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everygirl

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Everything posted by everygirl

  1. I agree with the worries about what to tell LOR professors. I'm bought them both cute (appropriate) presents. At the time I got the presents, I thought I should wait to give them as they would be good to go with my thank you notes that also had my acceptance news in them. But now I wish I had just given the presents early. How depressing would it be to open the cute present, reach for the card and see "I got rejected from every school I applied to. Thanks for believing in me, but it was a waste of your time, energy, and letter writing skills. Here's a cute present though!"
  2. I am everygirl. Like everyone else, I am an addict. First step is admitting it. My email is hooked up to my phone, so there's no point in refreshing the page constantly. I do anyway. I work in an office with access to the internet, so I check the gradcafe results page. Hourly. Despite the policy of acceptable use of technology, I keep it up on my browser. Next to my email. I also constantly google my POIs. I don't know what I expect to find, but it's occasionally interesting. One of them is a runner and I know his latest time.
  3. I am everygirl. Like everyone else, I am an addict. First step is admitting it. My email is hooked up to my phone, so there's no point in refreshing the page constantly. I do anyway. I work in an office with access to the internet, so I check the gradcafe results page. Hourly. Despite the policy of acceptable use of technology, I keep it up on my browser. Next to my email. I also constantly google my POIs. I don't know what I expect to find, but it's occasionally interesting. One of them is a runner and I know his latest time.
  4. I think the professor crush is incredibly common. I read somewhere that professor crushes are rarely based on real feelings because you're more 'in love' with the way they make you feel, as in excited about new ideas, thoughts -- learning, in a sense. Because we don't know this about ourselves, we mistake it for real feelings! "Intellectual infatuation" and "geek" really hit the nail on the head here, in that it takes a true geek to crush on a professor, because you're really crushing on 'learning'. I think all the professor crush really shows is that the professor is doing a good job in 'stimulating' exciting critical thought. What's interesting is that you've never met him, so this crush is even more abstract. I don't have all the details, but if I can infer that you haven't started grad school but you're really excited about it, can I humbly suggest that you're in love with the idea of grad school itself and just transferring your feelings to your professor? Anyway, I speak from experience: I always had crushes on my undergrad professors, but had a pretty intense one in my last year of school. At the same time, I always knew I would never act on any of these crushes, so even when I graduated, I didn't try anything with the one in my last year. I (kind of) knew where my feelings were coming from. My boyfriend at the time mostly thought it was amusing the way I'd dress up for class sometimes -- wear something sexy on a date with him and then wear a toned down version to class the next day. I had a lot of fun... the fantasy of him throwing me on top of his desk just stays with me! I mean, EDUCATE ME HARDER. And to answer your question, no, the feelings never really went away. I still keep in contact with him, so when he sends me an email I get a thrill. And I revive the desk fantasy. My advice: when you meet him, just have fun with the fantasy. We all know the risks with showing any kind of feelings, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun in your head.
  5. Second the luck! I am weary of the waiting game, but I also can't imagine NOT waiting. I've been waiting to apply for so long, and then preparing my applications for so long, and then waiting for the results. I just can't imagine actually knowing if I'll get in! Seriously, I bought play tickets for a late April, and was visited by the chilling thought that by the time I go to this play, I will KNOW. Scary stuff.
  6. My SO-at-the-time was applying to programs two years ago, and I don't think I was very supportive and understanding at the time. I was young and immature, to be sure, but I regret not being more understanding. We've since broken up, but have remained very good friends. Now that I am going through the application ordeal, he's probably the most supportive and understanding person I know because he's been through it all. It's a bit embarrassing because I can see how much I was lacking that department.
  7. http://grrm.livejournal.com/198122.html I'll be reading THAT. Happy dance!
  8. You're not in Canada, are you? I haven't heard from any of my schools either because they're making decisions mid to late March. Heard it can take to early April. If you're located elsewhere, hear this: it's not over, until it's over, till the fat lady sings a rejection letter. Hang in there!
