Eigen

From my experience things are very rarely as one-sided as you describe. I have no intention of helping you hurt someone's tenure case, so let me just mention a few things:
- "She did not object" -- this one reads so wrong to me. She didn't say "yes, go ahead and do one of these"? What did she say? In some other contexts, we would be having a conversation right now about the meaning of consent. 
- "This summer, she left for abroad" ... " "She's an assistant professor and is always away on trips, giving talks, etc..." -- what's the problem here? It's the summer. I'm going to go out on a limb and assume that just like at most other universities, she's paid 9 months of the year, but not over the summer. Investing in her career at this time is crucial. It's very common for professors be to less accessible over the summer and to cut down on advising and service (and there's no teaching) because they are not paid to do that over the summer.
- "I mentioned this and never got any response from her again, be it email, Slack, whatever. I had to have her PhD student get my words through to her somehow." -- how long did you wait? Someone who is traveling might take a longer time to reply. See above about not getting paid to advise over the summer. Is this really as time-sensitive as you seem to think it is? Students I am working with, for example, understand that while they may work on proposals over the summer, I will be available to give more extensive feedback in the fall. 
- "Later I sent her a proposal and she rejected it. "" ... I'm so angry at the unequal relationship and utter disrespect she's shown by totally ignoring me..." --- first off, you should get this straight: the relationship is unequal. You are a trainee, not a peer. She is entirely within her rights to ask for changes to a proposal, including ones that may make you unhappy. As for the ignoring you part, see above. 
So my bottom line is this: you asked someone to advise you, and she took you on. You just started working on a proposal, not even agreeing on a topic yet. You wrote something up based on ideas you had that she had apparently not okayed and sent it to her. She read it and commented on it, but suggested a different topic. You objected in an email, which she hasn't responded to yet. Some unclear sequence of events transpired here, where you eventually had a PhD student contact her (we don't know how long you waited and if/how you followed up). Meanwhile, it's the summer, she is pre-tenure, traveling, and working on her case, most likely not even getting paid over the summer for advising-related activities. Now you want nothing more to do with her, and you're looking to harm her career. No, thank you.  

@cowgirlsdontcry, yep! It's one thing to prepare for your own defense. But another to chair a handful and be a reader for another handful. The amount of work definitely increases when you're a faculty member.

So here's what I've come up with (this took me years by the way). There are six things needed to survive in a location you don't love and/or in a position you don't love but you actually only need half of them at any time. They are (in no particular order) alcohol/drinking, therapy, church/religion, sex, travel, working out. It can also be some combo of these things. Some of it is about endorphins, some about getting out there and doing things, and some about actually working through issues. If you're lonely, look for meetup groups or become a regular at a coffee shop or bar. Take up an activity you've always wanted to pursue (lately, for me, that's been group fitness classes). It's all survivable if you want it to be, though I know it can be hard to remember that sometimes. Good luck!

Not a formal interview, but I've given "job talks" at places where an audience member is an opponent of an idea/model/theory that I was working on and speaking about. The advice I got was to ensure you show them that you know about their work and that you acknowledge it. Ensure that you aren't presenting your idea/theory/work as the only correct method. I would first present the research question, then talk about how your chosen theory can answer it. Then, say something like, "However, this is still an open question, and Prof X here argues that ...." State why their work is good but then professionally highlight why you would disagree. Don't be afraid to also mention the weaknesses in your chosen theory. I would try to end on some common ground. I think as long as you are open/honest about differing opinions and don't make it personal, it should be okay! 

You can ask, but there's a good chance they won't have them ready. 
I make up mine the week before class starts, and wouldn't expect to have them finalized for a student until the first day of class. 
As for getting ready, take time off, relax, travel. This will be your last summer off in, well, ever. Enjoy it. 

