jadeisokay

i feel really torn about my school because our department has really great instructors and thesis or independent study options, but it's very clear after spending any time on campus that sports and stem are the #1 priorities. our english program is super unstructured and feels like sort of an afterthought. my profs were extremely helpful throughout the application process, luckily, but overall it's been rather frustrating.

oh god i try so hard to repress thoughts of loans that i totally didn't think about them. that, too.

i'm straight from undergrad. funding was the big issue for me, as was moving somewhere for such a small amount of time and most likely moving after that (and the combination of money + time). age too, honestly. i know i'm not that old, but i've felt it for quite some time in class.

yep! i need to take a look at that tonight

yep! i was half-awake when i read it so it took a full minute to realize it was just a generic mass email.

it seems like for my schools it's anywhere from mid feb to mid march. i'm going to be in philadelphia the first week of march with my mom for our birthday vacation and told her already we are not discussing anything related to school for five days. penn seems to be anywhere in mid/late february to march.

re-reading thomas mann's "doctor faustus" for fun, and got "genre and the (post-)communist woman" for incredibly cheap on amazon. super excited to read that.

oh yeah, the difference between undergrad and grad admissions is also a frequent exhausting topic of discussion. while i deeply appreciate my mom's insistence that i am fabulous and can absolutely get accepted to my dream school because i'm amazing, i still want to hand her a print out outlining acceptance rates and job prospects. (god, if she finds this... i'm sorry mom, you're still the best.)

heaven forbid i wanted to study something i enjoy!

my best friend/roommate is almost finished with a counseling degree but otherwise, none of my friends are either, @Bopie5 . within my extended family just graduating college is a big deal so i feel like a total anomaly. i went blue in the face explaining how funding and dissertations and everything work at the last gathering i went to this year. and of course i was still asked after what exactly i was thinking majoring in english. sigh.

my dream program is penn comp lit, then chicago cinema then northwestern. we may be forming a chicago meetup group in the future if certain dice are rolled, it seems right now! i have a long-shot video interview for a backup plan tomorrow (flight attendant) and i'm in the haze that is potential federal govt hiring also, but backup is still looking to be "fuck it and move." i work in hospitality right now and absolutely abhor it for the most part, other than the fact i wrote most of my major coursework sitting at the front desk on 11 pm-7am shift, but i guess i could lateral. i just really have no passion outside lit/film and wanting to teach.

i haven't had doubts but more am just afraid that i left some bizarre, glaring error in an sop or uploaded what looks like the right filename but it's really the script to bee movie in its entirety or something... had both those nightmares this week.

i realized after sending my scores that northwestern comp lit doesn't require gre. sigh.

you sound like an amazing mom! your daughter and i have same gre stats/background (she has more accomplishments, though, and a hearty kudos to her!) i have adhd so i'm already not the best test-taker, but sitting in a freezing room with mouses and keyboards clicking/people coughing/people watching me behind glass was fresh hell. but i'm telling myself that the rest of my app is okay and the scores don't show anything than how well i took a test in that moment. good luck to you both!

my plan is still to move the minute i get off stage and out of cap/robe. i've struck out on a few back-up job interviews because i think even though i'm obviously not mentioning that grad school is my #1-or-bust plan, i have no poker face and feigning excitement for a position that is "well i guess if nothing else this'll do" in my mind is quite difficult.

hey @dilby! i applied to chicago cinema studies as well. your research areas sound super interesting. best of luck! chicago is #2 on my list behind penn (for comp lit).

I'm applying to comp lit and a film studies program. mostly wanting to do stuff with soviet modernism, filmmaking before and after the thaw, and notions of collective memory and war trauma.

i'm waiting on one LOR writer still ?

apps are sent. I'm going on a goddamn vacation this week and might even read a magazine on the plane.

oh my god, all i have read/watched these past few months is sop-related stuff (when i'm not doing homework.) my brain feels mushy.

i wish i had applied to more schools but it just was not an option.

@Matthew3957 thanks! taping was SO fun. my episode airs February 5th in case anyone wants to see me be awkward on national television. i submitted one more and am seeing my LORs come in. feeling now like I could have improved SOP more but i just... no.

i sent Penn and gotta get on nyu. good luck!

it'll air in early march! for sure, haha. i feel like an outlier already being someone with a tattoo of beavis on my wrist.

spent both legs of a cross-country plane ride perfecting sop for my dream school (i managed to get about ten people to look at it over the last few days) and fuck it, i sent it in. i'm on vacation (well, i'm here to tape an episode of jeopardy) and sitting in the lobby writing a paper for a class which i'm not jazzed about. now just the four other sops to polish and send in after i get home. this process has spiritually broken me, really. i'm so done.