MoJingly

She doesn't need a PhD. She needs medication.

Yup!

So it seems "person of interest" is a safe bet. I was paranoid that, you know, EVERYONE knew except for me

WHAT does "POI" stand for? I just always say "PI," as in "principal investigator." I've googled. I've lurked. I'm out of ideas. Here are a few I have:

Primary Opium Introducer
Pithy Orangutan Instigator
Perching Orange Intimidator
Person Oppressing Imagination
Pathological Optimism Incinerator
Professor of Interest (<---- that's actually a legitimate guess)


Don't judge me. Maybe somebody else out there has this question too.

Thank the Lord for anonymous forums.

About 50% of people who begin a doctoral program do not finish one.  This is for a variety of reasons, which include - but aren't limited to - not feeling able to complete a thesis.  What the Ed.D thesis will entail will entirely depend on the program, but I think it's safe to say that your assessment of what's necessary is true (although I would say that 50 pages would be too short for a doctoral dissertation.  The shortest ones I've seen have been around 100 pages).
 
The whole point of a doctoral program is to give you the tools and knowledge necessary to complete that dissertation, since doctoral degrees usually prepare you for a research career in which you will have to do similar work.  If you find academic writing and research too daunting to surmount even with assistance for your learning disabilities, then Ed.D programs that emphasize research and scholarship might not be good fits for you.  If you are trying to take the EdD back into practice and work in the education field as a leader/practitioner, then an Ed.D program without a dissertation requirement might be ok.  But if you are looking to potentially go into a research career, I think any hiring committee would be quite skeptical of an Ed.D holder who did not complete a dissertation.  Besides, I have to say that the dissertation is not the only part of the doctoral degree that requires academic writing and research;r your classes and your comprehensive exams will also require those skills.  The doctoral degree - even the Ed.D - is largely a research degree, so if you find research very difficult to the point that you think you can't do it, then I question whether you should embark upon an Ed.D.
 
How many hours?  That's impossible to estimate up front  It depends entirely on the project you pick, how demanding your advisor is, the resources at your particular university, how well and how quickly you write, whether you need to learn new analysis techniques to complete the project, etc.  I think it's more common to think in terms of months or years.  In my field (psychology), a complete dissertation usually takes about 1-2 years to complete.  Roughly 1 year is spent collecting, preparing, and analyzing data, and the other year is spent writing it up.  In my case, I technically only spent 9 months on my dissertation, but that's because the data was largely collected while I was still in coursework and exams.  My dissertation was about 132 pages excluding references.  I spent about 9 months actively working on it - September through May.  I would say that I spent roughly 30 hours on it most weeks. 9 months x 4 weeks x 30 hours is roughly 1080 hours, but that does not include the time I spent writing the dissertation proposal (which took me 3 months prior to actually beginning the dissertation), the time I spent collecting data for the dissertation (that took a long time, but it was part of a larger project that included other papers and supported at least one other dissertation), or the time I spent revising the dissertation after my defense (that took me about a month).  And there were definitely some weeks - especially towards the end - in which I spent more than 30 hours working on the dissertation.
 
Basically, you can see the dissertation as a series of small steps.  It is overall a large project, but you don't tackle it all at once.  I broke my dissertation down into multiple 2-page sections, and so when I sat down to write it wasn't "I'm going to work on my dissertation today" (which feels enormous) but "I'm going to write this 2-page sub-section on XXX today" (which is a doable daily goal).  You set daily and weekly and monthly goals and a timeline for yourself, and you hack away at it a little at a time.

I'm surprised nobody has replied to this post already.  
 
Rooting for you ChocoLatte.  Grad school is definitely not for the faint-of-heart and we have all gone through periods where we want to quit.  (if you do find that you continually want to quit BIGGER things though... like life.... do consider a re-prioritization of your thought process.  Your health should be a priority.  Not grad school!) 
 
Try to do things to keep your mind off work every so often. Fingerpaint.  Bake. It doesn't have to involve money.  Always good to remind yourself that there is life outside the bubble, because it is easy to forget when you focus for so long. :-)

I'm surprised nobody has replied to this post already.  
 
Rooting for you ChocoLatte.  Grad school is definitely not for the faint-of-heart and we have all gone through periods where we want to quit.  (if you do find that you continually want to quit BIGGER things though... like life.... do consider a re-prioritization of your thought process.  Your health should be a priority.  Not grad school!) 
 
Try to do things to keep your mind off work every so often. Fingerpaint.  Bake. It doesn't have to involve money.  Always good to remind yourself that there is life outside the bubble, because it is easy to forget when you focus for so long. :-)

This. I'm not kidding when I say I spent 6 months on mine. And it changed MANY times. At the end, it was worth it.

I wish you would apologize to the person who really wanted to get into UCSD but was declined because they offered the spot to you.

