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@ray92 I think there are a lot of silent waitlists going on. I just emailed a POI at GATech, and heard back that I'm on a short waitlist. Of course, that's unofficial, but it could be what's happening to a lot of people. Until I emailed, it had been radio silence from the program.
I like to think of admissions as an optimization problem. Due to the explosion of applicants to CS programs, it is a non-trivial problem to optimize admissions results, such that schools get the top applicants they are capable of attracting. As the competition grows, students rightfully fear rejection, thus apply to more schools. The stronger applicants are likely accepted to many programs, essentially holding those spots hostage as they decide. Many wait until campus visit day before accepting an offer, which is often a month or more after initial acceptances are sent out. This is exacerbated by large numbers of applicants, e.g. just got back from UMass Amherst where they stated they received 2500 applicants for grad school this year.
Considering these are CS schools we are talking about, hopefully they can figure out a better algorithm for acceptance/rejection that is more optimal. That will realistically only happen if it effects the quality of applicants accepted to their programs.

You could compare their research rankings at csrankings.org as one indicator.

@ray92 I think there are a lot of silent waitlists going on. I just emailed a POI at GATech, and heard back that I'm on a short waitlist. Of course, that's unofficial, but it could be what's happening to a lot of people. Until I emailed, it had been radio silence from the program.
I like to think of admissions as an optimization problem. Due to the explosion of applicants to CS programs, it is a non-trivial problem to optimize admissions results, such that schools get the top applicants they are capable of attracting. As the competition grows, students rightfully fear rejection, thus apply to more schools. The stronger applicants are likely accepted to many programs, essentially holding those spots hostage as they decide. Many wait until campus visit day before accepting an offer, which is often a month or more after initial acceptances are sent out. This is exacerbated by large numbers of applicants, e.g. just got back from UMass Amherst where they stated they received 2500 applicants for grad school this year.
Considering these are CS schools we are talking about, hopefully they can figure out a better algorithm for acceptance/rejection that is more optimal. That will realistically only happen if it effects the quality of applicants accepted to their programs.

Thanks! No, my prior work was not heavily related to ML. I demonstrated my interests through research and familiarity with the field. To be honest though, I cannot say what aspects of my application were deciding factors. At interview time, I think it really came down to research fit with my POI as I was one of 10 interviewed, for two open slots.
I will say, my application was not the strongest academically, which looks like something you may not have working against you.
Best of luck!

@am_i_too_old_fr_this Wow, you could be talking about me with a statement like that :-)
I was in a similar boat. I had been in industry for 10 years and worked as both an engineering lead and an engineering manager. I also realized that being a manager was not for me. I desired the intellectual stimulation of solving challenging problems. One main difference is that I do not have kids, only an extremely understanding and supportive wife.
So here's what I did. I actually quit work for self-study and to dedicate time for working on machine learning projects. I did a number of projects and actually landed an interview at a top machine learning research company in SF. Unfortunately, I did not get the position, which made me realize that maybe I should get a PhD so I can have a stronger machine learning foundation.
I then found a professor online (deeplearning.net) who was looking for researchers to collaborate with. I've conducted research with this professor by email since the summer. This provided me both a research paper that I was able to put on arXiv (with plans to publish in a top conference), and a LoR from a professor that was intimately familiar with my abilities.
While I had contacts at top companies in SF, both a VP of Engineering and CEO of a well known public company, willing to write me a LoR, I did not feel those were appropriate for trying to get into academia, as they would have only known me as an engineering manager. My understanding is admissions committees value people who can speak to your aptitude for research. Rather, I spoke to a professor I've kept in contact with over the years since my MS and asked him to write one of my LoR. I also, received one from a former colleague who had worked her way up to a VP at a different company, but was intimately familiar with my ability to research challenging problems.
In terms of where to aim, well you can see all the places I've applied in my signature line. I applied to 15 of the top programs and I've received admission to one (which I'm very please with), I've been denied by nearly half, and I am still awaiting a response from the other half (though at this point they are likely rejections). The university I was accepted to, the POI I interviewed with specifically called out that I was a non-conventional applicant. It could be that this worked against me some other universities, but this professor was willing to take a shot since we aligned very well in research goals. That is, I have a very specific set of research goals in mind, and I've been interested in that area of research for a long time, which was clear in my application.
Here's how I decided where to apply. I looked at ALL the programs that were ranked in the US on csrankings.org, and evaluated each professor to see who I would be interested in working with. I kept a spreadsheet and ranked all the professors of interest on a scale of 1-4. Interestingly, just by looking at the research and publications coming out of the universities, my interests most closely aligned with the top programs... go figure. I have a suspicion that those programs have enough money, that they have the most freedom to pick research ideas without worrying about funding.
I know this post is a bit scattered, but I hope it helps you in some way. If you have any specific questions I didn't answer I'd be happy to fill in the gaps. Best of luck!

