neuropsychosocial

The problem is that if you need to make a claim on your car insurance, there's a very good chance that they will find out that your car has been "garaged" in Michigan (that's the term, regardless of whether the car is in an actual garage) and then deny your claim based on fraud. So if you don't need to make a claim, you won't have any problems, but if you need the insurance, it will be retroactively cancelled, which seems like a catch-22 to me.

Since you asked about humans and animals...

Spouse: "Hey, hey!"

Dog: "Do they have squirrels there?"

Puppy: *pees on floor*

I think that it's very normal to feel mixed emotions when closing doors, even if other doors are opening. At the same time, it sounds like you have some external forces (location and whatever is tying you to that location) exerting some pressure on you, which can definitely raise more doubts or mixed emotions.

I clicked on this thread because of your title:
I apologize for picking on you when you're feeling down, but I find the phrase "retarded" to be inappropriate in this context. You're sad, not intellectually/developmentally delayed or disabled. As with the phrase "that's gay" to mean "that's not cool," using "retarded" to mean "I shouldn't be feeling/thinking like this" contributes to the marginalization of individuals. One of my favorite things about the English language is its richness: there are so many creative and explicit ways to express displeasure than just @#&#, and there are a lot of different phrases to express displeasure with oneself than to say "I'm being retarded."

I think that it's very normal to feel mixed emotions when closing doors, even if other doors are opening. At the same time, it sounds like you have some external forces (location and whatever is tying you to that location) exerting some pressure on you, which can definitely raise more doubts or mixed emotions.

I clicked on this thread because of your title:
I apologize for picking on you when you're feeling down, but I find the phrase "retarded" to be inappropriate in this context. You're sad, not intellectually/developmentally delayed or disabled. As with the phrase "that's gay" to mean "that's not cool," using "retarded" to mean "I shouldn't be feeling/thinking like this" contributes to the marginalization of individuals. One of my favorite things about the English language is its richness: there are so many creative and explicit ways to express displeasure than just @#&#, and there are a lot of different phrases to express displeasure with oneself than to say "I'm being retarded."

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Congrats bhikhaari! (Next month congrats newms? )

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You're not talking about the life of a professor. Professors don't need to ask for days off. If they need days off, there is no "first consideration." It doesn't matter why they want a day off. They just take days off. There's a limit to how many days one can "take off" if one teaches, but the number of days that colleagues will cover classes for each other is greater than zero. At some point, of course, you'll get in trouble for missing 25% of your classes if you're teaching, and if you're un-tenured, you should be careful. But even if you're untenured and you qualify to compete at the bowling semi-finals, your colleagues will be supportive, generally.

The problem that you describe is very real and present in many work situations, but the OP specifically asked about the life of a professor. Professors don't sit around deciding who gets to leave early on Tuesday. They just don't.

Depending on your department and your tenure status, one of the biggest advantages of being a professor is schedule flexibility: if you want to pick your child up at 3PM and go to soccer practice until 5PM, you can (as long as you can negotiate a class schedule that ends before 3PM!). Doctors' appointments, sick days, etc. are all somewhat easier than in other jobs. That time needs to be made up, though. It can be at 2AM or on Sunday, but I think most professors work 60+ hours a week. At the same time, how many professionals with similar levels of education work less than 55-60 hours a week?

Since you asked about humans and animals...

Spouse: "Hey, hey!"

Dog: "Do they have squirrels there?"

Puppy: *pees on floor*

Thanks for replying! I edited some stuff out because I didn't realize posts on here were permanent (glad I found out before the hour was up!)....

I don't know how to say this , but:
Basically, I have spent days and days and weeks and weeks going through "graduate students" profiles at schools all over the rankings, and many unranked. I am a domestic student, and a minority at that, and most departments have NO domestic students of any kind. So my view is that the spots for domestic students would be the most competitive....I would LOVE to be wrong but that's just from my research (n=probably 300+ students)

On top of that, from the profiles i've seen, I don't really have the super 4.0 GPA, summer research experience, etc that others have. And while my stats course coverage is pretty good, I only have the "minimum" math requirements.

