somewhere on campus.

[angesradieux]

It depends on personal preference. An hour may be totally doable for you. However, one thing to consider is the weather where you're moving. Do they get a lot of snow? If they do, how comfortable are you driving in bad weather? Not all schools are particularly friendly to their commuters, and they may figure that most people live close enough to campus to get there despite the weather. There were also times where I drove to campus, and it took me a solid hour or more to get there in bad weather, only to find that at some point after I'd left, so within an hour and a half of class starting, they'd made the decision to cancel classes due to snow and they were closing all buildings except dorms, so instead of waiting out the storm there, I had to get right back in my car and drive back. Also, when your commute is that far, sometimes weather will be different on campus than it is where you live. Once, the roads by me were icy and I wasn't comfortable driving, but the school was open. So I e-mailed a professor letting him know that I wouldn't be able to get to class because of the weather, and I got a response that it wasn't that bad by the school. Which, great for them, but the roads being fine there didn't mean they were fine by me. You'll find the level of understanding varies from one professor to another. Some may be great about working with you if you can't get to class, others not so much. The other thing to consider is your car. With an hour commute, you'll be putting a lot of miles on your car very quickly and it starts to be a lot of wear and tear on it. Will you be okay covering any issues that may crop up--worn break pads, dead battery, etc.--more frequently with your commute than they would if you lived elsewhere? If the reason you're moving far from campus is to find more affordable rent, you should think about what it will cost to maintain your car. You may find a good chunk of what you save on rent going towards repairs.

I commuted during undergrad, and I'll also say I didn't really have a chance to get involved on campus and it also meant I didn't find many friends. It may be a bit different in grad school, and the fact that I had a job close to home may have exacerbated it, but I got into the habit of showing up when classes started and then leaving when my classes were done. I didn't really hang out on campus or get to know people because I was always either trying to beat the rush hour traffic or get back in time for work. The coursework may be doable, but you might find it difficult to have a social life. Again, this is from undergrad, but I didn't start hanging around on campus to spend time with people until my last year, and even then there was always this internal battle of feeling like I needed to leave even when I was having a good time, because it was getting late and I still had a far-ish drive home.

Not saying it isn't doable, but those are some factors you may want to consider.

[gdala]

I appreciate the feedback, everyone.  The reason for this is because my husband is most likely going to be working about two hours away from my university and we were gonna split the difference.  I'm still looking into other options, but you all gave me some things to consider. 

[cortisol]

When I was in my masters program, I commuted 1.5-2 hours one way. The time spent driving honestly wasn't bad- it was the only "break" all day I had to myself where I was forced to do nothing but listen to music and chill. I was super busy because I worked full time, in addition to being a full time student and doing grad research. The only thing that sucked was that I had to drive into Washington, DC, where traffic and a-hole drivers were a daily nightmare. So if your school is in a high traffic area, I hope you have more patience than I do haha. My social life suffered a decent amount, but I made a really good friend, whom I'd frequently go to Happy hour with after class, so its not that I had no social life.

i don't think my academic life suffered much since I typically got my reading done during the day, and would sometimes stay at school until it was all done- this usually meant I would leave my house at like 6am and get home around 10-11pm, but I didn't mind since I just sleep when I get home.

i also second what fuzzy said about the weather. Sometimes an unexpected snowstorm or insufficient plowing increased my commute to 3-4 hours one way, which blew. 

I'm assuming you have a good reason for living far from school, but I definitely feel your worries, 1) because I've done it already, and 2) im bracing to do it again for a year- my S/o is willing to move to a new state with me for my phd program, but postdocs are limited for him there, so we'd have to live in a halfway point between our two institutions   

Tldr; as others said, there are many external factors that may get in the way, but my personal experience was that it wasn't that bad.

Best of luck!!

-edit-

just saw the reason for your commute would be because of your husband. Me personally, I decided that my quality of life would be much higher living with my S/o and commuting, rather than living apart and being close to school. Good luck!

