Panabelle

Yeah seriously people stop being nasty trolls just cuz your mother was a hamster and your father smelled of underfunded stipends

If it makes you feel any better, I got into their Ph.D. last year and was offered no funding. That's an even harsher blow. "Oh, sure, I'll go to your program for 5-7 years with no funding. I'll also blowdry my hair in the bathtub to save time! What could go wrong?"

Oh, that's simple. Once you get to a high enough position in academia, you turn into a vampire. You drink blood to survive, of course, but to walk in the day you need to drink in people's despair. Most of the year, the stress of one's own students is enough to get them through the day... but once a year, as winter turns into spring, as the days grow longer and life once again blooms, an extra infusion is required!
 
Cunning and intelligent as academics tend to be, they soon came up with the graduate application process. Think about it: doesn't that explain it a lot better than any so-called rational explanation? ;P

the world revealed by quantum mechanics is one of probabilities, not determined outcomes. physicists haven't believed in determinism since the 19th century. to believe in free will is not to assign the human mind a special status, but rather to say it acts like other matter - partly constrained and subject to laws of probability, but not predetermined.

Not much to add to the debate except to say I do admire those of you who can make the vegetarian/vegan plunge.  I tried it back in ninth grade and lasted all of thirty-seven minutes before I was all
 

Another Plan B:
 
1) Audition for reality shows
2) Act like a giant weirdo (lol, "act") in order to get cast and get lots of screen time
3) ????
4) Profit

I just wanted to clear up that I upvoted in approval of the hilarious sentiment you presented, not that you feel you'll get pissed on.
 
 
PSA: Champagne does not condone person-on-person micturition.

With your interests, it looks like Penn State would be a great fit for you! Of course, Penn State would be a great fit for pretty much ALL of us Rhet/Comp folks, but you know. Ya never know what they're looking for this year... Good luck!
 
Also, I think it's still early for Penn State. Based on a friend's experience with applying last year, seems like acceptances trickle out throughout the season. I've got zero expectations as far as when I might hear a decision from PSU. Sure hope it's a YES when I do hear something!

Proflorax is killing it. Killing it DEAD

Just got the call... IN AT MARYLAND! 

24 going on 87 going on 13

New band name! I call it!
 

This comment is my favorite when taken out of context.

Oh, haha. Yeah, we get all up in each other's business around here; we often ask people to claim an acceptance because if it's real we can start foaming at the mouth/suffering from insomnia immediately.

In at Rochester, with a fellowship!!!

Congrats to everyone who's made it in recently! The Penn State acceptances have made me so jumpy. I freaked out a few minutes ago because I was getting a call from an area code I didn't recognize.....and then it turned out to be a telemarketer. Anyone else having heart-attack-inducing false alarms?

Here's bare for ya: I have NO conference presentations and NO essay awards (not since high school, my friends), and NO academic publications and not even a research assistantship. That's an actual bare CV. The rest of you don't even know the meaning of bare.

Fingers crossed for the best of all news for everyone today! The days are growing longer: soon it will be Spring!
 
Here's to everyone getting in SOMEWHERE so that we can all enjoy the auspices of the coming season without neither dread nor loathing; here's to 100% confidence of acceptance; here's to Friday !
 
Courage, my friends !

WHY AM I ALWAYS OUT OF UPVOTES.