I pretty much agree with @Eigen and @fuzzylogician. Like Eigen, I have way too many meetings sometimes. It's easy for me to remember the ones that occur every week or every other week but much harder to remember when I schedule a meeting with a student outside of my office hours. As a result, I'm frequently late to those (even though I have a reminder set up on my phone for every single freaking meeting), which often results in me sending an apology email to let the student know I'm on my way. I'll be honest and say that I wish this weren't the case but, it is. If the reminder goes off when I'm in the middle of writing a paragraph or coding data, I'm going to finish that before heading to the meeting. Does this annoy students? Probably. But that's part of the price they pay when we can't do something during my regularly scheduled office hours. 
It's definitely worth asking other grad students if this is a pattern or not. It could be that the professor has other things going on (it's summer; family issues; health issues; etc.) that are affecting their ability to show up for meetings or even to remember them. While one should never force a professor to disclose issues of a personal nature (I have a story I can tell about students doing that to me which just goes to show why you shouldn't), it's worth being accommodating at least initially because you really don't know what's going on in the other person's life. 
If other students say it's a pattern, then you'll have to decide whether the benefits of working with the person outweigh attributes that annoy you. That's something none of us can tell you. My PhD advisor could be a bit of a flake but, when needed, they were absolutely there for me, backing up my research, reading drafts, etc. I was willing to put up with some of the flakiness and forgetfulness because ultimately it was worth it to me to work with that particular person (in terms of long-term career outcomes). YMMV obviously.

I don't personally take a very absolutist approach to this- everyone gets busy and is late or misses things. I do, however, get frustrated rapidly with people who are hypocritical about it. If your PI is someone that forgets things frequently but expects you to never forget things, that's bad. If they're forgetful and assume everyone else is, I think that's just part of personality fit. 
That said, as @fuzzylogician mentions, there are strategies to minimize this. When I was in grad school, my PI was known for missing things regularly- including meetings with collaborators that I'd then have to run. 
I started doing tiered reminders- set up an appointment, remind the day before, text about half an hour before the appointment and remind. You can do this in a way that's not accusatory and doesn't come across as "parental". Just email the day before with a quick question about the meeting, and the morning of with a "Hey, just making sure we're still on for meeting at 10:30". 
I used to make a lot more assumptions about professors not making appointments being flaky, but as I've transitioned, the sheer number of appointments I have most days makes it really easy to forget one here or there, no matter how organized I try to be. And my schedule is nowhere as busy as some of my senior colleagues, who have nonstop meetings and classes 8-6 most days of the week. In short, I try to not view people missing or forgetting things as an absolute character flaw, and try to give them the slack I would hope other people would give me. I also think it's a lot harder to go through life viewing things like punctuality for appointments as a direct sign of respect, and rather make it about how the person reacts or interacts when they've forgotten something. 
That said, this type of difference, especially one you feel so strongly about, this early on? Probably means they're not a good fit for an advisor. If it bothers you now, it's going to drive you crazy after 5-7 years of managing it. 

All of the above. 
The workload is usually a significant increase, with courses covering 1.5-3x more material than corresponding undergraduate courses. Depending, obviously, on what you were used to. 
Papers are generally expected to be lied and more thorough, and the reading load is a lot higher. 
Lab work is almost nonexistent in courses, but you're expected to be working 40ish hours a week on your thesis project outside of classes. 
Grading is generally harder, but if you went to a top notch undergrad and are comparing to a lower tier grad school, it may not be as different.
That said, the main challenge isn't coursework, as courses matter less. It's learning to do independent research. 
If you're looking at coursework only programs, some of the above might not apply to you. 

Definitely do it. I can't speak so much for the situation in Canada, but it's typical for diversity to be ranked extremely high in importance at my current school. For one, if the pool is not diverse enough (or not enough people identify as diverse), it's not atypical for the search to be cancelled and re-advertised. For another, generally, if there are two relatively equally qualified people, preference for a hire will likely to go to the person with demonstrated diversity. 