@am_i_too_old_fr_this Wow, you could be talking about me with a statement like that :-)
I was in a similar boat. I had been in industry for 10 years and worked as both an engineering lead and an engineering manager. I also realized that being a manager was not for me. I desired the intellectual stimulation of solving challenging problems. One main difference is that I do not have kids, only an extremely understanding and supportive wife.
So here's what I did. I actually quit work for self-study and to dedicate time for working on machine learning projects. I did a number of projects and actually landed an interview at a top machine learning research company in SF. Unfortunately, I did not get the position, which made me realize that maybe I should get a PhD so I can have a stronger machine learning foundation.
I then found a professor online (deeplearning.net) who was looking for researchers to collaborate with. I've conducted research with this professor by email since the summer. This provided me both a research paper that I was able to put on arXiv (with plans to publish in a top conference), and a LoR from a professor that was intimately familiar with my abilities.
While I had contacts at top companies in SF, both a VP of Engineering and CEO of a well known public company, willing to write me a LoR, I did not feel those were appropriate for trying to get into academia, as they would have only known me as an engineering manager. My understanding is admissions committees value people who can speak to your aptitude for research. Rather, I spoke to a professor I've kept in contact with over the years since my MS and asked him to write one of my LoR. I also, received one from a former colleague who had worked her way up to a VP at a different company, but was intimately familiar with my ability to research challenging problems.
In terms of where to aim, well you can see all the places I've applied in my signature line. I applied to 15 of the top programs and I've received admission to one (which I'm very please with), I've been denied by nearly half, and I am still awaiting a response from the other half (though at this point they are likely rejections). The university I was accepted to, the POI I interviewed with specifically called out that I was a non-conventional applicant. It could be that this worked against me some other universities, but this professor was willing to take a shot since we aligned very well in research goals. That is, I have a very specific set of research goals in mind, and I've been interested in that area of research for a long time, which was clear in my application.
Here's how I decided where to apply. I looked at ALL the programs that were ranked in the US on csrankings.org, and evaluated each professor to see who I would be interested in working with. I kept a spreadsheet and ranked all the professors of interest on a scale of 1-4. Interestingly, just by looking at the research and publications coming out of the universities, my interests most closely aligned with the top programs... go figure. I have a suspicion that those programs have enough money, that they have the most freedom to pick research ideas without worrying about funding.
I know this post is a bit scattered, but I hope it helps you in some way. If you have any specific questions I didn't answer I'd be happy to fill in the gaps. Best of luck!

It really depends on what you mean by "safe". The safest schools are likely the ones with the highest acceptance rates, which typically are not very competitive schools. The best way to pick schools, is to research them yourself. I quite literally looked at ALL the US schools on csrankings.org, which is a merit based ranking of universities by publications in top conferences. You can then select your areas of interest, and look at the various schools and their rankings.
Obviously, the higher the school's ranking the more competitive the program, the harder it will be to get in. So you can go through the list a bit, and sample what the admissions requirements are for various universities. For example, Auburn which is ranked last on that list for US schools, simply wants a 3.0 GPA and > 300 combined GRE. Seems pretty safe given your profile, but it may not be ambitious enough. Looking near the middle of the list, University of Florida states the average for accepted students is 3.3 GPA and 317 combined GRE (153V/164Q).
I guess my take-away is, we cannot tell you what sort of school is a safe school you would be happy with. Rather research it given the above tools and you can make an informed decision. Best of luck!

I think it all comes down to fit. Go to the visit weekends and see who you get a better vibe from. Also, if the UW professors have only recently gotten a tenure track job they may have more time to dedicate to a new student than someone who has a large lab and is well established.