  9. I do have a job right now, and I'm planning on leaving it if I get into my top choice program. But I waver a lot. My job is a very good entry level position in the government, and it is actually interesting, with fun people and a lot of room for professional growth. When I graduated, I went for an internship, thinking I could work for a summer while thinking about what I wanted to study in grad school, and then go back and possibly beef up my undergraduate degree. But since then I've been promoted at my job and decided not to go back to my undergraduate school. Some days I think ... with the economy so bad and gainful employment so hard to find, I"m not sure what I'm doing, thinking about leaving this position to chase this dream, even though to have advanced degrees in my discipline is a dream I've had for a long time. There are no guarantees that I'll be able to get a job with this degree after graduating -- so why don't I just stay where I am and work my way up with what I already have? It seems to be working so far. Other days I think that in the long run, advanced degrees would increase my earning potential and give me the skills I wouldn't get in an entry level position, so I could skip the micro promotions and go for a big one at the end. I'm only 23, why should I settle? Why should I give up on dreams so fast? On the other hand, I'm only 23, who says there's only one dream -- who says that the one dream I had of being incredibly educated in my field and using it is the only way to live life? I like what I'm doing right now. It's time to branch out from school. Grad school isn't going anywhere. It might even be easier to get into with more funding after the recession is over and people go back to work! Blargh. Lots of things to think about. I suppose I better get accepted somewhere before starting to freak out about big decisions. *Note: am already freaking out.
  10. I'm hoping for no snail mail notifications, because I had to list my parents address as my mailing address. I might move from my current apartment to another one, and I don't want my mail lost in transit. Right now, I live an hour away from them by train. If i get a call from my mom saying that something arrived in the mail from one of the schools, I won't be able to have her read it out loud to me over the phone. (If it's a rejection, reasons are obvious. If it's an acceptance, I deserve the see the words on the page, with the school letterhead on top.) I'll have to get on the train, sit in sweat and suspense for an hour, and then, upon ripping the envelope open, I may find out that I got rejected from my top school. And then I'll have to board the train back because I have to go to my job in the morning. Nuts. No snail mail, please.
  11. When you think of a gift for your professors, do you feel weird about it? You want to do something nice, but do you have to convince yourself that it's normal, nice and not inappropriate? Go with your gut feeling. You want to do something nice, but keep within the boundaries. This gift might be the last thing they associate with you, and you don't want to give something inappropriate that might shadow your years of work with them. The next time you see them, you could be at a conference as a colleague! I wouldn't want my former professors thinking..."That was the kid who gave me the lingerie." Extreme example. That being said, I want to do something nice for my professors too. Something a little beyond the norm, because they went beyond the norm for me. One of them is a serious runner and I used to see her frequently on campus in workout clothes. (She actually owned workout clothes with the school logos, entire suits, and I used to poke fun at her for it.) So I thought maybe I'd get her another school T-shirt and silk screen one of the fundamental questions of our discipline. I'm comfortable with that, it's not too expensive, and thoughtful, i think. For the other professor, I thought maybe a nice book. He doesn't have much of a sense of humor. I would feel uncomfortable doing anything more.
  12. I don't think the professor is the OP's referee -- nothing to indicate that in the posting -- but that is a great point. I can see how dating a former referee would be an issue with one's cohort. Even if the relationship started after graduation, feelings usually start before. I would think that undergrad referees are usually not talked about very much after admission, though. Correct me if I'm wrong.
  13. My program hasn't started contacting -- they said they would notify late March -- but the school itself started contacting mid-February. Similar programs. Rationally, I know this doesn't mean anything. OR DOES IT.
  14. I love this! My keyboard is my cat's one true love. When I haul him off, he looks hurt. Betrayed. I think he is trying to write me a message. MOAR TRREEATTS.
  15. Thank you for the responses. I feel like it's pretty obvious I should go, even with the potential weirdness factor, but I. don't. want. to. I think I'm just being neurotic and overthinking it because of the NO ACCEPTANCES thing. Even though, in Canada, we generally receive our decisions later. This particular program won't contact until late March. So it's likely they'll understand, but I still cringe inside when my imaginary self says "Um, NO acceptances yet, grad student comfortably situated in program! But thank you for inquiring." Oh well. They are actually serving free booze and food during the performance part of the evening, so there is that. Yes, yes, you are correct. My mother would say the same thing if I wanted to talk to her about this grad school thing. Which I don't, because the first words out of her mouth are usually along the lines of, "You'll get in! Don't worry. Do you mind if I tell your grandmother you got in already, even if it turns out you don't? She's old, and the shock... I mean, we succeed in our family. Your father's side, they're the losers."