Edited April 27, 2017 by cortisol

[That Research Lady]

@gdala Im actually working out the same issue with my partner now (who is thankfully willing to drive a little further than I am). I commuted for undergrad and during the drive I often listened to recorded lectures, text books on audio, or just my recorded voice going over course content. I'm an auditory learner so it worked well for me. However, I'm still having similar concerns as you, since I'm beginning a PhD program and haven't been in school for years. Thank you for bringing this up on the forum!

[spectastic]

any 1 hour commute is a pain in the ass. I did this for a while when I was in industry. lost 10% of my waking hours being stuck inside a box listening to npr. would never do something like that again so help me god

on busy days, when I was tired and overworked, I found myself wanting to doze off at the wheel. a coworker told me he would sometimes take micronaps on the highway 

there are better ways to chill and relax.

Edited April 27, 2017 by spectastic

[cowgirlsdontcry]

I have lived a 45 minute drive for both my undergrad and MA, plus parking and getting to the English building. Trust me when I say it gets old. I don't stay long at evening events because it's very rural all of the way and pitch black driving on a curvy, hilly 2-lane road. I don't want to live on top of campus for my Ph.D. but have found an apartment about 3 miles away, which according to Google Maps is a 10 minute drive in traffic, plus another 10-15 minutes getting around campus. be sure to add in the parking and travel time on campus. I had to be at an 8:00 a.m. class with my professor last semester and it was a nightmare having to get up by 5:30 and drive in.

[angesradieux]

17 hours ago, gdala said:

I appreciate the feedback, everyone.  The reason for this is because my husband is most likely going to be working about two hours away from my university and we were gonna split the difference.  I'm still looking into other options, but you all gave me some things to consider. 

Is there a train station near by? You may want to look into what train tickets cost and what the schedule is. You'll have less flexibility, but at least that way you could read and get work done on the trip to minimize the time lost in the commute. It may not be feasible depending on the expense, but it's just another thing to consider.

[gdala]

14 hours ago, cortisol said:

When I was in my masters program, I commuted 1.5-2 hours one way. The time spent driving honestly wasn't bad- it was the only "break" all day I had to myself where I was forced to do nothing but listen to music and chill. I was super busy because I worked full time, in addition to being a full time student and doing grad research. The only thing that sucked was that I had to drive into Washington, DC, where traffic and a-hole drivers were a daily nightmare. So if your school is in a high traffic area, I hope you have more patience than I do haha. My social life suffered a decent amount, but I made a really good friend, whom I'd frequently go to Happy hour with after class, so its not that I had no social life.

i don't think my academic life suffered much since I typically got my reading done during the day, and would sometimes stay at school until it was all done- this usually meant I would leave my house at like 6am and get home around 10-11pm, but I didn't mind since I just sleep when I get home.

i also second what fuzzy said about the weather. Sometimes an unexpected snowstorm or insufficient plowing increased my commute to 3-4 hours one way, which blew. 

I'm assuming you have a good reason for living far from school, but I definitely feel your worries, 1) because I've done it already, and 2) im bracing to do it again for a year- my S/o is willing to move to a new state with me for my phd program, but postdocs are limited for him there, so we'd have to live in a halfway point between our two institutions   

Tldr; as others said, there are many external factors that may get in the way, but my personal experience was that it wasn't that bad.

Best of luck!!

-edit-

just saw the reason for your commute would be because of your husband. Me personally, I decided that my quality of life would be much higher living with my S/o and commuting, rather than living apart and being close to school. Good luck!

 

13 hours ago, That Research Lady said:

@gdala Im actually working out the same issue with my partner now (who is thankfully willing to drive a little further than I am). I commuted for undergrad and during the drive I often listened to recorded lectures, text books on audio, or just my recorded voice going over course content. I'm an auditory learner so it worked well for me. However, I'm still having similar concerns as you, since I'm beginning a PhD program and haven't been in school for years. Thank you for bringing this up on the forum!

Wow, 4 hours every day has gotta be rough.  I don't know if I could do that, but your posts give me some hope! Thanks for the ideas!