So after some of the recent discussion elsewhere on the board, I thought it might be nice to start an (admittedly early) job market support thread for those of us going on (or back on) the market in this upcoming cycle. 
For people on for the first time, I thought it might be nice to start early as a place to ask questions as you're preparing materials, and give those of us on for multiple years a place to commiserate and soothe our souls by helping someone else out. 
Since we have such a relatively small group of people at this stage, lets start with a combined thread for all of our woes, and can split it into disciplines if we want at a later date if the crowd grows enough. From conversations with friends, the application process isn't so different that there isn't a ton of overlap. 

Wow.  Ok so I have a few thoughts here, hopefully I can express them in an organized fashion.
First your fiance........
I understand deciding against buying an overpriced house especially when it is unclear how long the market will be stable, but telling you that commuting over an hour to school while living apart is "totally doable" is not a generous offer.  You don't need to discuss all the details of your relationship, but if you 2 are open to living together prior to the wedding then it seems odd that he wouldn't be interested in renting a place with you that reduces the commute burden (potentially for both of you).  If he's willing to help you with expenses then it seems like living together is an easier way to do that especially if you're getting married next year.  
Commuting to school........
I commuted over an hour for my unfunded Master's program and it worked out well.  I was able to keep my job and health benefits while adjusting my work schedule so that I could time my drive so I didn't sit in traffic.  However, all of those hours on the road were still lost and the extra wear on my car lead to increased maintenance costs.  
Now that I'm in a PhD program I realized immediately that a commute that far would not work with all of the skills and training I wanted to gain.  There are students in my program who live 30+ minutes away (by freeway) and the hassle is evident on their faces.  Sometimes traffic and/or parking is horrendous so they're late.  Sometimes they have to drive to campus for only their lab meeting that ends after 15 minutes or for one client who no shows.  Or something gets left at home or on campus and another trip has to be made.  Other times they have to be in the lab late or see clients late and if their day has already been 10+ hours long a lengthy drive on top of that sucks and could be dangerous.  If their car breaks down and there's no public transit where they live then they're screwed.  
You don't have to live in walking distance of campus, but it is advantageous to be within 10-15 minutes on city streets or have the option of taking public transit quickly.  This is precisely my situation now and its fabulous.  I have more time for studying, seeing clients on or offsite, and lab work.  I don't have to get up very early if I don't want to and even after long days on campus I don't get home so late that I'm too tired to do anything else.  
Living at home.......
I too am an older student and the best decision I made was spending a little bit more to live all by myself in a bigger place.  This way I have a whole room that is an office with plenty of room to brainstorm, cartwheel, or lay on the floor and vent Mindy Lahiri style.  If your parents are familiar with the life of a grad student and a dedicated quiet space can be created for you then that might be different.  But if that isn't an option and their place is too far then do not do this to yourself.  If you and your fiance find a way to live together I highly suggest making sure the place can accommodate your having a dedicated office.  Being able to shut the door on all your school stuff will give you a sense of separation when you take breaks and allow you to immerse yourself in a task while he's home doing something else.
Sticking with your chosen program.......
Ultimately this is going to be your call.  I think your current advisors make a good point that it is very difficult to get into any program with some funding, especially a neuropsych program.  If the faculty you'll have access to are well known in their field and their former students have gone on to successful careers then that is definitely something to keep in mind.  You say the funding package isn't great, but is doable.  You don't have to provide details, but really think about what that means.  Does doable mean only with your fiance's help?  If so that's a big risk if something were to happen with your relationship or his financial situation.  Does doable mean with a few student loans?  If you're still eligible for the federal ones then this isn't a terrible option in my opinion.  If doable means sacrificing your health or safety in some way then its not worth it.
Also think about how challenging application cycles are.  You got into a program for this season, but if you reapply next year that doesn't mean you will.  Programs able to take (and fund) students change, advisors may seek a different fit, other applicants may stand out more than you, and my understanding is professors talk and may find it odd that you rejected a perfectly good offer.  Or you might get several offers and still be unhappy with the funding.  So maybe a good way to look at it is if you reject your current offer and reapply next year, will you be willing to reapply the following year if for some reason you don't get in or find your funded offers lacking?

it's understandable that essay writers may not be the best judge, and have limited knowledge along with other reasons 
but i'll guess that 40-60% of the progress could be made if they really thought deeply about the questions and it'll be helpful to them

