fuzzylogician

I can try and look it over for you, if it's not too late. Just PM me with the text (no attachments, please). And in case it is too late -- good luck!

Relevant things to expand upon are less to do with your past (=work situations) and more to do with the future (=why this school, which faculty you would work with, what other resources in the program you find appealing, etc., as well as detailed descriptions of your current interests and how they fit with the school). It's hard to tell you what (if anything) you should add to your SOP without seeing it. 540 words for a first draft for someone with not a lot of experience doesn't sound too bad to me.

I block out time in my calendar every week for time off, hobbies and other non-academic things. That way I know I'm not free for a meeting at that time and if I do need that time slot then I have to find time to "reschedule" my off-time. I also treat my sleeping hours as hard constraints that can't be ignored. I do occasionally go off schedule, but I try to keep that to things that are unexpectedly added to my schedule, not things that have to be removed. Honestly grad school can take up your whole life if you let it, so I treat the rest of my life not as something that happens after my work-related commitments are done but as something that needs to be actively taken care of and cultivated.

I've never heard of a school that has different assignments for native speakers and non-native speakers. If your program thinks you're good enough to TA, trust them and take the position. If you could wait a semester before you start TAing, I think you'll find that within a few weeks you fluency will improve dramatically, even if you had very little experience with English beforehand. Just make a decision not to be embarrassed about having an accent or making a mistake and your life will be a whole lot easier. I've taught in two languages that are not my native language. It's difficult but as long as your accent is understandable and you make an effort to be clear I think you'll find that your audience will be patient too. If you think some material will be especially difficult to teach, it may be useful to prepare handouts or slides so your class will have an easier time following what you are saying. Also, the teaching center at your school may provide tutorials and could give you advice specific to your situation; and there are also a number of threads with good advice here in the forum. Mostly teaching is just teaching, really, and I can't think of too many non-native speaker specific issues.

Given that it's only a week and given the many benefits that ploughing through it will bring, I am tempted to say - find a way to make it work. But then I wonder what he is doing exactly that is making feel uncomfortable and if there is a way to change your behavior in a way that will make his behavior affect you less.. Staying away is a good start but maybe you can also do things differently when you have to be in the same room with him? Like sit farther away, be very correct, not encourage him in any way? I'm trying to write this so that it's clear that I don't think this your fault in any way, just trying to work with what is given. If it's really only a week I understand why you would not want to cause any waves. But is it really only a week? Writing a paper is a process and it takes time. Can you do that without meeting with him at all? That is also something to consider.

I'm not sure why you think you need to cancel your trip -- as long as your visa and I20 are valid, all you need to be able to go on your trip is a signature on your I20. It's not difficult to obtain. The 'enter the US no later than' date is only relevant the first time you enter, not later on. The signature itself is valid for one year (6 months for Canada and Mexico) and getting it is standard operating procedure for all international students who go abroad - it's nothing to worry about and certainly not something to cancel a trip over. Go over to your ISO on Monday, verify with them what you need to do to stay in status and get than signature. Don't cancel your trip unless they tell you that you have to do that for some reason (they won't, there's no reason).

It's up to you but I don't think it's necessary to mention your military experience. If your proposed studies are directly related to your service then it's important to mention it. Otherwise you don't have to explain how your interests originally developed, just what they are now. In either case, your service shouldn't play a central role in your application. You may be able to use something like that, which is different and potentially eye catching, as a "hook" in the opening sentence of your SOP (although unless done right it can go horribly wrong and I generally recommend against using hooks) - other than that the SOP should be about your current interests and future research plans, not about your past.

POI: person of interest. You'll also occasionally see people referring to a PI, which would be 'principal investigator' - the person who heads a certain (funded) project, mostly in the lab sciences. Safety schools would be schools that are lower ranked or less prestigious, indeed.

If you enter on the VWP that means that you're entering on a B1/B2 tourist visa. You are not allowed to study, work or remain in the US for more than 3 months on this visa. You must enter on the F1 visa in order to be allowed to do those things. If you study on the tourist visa you're essentially breaking immigration law and risking your education. That's assuming they even let you back in, if you tell the immigration officer that you're entering the US to go to grad school on a tourist visa. Get your I-20 endorsed - it's just a signature, it shouldn't take you more than 3-4 days to obtain, even for the most disorganized ISO - don't enter the US on the wrong visa! ETA: "work" = as a TA or otherwise on campus as per the requirements of the F1 visa.

