35M40

On Monday, I got a letter from this university that said my chances of getting off the waitlist were about 75%. Today, I got an email that my chances are "pretty low" unless one person drops from the waitlist. So close yet so far away .. I'm determined to improve my app for next year though. For now I drink but next year I will CONQUER THE WORLD. Or at least GET INTO GRADUATE SCHOOL.

I remember when I dropped off my resume to one of my letter writers, he said "This is gonna be fun! It doesn't seem like it now, but it will be when you're deciding between offers!" The process started out kind of fun when it was full of opportunities and imagining myself in all these cool new places, learning interesting things and doing awesome work. Then I picked my list of places to apply and it got a little less fun because I was locked in, then I had some nerve wracking interviews and it got a little less fun, then I started getting rejected and it got less fun, then my funding fell through at my one acceptance and it got much less fun, then I realized I don't get to go unless I get off a wait list of doom and it got a lot less fun. And I cried and cried and cried. Right now I'm trying to cheer myself up by making a list of places I could apply next year and reliving all that "Oh look at all my opportunity!" joy while using all the things I learned this year to weed out places that aren't a great fit, no matter how badly I want them to be. Initially I was really devastated by my results, but now it's like "Well, the worst thing happened. You applied all over and you can't go anywhere. But you didn't drop dead of shame like you thought and no one is mad except you." I mean it blows. It really really blows. Sometimes it still hits me out of nowhere and I get really depressed. But I guess this sort of thing builds character. I think I'm going to value graduate school more when I get in and I am sure now that grad school is where I want to be. So no, I really didn't like the process at all, but I learned a lot and don't hate it enough to stop trying. But I do hate it quite a bit.

Oh snap. Thank you for that information! I guess I'm back to being nervous, haha.

Two people said they got acceptance calls from Zerubavel and one person got waitlisted, so I'm not all that optimistic at this point. I know they were aiming for a pretty small cohort but I think someone said it was smaller than they wanted this year because of funding. So I'm assuming I'm rejected, but I'm in that "Oh god it's late March and I'm totally screwed" mode so maybe I'm jumping to conclusions.

notre dame wait list you are my only hope now willing to convert sigh.

I felt like I let down my real parents and then my academic parents, so I didn't want to tell anyone. But I actually felt much better after I told my adviser. I was so focused on this process that I felt like I was just at the end and my career was dead before it started. He told me that it was a tough year and not to be too down on myself, but see what happens with my remaining schools and then we'll meet and figure out a game plan for the next year. So now I don't feel quite as devastated. Still really upset, but less crushed.

I'm so sorry! I've been really depressed about interviews too. I had one that went really well and I haven't heard anything since. The interviewer told me to plan for the Visit Day and to email one of his students to ask more questions about the program, so I did and then time passed ... people got admitted ... more time passed ... waitlist got notified .. time passed ... and still I hear nothing. Arghhhh. So I guess it's a rejection. I think that when you get down to a short list of interviewees, it must just be really tough because everyone is so talented and accomplished that maybe the decision comes down to tiny details. Personally, I think they pick names out of a hat at that point. Maybe you're waitlisted at one of the places that hasn't contacted you yet. I'm not sure. I hope something works out!

I talked with Zerubavel. He asked about my interests, the research from my writing sample, and if I had any questions. He also asked where else I was applying and if I had heard anything and I didn't know how to reply, so I just told him three places. Thought it'd be awkward to list all 9. I felt weird about that though. I have no clue how many people are on the short list, but he said they are aiming to admit 8 people and said there are 4 fellowships and RAships vary year to year. At first I thought he said they were only admitting 4 people and I got all freaked out, but later he said 8 so I'm hoping I misheard the first time and not the second. Last year someone wrote on the results page that there were 30 people on the short list, I think, but I don't know if it's the same this time around.

I think I'd wait to worry and see if you get a call next week. I believe the director said he was working on a short list, but the interview wasn't scheduled or formal so you might get a call out of the blue. I got a voicemail at almost 9:00 pm from him on Thursday and then just had a pretty casual chat the next day.

My mom was my dad's student :\ They've been married almost 30 years, you'd think I'd be over it by now ...

