caffeinated applicant

I feel like this is important though and good to know when being on here just ain't it for you and when it is. Someone in another chat said that it was important to know when being on here was helpful for you and when it just made you feel worse and I cannot agree more. February is a super stressful month and I think that even for people who have really solid cycles you can still get the nagging feeling of "why was what they're delivering better than my best effort" and there usually isn't a clear cut answer for that. Some things that were helpful for me to keep in mind was that: 
1. If they aren't in your subject area it's not as if them doing well affects you in any way whatsoever.
2. Even if they are in your subject area, chances are they aren't just "a better version of you" they're just out here doing their own thing and the admissions committee thought that they fit better with their program.
3. Plenty of current professors with tenure or on track to get it had to apply multiple times before getting in somewhere. 
4. This process is hard on everyone and the amount of people who just destroy their application season are pretty low and even for the people that do have an amazing season, they can only pick one place, and all the other slots will be up for grabs to those on the waitlist.

Two waitlists, no acceptances, and one of the schools has been completely non-responsive to my emails (one mid-Feb, one last week). I'm at the point in time where I need to start reaching out to faculty and grad students directly if I want to have those pre-decision conversations about program life. I had been hoping to be connected to people via the DGS or whomever, the way that if you are invited to campus, you are given a schedule of meetings with people who are--presumably--excited to speak with you and already plan to convey a significant amount of information to you in an organized way, but it doesn't appear that this is in the cards. 
I get that faculty have many important responsibilities, all the more so during the current coronavirus outbreak, but I'm feeling quite down today about waitlist-as-not-priority-student all the same. The calculus makes sense--you have limited time and thus devote it to the admitted students, that's fair--but my existing insecurities make this legwork to connect with people in the program all the more agonizing. 

being married to a prince helped

@caffeinated applicant @merry night wanderer Thank you so much for your responses. You’ve both given me a lot to think about and more factors to consider. As of right now, I’m still not sure what I’m going to do because this:
 
 
and this:
 
 
feel equally compelling to me, but I have to remind myself I still have over a month to decide. Thank you both for weighing in!

Two waitlists, no acceptances, and one of the schools has been completely non-responsive to my emails (one mid-Feb, one last week). I'm at the point in time where I need to start reaching out to faculty and grad students directly if I want to have those pre-decision conversations about program life. I had been hoping to be connected to people via the DGS or whomever, the way that if you are invited to campus, you are given a schedule of meetings with people who are--presumably--excited to speak with you and already plan to convey a significant amount of information to you in an organized way, but it doesn't appear that this is in the cards. 
I get that faculty have many important responsibilities, all the more so during the current coronavirus outbreak, but I'm feeling quite down today about waitlist-as-not-priority-student all the same. The calculus makes sense--you have limited time and thus devote it to the admitted students, that's fair--but my existing insecurities make this legwork to connect with people in the program all the more agonizing. 

I don't think attending this MFA program will impact your PhD chances in any tangible way. IME PhD programs don't really consider the prestige of one's MFA as a factor in making decisions. If you are going for a literature PhD (and not a creative writing PhD), they don't really care that much about any creative publications or your creative writing life in general. They view it as almost a completely different discipline.  
Having said that ...
If this is how you feel about this program, I don't think you should go there. And I'm coming from a place of experience here. I did a creative writing degree right out of undergrad, and it was seriously the worst experience of my life. The professors had zero interest in my writing (and I honestly didn't like theirs either), the workshop was a mean, hostile place (probably because I wasn't doing the type of writing everyone else was, but also because there was loads of misogyny* and women in general were looked at as incapable of writing Real LiteratureTM) ... and it just sucked. 
And to be honest, I was so traumatized by my experience that it took me years--I mean, goddamn years--for me to start writing creatively again. Now, I realize my story is an extreme example here, and that you probably won't have the same experience, and YMMV and all that. But I do think that having good writers/mentors to work with is EXTREMELY important when you're doing creative writing. I mean, it's really the whole enterprise in a nutshell. If you can't trust your adviser/mentor with this thing that comes from a very personal part of you, then you really can't get the guidance and support you need. If you don't think you can do that at this MFA program, then you absolutely should not go.
Go to this program, for the funding if nothing else. 2x the funding you'd get at the MFA program is nothing to sneeze at, and congratulations. Plus, a lower teaching load is SO important. I can't stress that enough.
More importantly, if you finish the MA and decide that you then want to do an MFA (instead of a PhD), you will still have that option, and you may, by that point, have a portfolio that gets you into a dream MFA program rather than your last choice. Better to hold off and get your MFA from, say, Michigan or UC-Irvine, than from hole-in-the-wall University of Dingdongs with an MFA program that's just a few years old.
 
