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Statement of Purpose - structure advice


April12345

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I'm applying to Social Psych PhD programs and starting to work on my statement of purpose. I'm curious - what are your thoughts on general essay structure? Specifically, how *interesting* and/or *captivating* should it be? 

I was looking at some "samples" online and they were incredibly boring (IMO). Originally, I was thinking it should be somewhat stylized (like something you would read on a great blog, but more academic, of course) but maybe I'm wrong?

I keep thinking that I need some sort of "hook" to keep my reader's attention, but maybe that's not necessary in this setting. Hopefully this makes sense. ;) Thank you for your time!

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1 hour ago, April12345 said:

I'm applying to Social Psych PhD programs and starting to work on my statement of purpose. I'm curious - what are your thoughts on general essay structure? Specifically, how *interesting* and/or *captivating* should it be? 

I was looking at some "samples" online and they were incredibly boring (IMO). Originally, I was thinking it should be somewhat stylized (like something you would read on a great blog, but more academic, of course) but maybe I'm wrong?

I keep thinking that I need some sort of "hook" to keep my reader's attention, but maybe that's not necessary in this setting. Hopefully this makes sense. ;) Thank you for your time!

Honestly, I wouldn't try to follow a sample as you don't want to make it seem too formulaic. 

Start with writing a bullet point list of why you want to go to grad school. Pick the most salient points from that list, make a narrative out of it, and fill it with descriptions of how your experience prepare you for pursuing social psych. Try not to make it shocking or flashy, just be true to yourself as you write since this statement is a representation of who you are. Start writing it freely to avoid writers' block. After, go over every sentence and see if that displays you as a qualified candidate. If it doesn't serve a purpose, take it out.

To be honest I don't think a hook is completely necessary. If your hook is related throughout your statement, use it. If it's just something to catch their attention before you get to the 'boring stuff,' leave it out.

 

I'm not sure how much time you have to write your statement, but I found the 'Graduate Admissions Essays' book by Asher quite helpful as I have been writing mine.

 

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Narrative writing is great, but what people want to know is why you chose the program and supervisor that you did. Tell them your background and your research interest. Why are you interested in the school specifically, and why this particular supervisor (if you have to choose a specific supervisor for application)? It should ideally go beyond "overlapping interest" and "top social psych program"--why is this program and this POI the best to reach your research goals? For example, are there any characteristics of the school's population / the available research pool's demographics that best suit your research? Beyond your one specific supervisor, who else do you see yourself working with? You should be able to talk about your skills and experiences throughout as that should build into your research interests.

Anyone can make a narrative about themselves with enough time. What's important is to personalize your letters to each school, and the best way to do it is to actually show why "this school" is the best fit for you beyond generic platitudes.

Edited by Oshawott
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My 2 cents;

Only tell a story when there is an actual story to tell. I'm writing SOPs towards to different topics/research interests. Some may have a story, some don't. I never really used a 'hook' - I believe my credentials and the like should be the hook. Advice that I have had is don't try to be cute, funny, or creative (unless you are - but don't try). Just stick to the facts. 

One has a story and tell how most things I have done the last 5 years are directly related to my interest in topic X. And it's nothing but the truth. It was really when I read paper X that I wanted to pursue this for research, the reason why I moved abroad (relevant to my topic and what there inspired me to do research), and returned to get a grad degree + how the things I did in grad school are related to this topic and how these experiences will help me excel in a PhD. I use the same sort of outline for all SOPs on this topic but change some sentences to make it fit better to that specific school. My last paragraph is about how the school fits to me in mention some specific projects by usually 2-3 faculty members and what I can learn there (e.g., specific methods or they have a quant minor I can take, certain combination of topics, how recent direction person X fits my interest). And then mentions somethings why I would benefit their program too. 

My other ones are more dry. It's about how I want to do research on topic Y and how I got into this topic my first year in grad school by working with prof Y. And that I have been also doing my thesis on topic Y as well, so I have spent a good 2.5 years now pursuing that topic. It then goes on about what I have learned in my 5 years in uni and how it relates to this topic and things I learned during different research projects that I have been a part of. It then proposes some remaining questions or things that are unanswered in the literature (PI that I emailed was intrigued by them so feel its good to repeat them in statement). Then it goes back to how this all relates to uni Z and how it all will help me to be a very succesfull PhD candidate.
It's shorter than my other ones, simply because I do not have a specific motivation or big story to tell about it. I just like it and find it superinteresting and it fits to my background in numerous ways + I have the skills to do it. Yeah it's a lot more dry and less engaging but I'm not gonna come up with a hook or forced story on why I want to study Y - I just got exposed to it and happened to really like it. 

 

So story short; Fit your structure to your essay; not the other way around. Try to 'captivate' or 'hook' them by showing you are qualified and that you have some cool ideas and then go into why them. Don't use empty statements such as 'top school' - they know. Don't go we overlap in interest; say in what ways.

