Bopie5

YES this is so good for you! Happy birthday!!! You deserve all the best and my fingers are crossed for you!

As someone who spiraled into stress thinking that I had said something on here that invalidated my app, thank you for this post, and for being here! The clarification and candor are deeply appreciated.

Just got my Michigan rejection. Guess all the eggs are in the UCSB basket. And since I didn’t hear yesterday...not looking great.

Welp, the fact that Michigan and UCSB are having movement today is a vomit inducing bit of news to wake up to! Kind of my last shots. Fingers crossed but steeling for the worst.

Trying to determine whether I should consider UC Davis a rejection at this point. Wanna steel myself against the pain of rejection, but also don't want to be unnecessarily pessimistic. What a balance haha.

Also rejected from Chicago, also referred to the MAPH, which like...nah. The email was nicely flattering though I guess.

@jadeisokay That's true. When I got rejected from Stanford, one of my best pals said "I wanna throw you a party for even applying with the crazy semester you had. Someone at Stanford read an essay you wrote!" and that was encouraging. Same to you--you toughed it out through a really not ideal amount of stress and obligations last semester. Fingers crossed for you as well. We may be down but we're not out yet ☺️ Your research is compelling, specific, and significant, and I'm sure you'll end up somewhere great! This post sparks joy! Thank you ☺️I think I need to reframe how I'm thinking about this. Just surviving the last six months was an accomplishment. None of this is discouraging--in fact, it's very encouraging, both about this cycle and about what the next might be like. I was thinking that even without having submitted my papers to journals yet, if I were to apply again, my CV next year will have the added elements of 3 poetry publications, 2 conferences, 1 guest lecture, and a TA position; my SoP will be clearer and more specific, with a more meaningful sense of the topography of my plan of study. Hoping for good things for you this cycle--I'd be shocked if you didn't get into a great program.

Thank you so much! That all is really encouraging to hear. I definitely agree about the development of my CV, I'm working on getting my first academic publication--we'll see if it turns out. Fingers crossed. I applied to grad school while working 2 jobs, taking a full courseload, having a student leadership position, having a second lead role in a play, and researching an independent senior honors thesis. I can't imagine how nice it would be to have a few months away from scholarship, and to not have school and other obligations pressing on me. Thanks for the encouragement--it's easy to feel like there's nothing other than the apps and decisions, and this makes me remember I have a life and value and a personhood outside of this.

So true! And also I'm realizing/finding that it's hard to totally get a sense of your interests while still in undergrad, taking survey courses or courses outside of your area of interest just to expand your background. Pursuing a yearlong research thesis has already allowed me to discover more about why I'm interested in what I'm interested in, and has specified/narrowed the focus of some of my projects. Adcomms are a variable I have no control over; I can only improve myself. Ah, wow, thank you! I didn't even put any Canadian schools on my radar this year until it was too late--a prof I just met this year recommended both University of Toronto and York University Toronto, but it was too late for me to retool my app for some of the different variables/styles of Canadian apps. Thank you for the rec--gotta look into University of Toronto's department more!

Ah I hope the UCSB and Michigan people feel the same way. This was encouraging to read. I'm already planning/retooling for next year, and WUSTL and Illinois are two that I didn't apply to this year that are already on the list for next time. Holding out some (realistic/halfhearted) hope that it'll work out this year, but making peace with the fact that it might not, and if it doesn't work out this year, it just means I'll be a stronger applicant with more knowledge of programs and myself, more equipped to truly end up in the right place next year.

Welp, the CA workday is (almost) over and I haven't heard from Davis. This cycle's looking like a shutout.

Based on my research and previous conversations on here, it depends on the school and the department!

From their website for PhD admissions: "Last year we received 124 applications, made 26 offers, and ended up admitting 12 students for Fall 2018." Not sure if "offers" includes waitlist? Not sure if the fact that the admissions rate is about half of the offers--maybe people chose other places and/or got better funding packages elsewhere. Seems consistent that the cohort would become 7-9 a few years in like @Fedallah mentioned.

I check my emails and interfaces in class hahaha!

That's so true--I knew going in it would be lyrical and transcendent and evocative, as Jenkins always is! Totally agree with you about the ending. The personal feeling of the ending of the film felt, as you said, timely, and was a rare instance where a child actor was really effective and natural in his performance! I loved the colors and nonlinear nature of the film, and the score has been feeding my soul in the stressful time of waiting for decisions.

Welcome! I also love Baldwin. Have you seen If Beale Street Could Talk yet?? Don't get too down--you can always give it another shot next year. I feel the exact same about my writing sample and SOP though.

Oooohhhhh you put it in words! I bet this is why I'm feeling really insecure toward my friends recently.

@dilby @kendalldinniene @dangermouse Thank you for the encouragement, it means a lot! I know it's important to not get down, and that "not right now" doesn't mean "no forever," especially since I'm still doing my undergrad. But I also have that gut churning feeling of "If I couldn't get into Northwestern there's no way I can get in to x-y-or-z" you know? Gotta silence that negative self talk. @placeinspace Don't totally give up, unless you're sure that this is the time to move on!

Anyone else feel like because of the rejections they've already received, that they have little to no chance at getting in anywhere else they applied to?

Given the way this cycle is shaking out so far (although I'm trying not to be defeatist!), I'm starting to plan my gap year. I plan to move home for a year (free food + free rent), finally get certified as a yoga instructor in the summer, do some non-academic non-9to5 job like working as a server as a brunch place, start teaching yoga part time, and pour everything into revising my WS and SoPs and focusing my research nonstop from July to December, so I can be a stronger candidate when I try again. Hoping to travel internationally January-March of 2020.

Thissssss. I feel like I'd be telling them they wasted their time and belief in me. And then I'd find it really hard to ask again next year... !!! This is the energy we want going into decision month. The other big mood I'm going for is that I just cleared out my email so I have NO unread messages! Nothing sitting there, bugging me, waiting to be responded to. Feeling better already.

Ran into my advisor after some meetings on campus today. She asked me for an update and I told her today was a double whammy rejection, and she hugged me and said "They were wrong." Encouraged me that she thinks I'm likely to get in to at least one place, and that it only takes one acceptance. Also said that it took her two tries to get accepted, and she ended up fully funded at Berkeley. Maybe she's giving me false optimism, but it felt good to be believed in. I've been weirdly feeling sort of ashamed or like I'm a disappointment for having been rejected? I know the pools were small and selective, and I was aiming really high, but it's hard not to let the negative self-talk take over. It felt really nice to know that she doesn't think less of me or is disappointed in me for being rejected.

Northwestern is the first rejection that made me feel really sad and down. Hard for the first three notices to be rejections. but here is my dog!

@illcounsel @amphilanthus I got a "Scam likely" call this morning that woke me up at like 7am PST, and I know that it was a telemarketing call or some other scam, but some small part of my brain keeps saying ButWhatIfItWasNorthwestern...

Same here. Northwestern and Michigan were/are kind of the dream, and seeing the Northwestern ones on there this morning made the pit of my stomach drop out. But hey, we're in the same boat!