Seriously?? Please. If we're doing sarcasm and silly analogies for a moment, it's actually much more like "I'm a vegetarian." Meaning, I like a whole lot of things, but I don't eat meat. Or: "there are many jobs I'd consider doing after I graduate but going into academia and becoming a professor is not one of them." Got it now?

While I am reluctant to advise anyone to stay in an abusive situation any longer than absolutely necessary, I think it's important that you have a clear plan of action in case you choose to do that. Make arrangements to be away during the summers and start the process of becoming financially independent, as others have advised in this thread. Be sure you have the tools to leave whenever you feel that you need to, and plan to do that sooner rather than later. It sounds to me like you are doing well in school and you'll be alright, and I believe that the cost of freedom from abuse is greater than that of high grades so even if you would have to put your education on hold for a while until you get back on your feet, I think it's worth it. Grad school won't go away if you take another year or two to get there than you planned. On the other hand I can also see the benefits of apologizing and I respect your decision to do that, I just think it's important not to stay passive in the situation once you apologize - be active and prepare the ground for leaving.

Students with an MA have to take less classes than those without one. That must save some time, but how much exactly depends on the program. Someone there should be able to tell you what kind of time the MA saves, in general. I'd guess it's about 1-2 years, which means that it's still probably faster to go straight for the PhD without getting an MA, if possible (time-wise, at least). Candidates with an MA will generally be more attractive than ones without an MA for the reasons of knowledge and experience that you mention; the added focus that the MA contributes can help candidates produce a stronger SOP, LORs and writing sample, all of which are normally hard to come by just after undergrad. Since everyone is competing for the same spots, yes, it's more difficult to be admitted straight out of undergrad than after an MA, but I'm sure it's not impossible or the program wouldn't bother outlining the requirements for such students.

It's probably too late to ask for feedback on your previous application - I can hardly imagine that anybody will remember its details or will go back to find them. However, you can contact these schools to ask for general advice about reapplying. My department, for example, will tell you not to reapply unless something in your profile has changed significantly since last year. But of course, it's also possible that you were very qualified and high on the list and ended up not getting accepted for other reasons (often there are more good applicants than spots in a program). There are certainly people out there who were accepted to a program that previously rejected them (including in my program). You can also ask to meet with mentors at your current schools for advice - bring your previous application and your current one, maybe they can identify weaknesses in the old one and help improve the new one. Other than that, I have no experience with reapplying but I imagine I would not spend any time explaining deficiencies or discussing possible reasons why I was rejected, rather I would use all my space to highlight the positive aspects of my application, unless the school specifically wanted me to address my previous application.

I'm not sure why you think you need a LOR to go along with your paper. The paper should speak for itself. What's more, if you have two strong papers it seems to me that submitting the one that won't be described by the professor in her letter is the better choice - that way the adcom will know that you have at least two strong papers, not just one. But regardless, you should submit your best work.

What are you applying for? Is it an MA or a PhD? Research-heavy programs or more professional? Did your internship involve any research? How about the work you did for the other profs who mention? If it's a PhD program a LOR from someone who only has a Masters degree will count less, because that person will have less knowledge about what it takes to go through PhD training and certainly no first hand experience, so their opinion regarding your potential to succeed is less founded. Similarly, if none of these LORs can directly address your research skills, that's a problem for a research-based program. But given that you outlined three options and most schools require three LORs, I'm not sure I understand what the dilemma is, unless you have other options.

I just thought I'd throw this out there - I don't know if this holds in your case, but I can see how the behavior that you are describing as pushy and fascist can be viewed by your advisor as encouraging and supportive. Different students need different kinds of mentoring, but I certainly know some who need close supervision to get work done. I can also imagine how a professor might view telling a student that they should pursue a prestigious PhD program in a far away place as a compliment to their skills, not as trying to ruin their lives. Maybe it would help if you had an honest conversation with your advisor about your plans for the future?

That's very true. Let me help get this thread back on track: a lot of professors see grad students as colleagues in training. As such, they may expect them to live up to certain standards that one might expect from the workplace - one of which is that colleagues dress professionally. Also that they show up on time, do their work, etc. So I think it could legitimately bother a professor if a student consistently shows up in pajamas or sweatpants - not because of fashion rules, but because it's unprofessional and distracts from having a productive work environment. ETA: I didn't read the whole thread so I apologize if this has already been said.

