FunInPhonology

FYI for the record, I got declined for this fellowship a few days ago. I was told by my prospective mentor before I submitted that my proposal was very good. Got no feedback from reviewers.

Update: I won a Ford Fellowship!!!

????

One of my reviewers said "the proposed research is interesting and quite polished in contrast to the applicant". They absolutely tore me apart and didn't write a single positive thing. Many of their comments were just false, too, like saying that it's weird that I have not been published yet or given any presentations when I am currently in publication for two different papers, and I have given presentations?!? The other reviewers were mostly very encouraging and gave some valid criticism, which I really appreciate, but this one person was incredibly negative in a way that felt a lot more personal than constructive. Yikes....

E/E, E/E, E/E. Honorable Mention..

I got the award!!! Wow, was absolutely not expecting to get it, just check out my post history to see how f***** hard of a time I've had adjusting to grad school this year. I know it's like 50% luck, but I'm so freaking relieved to have one fucking thing from this whole year that I did right. 

Nothing like 'not recommended' to make you hate graduate student life and yourself. 

No matter what happens tonight, all of you are valuable members of the scientific community and your research is important in some way. This is a very competitive fellowship and not getting awarded in no way means you are not worthy! Positive vibes only for the rest of the night. 

Fugg fuhk fk fuuuuh ? haven’t had nightmares or dreams about the award.... just really thinking there’s like a “before nsf results” and “after NSF results” period happening in my life right now. 
 
Honestly, I’m also stressed out by the timeline you have to be on if you get awarded, you have to stick to one project and also report in periodically about it? Grad school already seems stressful enough. 
 
Can you change your topic? 
Tomorrow is gonna be so annoying

I've heard this is pretty common for people to do and not too difficult of a process.
EDIT: I looked for evidence to support my statement. See https://www.nsf.gov/pubs/2018/nsf18108/nsf18108.jsp#q5

I agree that funding ought not to be a deciding factor, but unfortunately many programs have funding limitations where external funding is expected.  I've even heard of programs that will, for instance, fund 5 people for two years and then only 3 of the cohort for the remaining years.  Some schools justify this by figuring an underfunded offer is better than no offer.  Funding can also greatly impact your PhD experience if it frees you from programs with overly burdensome TA requirements, or gives you more freedom to work on the projects you want with the facalty you want. And I'm sure there are PIs that treat NSF funded students unequally, in terms of time, attention, and opportunity. 
I've been very fortunate to have been accepted to a program fully funded by the department with extremely limited TA requirements, but as an undergraduate NSF applicant I obviously didn't know which program I'd end up in when I applied.  Personally, I'm stressing over it because every student in the lab i'm joining has won the NSF GRFP for 15+ years, and it would be great to have it in the bag before I start.   Plus with a new baby on the way, it would be great to have the (extremely modest) boost in stipend.  However, it is hard not to feel guilty about competing against other students who *need* external funding to continue their program. 
I wish everyone the best of luck!

The fact this post has 76k views is giving me life right now 
 
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I'm questioning the entire financial support structure of PhD programs that has led to fellowships like NSF GRFP to become such an important factor in admission to PhD programs. The amount of work that PhD students contribute to a university's scientific research certainly deserves more than a minimum wage stipend. However in the current system, not only that minimum wage is not guaranteed, but they force the students to participate in extremely competitive and stressful contests called "fellowships" and bring their own minimum wage stipends with them. This just doesn't make any sense! Admissions should only be about scientific merit, as the $ value of PhD students' work is certainly worth much more than what they get.

Agreed. Teaching takes a day to be in class and at least one more day to grade. That either means you're less in lab to work, get less work done, need longer to graduate, etc. Or that you have no off time to release frustrations of weekly grad student existential crises

The fact this post has 76k views is giving me life right now 
 
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The fact this post has 76k views is giving me life right now 
 
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The fact this post has 76k views is giving me life right now 
 
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The fact this post has 76k views is giving me life right now 
 
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The fact this post has 76k views is giving me life right now 
 
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Ahh, the illustrious microcystins. That sounds amazing!

Made a quick graph looking at % accepted, stipend amount, and big changes over the last couple of years for the GRFP. Made a guess of ~13000 applications based off the last two years to make an estimate of acceptance for this year.

Website doesn't have a maintenance notice again....gargh. I just want to find out already.

Impressive data collection here 
wtf happened in 2009
 

Impressive data collection here 
wtf happened in 2009
 

Impressive data collection here 
wtf happened in 2009