wildviolet

I am surprised by my inability to manage my time. I'm halfway through my program. You would have thought I'd have figured it out by now.

I am surprised by my inability to manage my time. I'm halfway through my program. You would have thought I'd have figured it out by now.

Yes, I agree! I can still shop at Nordstroms and Sephora (just not as much as I used to)!

I am surprised by my inability to manage my time. I'm halfway through my program. You would have thought I'd have figured it out by now.

I am in a very similar situation. I went on six interviews and have been accepted at one school, waitlisted at another, and am waiting to hear from others. The school I was accepted into was not at the top of my list as far as research interests go and it is geographically extremely far, so I am thinking of applying again next year, too!

I couldn't disagree more with the above response. I am sure that may be a good philosophy for some, but as for me, I don't think of getting into graduate school as picking up cash from the floor. Getting into graduate school is much like getting into a relationship with someone for the next 5-6 years. Do you want that to be an amazing relationship or a mediocre one? Are you willing to get rejected a second time? Will you have regrets if you didn't try harder down the line? Maybe. I know I will, so I am applying again. 
 
I would be happier waiting a year, getting more experience, publishing another paper, and trying my very, very hardest to get into schools that I LOVE! That's just me though. The way I think of it, if they want to reject you a second time, then so be it, at least you gave it your all!! The decision is completely up to you, don't let others tell you what you should or should not do. Make sure you are ready to get into a relationship with the right graduate school, the right PI, and the right research match! It's like picking Mr. Right vs. Mr. Right now. 
 
To me, it sounds like your new experiences are wonderful and will help increase the chances of you getting in! I wish you the best of luck!

Could you switch your city to a nearby larger city? That might net you a bigger pool of possible dates. 
 
Also, screw that professor. For all he knows, you could land a TT position at a swankier institution than the one he works at now, and bring him on as spousal hire. But, whatever. Totally his loss!
 
FWIW, post-grad school doesn't get any better since you may end up in the middle of nowhere (2-4 hours from a major city) while working at an even smaller institution. I have several friends in that boat now.

My favorite comic/grad school website:
 
http://whatshouldwecallgradschool.tumblr.com/

So... you can't have dinner parties?

So... you can't have dinner parties?

^ That reminds me. I keep a journal (Moleskine), and I'll bitch about stuff in my journal. Stuff that I probably shouldn't say to anyone because it's not exactly PC. Like, how much some people's mannerisms annoy me (even though they're my "friends"). Writing in my journal helps me let the steam out. Then I can go back to being my normal, happy, friendly self.

^ That reminds me. I keep a journal (Moleskine), and I'll bitch about stuff in my journal. Stuff that I probably shouldn't say to anyone because it's not exactly PC. Like, how much some people's mannerisms annoy me (even though they're my "friends"). Writing in my journal helps me let the steam out. Then I can go back to being my normal, happy, friendly self.

I just want to pop in to defend the social sciences and dispute this implication that people in the "hard" sciences are smarter so going there would solve the problem.  Group discussions give people the opportunity to open their mouths and possibly look like idiots.  You might think that hard science students are more worthy of your time, but it could just be that in lecture-based classes they're not being given similar chances to demonstrate that many are, indeed, also morons.   [Assuming they're actually morons and we don't have an unskilled and unaware situation going on here...]
 
 
My practical advice is that if your advisor relationship is fine, stick with it and focus your outside-of-class time on the students whose contributions you enjoy. Grad school is more about the research than the classes anyway.

I'm trying to figure out if that pun was intentional.

