AllieKat

So yesterday I visited one of my schools, felt like the biggest imposter in the world, maybe had a bit of a stroke, and then I SIGNED A CONTRACT?
I haven't even heard back from two of my schools (one I'm waitlisted at, another is an assumed rejection) but I FELL IN LOVE with the labs and the department and some potential advisers and the current grad students were all really cool (and sooooo intelligent, I'm kinda out of my league here). 
And because of the snow that's hitting the East right now I'm stuck here for another day (and the department generously paid for another night at the hotel) so I'm going to go buy some apparel and explore.
I.am.so.at.peace. 

If you live on the bus route or rail to school, it is pretty good. If you want to use it as your only mode of transportation, it is not so good, so it is good news that you have a car! I like using the rail for events like the Rodeo or to get downtown, but other than that, the only time I use it is for getting to lab. Uber/Lyft are also pretty good.
I lived outside of the 610 loop for my first two years, and I would avoid living that far out. It was a 45-minute bus ride each day, and now that they've changed the bus route, is a 45-minute ride + a 20-minute walk or 8-10 minutes waiting/riding the rail.
My friends and I have had the best luck renting privately owned condos in a little area called "Condoland." This is near the Dental School mostly down Cambridge Street and along Old Spanish Trail and the "nice side" of Holly Hall (going East from Cambridge). There are also nice apartments nearby, like Stella. Most of these are near the 60 bus route, which drops off throughout the Med Center and runs until 10:20-ish at night!

I haven't officially decided, but I've narrowed my list down to two, including Northwestern's biological sciences program! PM if you wanna chat 

vote responsibly

There's plenty of fun to be had in the colder months, it's just a different set of activities than in the summer. Comedy, music, theater, and drinking never stop, and depending on your interests you can find some pretty wonderful winter-specific activities. Some more popular winter activities include things like skating in the park, the Christkindle Market (which is fun even if you don't really do the Christmas thing), Zoo Lights, TBOX (if you're into the Wrigleyville scene), etc. Many museums have free or discount days in the winter and the regular city life - music, comedy, theater, bars, great restaurants, nerdy meetups, midnight showings, etc. - is still thriving. There aren't as many street festivals as you'll find in the summer, but it's a great city year-round if you can take a little bit of a chill. 
If you're going to Northwestern and living in the city, you'll probably end up somewhere in Rogers Park, Edgewater, or Uptown. These are really fun parts of the city that have been growing and changing a considerable amount in recent years. That also puts you close to both Northwestern and Loyola, so there will be other grad students around looking to hang out and burn off some stress. Come join us - you're going to love it!

I didn't work at the DGP but had a lot of chances to talk to faculty while I've been in Chicago. If you're interested in big picture things, I can suggest people like Marc Mendillo and Dai Horiuchi who are interested in the tumor microenvironment (i.e. interactions of tumor cells with surrounding stromal tissue, which would have some relevance to cancer immunology) as well as labs like the Platanias, Kiyokawa, and Wan lab who are interested in large scale cellular changes in tumorigenesis. 

Your first and most important priority is yourself. No one else is going to care about your future more than you will, and you have worked hard to give yourself this opportunity. You deserve it, and you should make the most of it. Other people will do the same for themselves. FWIW, PhD admissions are competitive enough that very good students end up getting rejected simply because there aren't enough spots for everyone, so it's not going to be impossible to find someone good to fill a spot in April (or later, for that matter). And in any event, this is not up to you; this happens every year and your POI will know how to deal with it. (And you can stay on good terms with this POI even if you don't attend that program; you'll see them at conferences, and who knows, maybe you'll get a postdoc there one day. It's totally normal for good students to have multiple offers, and they shouldn't be offended if you decide to take another offer.) Again, you've earned the right to do the best for your own future. As long as you're undecided, everything you do is fair. Once you've made a decision, that's when it's time to communicate it as quickly as possible. But take as long as you need first.

I'm deciding between two schools and I'm definitely leaning towards one of them, but I don't feel ready to make the decision. I really like both schools and advisors; each has different pros and cons. I know that I'll be missing opportunities wherever I don't end up going, just like with any decision. So, once you start making up your mind about which school to go to, how do you decide that you're ready to decide?

When supervisor is like: Let's do idea for paper 1 (redo some messy group experiments from my 1st year) and submit it, 2 (theoretical paper on my thesis), and 3 (random idea I had last week)  - you can be first author on all <3 I feel so accomplished today

@Bayesian1701 45 days?!?  I am still waiting to hear back from 4 schools... How am I supposed to start really making a decision with so many unknowns still?? This process has been SO much harder than I'd imagined. 

