justlucy

Is this essay a formality or is this class competitive so you need to invest serious effort into this? Could you (informally) ask around? If the class is required, I bet this is just a formality. In case it's a serious requirement, I'd stick to the bare essentials - you need to take this class to fulfill a language requirement; you work on X, specifically on X.1 and X.2 and you will need the language skills to do Y and Z and work on question X.3. I don't think you need to be too imaginative here.

Have you thought about maybe taking a leave of absense on medical reasons? Use that time to seek treatment and think over what you truely want to do.

It's hard to know exactly but it seems to me that you are making connections between (imagined) events where there are none. I'm wondering how it is that you know that trash talk is happening in the first place. Seems to me that the things you described could be chalked up to normal professor-student interactions--but your interactions with the married prof. needs to stop immediately and you need to stop trying to contact him, since he clearly is trying to avoid you. He might have been a potential inspiration in the past, but your (pl) actions have taken this opportunity off the table. As for getting short emails from another professor, that doesn't strike me as out of the ordinary and I'm not sure how to decide whether or not you're reading too much into someone "pretending not to see you" or avoiding you. Have you tried scheduling a meeting with this professor to talk about whatever questions you have, or are you just hanging out after class trying to talk to her? After class she may be busy and not have time to talk to students. Honestly even if a prof. was spreading rumors about you, it's hard to imagine another professor going out of their way to ignore you because of it. Furthermore, I think it's a stretch to imagine that the gossip got so out of hand that grad school admins are basing their decisions on it -- I really can't imagine the admins I know doing anything of the sort.

I'm 35.  I walked in December at my M.A. graduation 9 months pregnant with my 5th child.  It's crazy, but fun.  Also, I feel like I am so invested in this---I know the value of every spare second, and I can organize my time well (I understand what it means to be busy with 5 kids under 8, phd apps, conferences ... ).
I think it actually helps!

I also come from an immigrant background (though not necessarily poor). My being a second-generation immigrant (who lived abroad for a number of years) definitely caused disadvantages, and it's clear to me that other people had similar experiences. I had a prejudiced guidance counselor in high school who told me I should try vocational school instead of aiming for university because she thought that Spanish-speaking=stupid. I didn't know about the SAT... the first time I took it I'd only been in the country for a year and no one told me what it was for. I had to educate myself (and this was before the internet!). My parents were not college educated and didn't know the system. I am a lot of "firsts" in my family... and my siblings are now following in my footsteps.  
 
I don't say this out of self-pity... on the contrary, I say this because I can look back at that f***ing @#$% and think... I proved her wrong. I am VERY proud of my heritage, and of what I've been able to accomplish despite people occasionally trying to get in my way. I look at my background as an asset, not an obstacle... just like you do. I was also lucky to have people who did believe in me (parents, teachers, professors, employers). My parents worked really, really hard to provide for us, and my mother was (and still is) very supportive of me through everything I've accomplished.
 
Other people aren't so lucky. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that the system is set up for people who fit a particular mold, and that people who don't fit that mold have to overcome more obstacles than people who do. While I definitely understand what you're saying and also get upset when people make certain assumptions about me, I think that it's a little mean-spirited to go after other people who are simply sharing their experiences in dealing with a system that wasn't ready for their particular brand of awesomeness.
 
 
Perhaps if you stopped judging and started reading with an open mind, you'd see that you have more in common than you think with a lot of the people who posted before you. These experiences are not simply those of "minorities." They are the experiences of people who've had to work a little (a lot?) harder to fit into the mold. That's all.

I just read through basically this entire thread, and without really wanting to discuss my own situation, wanted to bump it & make sure people saw it if they wanted to take some solace in the fact that they aren't alone.
 
Thanks to everyone who posted; this cheered me up after a struggle over whether to disclose class background with a potential program. 

Now that we've completed this process it's time to reflect on the things that took us by surprise.
 
For me, I was absolutely shocked by how impactful the visitations were. My mental rankings of the programs I chose to apply to completely swapped after setting foot on each campus, meeting with my potential PI's, and watching how the department interacted with the recruits.

Thank you so much.
 
I think for me, another compounding reality is that August seems pretty far away. I announced my acceptance to all my friends (who were very excited for me), but now I've turned into "the guy who's leaving." I think people pull back a little when they know that you won't be around long. I don't blame them at all, but it's going to be a long four months!

Just officially accepted Michigan after the coolest visit ever. That place is better than cake.