Hey, just a voice of encouragement! We in anthropology often spend a minimum of 10 months away from our home department collecting data in the field, and obviously not always in the U.S. By the time I finish with this phase of things, I'll have been living two continents away for nearly 2 years. Technology really makes it a whole different ball game. My advisor and I email very regularly, we Skype when needed, and collaborate on revisions for various things. I have a whole different support network here in the field, which has its own benefits. There is something to be said for focusing on your work and dissertation but not becoming embroiled in it to the point that you forget life outside your PhD program exists. It can be very grounding to be in a different environment and actually, for me personally, having this taste outside of the daily life of my department has been motivating me to get the dissertation finished because I can't wait to find an exciting job (in academia or outside). I think it's highly personal and you have to be honest with yourself about how much of a self-starter you are. Do you need someone in your department to be telling you what to do all the time? Do you like doing things in groups? Or is weekly Skyping with your home department friends enough to encourage and support you? It definitely depends on the responsiveness of your advisor, also. If you think doing this fieldwork would enhance your dissertation then you definitely have to go for it!

I feel beaten down because I live in a world where an unarmed teenager can be shot by a cop without legal just consequences. I am sad that I am acquaintances with people that tell me to get over these things and practice "functional apathy." It easier for them to do so because they don't have brothers, cousins, or nephews that are criminalized by the color of their skin; but I do, so it's hard for me to not be scared sometimes. 

Strategies? More like denial. I'll usually do something else, whether it's stuff I have to do anyway, like laundry or grocery shopping, or stuff that interests me, like reading a book for fun or dancing. Then, when I feel up to it, I'll come back and address whatever it is that's bothering me.

Strategies? More like denial. I'll usually do something else, whether it's stuff I have to do anyway, like laundry or grocery shopping, or stuff that interests me, like reading a book for fun or dancing. Then, when I feel up to it, I'll come back and address whatever it is that's bothering me.

I'm so obsessed, I've been over at the sub-reddit forums (and I never go there)...
 
At this point, I think Adnan did it (he just sounds too slick and his story has too many holes; plus his being okay with being in prison; if I were truly innocent, I would protest and be fairly angry for a long, long time), but the prosecution did not provide sufficient evidence to prove guilt beyond a reasonable doubt, so he should have been acquitted. But, since he was convicted, then it's kind of like they got the right man but for the wrong reasons... which raises a whole lot of questions about how our criminal justice system works. I think I would rather have guilty people go free than innocent people imprisoned.
 
I think I'm so hooked because it's a lot like research. Since I do social science research, a lot of what I do is look at the evidence I have (what people say, do, say they feel, and say they think) and try to figure out people's motivations and thinking. Even if they "tell" me something, there's always stuff going on underneath that even they may not be aware of. I like to think that I'm a good BS detector. I have to be if I'm the interviewer trying to get at the bottom of something... I have to get people to trust me so that they'll reveal their assumptions, biases, etc. But, I'm also a storyteller--my advisor is always asking me--what's your story? What's the central tension? Who are the major players? Is the tension going to be resolved by the end? How? And that's where my writing and storytelling skills come in... if anything, I've been energized by this podcast to make sure that I work on telling really good stories about my research.

My friend just told me about Serial (I've been a little out of the loop, and I don't listen to podcasts anymore since I don't drive long distances). I am so obsessed! Anyone else?
 
http://serialpodcast.org/

Well, first off, I don't think your problem will be so much how to deal with bombing your first paper as much as it is how to deal with your professor. You seem to have some pretty basic disagreements. I've received plenty of negative feedback on my writing and speaking - how can you improve if you don't know what's wrong - and public embarrassment is, if used correctly, an effective teaching technique, but I don't know anyone who would use it as their first teaching technique. I would certainly go talk to him and see what's up. The worst that can happen is that he tells you all the things you're doing wrong.
 
For the rest of it, I've always taken the little bit of advice from Adventure Time:
 

Haha. I used to go to a school where a similar color was the school's official color. TONS of people wore those sweatpants, at least especially for undergrad.
Personally, the idea of wearing cute graphic tees to class has made me uncomfortable; although I don't think there's any sort of dress code, my field tends to joke about being best dressed. I have loads of cartoon shirts & whatnots, but I wear them on the weekends/at home. it also helps me feel a better work/play divide.