@pnc95 I'm in a very similar situation as you. Better program fit vs. better research fit.  @StemCellFan how do we make a decision based on mentors accurately? We can get some info from graduate students on visits and based on the 30 minute or so interaction we had with them on, but I don't feel like I could accurately make a strong judgement until I actually work with them. So when it comes to rotations, I think choosing a better mentor vs. better research fit makes sense. But when it comes down to an initial school choice, I'm in the same boat as pnc. Program fit vs. research fit, and not sure what to weigh as more important
Applied: 9
Interviews: 5/9 WashU DBBS, UGeorgia ILS, UCSF TETRAD, UW-Madison Genetics, Iowa Genetics
Accepted: 6/9 UToronto, UW-Madison, WashU, U of Iowa, Georgia, UCSF
Rejections: 3/9
Attending: Washington University in St. Louis DBBS

There is definitely less motivation to go outside, but the city itself is comparatively active in the winter. I see people running along the lake all year long, even with strollers and wind guards/fleece shields covering the babies. People still go out to parties, clubs, public transit it solid (even from Evanston down to the city). Winter doesn’t stop people, but you are more likely to choose destinations specifically and less likely to go on a pub crawl. It really is up to you. The city is still there in the winter with all it has to offer (it’s just inside instead of on the patio or in the park, etc).

Don't forget that stipends aren't taxed Social Security/Medicare. Some programs tax federal/state beforehand; others rely on you to deal with paying taxes during tax season. Some cities may have 'city' taxes that you may be required to pay.

Hey guys,

I've been living in Houston for quite a while and did my undergrad at U of H (yay!). I however, did not live near or in campus because I have family in Houston anyway. Honestly right around UH and TSU (they are within miles of each other) apts are not very great (safety) but if you spread out maybe 5-10 miles or so its much better I think. I would look at apartmentratings.com for apts in the 77054 or 77030 zipcode and read reviews. Students tend to live in those zipcodes since the Texas Medical Center and other schools (UT, Rice, etc) are all in the same area. What I think tends to happen is out-of-state/city students usually come in live near campus because they know nowhere else but then after a few months, once familiar with the city, they move farther out to safer places.

Public transportation is not really good in Houston but there are buses that go to the UH area. Also some apts will have shuttle services that drop off and pick up students for like $1 a ride. But at some point you will need a car especially if you want to take advantage of the city and go beyond the campus.

But cost of living is cheap and the city is very diverse .

Honestly, from what you've written, it sounds like you'll survive at JHU and thrive at UCD. So, I guess it's a question of what you want. Personally, I like to put myself in situations where I'm pretty sure I'll thrive.

Well, the OP logged on asking for advice on which campuses might be more accommodating--not to be "concern-trolled" on how to lose weight. I'm sure that she knows where to find advice for weight loss. The internet is pretty big. And I've never met a fat person who was completely surprised by a) the fact that they were fat, or b. the fact that being fat isn't healthy. The world pretty much makes sure that they know this.

Or you could uh... you know, try to lose weight? I don't know your situation at all and don't mean to be judgmental... but if you have to rest after every 20-30 paces you are definitely not getting the exercise you need and should be more concerned about becoming healthier than finding a campus that have seats with no armrests.
 
Edit: oh and to answer your original question...stay away from Colorado I guess. Lots of active health nuts here.

I would double-check on this. Talk to current students. Talk to faculty. Look at the department's average time to degree. Just because it is theoretically possible doesn't mean it's realistic. And just because it's realistic doesn't mean you should do it. (Of course, your answer to Q7 raises the question of why you're doing the PhD at all if you're willing to get a job as a cashier to support your partner in their postdoc...)
If it's possible to rent a room at a reasonable rate, why would you commit to commuting for six hours a day? That just seems like unnecessary stress. Also, you'll want to make sure that your class/TA/RA schedule is compatible with whatever buses you would need to take. (For reference, in my PhD program, the courses grad students taught or were the TA for happened during the daytime hours [9am-3pm generally] and graduate seminars started at 4 or 5pm, lasting 2.5 hours.)
Have you tried reading or sleeping on the bus before? Is it something that you know you can do? Figure this out before committing to doing it for a few years.
Leaving everything I've said above aside, your professionalization as a graduate student will suffer if you're rushing to and from campus and spending most of your time on a bus. There's a lot to be gained from conversing with your colleagues informally in the halls, being able to bounce ideas off of them, and being able to attend talks on campus. For example, if your department had a symposium or colloquium on a Friday and you didn't have class that day, would you be willing to make the commute for the symposium? Because the expectation is that you'll be there and if you aren't, you're the one whose career will suffer.
Your answer to Q7 suggests you aren't that concerned with the long-term aspects of your career so maybe that doesn't matter to you. So I guess a real question for you to think about is whether you need to do a PhD now or if it would make more sense to wait until you move for your partner's postdoc. And, you didn't address this here (and don't need to!), but if you aren't planning to pursue a career where you need your PhD, then it may not make sense to get a PhD right now...

