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I can't speak as to the first issue (I've always heard the deadline is April 15th, period, but that could just be for the programs I'm interested in or I may be misinformed!), but as to the second, I've definitely heard of ordered waitlists. One reason a waitlist may be unordered is that you may be waitlisted, but for one professor. So, there are 15 waitlist applicants, and they aren't ordered, because it doesn't matter whether you're #1 or #12, it only matters whether your professor winds up with an open spot or not. Decisions are made off the waitlist on a variety of factors, some of which are the same as pre-waitlist factors (fit, grades, etc), some are not. I talked with the professor whose research lab I'm volunteering for--he's on the admissions committee at his school, and he had a bit of insight. He said that the level you contact your professor definitely impacts your place on the waitlist, and it can help or harm you. If you contact too much and are annoying, or make unreasonable demands on their time, you go down the list. If you don't contact at all, they assume you aren't interested, and go down the list. If you contact the right amount (every 2 weeks after being told, he suggested), then they know you're very interested but you haven't acted inappropriately, and you go up the list. Of course, there's no guarantee, and that's just his experience at his school.

Something else to keep in mind is that they only waitlist people that they would be happy to accept. I too get a little paranoid about this, but I always remind myself "if they didn't want me, they'd just reject me."

annnd my news was just--on the waitlist, he wants to make an offer to me, but is waiting to hear back from the student he made an offer to, and that student has until april 15th. in retrospect, i kinda choked--I now see soo many opportunities to say things like "well even if it comes down to april 15th, I'm still interested" (especially because i heard today that i'm off the waitlist and rejected for my other school), but all i said at the time was like "mmhmm" and "yes" etc. I think it's just because I was surprised because I'd kind of rehearsed what to say it if was a rejection or a notification that I'm low on the waitlist, but I didn't really rehearse anything to say to that. Oh well, he also said to "keep in touch" (which makes me want to pull out my hair...guess i'll be sending another faux-casual email in a few weeks to see whether anything's changed"

aah so I guess we'll both have updates tomorrow! fingers crossed they're at least neutral

Thanks guys. I know it won't be the end of the world if he or I say something a little awkward, I think I'm just so nervous because I have no idea what to expect.

oh my god this just occurred to me--what if my POI at the waitlist school asks me if I have other offers? I don't, but I'm worried that if he asks and I say that this is my only potential school, he'll think the only reason I'm interested is that it's my only option (which it's not, this school became my top choice after I interviewed there and assessed the fit and opportunities I'd have there). Will he ask me? How on earth do I reply to that?

Very good point. Asking for a rejection, as opposed to withdrawing, may burn some bridges. And word might get out.

Augh sent a follow up email to my POI, he says he's going to call me sometime early next week to check in. Fingers crossed it's good news (or at least not bad news).

One specific thing you said in the first post is somewhat important: when they said "out loud" that they didn't do the assigned reading, were they saying it in a quite conversational aside, like "oh man I forgot to do the reading," or were they loudly announcing it to the class, like "well I didn't read this so I have nothing to say." ? Because those are two very different scenarios. If it was the latter, then I agree, that strikes me as inappropriate. However, if it was the former scenario, then I can understand why your reaction of silent eye-rolling was taken as an indicator of you being stuck-up. Additionally, your somewhat smug analysis of their behavior in class "sat there the entire time, arms crossed, no notes, nothing" rubs me the wrong way. Sitting with one's arms crossed is hardly a sign that one is unprepared or unable to take in a discussion, it may just mean that you're cold or like having your arms crossed. Additionally, you forget that not everyone learns the same way. It's clear that you're someone who learns best by taking notes and actively participating in the class discussion. Not everyone learns that way. Some people find that the process of taking notes distracts them from the gist of what's being said, and if the class's structure is a discussion rather than a lecture, I can see why someone might not opt to take notes. Similarly, some people just do not enjoy speaking up in class. Keep in mind that your experience with these people has thus far been limited to a single semester. People have the capacity for growth. If you choose to permanently deign certain people as not worth your time, don't be surprised if they do the same to you.

Of course there's always another option: someone has claimed to OP that "oh yeah i mean i know i got a rejection letter from [this program], but that's just because i asked them to reject me. it's not a reflection on me," and she's trying to check whether that's even possible.

Well, I can't tell you a ton, but I can tell you: you would not be a transfer student. There's not a way to transfer like there is in college, you'd be applying like everyone else would. I can tell you that I've also heard that unless you have a big reason (family death, or something similar), quitting a program after a few years and applying elsewhere is seen as a red flag, and something that you would need to explain. So basically: I would suggest you really assess whether you maybe are experiencing some cold feet with your current program, or whether your research focus/personal needs have changed enough that you're willing to go through this whole process again, knowing that you might be burning bridges at your current program, and that it's possible you wouldn't get into any others. Sorry for being a bit of a debbie downer.

oooooh wow it seems super obvious now. thank you for clearing that up!

another gem and i have a semi-random question: I keep seeing people write some variation of #a/#r/#w in the notes. What on earth does that mean?

i like the dramatically sad ones the best

One of my favorites two of my favorites are from eastern michigan university and