TheWalkingGrad

It really depends on your program and your field. At my school a friend of mine got a C in a foundational course for the degree and nothing happened to her. I suggest you ask your advisor what they think. Good luck!

Yes, all of this. The moment universities start to get away with hiring recent PhDs without pay it all goes to hell.

I'm pretty sure that comment was a reference to these comments you made. But thanks for the unnecessary mansplaining!

Oh sorry, I didn't realize I was talking to a specialist in gender discrimination, which now I'm assuming you are since you've apparently read everything there is to read on the subject. When you question if this is discrimination or not, you're invalidating the experiences of the majority of women in academia who have in fact suffered some sort of discrimination based on gender. This "pareto-optimal" situation you mention didn't materialize out of thin air, and it is not an accident that it benefits a "certain kind of person" that usually happens to be male. Great, then don't get pissy when people point it out. Honestly, at this point it looks like you're just arguing to be a troll. If you can't understand a major issue in your very profession it's not some random person on the internet that'll open your eyes. Good luck in life.

Congrats on your acceptances! From what you wrote I'd go with school A, but there are other things I consider: cost of living in both cities, if program A would increase the stipend if you stayed for the PhD, if you decided to go somewhere for a PhD which school would put you in a better position to do that, etc.

Didn't you just say this a couple of hours ago? You chose to ignore the arguments people used to rebut your claims, as you're choosing to ignore my point, which I made very clear. If you need further proof that there is a gender bias agains women in academia, you can just google "gender bias in academia". One of the first results is this article that lists a bunch of academic papers throughout. The information is there, just as listed here. And the way you keep saying I'm making an emotional claim just furthers my point that you can't comprehend a plight that goes beyond your direct line of view. I'm making a inference from the comments you made that I've read on this thread and elsewhere that you're not emotionally intelligent.

You're denying that there is gender discrimination that favors men in academia. Aren't you? I'm not ignoring what you said, but other people have already responded to that when you first raised those arguments, so I figured if you didn't get it the first time, there would be no point in repeating it. I'm not making an emotional argument, I'm pointing out that you don't have emotional intelligence to understand an issue that does not affect you.

@Comparativist Start with these. You're clearly refusing to listen to what most women in academia (your field included) are saying. You are being part of the problem by denying the problem exists. I'm sorry you can't muster enough empathy to put yourself in other people's shoes, but you're just contributing to a hostile environment for your female colleagues.

There's no such thing as "male" and "female" professions. Women are pushed to professions such as nursing and teaching because as infants we are conditioned to be "motherly and caring", while men are conditioned to be aggressive and build stuff. Men are not gifted with special math brains, they just grow up being more exposed to logic-based games and such. Also, competition over cooperation in science (and in most places) is bad for everyone. Work environments are dynamic, but they change according to the views of whomever is in charge. The system has evolved organically to favor men because men have always been in charge of these fields. Regarding your comment about men not being regarded with more respect, it is not true. Various studies have shown (some were posted here if I'm not mistaken) that men get more credibility than equally qualified women. You may not notice because you are a man and are blind to the microaggressions women in academia suffer in their everyday lives, but please stop denying our experiences, you're part of the problem.

I'm sorry, those are the worst. When my cramps are really bad I use a hot water bottle and it usually helps.

I did my undergrad and my masters in my hometown, so I lived with my parents most of that period. I suggest you treat the chores part as if you and your parents were roommates: don't slack off and don't make them have to ask you/remind you to do stuff. It wasn't clear from your post if you will be paying rent or helping with groceries, but if you're not paying rent, you should probably help with groceries. As for space issues, if I were you I'd spend as much time in the library/your desk at uni as possible. Treat grad school as a full time job and do your work there if you feel your parents won't respect your space. Also, if you're at school all the time they might realize you're actually working and not blowing them off.

I'm sorry this happened to you and you're still dealing with the effects of it. I have a friend in grad school that has really bad anxiety, and he got a weighted/gravity blanket to sleep better. He says it helps a lot. I'm in the process of making one for myself (because I didn't want to pay for one and because crafting is therapeutic for me in its own way), I've been having pretty bad insomnia lately and I'm hoping it will do the trick. Good luck!

The research process is messy, and it makes perfectionists lose their minds. It sounds like your project is very ambitious (which is a good thing), but it doesn't feel like it could be done within your timeframe the way you want it done. The main reason seems to be your topic: survivals of sexual violence are not always keen to share their story, let alone with someone they don't know that well. This brings on a bunch of issues you likely won't have time to fix in a year. Regarding the inquiry about you not studying your own community, I always think that is an unfair assumption. I come from an underdeveloped country and everyone automatically assumes I'll research my country or my region, but I know I can't be objective and honestly thinking about my country atm just makes me sad. It's good that you're culturally sensitive about bringing members of the community you want to study into your committee, and it's natural that they get a bit defensive about it, but I don't think this is your biggest impediment at this point. Is there a way to scale your project down?

That's a shitty situation, I'm sorry it's happening to you. In your position I'd sit tight and wait. You've already e-mailed them and, unless there's another address you can contact that you haven't before, I don't see much good coming out of resending your e-mail. Good luck.

Honestly, I'd try again next year. US$ 90,000 is a lot of debt to pay off, especially if you're taking private loans that probably won't wait for you to get a proper job before you have to start paying them off. And you have a clear lack of fit with option B. If you have a well paying job now and live in a place you like, I see no problem in postponing the MPA another year, working on your application, and trying again next cycle. Good luck!