[gdala]

12 hours ago, spectastic said:

any 1 hour commute is a pain in the ass. I did this for a while when I was in industry. lost 10% of my waking hours being stuck inside a box listening to npr. would never do something like that again so help me god

on busy days, when I was tired and overworked, I found myself wanting to doze off at the wheel. a coworker told me he would sometimes take micronaps on the highway 

there are better ways to chill and relax.

 

12 hours ago, cowgirlsdontcry said:

I have lived a 45 minute drive for both my undergrad and MA, plus parking and getting to the English building. Trust me when I say it gets old. I don't stay long at evening events because it's very rural all of the way and pitch black driving on a curvy, hilly 2-lane road. I don't want to live on top of campus for my Ph.D. but have found an apartment about 3 miles away, which according to Google Maps is a 10 minute drive in traffic, plus another 10-15 minutes getting around campus. be sure to add in the parking and travel time on campus. I had to be at an 8:00 a.m. class with my professor last semester and it was a nightmare having to get up by 5:30 and drive in.

These are my biggest concerns really.  Early mornings (when traffic is heaviest, making it even earlier) and then having to be there all day is just going to be exhausting. Thanks for your input, and I definitely didn't think to factor in the extra time getting around campus.

[gdala]

52 minutes ago, angesradieux said:

Is there a train station near by? You may want to look into what train tickets cost and what the schedule is. You'll have less flexibility, but at least that way you could read and get work done on the trip to minimize the time lost in the commute. It may not be feasible depending on the expense, but it's just another thing to consider.

No train station. There's nothing much in the way of public transit.  The area relies really heavily on cars.  It's a shame because it would be convenient to cut back on the tired driving.

[thelionking]

Considering your personal circumstances, I think a 1 hour commute for each of you is a good compromise.

Some people bring up a lot of good points here. But there is more than one way to do grad school and you don't have to go the traditional route. It sounds like you may be a mature student (I'm guessing you are a little older because you are married) and when people are a little older their priorities tend to be a little different. You and your husband can set up a good life for yourselves in a new city without relying heavily on other students to help satisfy your social and entertainment needs on the weekend.

If you are concerned about long days, try to find some private lounge space where you can take quick 20 minute power naps, or just shut the door and put your head on the table and nap. A 20 minute power nap may not sounds like much, but it can really do wonders and make you feel really refreshed afterwards. (I suggested 20 minutes because I knew a sleep researcher who told me that this is the optimal amount of time needed to feel refreshed). At undergrad, I found such space at the multi-faith centre which had a meditation/prayer room with lots of nice slippers, cushions and blankets and I used it to take naps and to meditate.    

Many parents and single parents go to university and grad school and are quite successful in their pursuits (often times even more successful than younger students who aren't parents because they are more determined, time efficient and focused on their goals). Whenever I had such students in my classes, I generally looked up to them and reminded myself that if they could do it, then so could I. If they can manage to find time to change diapers, help their kids with homework, cook, do housework, pick up and drop off their kids from daycare/school, and read their kids bedtime stories, then certainly you can find 2 extra hours per day to commute.

[Yanaka]

I'm bumping this thread so I don't need to create a new discussion.

I'm thinking of commuting from my current city to New Brunswick with public transportation, which would be about an hour and a half each way with two trains. Anyone have other experiences of commuting using trains? I'm mostly worried about feeling stuck (like taking the exact same trains every day, not being very flexible especially in the morning), and feeling like you're not integrated with the department. 

[Bleep_Bloop]

21 hours ago, Yanaka said:

I'm thinking of commuting from my current city to New Brunswick with public transportation, which would be about an hour and a half each way with two trains. Anyone have other experiences of commuting using trains? I'm mostly worried about feeling stuck (like taking the exact same trains every day, not being very flexible especially in the morning), and feeling like you're not integrated with the department. 

I actually commute from Philly to Princeton, so just a little shorter than what you'll be doing. It takes a lot of patience with SEPTA and NJ Transit, they don't coordinate very well and there are a LOT of delays because of track work along the Northeast Corridor. At the fastest it takes me 2 hours one-way, but I always budget 3 just in case. Most days it winds up being 2.5 with delays or missed connections when transferring in Trenton. I'm sorry to say that I really don't think it would be feasible to get from Philly to Rutgers in 1.5 hours via SEPTA/NJT. 