I'm so sorry to hear that your child was in an accident, but am very glad they are okay and not seriously injured. 
 
I honestly recommend EVERYONE carry around a few very important things in their wallet, on their person, at all times. It can be written on a blank business card or index card. Any thicker piece of paper will do:
 
At the top of the card highlight it in lime green (or something distinguishable) and write MEDICAL (this part should be visible from its pocket in your wallet)  Name, and emergency contact(s). Your DOB should be on an ID card anyways.  Medical conditions (any/all). Include disabilities or other health concerns. Asthmatic? Diabetic? Panic disorder? Epilepsy? Pacemaker? That goes here.  Blood type (I have a rare and weird blood issue so I have that listed in the odd case I need a transfusion.)  Allergies (any and all) important medical history (e.g. had a heart attack, stroke, surgery on something major, etc) Prescriptions -- FULL name, dosage of the Rx in mg, and how often you take it. Include the "as needed" prescriptions. Insurance name.  THEN, list pets [if you have no roommate/they aren't your emergency contact] and/or another emergency contact or school/department. An "If hospitalized, please call/email ____ department." Your emergency contacts should include at least ONE local person (roommate or otherwise), and THEY should be given a similar card with your medical information, your family's contact information, and a list of top priority things to be done (feed your pet), and people to contact, probably your advisor -- with the name of your hospital/ER room/etc. If you don't have a roommate, and DO have a pet/home things which need taking care of you can pre-emptively give your emergency contact a spare key to your apartment, provided you trust them. Otherwise, I would speak to your apartment's landlord/on-site manager/whatever and make them aware of your emergency contact, their name, and that you've instructed this contact to get in touch with the manager/landlord in the case of a dire emergency in order to feed/water/whatever. If your roommate is one contact, have a second one in case you were both in the accident. 
 
This card can be incredibly helpful, and I actually learned this from my 75 year old grandmother. After donating blood one day, we took her out to lunch, and she began to feel woozy and faint, as well as clammy. We were lucky, there was a woman at a nearby table who gave us medical advice, and the EMTs showed up fairly quickly to assess her. But when they started asking me what prescriptions she took, I didn't know the answer. My grandmother was too woozy to think of specific names, but said they were in her wallet. I found the card very quickly, and gave it to the EMTs which made their inspection and checking her vitals much easier because it took out all the guesswork. She was fine (low on fluids, otherwise healthy), but being able to have everything on one card made the entire scenario less terrifying and more efficient. More than just a contact (which can sometimes be garnered from your phone or ID, or other things in your wallet), you also need vital medical information. 
 
I have family nearish (about 20 minutes away, and a Doctor), but I still carry the medical card at all times and have a second contact listed. 

My kid just had a vehicle accident and this kind of brought things home with a bang. He's fine (just some minor scrapes and a bit of muscle strain), but his scooter is in many, many pieces. We live two hours away from him when there's no traffic. I left for grad school, so he did stay in his home community for college, where we have a large network of friends and acquaintances (no family). Luckily, my spouse was in town, and actually driving nearby when it occurred, so he was able to be on the scene in a few minutes.
 
So, my advice? If you're new to an area, make an emergency plan. An, I just got hit by a bus, OMFG plan. Find someone, maybe make an emergency contact group out of your fellow no-family-in-town cohort, to be your go-to person/people until either your family can get there or you can take care of yourself. Someone that can take your bookbag from the scene of an accident and hang on to it until you can reclaim it, or you family can pick it up. Someone who your parents can call if they need help finding your hospital room, or getting into contact with someone at the university so they can deal with an extended absence.
 
Sit down and make a list of what needs to happen if you get hit by a bus. Do some rough figuring, how long until a family member can show up and start taking responsibility for the things you can't do until you're out of traction? What needs, at minimum, to happen between you getting hit by a bus and your family member getting to your bedside? Do you have a dog that needs walking? A plant that needs watering? An experiment in progress that needs monitoring? TAing to cover? Food in the office fridge to be tossed? A cake to buy for an office birthday party? Library books that you left scattered on the road?
 
Pre-plan for disaster. The plan will probably fall through in some fashion (most people don't get hit by a bus), but having an arrangement worked out in advance is smart. Particularly since you can put your local emergency contact's name alongside of your non-local emergency contact so someone can get there quickly.

I contemplated quitting my graduate program in my third year.  I ended up not doing it, and I'm really glad I did not quit, but I respect people who know when to pull out and my reasons for contemplating quitting were different.
 