There is no need to say much , Berkeley is the best choice. Berkeley has best Ranking, Location and academic Resources. Frankly speaking, I can not see any difficulties to make decision from your list.

Yes, I think this is fine. If it would make you feel more comfortable, you could attach an extra page to your application materials explaining the situation.



It would not be okay to submit a letter of recommendation that was written after the recommender died.

I would recommend thinking about which ones you'll actually use. How much of the information is available online? I've realized that when I need to know something from a lower-level class, it's usually easier to just google it, rather than spending the time finding it in the book. There are a couple of classes where the articles on wikipedia are more detailed than my understanding of the material, and I'm keeping my undergrad text because I understand how it presents the material (cognitive neuroscience, I'm looking at you!). I've moved my undergrad texts three times now and I'm selling most of them on amazon before I move again - it's not worth moving the textbooks, for the most part. If you do want to take books with you, media mail is a great way to send books cheaply - maybe $15 for 60 pounds? If you mail them the day before you leave, you'll definitely beat the package there, assuming that you're not walking from Oregon to Florida. The packages needs to be MEDIA only, and if you're sending books, I highly suggest wrapping them in plastic, just in case they encounter some water on the way... although I probably shouldn't have bothered sending an entire box of old National Geographics, anyway.

What school and program did you get accepted to?

I think the whole tenor of your comments suggests that you're resigned to your situation: you talk about coping, etc. You have to realize that nothing's going to change if you don't make an effort. I certainly know that feeling: you're absolutely miserable in your situation but you are so accustomed to it that you can't even imagine anything else. I think it's right that you seek psychological support, but there are a few things you could do to create a sense of separation from your mother right now.

For instance, you've talked about being 'forced' to surrender your savings, etc. I'm assuming, and correct me if I'm wrong, that means you're somehow dependent on your mother financially, i.e., you have joint accounts or something, such that you can't do anything without her. If that's the case, you should set up your own accounts and make sure your earnings are deposited there. That way you'll have complete and exclusive control over your finances.

Second, do not rely on your mother or her car for transportation, or do so as little as possible. I know that sounds small and kind of trivial, but I'd suggest that depending on her to go anywhere only reinforces your actual and psychological dependence. Take public transportation, walk, get a bike, whatever you need to do to inculcate in yourself a sense of independence.

I know you say you can't move out, but I think it's really a necessary and vital step. Especially from your last post, you whole living environment seems incredibly toxic and damaging. See if you can move in with friends, even for a short time, or look for a roommate to lower the costs.

Going back to my first points, you absolutely must stop thinking of yourself as a victim; it's self-reinforcing and destructive. You are an adult; you are an autonomous human being of independent moral worth, and you cannot be forced to do what you don't want to do. In a real sense, it isn't your mother who is, for instance, forcing you to apply to grad school (what does that even look like?), but you forcing yourself to obey your mother. This you have to break out of.

I think that it's very normal to feel mixed emotions when closing doors, even if other doors are opening. At the same time, it sounds like you have some external forces (location and whatever is tying you to that location) exerting some pressure on you, which can definitely raise more doubts or mixed emotions.

I clicked on this thread because of your title:
I apologize for picking on you when you're feeling down, but I find the phrase "retarded" to be inappropriate in this context. You're sad, not intellectually/developmentally delayed or disabled. As with the phrase "that's gay" to mean "that's not cool," using "retarded" to mean "I shouldn't be feeling/thinking like this" contributes to the marginalization of individuals. One of my favorite things about the English language is its richness: there are so many creative and explicit ways to express displeasure than just @#&#, and there are a lot of different phrases to express displeasure with oneself than to say "I'm being retarded."

I think that it's very normal to feel mixed emotions when closing doors, even if other doors are opening. At the same time, it sounds like you have some external forces (location and whatever is tying you to that location) exerting some pressure on you, which can definitely raise more doubts or mixed emotions.

I clicked on this thread because of your title:
I apologize for picking on you when you're feeling down, but I find the phrase "retarded" to be inappropriate in this context. You're sad, not intellectually/developmentally delayed or disabled. As with the phrase "that's gay" to mean "that's not cool," using "retarded" to mean "I shouldn't be feeling/thinking like this" contributes to the marginalization of individuals. One of my favorite things about the English language is its richness: there are so many creative and explicit ways to express displeasure than just @#&#, and there are a lot of different phrases to express displeasure with oneself than to say "I'm being retarded."