I visited the University of Michigan, WUSTL, and Rice a few weeks ago, and Ann Arbor was by far the coolest area to live in. U of M has a really open campus, which was new to me having done my undergrad at USC. I was accepted into the Women's Studies and English joint program and had a private visit. Out of the eleven people I met with during my visit every one of them was warm and welcoming, the departments really felt like their own little communities. I also had a chance to meet with four PhD students who were all very friendly and who were happy with their progress in the program. I actually couldn't have had a better visit, which made my decision between the three programs easy! Hope that helps a little! Feel free to PM me if you have a specific question.

Haven't given the official word yet, but I am almost certain I will be accepting an offer from the University of Chicago
 
Now to finish my thesis and survive the rest of senior year (!)

I would avoid going through a rental company. My fiance has lived in Ann Arbor longer than I have and has experience renting from a few of the Ann Arbor rental companies, and his general opinion is that the companies kind of screw over the tenants. I would try to go through individual renters instead, if possible. 

So excited to say that I will be attending the University of Michigan Ann Arbor!

Agreed -- what I did was read through the reviews.  People don't tend to lie about things like mice and roaches -- I was able to narrow down my searches by ditching places with overwhelmingly negative reviews, and figure out which problems we could live with.  

One student at a school I visited said that once she narrowed her search down to a few apartment complexes, she called the local police to ask about safety of the areas and such. They ruled out two of her three choices. I thought that was a great idea and will definitely be employing it once we decide where we are going.
 
Also - thanks for the U-Pack suggestion! I'll definitely be looking into it. 
 
When we moved from Texas to NY two years ago, we just rented a Budget truck and (with both of my husband's parents and my dad) got the truck and our two cars here. It was a huge pain. If you do want to go that route, I would suggest assuming that it will take a lot longer than you think. Add on at least a couple of hours to any Google Maps estimate.

Same deal. My husband I will be moving ourselves, a cat, and a dog from Oregon to either D.C., Indiana, or Texas. We made an even longer trek (and with an additional cat) from Florida to Oregon 6 years ago, and it worked out fine. Our dog was a puppy at the time so he was in a kennel, as were the cats, but we made sure to stop every couple of hours so he could have a play break. Sure, it added some time to our trip but saved our sanity. We found most Best Westerns are pet-friendly and cats generally get really vocal after 9 hours in a car. 
 
As for pet-friendly housing, we've been lucky here; it seems everyone has a dog. In general though, independent landlords as opposed to apt complexes are more open to pets. Check around on Craigslist, and ask those in the area for recommendations. Also, don't rule out a place because the ad says "no pets." Give the landlord a call, explain the situation, and offer to have your dog meet him/her. It's worked for us. Good luck!

So excited to say that I will be attending the University of Michigan Ann Arbor!

So excited to say that I will be attending the University of Michigan Ann Arbor!

So excited to say that I will be attending the University of Michigan Ann Arbor!

So excited to say that I will be attending the University of Michigan Ann Arbor!

So excited to say that I will be attending the University of Michigan Ann Arbor!

Yes yes yes email her! That way, she can plan ahead and find the best restaurant to meet your needs. There is nothing rude about taking care of your health! You aren't being pushy by notifying your program about any special diet needs; rather, you are ensuring a safe visit. 
 
ETA: I informed all schools I visited that I am vegetarian beforehand (which is not as significant as a serious food allergy). It was no big deal, and that way, I knew I would have something to eat at all the events!

Going to visit on the 10th of April...

I think this is all very revealing, in a variety of ways. Two things above any other: if you're unhappy even with the existence of fields and subjects you don't like (or think you don't like) being influential or respected, please, don't go to grad school. I say that for your sake and for the sake of the people who will work with you. There's a lot of wiggle room in graduate education, but one of the no-bullshit, non-negotiable realities is that people and ideas you don't find that impressive are going to be elevated all the time. I think anybody who's been exposed to grad school, from all across the university and its many disciplines, can tell you that there's a lot of people who are perpetually miserable because they're angry about other people's prominence and success. There's a real "misunderstood genius" problem in the academy, of people who feel neglected because they don't respect the work that's getting published or rewarded. We all feel critical about other people's success sometimes. But for me, that was one of the first things I had to let go. Because it's never going to change, not even if/when you get tenured. If you can't stand the thought of these subjects becoming prominent, you should seriously reconsider if you're a good fit for grad school.
 
Second, you guys keep trying to find some argument by which it's responsible or useful to prejudge entire fields of inquiry while admitting you haven't read them. You can't, because that's juvenile and unfair. You're operating from a position of ignorance and should let it go.

Or Ryan Gosling. "Hey girl, you may be rejected from UF but you're totally accepted into my heart."