Nautiloid

Missouri.

I just want to share this in light of the Harry Potter focus. One semester in Undergrad, I had Professor Moody for Orgo, and I was supposed to have Professor Lockhart for Microbiology (Pathogenic microbes = dark arts, obviously). However, Dr. Lockhart had a stroke and was unable to teach the class due to... memory problems. Yes, I went to Hogwarts.

glowed

Sweetie Pie

I'm sort of ambivalent between UCI and USC right now. I do know that I'm perfectly ready to leave behind snow, tornadoes, violent thunderstorms, gale winds, dangerous heat/humidity, dangerous cold/wind chills, freezing rain/ice pellets, hail, and catastrophic floods. The place I live was not meant to have humans living in it. We should all vacate, lest we anger the temperate climate gods further.

, the Unfortunately, the cat consumed all glory of the moon and stars. It gave him severe anxiety, but also he received the power to fly. A joy. Suddenly...Bees! They flew around, jealous, plotting murder, arson, etc. They were searching for hundreds of floating wildebeest. These evil bees converged into a mega bee! Zooming fiercely throughout the glen, until they could find unsuspecting marsupials, the

could Unfortunately, the cat consumed all glory of the moon and stars. It gave him severe anxiety, but also he received the power to fly. A joy. Suddenly...Bees! They flew around, jealous, plotting murder, arson, etc. They were searching for hundreds of floating wildebeest. These evil bees converged into a mega bee! Zooming fiercely throughout the glen, until they could

I'm unreasonably susceptible to seasonal depression. If I end up moving somewhere where I can't go outside 50% of the year, I'm gonna need a sun lamp. Sometimes I feel like a total reptile.

Waiting to hear back from USC after an interview myself. It's going to be really hard not to base my final decision on weather conditions. Putting SoCal and the Northern Midwest on opposing sides of a scale hardly seems fair considering the long winter we've had.

Cat suit.

, but

From a few years back, this one is kind of oddly satisfying. Given, maybe UCI isn't in the top 10, but it's rated as highly as some Ivy Leagues for the program this was associated with. Perhaps the poster's maturity level was a major reason for the rejection. That's just like, your opinion, man.

Oh, don't worry. The first moment I'm not stressed I go straight for the carbs. It's like I've exited a long torpor, and the dawn of the first day of spring is made of food. Donuts, pasta, cake, cookies, breads, and fries, consider yourselves devoured come April. You have been warned, my tasty little pretties.

It's strange to feel nothing at all and then have someone call the apathy depression, but that's exactly what it is. It may not be chronic, and it may not be traditional, but having no motivation in life for anything you're doing is a very difficult situation to be in. I felt much the same as you've described a couple of years ago when I was about half way through undergrad. I felt like I was studying biology just to study something (I had forgotten my original reason), and I didn't see much worth doing anything with it past obtaining my degree. It is extremely important to know, however, that the sense of apathy that I felt was not inherent, but a symptom of a bigger problem. Mostly, I was afraid of totally devoting myself to one thing, especially something I wasn't entirely sure I was intelligent enough to do (insecurity was a big problem for me, personally). What changed? Very small things over a long period of time. I started challenging myself and jumping into courses that I thought were beyond my skill level. I eventually stopped fearing failure and embraced it as an old friend who I would come to meet over and over, but each time I'd learn something profound from it. I abandoned schedules and rigidity. Sometimes this caused me trouble, but it was worth it in the long run. None of this is easy though. It takes a lot of time and effort to change an attitude, especially if it's been around for 8 years or more. Even now, I struggle with wondering whether or not I'll stay motivated. There are still often days I feel like a complete impostor in my field, but it's, very gradually, getting better. Just know that you're not alone in feeling this way. Lots of people begin their careers with oppressive apathy towards the future. That's sort of what exploration is all about. You have to try and find yourself, even if you don't like what you discover. I'm not entirely sure that I'll have success in a PhD program, or that I'll even finish the first year, but that isn't going to stop me from trying. I hope this has given you something to ponder, and maybe a glimmer of hope that things will improve with time. Best wishes.

Busy work

I'm a stress non-eater, so I generally forgo food when stressed. However, I don't even want to check how much weight I've lost during this process. I know I'm already looking a little bony. Hopefully I'll be able to gain some of it back once I've accepted an offer. Stress eaters, teach me your ways?

In heat ;D

Latent function

One of my interviewers asked me to tell her how I would go about characterizing a developmental mutant in the span of 2 years with a magical lab where everything works and an army of undergrads. I had 10 minutes to talk all the way through it. Needless to say, my response was a jumbled, crazy, hot science mess. I got in anyway. Sometimes I think they're looking for simple answers. Just be truthful. If you just like the environment of the place, so be it. It's not like they're going to judge you for having a bad reason (unless of course you don't have a reason, but then why did you apply in the first place?).

Beauty Mark

I took a gap year and I'm quite happy with that decision. I got a job as a research specialist in my field, so I was able to continue building myself up for applications. I allowed myself to explore and relax a bit before starting Grad school, and the application process was much more manageable out of school. I'm already a bit younger than most of my classmates (Summer Birthday), so the gap year has let me catch up age-wise. There are downsides, however: I'm a bit bored with the work I'm doing in industry. You might see this as a pro though, as it has certainly motivated me to actually seek out PhD programs with a bit more urgency. I think I've grown a bit lazy. I'm no longer used to working 10 hours a day, and that might come back to bite me later. All in all though, it's been good for me. If I had to choose whether or not to repeat my decision, I would still choose the same.

Just got an email from the Irvine CMB director telling me to hold off on accepting offers from other schools because I'm near the top of the wait list, and that it is likely that I will be admitted. Score! In other news, anyone visited or looked into U of Wisconsin-Madison's Cellular and Molecular Pathology program?

Sorry to Hear that. I got wait listed there myself, but I don't think I have much hope for getting bumped into an acceptance. Seems like the competition was really tough this year and spots were very limited.

I'm starting to think that a 5 interview to 5 rejection ratio is kind of alright. Hang in there, applicant cohort. Good things come to those who wait.

I am sincerely glad that your experience has been better than mine. I like to think that things are better on the coasts than they are in the Midwest, but I wouldn't really know. In the past, I've been treated as less knowledgeable by colleagues when I've appeared more feminine. Proving them wrong can be fun, but it is also exhausting. I should append to my previous post, however, that one should be comfortable and confident during an interview above all else. If you feel best in a skirt, the confidence you exude should replace any preconceived notions. As for makeup, it's almost expected that women wear it, regardless of how they're dressed. I think it probably falls into the category of looking well groomed for most people. I didn't mention anything about it before, but I think it's a good idea for men and women if it makes them more confident. If not, as long as you're not visibly dirty, it really shouldn't matter (even though it seems to).