Of course, to me, clothing is less "text" and more art . So for my field: what is its style? form and shape? are there patterns? what colors are used? complimentary or contrasting? what about sizes of the outfit - cropped, oversize, fitted, etc? what about the textures and textiles at play -- leather, suede, silk, cotton, wools? is it symmetrical or asymmetrical, does your line flow? is there volume, and does it vary? how do the shapes and colors complement your body? is it modeled after a stylistic period? e.g.: 20's "flapper" style, 80's angles and colors, etc. What imagery are you recalling, and how are you seen? Who will be seeing you, what is going to be looked at first, is a unified 'style' evident in what you wear? What ornamentation have you added, and of what kind -- jewelry, bags, shoes, watches, etc.

I wear something close(ish) to business casual, though am decidedly more liberal with the fashion aspects: I stick to slacks, ponte pants, chinos, and dark/black jeans. Sometimes I'll wear a lighter washed jean. Ponte pants are thicker than leggings and have the nice stretchy-ness of them. They look a little more polished than a general legging, and can be warmer for those worried about fall/winter chills.

My jersey tees are usually classic cut/solid or patterned, fitted rather than "boxy". I also have blouses (button up and otherwise), patterned and solid print dresses -- I'm most fond of wrap, a-line, shift cuts, pencil and a-line skirts, scarves of various sizes and colors/patterns, and i have three bags: one in dark brown, one in red brown, and one in tan. I'll probably add a black bag so that my neutrals are "covered". Then I have flats, loafers, oxfords, and motorcycle boots. My shoes/bags tend to be neutral so that I can show off colors in my clothes. Nice colored chinos are great for that - gold, navy, maroon,etc. This may sound "boring" but my department is fine with fashion -- I spice up with tights, jewelry, scarves, I think i can get away with more in this respect because it's so "artsy", and I can be more colorful and daring than say, the law students or MBAs.

Some of us go for chunky knits and leggings; denim button downs and gold bracelets, etc. These are all fine...but I think looking "schlubby" for class would stand out in a bad way here. Although apparently one (woman) professor looks down on high heels. Some sort of assault against "feminism" in her mind, I guess.

I'm hoping to add to my exercise wardrobe however, I need a good few changes of clothes to hit the gym with.

Depends on the culture of your program.
 
I wore a Darth Vader t-shirt and jean shorts to teach last Friday. Thursday, when I went to class, my t-shirt said, "Ask my about my AD/HD Highway to Hey a squirrel!" My Thursday class is a research methods course that grad students from several disciplines take every semester. There are two folks from the business school, one in public policy, and one in some profession blah blah blah that I didn't catch. The business school and professional blah blah blah wear formal business wear. Seriously, they're totally dressed to be an ADA on a Law & Order episode at any time. I'm a total shlub next to them. The public policy student is somewhere between business formal and business casual, more Sunday School Teacher Formal than anything.
 
I consider dress to be text, ergo, the way one dresses is defined by the rhetorical situation: what your purpose for the text (persuasive, informative, entertaining---bearing in mind that all text is persuasive when accounting for ethos)? who is your audience? what is the genre (business school, art school, going to a concert, meeting the parents for the first time)? who is the rhetor (who am I supposed to be for the occasion)? There's also medium, but it's clothing and accessories, duh.

Yes! I'm enjoying the work--it's intellectually stimulating, which is what I was missing in my old line of work. I even enjoy the deadlines, as they force me to write (a task that I find enjoyable in the editing stage but not in the beginning stages when I'm staring at a blank screen). You have to juggle many priorities--work, family, your own research, fun--but, at least in my experience in the social sciences (where data collection in the field is less time consuming than data analysis at home, in the office or a coffee shop), I have had more flexible time to spend with my kids. They've even said that they get to see me more as a grad student than they did when I was a teacher.

I'm really hating FB right now. In the beginning it was good to keep in touch with people far away. But now in grad school? People posting every single outing with other grad students? And I wasn't even invited? You know what? I don't post every single frickin' event that I go to. And I hate seeing that stuff on FB. So I think I'm going to get off FB now, at least for a little while... still good to keep in touch with family but I'm not keen on how some of my colleagues use FB.