So here was my takeaway from that experience:
 
Feelings of frustration, resistance to doing work, isolation, even mild depression/low-grade "blues" are quite common and - unfortunately - normal in graduate programs.  I hate to say it like this, but they are misery-making experiences.  That doesn't mean you can't be happy - indeed, the last two years of my doctoral program were two of the best years of my life, both personally and professionally.  You just have to make a conscious effort to do it  But the key is to remember why you are there.  If you have compelling reasons for being in your program and you realize, after contemplation, that you really love your field and program but you're just feeling frustrated by normal grad student type stuff, you can get help dealing with the stress and press on.  I was frustrated because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with my life and I was making the transition to being more independent (from classes and papers to qualifying exams and my dissertation).  But I knew I loved my field, and I wanted to be a researcher in my field, and all of the jobs that got me really excited required PhDs.
 
There are cases in which your malaise/depression are really indicators that you should quit, though.  If you are unenthusiastic about the work - that's a key predictor.  It's one thing to be like "Sigh, I don't feel like writing this paper today" occasionally, but if you are like that all the time, in every class, with every assignment, I think that's a sign that you're unenthusiastic about the work and maybe the program isn't a good choice for you.  If doing your work makes you so miserable you want to cry or hide (but you are otherwise a happy/content person), then that's a good sign that you're not in a healthy place and you should leave.  If you think deeply and you can't think of any good reasons to do an MFA professionally or personally - other than "it's free/cheap and not what I was doing before, in theory," then that's probably another sign that you may not want to stay.  That's a sign that you needed to find a better job and/or a career that really fulfills you, not that you need a random graduate degree.
 
As a last thought.  When you begin to discuss these things with friends, family, and acquaintances, you are bound to get at least a few and maybe many people who will say "Just stick it out!"  They will say that you finish what you started, that you only have X years/semesters to go, that they're sure it sucks now but it'll be so great when you finish, that your job prospects will be so much better when you are done, that you took the place of someone else who really wanted to be there and thus you should feel guilt if you leave, and other drivel.  You might be telling yourself these things in a guilt-ridden moment.  They're all rubbish, and the people who say those things usually don't know what they're talking about.  I was really, really surprised when I discussed quitting with people - the people in my field, who had gotten PhDs or were in the process, were all really sympathetic and understanding and tried to help me find resources to solidify my decision and find jobs to move on to.  It was only people who had never attempted a PhD who said stuff like this.
 
And like I said, they are all rubbish.
 
1) You shouldn't always finish what you start.  Sometimes, the prudent thing to do is quit!  If you start doing something and you realize it's useless, why persevere?  For example, if you started painting your living room pink and decide 1/3 of the way through that you really want it to be blue, and you're totally sure, why the heck would you finish painting it pink.
2) It may only be X more years but that is X more years of YOUR life that YOU have to do, nobody else.  Sure, in the grand scheme of things 2 years is not a lot of time.  But life is too short to spend 2 years of your life miserable especially if you don't really want or need the prize at the end.  And 2 years can be a looooong time if you are sad.  That's also 2 years of experience you could be gaining doing something you really like, and 2 more years of savings and retirement investments.
3) It's actually not that 'great' when you finish.  Scientifically, people tend to be really bad at predicting how they will feel in the future.  I thought I would be absolutely elated when I defended my PhD!  In reality, I actually felt really tired, and relieved.  It's been 3 weeks and elation is not what I'd describe any moment since then.  After my defense (which happened at 1 pm), I crawled into my bed and took a long nap.  My committee asked "How's it feel?!" and I was like "It feels like nothing.  I just feel numb.  And tired.  I want to sleep for like a week."  And they laughed and said that was totally normal and they all felt like that, too.  Besides, even if you did feel really elated for even like 2 weeks straight at the end - which isn't going to happen - is that really work 3 years of misery and discontent?  NO!  The only good reasons to finish a graduate degree IMO is because a) you realize that you really need the graduate degree to do what you want to do, even though you are unhappy and/or it is so, so personally important to you to finish the degree that you would be more miserable if you quit.  And I'm skeptical about B.
4) Your job prospects will probably not be much better with an MFA, and honestly, they might be worse.  Some employers will wonder if you expect to be paid more because  you have an MFA in an unrelated field.  Others will be afraid you will jump ship at the earliest opportunity if a more relevant position comes along.  So it's not really a given that an MFA will lead to better job prospects.
5) Finally...this doesn't matter.  You shouldn't feel guilty that you got accepted over someone else.  That's in the past, first of all, and second of all, it has no bearing on whether you decide to leave or not.

^ Gnome Chomsky in 3..2..1..

I think it varies by program.  I'm in the hard sciences and I can say that most people wear jeans daily.  I never see any in sweatpants or yoga pants.  I think the safe bet is the think, "would I be willing to run into somebody important in this outfit?" We are entering the professional arena... time to dress like it. 

I think it varies by program.  I'm in the hard sciences and I can say that most people wear jeans daily.  I never see any in sweatpants or yoga pants.  I think the safe bet is the think, "would I be willing to run into somebody important in this outfit?" We are entering the professional arena... time to dress like it. 