Tell something about a specific framework they use (One school developed this theoretical framework 3 years ago that I used as the basis for my thesis, and another prof there heavily influenced my work in another way, also they have a quant minor, I can develop certain methodological skills with someone else, plus location has great assess to my ideal sample) and how you would fit in (i.e., I am familiar with their dominant frameworks and work done there. I think I can extend their work in ways X, Y, Z which would benefit the overal lbody in literature. Plus I'm experienced and can do stuff such as meta-analyses, know my stats + methods, and my background leads because of A & B). OK for some schools I have a little bit less on why they're a good fit and why I am a good fit; but I make sure to mention some specific things. 

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Wow! All three of these responses are incredibly helpful! I really appreciate the time each of you took to respond.

You all made a great point about "just telling the truth" and "being true to yourself." I really needed to hear that. Not that I wasn't going to tell the truth, of course :) It's just that I was overanalyzing about whether my "truth" is good enough. Is it normal to have imposter syndrome before you even get accepted? LOL

Thank you, again!

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Imposter syndrome is real both before and after you get accepted. Get used to it haha. 

 

Having what i think is a strong SOP that helped me earn entrance to a prestigious clinical program, I echo the sentiments above, but I am personally pro-hook if some conditions are met. First, the hook should be relevant to you and what you are interested in academically. It should not be cliche or too much of a stretch. For example, I am interested broadly in neurodegenerative diseases, so I said “memory makes up the essence of who we are” as my opening line. It’s a powerful line - one that generates thought and interest... and one that leads right into me talking about my background and interest in my mentor and program. 

 

Thus, hooks can work in my humble opinion. 

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What do you mean by hook? Write well and grab the reader's attention but don't get bogged down with personal narrative. Everybody is supposedly enthusiastic and passionate about research so repeated references to unsubstantiated or generic traits can come off as vapid or meaningless.  Be concrete and focus on specific accomplishments. If you haven't read it, look for Appleby & Appleby's article on Kisses of Death in the Grad Application process. When discussing fit, don't just refer to the prestige of the program in a vague way--draw specific connections between its faculty and your interests.

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I am grappling with exactly this problem!! I'm so unsure of whether I should have a hook or not - or if I am making too many references to scholars that have influenced my thinking (if it's too much name-dropping?).

Would anyone on this thread be willing to provide me feedback with that? =(( I'm willing to exchange!

Thankss!

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28 minutes ago, eilonwy21 said:

I am grappling with exactly this problem!! I'm so unsure of whether I should have a hook or not - or if I am making too many references to scholars that have influenced my thinking (if it's too much name-dropping?).

Would anyone on this thread be willing to provide me feedback with that? =(( I'm willing to exchange!

Thankss!

Although I'm by no means an expert - sure!

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On 11/14/2017 at 3:28 PM, Clinapp2017 said:

Imposter syndrome is real both before and after you get accepted. Get used to it haha. 

 

Having what i think is a strong SOP that helped me earn entrance to a prestigious clinical program, I echo the sentiments above, but I am personally pro-hook if some conditions are met. First, the hook should be relevant to you and what you are interested in academically. It should not be cliche or too much of a stretch. For example, I am interested broadly in neurodegenerative diseases, so I said “memory makes up the essence of who we are” as my opening line. It’s a powerful line - one that generates thought and interest... and one that leads right into me talking about my background and interest in my mentor and program. 

 

Thus, hooks can work in my humble opinion. 

Thank you for this!!! Your description is exactly what I was thinking when I mentioned hooks. I read some samples that started out with something like, "I want to be in this program because...," which is fine. It just seemed more my style to use a quote or phrase like you did and then lead into talking about my research interests, etc. 

 

18 hours ago, lewin said:

What do you mean by hook? Write well and grab the reader's attention but don't get bogged down with personal narrative. Everybody is supposedly enthusiastic and passionate about research so repeated references to unsubstantiated or generic traits can come off as vapid or meaningless.  Be concrete and focus on specific accomplishments. If you haven't read it, look for Appleby & Appleby's article on Kisses of Death in the Grad Application process. When discussing fit, don't just refer to the prestige of the program in a vague way--draw specific connections between its faculty and your interests.

@lewin - I think @Clinapp2017 explains the hook angle I was thinking. Thank you for your feedback! And I have that article downloaded :) Thank you for the reminder to reread it. Thank you, again!

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12 hours ago, Hobbesian10 said:

The Appleby article includes such insightful tips as "don't mention you acted in pornographic movies..." I was really on the fence about that, so I'm glad it cleared things up.

 

I know you're joking and that should be common sense, but their tips are based on faculty reports so obviously someone didn't get it. "Don't get drunk on interview weekend" would be another tip that, you'd think, wouldn't need to be said but it happens.

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On 11/15/2017 at 1:39 PM, eilonwy21 said:

I am grappling with exactly this problem!! I'm so unsure of whether I should have a hook or not - or if I am making too many references to scholars that have influenced my thinking (if it's too much name-dropping?).

Would anyone on this thread be willing to provide me feedback with that? =(( I'm willing to exchange!

Thankss!

If you're dropping anyone's names, it should be the faculty members you are interested in working with.

In any case, I should have just posted this the first time but it slipped my mind until now:

At least the opinion of one faculty member at a top US research university

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