I can give you some advice as to the matter of your threatened eviction. I was a social worker for 10 years and worked at my (then) county's legal aid office.
What housing is threatening you with is both illegal and prejudicial. Your daughter's diagnosed, documented psychiatric conditions may qualify her for APD benefits, if she does not receive those already. Even if she does not qualify for APD benefits, you cannot evict someone as a result of behaviors that stem from a psychiatric illness. That is a violation of the Fair Housing Act, which you can read here: https://www.justice.gov/crt/fair-housing-act-1.
You can afford to lawyer up; here's how: contact your local legal aid office. Their whole existence is based on the fact that people without a lot of financial means need legal services, too. Call them, complete the intake process, attend your appointment, and they will be able to help you with this. 
I have to echo Eigen's remarks: end-of-year or mid-program reviews aren't designed to make you feel good. They don't have to say anything positive about you at all, although many professors or advisors do. The criticism isn't personal and isn't a sign of your being "unwelcome;" it's standard criticism given by mentors whose job it is to prepare you for a career in academia. 
You certainly don't have to answer this question publicly, but it sounds to me like you are under an enormous amount of stress between being a graduate student and a working mother of multiple children, including one with severe psychiatric illness. So my (rhetorical) question is, how are you? Are you receiving any treatment or support for anxiety? Perhaps it would be good to access some support in that aspect.
Please send me a PM if you need any help or have any questions about accessing legal services. I'm happy to do what I can for you.

Interestingly enough, the IRS has been trying to offer this system here for years, but it keeps getting blocked by tax preparer lobbyists, who argue that the government would use it to "trick people out of money", even though the IRS's proposed system would let you *either* use the pre-filled form OR do it yourself. 
Given the average cost of an accountant.... I'd much prefer to just get a bill and not have to deal with it yearly. I could go over it and see if anything looked wrong, but wouldn't have to figure it all out from scratch. 

'impossible to read' (almost)
if this is verifiably true,
and presuming it's 'like a stream of conciousness'
* then why am i and other educated ppl able to comprehend content that are similar?
* & why do linguists and other relevant ppl say that there are semantics in such?
if this is verifiably true that is
--
for clarity, verifiably would be based on science & testing
 

"no real coherent topic"
im very interested to hear your argumentation and evidence on this claim
please free feel to present it
please try to put them in bullet points from top to bottom for easier reading as they do in real life in the real world
* what school did you go to btw? im just curious is all
 

This post, like most of your other recent posts here, makes absolutely no sense. Is there a point you are trying to make, other than your apparent impatience and negativity? 

i need someone with impeccable structuring skills
 
for w/e note/doc program you use,
if you found/created an effective way to search the software and locate/find MASSIVE amounts of notes ACROSS ALL TOPICS IN ACADEMIA AND LIFE to instantly find exactly what you need,
then you've solved a common problem many ppl have -- that nobody has solved yet
---
and should be president of the next newest & upcoming leading university in the entire universe
 

I don't recall either of them being too bad. They're intended to be used as final exams for courses in ACS certified departments. 
When I had to take mine, I just went and reviews my undergrad textbooks and tests, and they were close enough. 

You need to specify a field here. In most STEM fields, working 12 months is pretty common. 
2 weeks of vacation or so is the norm in my field, with the rest of the year being full time work. 

Both of these things are, imo, normal parts of grad school (getting asked random questions with no preparation, as well as feeling like other people think you don't belong), as well as the rest of academic life.
You can only prepare so much, especially depending on what your background is. That said, what you should focus on being able to do is, as you say, think on your feet. You can preface it (I'm not that familiar with past project X, but...) and then give what you feel is a reasonable answer. 
One of the most important things to be able to do, really for the rest of your career, is give reasonable off the cuff answers without having it stress you out. I get this type of random question in campus interviews, I get it when I'm giving seminars at a new school, and I even get it from colleagues. I also get it an awful lot from students, who seem to be able to (with no malice) find the one tangential area to a lecture that I didn't read too deeply into, and asking probing and insightful questions that I have no idea how to answer. 
For the second part, I think a lot of what you're feeling is what's called "imposter syndrome". It's the feeling like you don't belong, like everyone else is smarter, and they think you don't belong either. It's really common among academics, and I encourage you to read some of the great resources here, on the Chronicle of Higher Education forums, and other academic sites about how to deal with it. A lot of times knowing it's normal and common is one of the crucial first steps. 

