Arhodg, I don't think that normally happens (though I don't know for sure). It's more likely that we just don't have accepts/rejects posting to the results, by whatever fluke.
Thankfully, you're not being accepted based on your grasp of traditional womanhood... If you were, you'd be out of luck, since women didn't used to be very welcome in upper academia!
Definitely the, "where are you going next year?" part; and then they rarely seem to understand why you don't know yet. As for your significant other... heh.
I'm planning to send handwritten thank you notes as soon as I know what's what with acceptances and rejections. I worried about waiting that long, but I finally decided that it would let me write a much more meaningful message.
I completely agree with Angua. Definitely email the first professor and thank him for his time and consideration - if you manage to end up in the second lab, you don't want to alienate professors in the department before you even get there!
I agree with Sansao. In addition, I'm not sure your application would even need a final review if you were about to be rejected. It's more likely that they're just double-checking you meet university-wide requirements.