I think that it's very normal to feel mixed emotions when closing doors, even if other doors are opening. At the same time, it sounds like you have some external forces (location and whatever is tying you to that location) exerting some pressure on you, which can definitely raise more doubts or mixed emotions.

I clicked on this thread because of your title:
I apologize for picking on you when you're feeling down, but I find the phrase "retarded" to be inappropriate in this context. You're sad, not intellectually/developmentally delayed or disabled. As with the phrase "that's gay" to mean "that's not cool," using "retarded" to mean "I shouldn't be feeling/thinking like this" contributes to the marginalization of individuals. One of my favorite things about the English language is its richness: there are so many creative and explicit ways to express displeasure than just @#&#, and there are a lot of different phrases to express displeasure with oneself than to say "I'm being retarded."

I think that it's very normal to feel mixed emotions when closing doors, even if other doors are opening. At the same time, it sounds like you have some external forces (location and whatever is tying you to that location) exerting some pressure on you, which can definitely raise more doubts or mixed emotions.

I clicked on this thread because of your title:
I apologize for picking on you when you're feeling down, but I find the phrase "retarded" to be inappropriate in this context. You're sad, not intellectually/developmentally delayed or disabled. As with the phrase "that's gay" to mean "that's not cool," using "retarded" to mean "I shouldn't be feeling/thinking like this" contributes to the marginalization of individuals. One of my favorite things about the English language is its richness: there are so many creative and explicit ways to express displeasure than just @#&#, and there are a lot of different phrases to express displeasure with oneself than to say "I'm being retarded."

I think that it's very normal to feel mixed emotions when closing doors, even if other doors are opening. At the same time, it sounds like you have some external forces (location and whatever is tying you to that location) exerting some pressure on you, which can definitely raise more doubts or mixed emotions.

I clicked on this thread because of your title:
I apologize for picking on you when you're feeling down, but I find the phrase "retarded" to be inappropriate in this context. You're sad, not intellectually/developmentally delayed or disabled. As with the phrase "that's gay" to mean "that's not cool," using "retarded" to mean "I shouldn't be feeling/thinking like this" contributes to the marginalization of individuals. One of my favorite things about the English language is its richness: there are so many creative and explicit ways to express displeasure than just @#&#, and there are a lot of different phrases to express displeasure with oneself than to say "I'm being retarded."

Glasstothearson, first off I just want to commend you for seeking treatment. Though I can understand why you might feel bad about leaving the office for a few hours each week, you are receiving vital medical treatment. If you were a professor, how would you feel if your student, diagnosed with depression and anxiety, felt bad about visiting his or her therapist? Wouldn't you do all you could to reassure them that they deserve treatment, that their lives are precious, too, and that just as the cancer patient receives regular chemotherapy, so must the person suffering from mental illness? If your advisor asks you about your absences, feel free to share only as much as you would like. I like poco_puffs' idea of referencing a "standing appointment."

I've struggled with severe recurring depression ever since I was 13. I resorted to self-harm behaviors and, at my most desperate point at which I lost all hope, I attempted suicide soon after I graduated from college, as a master's student. You are correct in your suspicion that many people experience depression and/or anxiety in grad school. Many more probably go untreated. So again I congratulate you on receiving a combination of medication and psychotherapy to accelerate your recovery. I hope that you have found your medication and biweekly therapy satisfactory. It can take a while for the effects of those treatments to kick in.

If you would like to explore additional therapy, I would recommend dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). It emphasizes letting go of negative self-judgments and practicing self-compassion. Its four themes are mindfulness, distress tolerance, interpersonal effectiveness, and emotion regulation. It is empirically supported for the treatment of depression.

It's a grievous shame that most university health insurance plans only cover psychotherapy for up to 12 or so sessions per academic year, I think. That's how it worked at my undergrad. Please don't be afraid to seek additional treatment (in the form of group therapy, weekly or twice-weekly therapy instead of biweekly therapy, etc.) if you feel your current treatments are not making you feel better.