*This English department (department--not the entire university) recently settled a massive Title IX lawsuit due to its pervasive culture of sexual harassment, and for its willful choice to do jackshit to stop it. It wasn't just me (yay, I guess?).

Accepted to Texas A&M's MA program in English and Toronto's MA program in Medieval Studies (rejected from their PhD program which I had initially applied to). Probably will be turning both of them down because of money constraints/an option I am really excited about but it was news that was nice to hear!

I’m......in at BU. What? What? I...HUH?

@merry night wanderer I read your first post as "non-traditional students shouldn't bother with Ivies" and my response was intending to counteract what I thought was a publicly defeatist attitude regarding the fact that non-traditional applicants certainly produce competitive applications and receive great offers too, and should definitely keep applying to institutions where they are underrepresented. Like, FOR SURE. 10/10. But I see now that you were really just trying to address the uncomfortable paradox of participating within a system which has been historically and institutionally discriminatory in a myriad of ways that generally don't work in favor of the "other," and certainly these demons manifest themselves saliently in the admissions process.

I am having the hardest time writing these emails! I accepted my offer from Yale this morning and have sent a single email to the Graduate Program Director at Michigan (have yet to email the DGS back because I am terrified--her email was so kind!), and must also email Cornell's DGS and GS Coordinator. I know that one of my LOR writers is good friends with the DGS and I'm also afraid that he will be disappointed that I did not consult with him before accepting the offer, as I said I would...I really just had to accept the offer! I'm just so certain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯   

Declined Brown! Hope this helps someone on the waitlist -- and in time to attend visit days too.

After a ridiculously wonderful visit at Yale, I've decided not to visit Michigan and Cornell and have officially accepted Yale's offer. SUCH PEACE!

I disagree with a lot of this, and not only because this was not the case for me; I was even told by my advisors and letter writers that my non-traditional background (I'm 31, attended 4 schools including 2 community colleges before receiving my BA, and have some 1.3's and 1.7's etc. on my earliest transcript from 2006) would actually make me more appealing as an applicant because my record shows persistence and continual growth. I met with literally all of my English professors for advice on my future applications as early as 3 years before I even applied. I was told by one of my letter writers, however, that I was possibly aiming too high and should apply to more schools outside of the top 10, but I had been researching faculty and current students at certain schools for so long and didn't have time to edit my application choices. Luckily, this cycle worked out very well for me! But I was certainly told by multiple professors/advisors that I would likely get multiple offers because of my non-traditional background, not despite it.
I graduated with English honors and a 3.8 GPA, a research internship w a NYT bestselling author, a double major that included 2 years of Latin, and one creative publication I ended up on a brief in-state book tour for, all while bartending full-time and working late nights...the obstacles my background and transcripts reveal put my accomplishments into perspective, and I certainly don't think that this hurt my application. 

Congrats on the MA acceptance! Definitely that should serve as another endorsement from a top-name school that you're going to do great things as a graduate student ?

Congrats on the MA acceptance! Definitely that should serve as another endorsement from a top-name school that you're going to do great things as a graduate student ?

Same!!

After weeks of sitting on what I thought was an implied rejection from NYU, I've just learned that though I wasn't accepted to the PhD, I have been accepted to the MA. Definitely won't take it (it's only partially funded), but it reduces my number of outright rejections, so that's a comfort to my ego if nothing else.