  16. This situation reminds me of something that's going on in my workplace right now. It has recently come out that one of the directors (one of the seven big bosses in my department) is dating a fairly junior member of the another section. She doesn't report to her SO, but to another director. While their fields are fairly close as its the same department, it's very unlikely he would ever be her direct supervisor, or even indirectly oversee any of her work. They don't even sit in on the same meetings. I'm not even sure how they met -- it's a big department. It was a well-kept secret for a while -- they divulged to HR -- but they came our company Christmas party as a couple. I have been in the know for a while, so it was interesting to watch everyone's reaction, which, I'm sorry to say, was disgust. I'm guessing part of the reason is the not insignificant age difference (fifteen years? maybe more?) but in large part it was due to the fact that he was 'above' her, and close friends with her boss/director. (All of the directors are close friends.) My company is fairly judgmental and politicky, and this did her no favors. I hear she's been getting a bit of a cold shoulder, but nothing that can actually be reported. Nothing has happened to him, I guess because most of his friends and close coworkers have known for a long time. As for my own opinion, I didn't care or think it was inappropriate, for all the reasons I stated above. If he was her direct supervisor, I would feel differently, but our department is so big that she is almost dating someone in a different company. I also don't care about the age difference one whit. As for your situation, I'm not sure why this would be a big deal to your fellow students, but for safety's sake, I would keep mum for a little while, much like the couple I am using an example. I guess you can't trust in your classmates maturity until you know them and they know you. Keep trucking on, and enjoy the relationship! I had lots of crushes on my professors in my undergrad, so I like your story.
  17. Hi fellow-waiters, The program director for one of the schools I applied to sent an invitation to all the applicants to attend the grad-student conference this weekend. (Side note: I saw her name in my inbox and had a HEART ATTACK. Alas, only an invitation, not a decision. But what a mean thing to do.) Purportedly, past/present students and faculty are attending. I'm not sure if I should go, even though it's in my immediate area, in a part of town I usually frequent anyway. Reasons below: 1) I would feel lame. I'm just an applicant to the program. Even though we were invited, I would just feel... lame. If I don't get in, I would feel embarrassed having met a lot of my almost-cohort, only to never see them again. I don't know why, especially since I'll never see them again. 2) As far as I can tell, no one in my life wants to go with me, so I'd have to go alone. Even more lame. 3) I'm generally an outgoing and friendly person, but I am having a hard time believing that about myself right now (reason: no acceptances). The most I want to do this weekend is curl up with cheap wine and wait for Monday so I can check the mail. (I am not speaking in hyperbole.) I don't want to network. Shan't. 4) I don't think my POIs are attending, but I can't be sure of that. I also don't want to email the director to confirm. Should I? Opinions are greatly appreciated. Please leave one below. P.S. This is my second choice school, if it matters.
  18. I am Every Girl. Like all of you neurotic grad school hopefuls, only Canadian. But I used to choose my usernames based on whatever item was immediately beside my right hand as I typed. I have been ContactLens_Solution, EmptyWaterBottle, and BagoCatTreats in other forums.
  19. I don't re-read my acceptances because I have yet to secure one. In Canada, we get ours later. But I do re-read the emails from my schools saying my application has been forwarded from general admissions and onto the program admissions committee. I'm not sure why. I also re-read my writing sample and my transcript (accidentally requested an extra). I don't know why because I don't actually feel better afterwards.
  20. I'll write about my acceptance/rejection using bad song lyrics that are not my own, like many of the asshats I am 'friends' with.
  21. I'm so boring. No major changes in undergrad at all. The only thing I did was decide to specialize in my field instead of major. (I'm Canadian -- don't know if that made sense to you Yanks. To graduate from my large Canadian university, you need either two majors, or one major and two minors, OR specialize, which means taking more courses in the field -- the harder ones.) That's from an academic standpoint. In my personal life, I suppose I moved out of my parents house (first and probably last non-married female to do so on both sides of my extended family, ever), had my first serious relationship, lied about my first serious relationship to my parents, got three piercings, a tattoo, numerous one night stands, and got two cats! (From living a previously pet free life.) I also permed my hair.
  22. David Foster Wallace. Book of essays, A Supposedly Fun Thing I'll Never Do Again. A seriously good read, and he was once a professor/instructor at Pomona College (I think). Whoever said A Game of Thrones upthread -- awesome. That's next on my list. I read the entire series once a year because I think A Dance With Dragons will come out every year.
  23. Even though I can read emails on my phone, I refresh my inbox on my computer because my Blackberry sometimes has a two minute lag with email notifications. I have tested it. So, really, we're not crazy. I'd rather know two minutes ahead of time. I'm SAVING time.
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