Oh, sorry if it seemed like I was blaming you for downvoting, I didn't mean to imply that. I should have made it clear that only the first half of my post directly addresses your statement above. There's no way to know who is upvoting or downvoting anyone (that I know of) anyway. It's a shame that Just me is drawing this much negative attention, was the (general) point I was trying to make. It's just not doing anyone, including the TGC community as a whole, any good.

No, she's not a troll. She's just a very unhappy person, throwing the virtual world equivalent of a tantrum but not taking the adult way out of her predicament by taking the necessary steps to fix her problems. No need to downvote her posts unless they offer harmful advice, though. That just feeds her behavior. The post above is as negative as ever, but harmless, which is why I voted it back up. Not that I agree, but it doesn't deserve to be flagged either.

I'll be quick because I'm just back from playing basketball with friends and I'm on my way out for an evening of fun and drinks: grad school does not have to consume your life. Please stop generalizing from your experience to the grad school experience as a whole. Of course it sucks for you, because you never wanted to be there in the first place. But not everyone's experience is like that.

I completely agree. Just me, no one is calling you (or WornOutGrad) crazy. But you really should not be giving anyone advice. WornOutGrad, maybe grad school is not the place for you to be in right now. If it's making you so unhappy, clearly there's something wrong with it. Maybe it's just the specific program or advisor, or the way other things are stacked up in your life, or maybe it's school altogether. You don't need to figure it all out now - even if you stop attending your current program you can always go back to school later on, when things improve in your life, because grad school shouldn't have to mean giving up on everything and everyone else that you have. There are healthy ways to balance work and life. It's difficult, but possible, and there is no reason school should take over everything all of the time. It really doesn't have to be like that. I think a wise move at this point is to take a step back; take some time to think about the situation. Have a clear idea of what is bothering you, and then try to think of ways to fix the problem. Maybe a local change will be all that you need, maybe it's quitting school altogether. You'll figure it out. Just don't stay trapped and do nothing.

Insanity: repeating the same behavior and expecting different results? My experience in life has been that sometimes important but hard to digest advice needs to be repeated over and over again, sometimes over years even, before the addressee can internalize the advice and act upon it. I know Just me is being very negative and is drawing a lot of negative attention because of that, but I still hope that repeating the advice to seek help will eventually sink in, if we repeat it often enough. Because whatever you think of Just me's behavior and attitude on TGC, there's obviously something very wrong in her life, which I hope she can take steps to repair. If not, at least I know I tried my best.

Just me, please take the advice you've been given here many many times by now and seek professional help. Your grad school experience is anything but normal.

Yes. And No. It's normal for grad school to be stressful at times. And it can have a way of sucking the (rest of your) life out of you, if you let it. Some periods of stress are to be expected and there is not much you can do against them. But if it's a continuous thing that you don't anticipate will improve and is making you unhappy, you need to figure out a way to change something about your situation. If grad school is making you seriously unhappy all of the time, that is not normal. Often when you're really tired and things just look all around depressing, it helps to take some time off and do nothing, just to get some perspective on things (I like to watch whole seasons of America's Next Top Model or Project Runway on such occasions, but to each her own). But to address the more general problem, developing some time management skills along and learning to be assertive and say 'No' when you can't handle everything that is being asked of you is crucial. Also, I find it helps me to actively block out time in my schedule for "other" things - that is, non-grad-school fun, workouts, or just time off. You may need to evaluate everything that you are doing at the moment - maybe you need to step out of a project you're involved in? or slow down the progress of a project? or stop meeting with faculty who are drain your energy? or move office if its your officemates who are making your life more difficult? Maybe you should take a break from grad school altogether if you're just not enjoying the experience anymore. As others suggest, seeking someone's advice may be beneficial - it can be a trusted professor or friend or else someone outside your department. If you can identify the sources of your unhappiness and take active steps to correct them, that should lead to at least some improvement.

Is this a PhD or an MA program? How much debt will you go into? I would certainly advise against doing an unfunded PhD; I'm less familiar with the funding situation for MAs in the US but I'd probably advise against doing an unfunded MA too. Can you reapply to your dream program next year? Are they more likely to have funding then? It looks like they want you there, so I think it's completely fair to be very honest with them, tell them they are your dream program and you would *love* to accept the offer but you can't afford to take on that kind of debt. You'll apply again this year and if there is funding, you will definitely come. It's a risk but it could pay off, and in my opinion it's just not worth it to get into debt otherwise. Meanwhile if you can defer your other offer for one year and work full time this year, that's probably the best solution I can see.