I was just reading this thread because I find government paperwork so confusing. I just filled out all of the paperwork to get paid with my fellowship, and even though I'm an American citizen and I've filled these same forms out with every new job, I turn into a babbling idiot once I get them in my hands. I maintain that they are confusing for a REASON. America loves to tax. If you know what you are doing and fill stuff out correctly, then they have to tax you less. (Or give you a big refund back in April). So what's the solution? Make it confusing so people just give up!

(OK, so maybe that was a bit dramatic, but I think there is some truth to it).

Anyhow, the point to this is not to get too frustrated because even Americans are confused by America's paperwork. :-) You'll be fine.

Oh, the med school path. Good luck. I went down it. It's tough.

I'd start out with a lot of reading. A good place to start might be the Student Doctor Network. It's a forum (like this one) that focuses on medical school. People there can be intimidating, though. Get some books out of the library about what to expect in medical school. Make sure it's what you want before you actually go for it. It's a LOT of hard work, but very fulfilling if you commit yourself and feel called to medicine.

The best way to start out would be to talk to a premed adviser at your university. In general, though, the science courses that you need as prerequisites for med school are biology, physics, general chemistry, and organic chemistry (all one year with labs). Some require calculus too.

You can work the fact that you were a sociology major to your advantage for sure. Med schools value diversity, and now you have a way to stand out from "biology" majors. You have to sell yourself! In your application, make sure you highlight WHY being a sociology major will benefit you (different way of thinking, etc). Never rely on the med school to pick valuable things out of your application. POINT them out.

Med school admission is more competitive than (most) grad school admissions, so stay positive and strong! Go for it :-)

I think it varies by program.  I'm in the hard sciences and I can say that most people wear jeans daily.  I never see any in sweatpants or yoga pants.  I think the safe bet is the think, "would I be willing to run into somebody important in this outfit?" We are entering the professional arena... time to dress like it. 

Bumming a la undergrad: nope. Nope. A thousand times nope. My program & field of work (archaeology) are both extremely casual; we're not known for our high fashion, seeing as we mostly frolic in the dirt or end up elbow deep in dead &/or old stuff. Professors wear khakis, modest skirts or dresses, boots (western or snow) or flats, sweaters/cardigans, etc. That seems to be about par for the course for PhD students & candidates who teach, too. MA & non-teaching students wear jeans (dark navy, black, charcoal) & corduroys, & t-shirts that fall on the nicer end of the design & material spectrum. In general, archaeology is very casual, as is my department. That said, the only time I ever wore sweats to class was because I had to run across campus from the gym to be on time; I'd rather be in sweats than late.
 
I think MoJingly did a nice job of covering the key point: don't wear anything you wouldn't wear in front of an important person. Also, I think dressing in a business casual manner is a sign of respect: grad school is either effectively or quite literally a job for everyone who's there, so wearing proper "office"-type attire is the most basic means of showing your respect for your cohort, your professors, & yourself. Beyond that, you just have to suss out what the norm is in your program, & incorporate that into what you would feel is appropriate for a workspace.

I think it varies by program.  I'm in the hard sciences and I can say that most people wear jeans daily.  I never see any in sweatpants or yoga pants.  I think the safe bet is the think, "would I be willing to run into somebody important in this outfit?" We are entering the professional arena... time to dress like it. 

Agreed. This is my pat response to any of those "FacebookIs10" movies:

Maybe the females on here will sympathize (sorry boys), but MY FEMININE INNARDS HATE ME TODAY ARRRRRGH

I was going to say the same thing. 
 
OP, I had the same situation with a roommate.  I eventually became seriously crotchety and now, three years later, they are getting married and she laughed and said, "ha! you predicted it!"  Shoot me.  I just missed my friend.  
 
I don't have any good advice.  But I would seriously tell her that she can't have him over that often. That's ridiculous.  
 
Rooting for you.

I was going to say the same thing. 
 
OP, I had the same situation with a roommate.  I eventually became seriously crotchety and now, three years later, they are getting married and she laughed and said, "ha! you predicted it!"  Shoot me.  I just missed my friend.  
 
I don't have any good advice.  But I would seriously tell her that she can't have him over that often. That's ridiculous.  
 
Rooting for you.

This is extremely childish.

WHAT does "POI" stand for? I just always say "PI," as in "principal investigator." I've googled. I've lurked. I'm out of ideas. Here are a few I have:

Primary Opium Introducer
Pithy Orangutan Instigator
Perching Orange Intimidator
Person Oppressing Imagination
Pathological Optimism Incinerator
Professor of Interest (<---- that's actually a legitimate guess)


Don't judge me. Maybe somebody else out there has this question too.

Thank the Lord for anonymous forums.