I have definitely heard of this being done and it's a topic of debate on these forums now and again. So: the most pragmatic answer is that yes, it's done, and if money is truly the factor preventing you accepting an offer that is otherwise your #1 choice, I would definitely broach the subject. Maybe not at visits, though you could—my instinct is just that visits should be all about getting to know faculty and your cohort etc and the DGS will be juggling a lot that weekend/day, compared to a conversation via phone or email after the fact when you've really got it narrowed down to, say, 2. 
I guess I'm of two minds on this generally (next couple paragraphs packed with wisdom I've gotten from mentors and friends of mine who are in currently programs/now in academia, so ignore my authoritative tone; it's inherited). On one hand, I think programs offering equal funding to grad students is often a key component to a good cohort dynamic and a good experience and several have told me to look out for it. Obvs I have no knowledge of this firsthand but I can see why it would be the case.
On the other hand, it is so important to be hard-nosed on visits (and in the period after when making decisions) and not be seduced by any romantic visions of graduate student life, like "oh, 5-6 years of funded writing and reading!" That anyone in the year of our Lord 2020 pretends decisions between programs are (often) not largely about money is a little crazy to me. Unless you are independently wealthy/have family support it should 100% be a primary consideration. Once you are there as a student, you are in a large sense a provider of labour for them, and you should think of it like accepting a job. Because it is one.
However, it's often not just about the stipend dollar amount. There are a lot of ways to complicate this consideration that may be helpful to you: 
1. How far does that money go in the area? Living in the Bay area on UC Berkeley money vs on Stanford money—VERY different things. My funding package from Harvard and Columbia are substantially higher than Chicago and Brown, but all things aren't created equal—it's about how far Brown money goes in Providence vs Columbia money in NYC. So when you say substantially more, how much more, and how are the areas comparable? Also: are there internal opportunities through the department or university in later years to increase that funding, e.g. teaching fellowships or competitive fellowships? These will be much more common at some universities than others.
2. Other factors: Is there summer funding? If so, what years is it available? How easy is it to get a 6th year of funding, if you're only guaranteed five? (Ask current students about this; they're the ones who'll know. I've heard for example from a couple current students that Yale tries pretty hard to get you out in 5, though you wouldn't know that from the department website.) How often are you paid? When is the first payment (if you're an international student who'll be incurring moving costs at the start)? Does it adjust yearly for inflation? What are the departmental funds like for conferences, and how does their travel fund work? What about university emergency funds (e.g. for unexpected emergency costs, accidents, deaths in the family, emergency dental)? While I don't think any one of these will be a tipping point when weighing financial packages, amounts in the hundreds or low thousand(s) can be a big deal when you're estimating your cost of living year to year, and can definitely flesh out a fuller picture of what you're looking at. 
3. Lastly it is almost never bad manners to discuss this, though you may get franker and more helpful answers on visits from current students, so they may be your first port of call before you take it to a DGS or faculty member. If it were me, I would not leverage offers against multiple universities in order to get them to make my decision for me (not saying this is what you're doing btw, but I think there's a world in which some decisions are so hard to make that you might push for an equalizing factor to make pulling the trigger easier). But if I'd narrowed it down to 2 or 3 and one option had a substantially less attractive financial package, there is really no harm in asking.

Just finished a breathtaking first visit to Yale. It will be ... hard to beat that, to be honest. Oof.

I'd say get your advice on this topic outside of Gradcafe. Talk to your recommenders, talk to grad students at the programs you're considering, talk to the placement officer (if applicable) at those programs, talk to faculty at those programs. GC is mainly the blind leading the blind--the vast majority of users have too little information to see the whole picture. This isn't at all to say that you shouldn't think about ranking, but that offline conversations will probably lead to much more fruitful information, particularly tailored to your subfield, your previous credentials, and your goals. 

They should definitely write back to close the loop. The email might have gotten lost--perhaps a good idea to send a quick-follow up like "Dear so and so, I was hoping to confirm receipt of my earlier email to ensure that you're aware that I have made the difficult decision not to attend X." 

WashU for me this Fall!

I asked my faculty mentor about this and this is what he said that I found super helpful,
"First of all, you’re not necessarily expected to do anything beyond inform them of your decision. I agree that it would be nice to email the DGS rather than just checking the box in the online portal, but it can be short and businesslike. You don’t have to detail any reasons or tell them which schools you’re still considering at this point. “I’m writing to inform you that I have decided not to attend the University of X next fall. I wanted to let you know of my decision as soon as possible, so that you would have the option of opening the spot in your entering class to someone else. Thank you very much for your offer of admission and for the generous assistantship package you were prepared to give me.” Something like that."
He went on to talk about how they might ask who you turned them down for but that's just something they do for their internal statistics and that emailing your POI is really optional but to treat it "almost like a breakup" if you do email them. Hope this helps!

As of last night, I have officially heard back from all of my schools! 3a/2w/11r/infinite exhaustion

thank you all SO much <33 i have been feeling better today even though it’s all scary!!