Go to Sparky's, the neon green local ice cream shop downtown with the ceramic bulldog in the front ... or maybe it got stolen again, I'm not sure, still go there. You can get normal flavors, then they have dairy free ice cream and weird stuff like red wine chocolate chunk sundaes and white russian shakes. Everyone likes Sparkys. There's also Buck's on campus for more fresh local ice cream. The frozen indulgent flavor is amazing. Both places are seasonal so get your fill while you can. Also go to Ragtag. It's a theater that shows less mainstream movies and has a bar, so you can watch a movie and eat kit kats with a pint. I always got a cup of coffee and a bag of popcorn and I think it was $2.25 for both. They merged a local bakery with it a year or two back, so that's kind of neat. Around March, there's a weekend film fest that takes over downtown called True/False. Things sell out fast, but they do what they can to make sure as many people get in as possible. It's fun to see all the different venues that don't usually show movies, like the Missouri Theater and the Tiger Hotel. It's more fun to go with a friend because sometimes you end up waiting in line for quite a bit. Apartments are kind of hit or miss so you really have to check them out. I'd personally avoid places up north by Columbia College. It's not that there's a lot of crime in Columbia, but there have been some break-ins there. If you do live there, lock your windows and doors and you'll probably be fine. A guy snuck in my friend's window and it was pretty bad for her roommates, but that's not too common. Around Stephens College seems to be okay. East campus is where all the undergrads go after they leave the dorms, so it can be pretty loud, though it's cheap and close to campus. Bearfield, south of campus, is the other place the undergrads go. My friends had a grill stolen and sometimes people just walk into houses, but it's usually people being dumb or drunk. Both are perfectly livable and I know quiet people who have been fine there, it's just generally noisier. I've only lived west of campus. It's a little less campus-y. Use caution with Hinshaw and Remi rental companies. I've heard people who had success with them, but heard a whole lot of bad things. I have a lot of things to say about Hinshaw ... I think he means well, but there were so many weird things about my apartment and contract that really wore on me after a year. bleh. anyway. Columbia is kind of uneventful but it's pleasant.

My dad is a professor and has a lot of opinions. Sometimes they are helpful and sometimes he's a little too old school for my interests. He's not super thrilled that I ended up in Sociology, but has accepted it these days ... mostly. I'm selective when I tell him about my interests and keep a running tab of things that are okay by him (Goffman, Simmel) and things that will cause a long-winded rant (Marx, Foucault). One time I emailed my mom an urban soc paper to see if she could follow the logic and she let my dad read it and I FREAKED OUT because I always tell her "Don't show dad don't show dad!". He was like "Oh daughter, it's a well written piece ... but it is all PROPAGANDA." I just told him thanks. And I did mean it. My mom is both financially and emotionally supportive. She is a bit of a cheerleader. She got her phd when she was raising me and so I think her thoughts weren't as wholly consumed by this process as I am, because she had so many other things going on to juggle. So I'm all neurotic and she's like "Just leave it to fate!" My parents are a pair of extremes but I do appreciate their support and input a lot.

I used to use anxiety meds and all sorts of coping methods during my early undergrad years, but there were a lot of ups and downs. These days, the only thing that's really worked consistently for me is daily exercise. Running outdoors distracts me from grad school because the freezing cold is such a shock to the system and I get a nice natural change of scenery. I guess it's not for everyone, but it works for me. I'm also trying to read more for fun now that I have more time and that's been pretty nice. Tea never hurts.

I had an application that asked me to list my top schools in order and said something like "Order will not affect your chances of admission, but will determine how many students we accept." It was strange. I put it as my first choice on the list because I didn't have much of a preference at the time.

Mine was just a phone interview, so I don't know how helpful I'd be. The prof explained the admission process a little bit and asked about my research interests, what I want to do with a phd, why I'm interested in particular subfields. I'd recommend preparing some questions so you show interest in the program, but I don't have much advice to offer about face to face interviews. Wish I could help you more but good luck to you!

I'm in Sociology. I've had one interview and one acceptance and didn't contact anyone. I thought about it, but didn't have any questions to ask so I was worried I'd sound unnatural if I tried to come up with something.

You might want to check out the applyingtograd LJ comm. There are a lot of examples of general questions that interviewers ask in the memories section, though not specific to Soc. I had an informal phone interview where the prof asked about my research interests, what I want to do after I get my degree, why I wanted to go into these particular fields. Then he asked if I had any questions, so you might want to think up one or two. Good luck!!

yeah it was definitely a bad decision. I had accepted it twice to get through the security process, so there wasn't any doubt that I would take it until I talked to my professor. I've just been really worried since then. Thanks so much for your help!!

I got an offer for an internship overseas from early February until the first week of April. One of my professors told me he thinks it's a bad idea to take it and that it will interfere with the application and acceptance procedures. I'm in Sociology, so I didn't think interviews were common and I thought I could visit schools the first two weeks of April if I needed. Graduate school is more important to me than the internship, but I don't want to turn them down if it's unnecessary. Also, I wrote the internship on my CV. Do I need to send the colleges an updated CV if I drop it? Thanks guys!