Feeling Good by David Burns has been recommended to me if you would like to explore bibliotherapy.

I wish you all the best as well as a speedy recovery. Navigating depression's fog can often seem like an endless voyage, as if lost at sea without a compass, or like trudging through waist-deep mud, but the best thing about this illness is that it is 100 percent treatable. In therapy, you can also learn ways to build resilience and cope with stress to ward off depression should it ever threaten to return (let's hope it doesn't).

Take care, and please be ask kind to yourself as you would like others to be.

I think that it's very normal to feel mixed emotions when closing doors, even if other doors are opening. At the same time, it sounds like you have some external forces (location and whatever is tying you to that location) exerting some pressure on you, which can definitely raise more doubts or mixed emotions.

I clicked on this thread because of your title:
I apologize for picking on you when you're feeling down, but I find the phrase "retarded" to be inappropriate in this context. You're sad, not intellectually/developmentally delayed or disabled. As with the phrase "that's gay" to mean "that's not cool," using "retarded" to mean "I shouldn't be feeling/thinking like this" contributes to the marginalization of individuals. One of my favorite things about the English language is its richness: there are so many creative and explicit ways to express displeasure than just @#&#, and there are a lot of different phrases to express displeasure with oneself than to say "I'm being retarded."

I think that it's very normal to feel mixed emotions when closing doors, even if other doors are opening. At the same time, it sounds like you have some external forces (location and whatever is tying you to that location) exerting some pressure on you, which can definitely raise more doubts or mixed emotions.

I clicked on this thread because of your title:
I apologize for picking on you when you're feeling down, but I find the phrase "retarded" to be inappropriate in this context. You're sad, not intellectually/developmentally delayed or disabled. As with the phrase "that's gay" to mean "that's not cool," using "retarded" to mean "I shouldn't be feeling/thinking like this" contributes to the marginalization of individuals. One of my favorite things about the English language is its richness: there are so many creative and explicit ways to express displeasure than just @#&#, and there are a lot of different phrases to express displeasure with oneself than to say "I'm being retarded."

I think that it's very normal to feel mixed emotions when closing doors, even if other doors are opening. At the same time, it sounds like you have some external forces (location and whatever is tying you to that location) exerting some pressure on you, which can definitely raise more doubts or mixed emotions.

I clicked on this thread because of your title:
I apologize for picking on you when you're feeling down, but I find the phrase "retarded" to be inappropriate in this context. You're sad, not intellectually/developmentally delayed or disabled. As with the phrase "that's gay" to mean "that's not cool," using "retarded" to mean "I shouldn't be feeling/thinking like this" contributes to the marginalization of individuals. One of my favorite things about the English language is its richness: there are so many creative and explicit ways to express displeasure than just @#&#, and there are a lot of different phrases to express displeasure with oneself than to say "I'm being retarded."

I think that it's very normal to feel mixed emotions when closing doors, even if other doors are opening. At the same time, it sounds like you have some external forces (location and whatever is tying you to that location) exerting some pressure on you, which can definitely raise more doubts or mixed emotions.

I clicked on this thread because of your title:
I apologize for picking on you when you're feeling down, but I find the phrase "retarded" to be inappropriate in this context. You're sad, not intellectually/developmentally delayed or disabled. As with the phrase "that's gay" to mean "that's not cool," using "retarded" to mean "I shouldn't be feeling/thinking like this" contributes to the marginalization of individuals. One of my favorite things about the English language is its richness: there are so many creative and explicit ways to express displeasure than just @#&#, and there are a lot of different phrases to express displeasure with oneself than to say "I'm being retarded."

I have always hated sandwiches and bread. I do not like them in a box. I do not like them with a fox. I do not like them in a house. I do mot like them with a mouse. I do not like them here or there. I do not like them anywhere. (That's a Dr. Seuss reference, for anyone spared Seuss growing up.)

However, I once had this amazing sandwich in Vermont: french toast made from sourdough bread, ham, sharp cheddar, and real maple syrup... yum! I salivate, just thinking about it.