Wow, that is truly abhorrent behavior, but sadly I have seen this pattern before. A friend went through something very similar with an abusive advisor. Interestingly the advisor had singled her out for this treatment, as other advisees were not treated in this way. She actually went to the department head and discussed the situation. In the short term that made her life a living hell as her advisor retaliated. In time though, as the advisor’s behavior became more objectionable, the department became quite concerned. In the end that professor was asked to leave the school. The department worked with my friend to salvage her dissertation such that she could graduate.
Considering the sympathy you received from the department head regarding your comprehensive exams, it seems they are likely to take your claims seriously. I would speak about the experiences you mentioned having and your concerns. Specifically ask what the department can do to help mitigate the fears you brought up regarding sabotage (this may involve having a trusted professor or even the department head on your dissertation committee).
As I mentioned, the professor may retaliate and that can make it very difficult in the short term. Make sure you have a strong support network. In fact it may help to set an appointment with your school’s Student Counseling and Psychological Services. Talking with someone can help ease the pain.
Of course it is always possible that none of these measures will effectively insulate you. Just look at the massive scandals of the past and present (Larry Nasser at MSU & Jerry Sandusky at Penn State). People in positions of power knew and the individual was able to continue their vile behavior. I sincerely hope that will not be the case for you, but it’s best to go into this understanding that even people in leadership positions are susceptible to clouded judgment.
As I said I am sorry to hear about your experiences and I wish you the best of luck!

Congrats! That's amazing. Good for you.

I'm also in the 35 yr old bucket and planning on a PhD.
I've always had an interest in my particular field, but I tried to pursue it a different way in industry. Rather it feels like I just veered off track. Sometimes life happens and you loose track of the goals and desires that led you to your current juncture. I realized that I was no longer pursuing my interests and took a hard look around to realize I needed to go for a PhD.
I also don't relish the thought of being a broke grad student, especially since my wife and I are hoping to start a family. Comparing my job prospects to that of grad school, it's pretty clear I'm giving up a tremendous amount of money (at least in the short term), since I am likely to be making less than 1/4 the amount that I would otherwise make in industry... Of course, I've never really cared about the money and have focused more on having a fulfilling job. Though I know how lucky I am to have such a luxury.

I got my first admit into a PhD program. I really enjoyed speaking with the POI as well, so I'm sure I'd be happy ending up there. Such a relief!
Any other UMass Amherst people?

I got my first admit into a PhD program. I really enjoyed speaking with the POI as well, so I'm sure I'd be happy ending up there. Such a relief!
Any other UMass Amherst people?

I got my first admit into a PhD program. I really enjoyed speaking with the POI as well, so I'm sure I'd be happy ending up there. Such a relief!
Any other UMass Amherst people?

I got my first admit into a PhD program. I really enjoyed speaking with the POI as well, so I'm sure I'd be happy ending up there. Such a relief!
Any other UMass Amherst people?

Heard back from a POI at UMass Amherst. I'm on cloud nine!

I applied to a number of programs last year using ApplyWeb. Here's a screenshot of what one of my program's listing looked like after a decision was posted with the "View Your Decision Letter" button now visible.

Congrats!
 

Just got my official rejection from UT Austin.

What you have already mentioned is unfathomably bad coming from someone in a position of power over your career. If there are worse things you haven't mentioned, I would implore you to seek help, especially if you state these are likely reportable offenses. It is really beginning to sound like you may be an abuse victim. I urge you to seek professional help.

I have a friend who just completed her Clinical Psychology PhD in her fifties, so it’s never too late.

Heard back from a POI at UMass Amherst. I'm on cloud nine!

I'm also in the 35 yr old bucket and planning on a PhD.
I've always had an interest in my particular field, but I tried to pursue it a different way in industry. Rather it feels like I just veered off track. Sometimes life happens and you loose track of the goals and desires that led you to your current juncture. I realized that I was no longer pursuing my interests and took a hard look around to realize I needed to go for a PhD.
I also don't relish the thought of being a broke grad student, especially since my wife and I are hoping to start a family. Comparing my job prospects to that of grad school, it's pretty clear I'm giving up a tremendous amount of money (at least in the short term), since I am likely to be making less than 1/4 the amount that I would otherwise make in industry... Of course, I've never really cared about the money and have focused more on having a fulfilling job. Though I know how lucky I am to have such a luxury.

That’s great news! Congrats!

I just got my first interview request! I think now I am no longer worried about my prospects. I just had no clue if my application would be given much weight since my field is so oversaturated. A huge weight has been lifted. I really hope everyone gets that same feeling, because it definitely made me feel dramatically better. Good luck all!