Bluntly, I think your answer to Question 7 seems to raise some red flags and render the whole topic moot.
A three-hour each way commute is not doable more than once a week or so. That's six hours, lets count it up. And I want to double check you're looking at door-to-door time, not general travel time between the two cities. And you're in NY, right? We're not talking a predictable commute between some cornfields here. There will be days - many days - when it will be worse, when the subway isn't running, when a car is stuck, when a road is blocked. Anyway, that's all pointless - even an exactly six hour commute is not healthy, physically or mentally, not safe if you're driving, and generally not doable with any kind of job - much less a PhD.
The prospects of you finishing exactly on time, exactly as your partner is ready for the postdoc - considerations of which apparently you don't figure into in the slightest - seem pretty slim, much less finishing well, with your six hour commute. And even if you do, what next? Follow your partner to Europe, where you'll need to find yet another position that revolves around them, probably another six hour commute away? (And what about if you don't? Will you leave it with a year or a semester to go?) Are you willing to keep doing this for the foreseeable future? I know a number of dual-academic couples with crazy commutes and complicated international decisions making issues, and it works - barely - because both partners are willing to do what's necessary to make it work for eachother, not expect to be revolved around like a soul-sucking black hole.
Frankly, if you're putting his career so far ahead of yours anyway, a PhD seems like a terrible choice - finish your masters, get a great job, make loads of money and significant career progress and dump their broke, immature grad student ass and build yourself up as someone with a more flexible and transferrable skillset and professional experience that doesn't reduce your to cleaning houses (a fine job. My mother did it) or cashiering (another, I did. But neither are a smart long-term career choice with a master's degree) as you follow your partner around. If you're really passionate about research and your field, and a PhD is just what you want to be doing, then balancing it with a six hour commute seems to leave you with nothing either way.

There are so many things going on here. I'm going to try to separate them though.
1) Is finishing in 4 years realistic? Would doing so position you well for post-PhD career options or would you realistically need more time?
2) Is your research something that doesn't depend on outside factors (e.g., getting external funding to collect data)? 
3) With a three hour commute each way, will you realistically be able to graduate in 4 years? Is there sufficient scheduling of courses so that you wouldn't have to commute to campus every day?
4) Would it be possible for you to sublet a room or get a hotel room a few nights a week so that you aren't spending 6 hours commuting?
5) Would that commute be you driving or would you be able to take public transportation?
6) Would your partner be willing to move so that you have a somewhat shorter commute/
7) How important is this relationship to you? Are you truly willing to let your partner's desires (live together, stay in this city, move to Europe when they're done) determine what happens with you, your education, and your career?

STATUS UPDATE Got accepted by OSU! Finally! And I still have 8 schools left! Hope all the other applicants hear great news soon!

how do you make a decision?
am overwhelmed

Why wouldn't you want one?

One super alternative to owning a dog that will make you money: walking/dogsitting on Rover or another app. You're not responsible for a dog 100% of the time, plus you get paid! I've found that some cities are easier to find dogsitting gigs, however (i.e. bigger cities with young professionals are more likely to have dog-owners using an app to find sitters).
 
(Edit: I've been creeping on this thread for a while, because you guys have some great ideas on getting through grad school! Please pardon the biologist intruding )

One super alternative to owning a dog that will make you money: walking/dogsitting on Rover or another app. You're not responsible for a dog 100% of the time, plus you get paid! I've found that some cities are easier to find dogsitting gigs, however (i.e. bigger cities with young professionals are more likely to have dog-owners using an app to find sitters).
 
(Edit: I've been creeping on this thread for a while, because you guys have some great ideas on getting through grad school! Please pardon the biologist intruding )