It's hard, but I would advise decoupling how you think of your happiness for career success. 
Any of the options you list are going to be hard to land even with a PhD, and I think you overestimate the amount of happiness you'll get from the "challenge" of the work.

All of the above. 
The workload is usually a significant increase, with courses covering 1.5-3x more material than corresponding undergraduate courses. Depending, obviously, on what you were used to. 
Papers are generally expected to be lied and more thorough, and the reading load is a lot higher. 
Lab work is almost nonexistent in courses, but you're expected to be working 40ish hours a week on your thesis project outside of classes. 
Grading is generally harder, but if you went to a top notch undergrad and are comparing to a lower tier grad school, it may not be as different.
That said, the main challenge isn't coursework, as courses matter less. It's learning to do independent research. 
If you're looking at coursework only programs, some of the above might not apply to you. 

For a PhD applicant, a 3.5 GPA is not a very good GPA. It's just enough to not raise eyebrows - assuming this is cGPA, not GPA in major. Average admitted GPAs in PhD programs range from A- to higher.
5 or 6 acquaintances of mine graduated with their education masters in this most recent class. All of them from top programs. Those of them who are not working at entry or mid-level positions in run-of-the-mill schools and districts are all on temp contracts or doing internships. The ones who are doing work that I, an outsider, perceive as more prestigious have previous relevant work or academic experience (e.g. one got a nice opportunity in POC empowerment, and she has been doing race work since her undergrad thesis). I get the feeling that the field is competitive and a degree doesn't guarantee you a job.
I think you're right. You don't say what your field is, but it seems like you've gotten a lot of unrelated degrees, not just subject-wise, but in terms of how they connect to your career. It seems like you got a degree in one professional field, but didn't work in that, then in another, didn't work in that either, and so on. Rightly or wrongly, you seem flaky. I struggled to get my first job out of undergrad as well, it is NOT easy out there, but I think, at a point, it may be worthwhile to stop getting degrees and consider if it's something else, like your soft skills, that needs attention.
Another factor is that, and I'm trying to put this nicely (I really am, mods!), your expectations are unrealistic. It is not possible - it is almost certain that you will not become a professor. That you would be "content" with a director role anywhere is likewise out of touch. These are all extremely competitive positions that aren't just handed out to people with 3.5 undergrad GPAs. They aren't handed out to people with 3 publications in top journals and a PhD from MIT either. You need to be an expert in your field, an exceptionally hard worker, and well-liked by your colleagues to get them. There is also a not-insignificant element of luck. Most people with PhDs don't end up in those jobs.
lol  To quote something I read on the internet, the DC metro sets itself on fire every day.

I don't doubt that you're capable of doing PhD-level work, but from your writing it doesn't sound like a PhD is a good career move for you right now. I think you are much too focused on the joy that a doctoral program will bring you, and I doubt that any program could measure up. Grad school doesn't generate instant happiness, and neither does a job as a university professor. I think it's important to be realistic and realize that getting such a job is incredibly difficult. For someone who's been drifting and has done three masters degrees, I think it's a concern. I didn't read anything in your post that convinced me that you should actually do a PhD. You don't sound focused on a particular field or question; instead, you're attracted to a mystical perfect job post-PhD that doesn't exist. It's important to realize that a PhD is a long and difficult road, and that the majority of people who go into it will not get a job as a professor. Don't go into it only to get that outcome, because it's just not realistic. I think instead it might be a good idea to do two things. One is get help improving your mental health. The other is try to think about career goals, broadening your sights beyond academia.