I still put up with it because I'm much more productive commuting by train than I am by bus or carpool, and I don't have a car. While it definitely takes a lot of time, at least I can get work done on the train. My recommendation is to invest in a good pair of noise-canceling headphones and a good portable battery / power bank.

I should say that I wouldn't be able to do this commute more than three days a week, however. Most days I'm in Philly, working out of UPenn. I'm writing up my thesis at the moment, so I don't have to worry about being on campus for coursework or teaching. I typically travel once or twice a week for meetings, talks, lectures, or other departmental stuff. I try to collapse as many of these activities into my commuting days as possible, and my adviser has been really understanding about my schedule. During really packed weeks, or when I need to be on campus two days in a row, I crash on a friend's futon rather than commute back-to-back. 

I lived near campus for three years, so I was already "integrated" into the department when I began the commute. The only reason I left was because my partner got a job in Philly. It will definitely take more of an effort to have the same type of departmental life because you'll have to plan around trains and be very good managing your time, but there's no reason that you can't integrate to the same degree that you would if you lived nearby.

[Yanaka]

@Bleep_Bloop thank you for sharing your experience! Similar to my situation, with that. I'm surprised to hear about the delays, but I guess I shouldn't be--I did the trip there and back only once, so I can't really judge. I guess I'll only know if I make the trip several times. Did construction work start recently? 

[Warelin]

On 3/27/2018 at 10:01 PM, Yanaka said:

I'm bumping this thread so I don't need to create a new discussion.

I'm thinking of commuting from my current city to New Brunswick with public transportation, which would be about an hour and a half each way with two trains. Anyone have other experiences of commuting using trains? I'm mostly worried about feeling stuck (like taking the exact same trains every day, not being very flexible especially in the morning), and feeling like you're not integrated with the department. 

Small question here: Have you talked to Rutgers/ French department to let them know this? It might be possible that when they assign teaching, that they could make it so it's on the same day as your coursework! Trying to juggle three different colleges for the past two years has been tricky because of SEPTA delays. Are there any events with Rutgers requires you to attend? (FWIW: I know that John Hopkins requires its English Students to attend ALL English graduate events.)

Some public schools also require its students to establish residency after the first year. Do you know if this is the case for Rutgers?

[Yanaka]

14 minutes ago, Warelin said:

Small question here: Have you talked to Rutgers/ French department to let them know this? It might be possible that when they assign teaching, that they could make it so it's on the same day as your coursework! Trying to juggle three different colleges for the past two years has been tricky because of SEPTA delays. Are there any events with Rutgers requires you to attend? (FWIW: I know that John Hopkins requires its English Students to attend ALL English graduate events.)

Some public schools also require its students to establish residency after the first year. Do you know if this is the case for Rutgers?

So, yes, I was talking with the grad director and although he doesn't seem enthusiastic about it, he didn't mention anything about it influencing my funding package. I probably should reach out to my other contacts there and ask about coursework + TA'ing--I've been sort of ignoring it since I won't be teaching the first year and figured I'd just move next year if the trips don't work out for me. Also I just want to stay in Philly and bury my head in the sand haha.

He didn't say anything about "requirements," but did say that I need to be invested and active in the dpt.

[rising_star]

10 hours ago, Yanaka said:

He didn't say anything about "requirements," but did say that I need to be invested and active in the dpt.

Highly recommend talking to current students to find out what "invested and active" entails. In my MA program, that meant being seen regularly around for events (e.g., colloquia, guest speakers). In other words, you couldn't just show up for your classes and leave, even when on fellowship.

[Yanaka]

4 hours ago, rising_star said:

Highly recommend talking to current students to find out what "invested and active" entails. In my MA program, that meant being seen regularly around for events (e.g., colloquia, guest speakers). In other words, you couldn't just show up for your classes and leave, even when on fellowship.

Not planning to do that in any case!